Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Male to female transsexual talk (MTF) => Topic started by: stephaniec on October 15, 2015, 03:26:02 PM

Poll
Question: Hows your relationship status as you transition?
Option 1: married votes: 23
Option 2: common law votes: 1
Option 3: seperated  and dating votes: 1
Option 4: seperated and not dating votes: 2
Option 5: divorced and dating votes: 3
Option 6: divorced and not dating votes: 2
Option 7: single and dating ,never been married votes: 2
Option 8: single and not dating votes: 13
Option 9: have no interest in dating votes: 4
Option 10: other options votes: 4
Title: Hows your relationship status as you transition?
Post by: stephaniec on October 15, 2015, 03:26:02 PM
Just curious, when I was younger I use to date quite a bit then I hit a dysphoric wall and stopped all social interaction for quite a long time. Being on Susan's the past 2 years has been my only interaction with people other than my therapist and a few people in the coffee places I go. I've never been married. I'm trying ever so slowly to get myself back in , but its mostly on the back burner . If  it happens fine , if it doesn't fine . I'm just enjoying the transition and traveling down a new road. I love being me finally.
Title: Re: Hows your relationship status as you transition?
Post by: TG CLare on October 15, 2015, 04:40:07 PM
My wife died back in 2009. Since then, I met a great lady but since I transitioned we are just friends now. All future plans long term plans like marriage were shelved until I "came back". I told her the man she knew is never coming back so it's friends and support. If I find someone I love or wish to date, I can but doubtful I'll ever find my "soul mate". There's one woman I am truly in love with, don't think she suspects, but I highly doubt it will ever go anywhere. Too many professional road blocks.

Love,
Clare
Title: Re: Hows your relationship status as you transition?
Post by: Kayla88 on October 15, 2015, 07:27:13 PM
At the start of my transition I decided to not date anyone until I got the operation as its the biggest obstacle for me, so I doubt I could give anyone the attention they would deserve until my major part of stress and dysphoria are gone.
So far I have kept to this but I still have a long way to go till the operation, so that might change one day lol.
Title: Re: Hows your relationship status as you transition?
Post by: Sabrina on October 15, 2015, 08:00:07 PM
I'm interested in dating but it's tough while transitioning. I seem to only get looks from shady characters.
Title: Re: Hows your relationship status as you transition?
Post by: Miss Clara on October 15, 2015, 08:40:36 PM
I've been married for years and feel very lucky that my spouse has stayed with me since my coming out two years ago.  More amazing to me is that she is not resentful about my decision to transition.  I have her full support.  The fact is, our relationship has improved since the initial rough patch when big adjustments had to be made.  I guess you just never know how things will turn out.
Title: Re: Hows your relationship status as you transition?
Post by: Valwen on October 15, 2015, 10:20:38 PM
I picked other because I am a 34 year old virgin who's closest thing to dating or romantic encounters was when I was 8 and on a dare kissed a girl in a tree under a blanket.

for most of my life I had myself convinced that I could never be with someone because it would be wrong and cruel to them so I cut that desire out of my life save in the most fanciful of dreams then I started HRT and my sex drive died and I mostly stopped thinking about it all together. Then about 2-3 months later it came back and now for the first time in decades I find myself with a real desire for closeness, and intamacy. I don't expect it to happen any time soon or perhaps ever but I do want it and the idea of having it dose not scare me like it once did, I no longer feel like I have to have my body perfect before I even try, I am starting to hesititantly accept that I might not be a awful person.

so ya thats where things stand now, second puberty, second chance.

Serena
Title: Re: Hows your relationship status as you transition?
Post by: Alyssa M. on October 15, 2015, 10:43:35 PM
Transitioning has been unambiguously great for dating. I spent most of my 20s single, largely because I was trying to decide whether to transition and how to deal with my gender identity in the context of relationships. I dated a lot more after I started transitioning, and I've been in a relationship for several years. It's way easier to be in a relationship when it doesn't involve the other person being into someone that you don't want to be.
Title: Re: Hows your relationship status as you transition?
Post by: stephaniec on October 15, 2015, 10:46:05 PM
I haven't dated for a long time, but I always keep a light burning. The HRT has helped me quite a bit not worrying about it. Before I started HRT and what caused me to start HRT was the fact That I seriously was thinking it was all over, but the HRT gave me hope and it also calmed me down so if it happens it happens , but I'm not going to die because of hopelessness .
Title: Re: Hows your relationship status as you transition?
Post by: Carrie Liz on October 16, 2015, 02:27:41 AM
Single but not dating...

I was in a long-term relationship just before transitioning, but we broke up a few months before I started hormones.

Since then I pretty much haven't even tried. Too many complications, too much anxiety, too much effort. Plus I need to learn to love myself first before I can try to love another person again.
Title: Re: Hows your relationship status as you transition?
Post by: Alainaluvsu on October 16, 2015, 02:42:10 AM
I was always kinda lonely on and off and wanted somebody pre transition. I've slowly moved on from that and now I just don't care. I don't care to date or have sex. If it happens, whatever ... but I'm not looking for it and I don't really want anything right now.
Title: Re: Hows your relationship status as you transition?
Post by: Michelle G on October 16, 2015, 01:41:58 PM
Things are great with my lovely spouse and I, once she got over the initial shock four years ago her response the next day was "well, I guess we need to go shopping for you"

I just love her fashion sense help and hair/makeup ideas....we truly are best friends :)
Title: Re: Hows your relationship status as you transition?
Post by: Mariah on October 16, 2015, 02:30:34 PM
As of Tomorrow I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for the 10 months. I have never been married or been in a relationship before that. I avoided before transition; Hugs
Mariah
Title: Re: Hows your relationship status as you transition?
Post by: stephaniec on October 16, 2015, 02:46:48 PM
Quote from: Mariah2014 on October 16, 2015, 02:30:34 PM
As of Tomorrow I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for the 10 months. I have never been married or been in a relationship before that. I avoided before transition; Hugs
Mariah
Happy 10th
Title: Re: Hows your relationship status as you transition?
Post by: Jessica Merriman on October 16, 2015, 02:52:09 PM
I am in a wonderful relationship with a trans girl I helped get her start here two years ago. Her name is Paula Ann Hvasta and she is amazing and beautiful! PS-I have a ring on my finger now!!! Stay tuned for wedding announcement. :)
Title: Re: Hows your relationship status as you transition?
Post by: stephaniec on October 16, 2015, 03:03:05 PM
congrats
Title: Re: Hows your relationship status as you transition?
Post by: Mariah on October 16, 2015, 03:07:28 PM
Stephanie Thank You.
Title: Re: Hows your relationship status as you transition?
Post by: Mariah on October 16, 2015, 03:07:57 PM
Congrats Jessica
Title: Re: Hows your relationship status as you transition?
Post by: Jessica Merriman on October 16, 2015, 03:12:48 PM
Thanks all! Life after transition everyone! It can happen. :)
Title: Re: Hows your relationship status as you transition?
Post by: Debra on October 16, 2015, 04:28:20 PM
Divorced 2010
Dated for a while
Re-married in 2015 =)

Honeymoon in Disneyworld next week!
Title: Re: Hows your relationship status as you transition?
Post by: galaxy on October 16, 2015, 04:50:56 PM
Single ... since 35 years.
Title: Re: Hows your relationship status as you transition?
Post by: iKate on October 16, 2015, 06:33:07 PM
Married... on paper only.

We are so not attracted to each other in the least now.

I don't have a boyfriend yet either but I don't think that will be for long. :)
Title: Re: Hows your relationship status as you transition?
Post by: pretty pauline on October 16, 2015, 07:05:05 PM
Quote from: Debra on October 16, 2015, 04:28:20 PM
Divorced 2010
Dated for a while
Re-married in 2015 =)

Honeymoon in Disneyworld next week!
Congratulations Debra that's wonderful news, honeymoon in Disneyworld sounds romantic, I got married in 2010, 5th wedding anniversary this year.
Title: Re: Hows your relationship status as you transition?
Post by: CrysC on October 16, 2015, 11:43:26 PM
Married for 23 years.  Still together. 
The relationship is certainly different but we are each other's best friend. 
Title: Re: Hows your relationship status as you transition?
Post by: BridgetYvonne on October 17, 2015, 12:50:29 PM
my relationship w/ my GF Vikki has been great. a bit rocky but great. Not sure if she some how knew that I CD before I told her but there sure were signs that she did. 1-she had me dress 'en femme' as a Pan Am stewardess our 1st Halloween (2012) After I lost my job & apt, I moved in w/ her & instead of paying rent, I did the cooking & cleaning (feb 2013) Apr 2013 I helped her springclean by helping her got thru her closet & box up some of stuff for Goodwill. After I told her that I CD (Jul 2013) I asked her if she knew? She just gave me a girlish giggle, which I now do, & said "A girls perogitive to keep secrets." I know there is a 'womens intuition' but did she know? There are times when Vikki treats me as her kingsized Barbie. We'd go out to a store & she'd have me try something on, in a changing room that she wants to buy. (we are the same Ht/Wt (5/5 147) My revelation tok her awhile to let it all soak in. She joked saying  "Oh so you're dating me for my clothes, not my body? When a guy says he wants to get into a girl's Jeans, this is usually not what is meant." She jokes when she doesn't know how to handle a situation. It took her abit 2 weeks so I stayed 'tomboy' until I knew. 
Title: Re: Hows your relationship status as you transition?
Post by: kaitylynn on October 17, 2015, 01:19:40 PM
Hit a point at which it actually started to make sense to skip dating till I get myself sorted out a little better.  Have had more than a few ladies tell me that I do not need to be in a rush and to focus on me for a while.

Funny thing, suddenly my X wants to be with me...I think that is more so she can book us on Springer or some stuff.
Title: Re: Hows your relationship status as you transition?
Post by: Amber74 on October 17, 2015, 09:16:04 PM
I have been with my gf  for ten years this past september  Shes only  has known I am trans for 2 years and fully supports me and we plan on getting married once I go full time and am* me*
Title: Re: Hows your relationship status as you transition?
Post by: Sspar on October 17, 2015, 10:33:07 PM
Married 29.5 years..
came out 6 months ago..( lots of clues thru the years )
Wife was pissed at first..... very..
she's still annoyed, but things have improved greatly..
lots of learning and adjustment for the both of us..
we have always loved each other and i think when all is
said and done, I believe we will come out the other side
different.. but happy and together
Title: Re: Hows your relationship status as you transition?
Post by: islandgirl on October 17, 2015, 10:38:14 PM
We have been married for 41 years, and have been together for 44. It has been a real roller coaster ride since I came out to my wife last Oct. I really don't know what the future will bring but I do know that we are working hard at continuing the journey together. There are great days full of joy and those filled with uncertainty, fear and tears. One day at a time is my goal.
Title: Re: Hows your relationship status as you transition?
Post by: HeatherR on October 17, 2015, 10:41:35 PM
absolutely and positively non-existent. 
Title: Re: Hows your relationship status as you transition?
Post by: michelle on October 17, 2015, 11:06:52 PM
How does divorced and co-parenting sound?    I am with my second family and we have been together 13 years.   I am not sure how to define our relationship except for living together and co-parenting our 12-year-old.   
Title: Re: Hows your relationship status as you transition?
Post by: allisonsteph on October 18, 2015, 06:30:27 AM
My third and final divorce should be finalized in the next 30-45 days. Jumped into a relationship immediately upon separating from my wife, and began transitioning. It was so disastrous that I would up homeless for six months. Haven't dated in over a year, and have no desire to.