Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transgender talk => Topic started by: Cindy on October 16, 2015, 02:13:42 AM

Title: My response to a 'rude' question
Post by: Cindy on October 16, 2015, 02:13:42 AM
My Pathology labs are going through a regular NATA inspection to make sure we are compliant with the testing rules etc.

At the start up meeting the list of change in personnel is discussed, particularly for heads of unit. For my section it was listed as no change.

One assessor tried, I think, to be rude. She looked at me and said there is no listed change in the Director yet the previous Director was may old male name. But there has been a change (the surname is the same) as you are now Director, please explain. She had a sick smile on her face.

'There has been no change, I have had a sex change - I didn't realise it was a NATA requirement to seek permission for it?'

My senior scientist tries to stuff her fist down her mouth to stop laughing. My quality manger looks shocked, the assessor goes from a rather red colour to a white colour to a - please earth open up and swallow me look. I flutter my eyelashes.

The assessor avoids me like the plague for the rest of the day.

My labs pass inspection without comment.

Title: Re: My response to a 'rude' question
Post by: Ms Grace on October 16, 2015, 02:18:24 AM
Quote from: Cindy on October 16, 2015, 02:13:42 AM
She looked at me and said there is no listed change in the Director yet the previous Director was may old male name. But there has been a change (the surname is the same) as you are now Director, please explain. She had a sick smile on her face.

Wow, what a cow. I'd say it was pretty obvious she knew exactly what she was doing.
Title: Re: My response to a 'rude' question
Post by: Cindy on October 16, 2015, 02:21:51 AM
Quote from: Ms Grace on October 16, 2015, 02:18:24 AM
Quote from: Cindy on October 16, 2015, 02:13:42 AM
She looked at me and said there is no listed change in the Director yet the previous Director was may old male name. But there has been a change (the surname is the same) as you are now Director, please explain. She had a sick smile on her face.

Wow, what a cow. I'd say it was pretty obvious she knew exactly what she was doing.

Oh yes. She knew. My quality manager wants to put in a formal complaint. I'll probably let him. It was a hurtful and spiteful comment and some transgender people would have got upset.
Title: Re: My response to a 'rude' question
Post by: Ms Grace on October 16, 2015, 02:24:57 AM
Sounds like you put her in her place though.
Title: Re: My response to a 'rude' question
Post by: Jill F on October 16, 2015, 03:16:41 AM
I might have asked her about the quality of the view of the inside of her large intestine.
Title: Re: My response to a 'rude' question
Post by: Mariah on October 16, 2015, 03:23:14 AM
Bravo for putting her in her place. I agree that she clearly knew what she was up too. Hugs
Mariah
Title: Re: My response to a 'rude' question
Post by: Teema on October 16, 2015, 04:58:10 AM
No one messes with Cindy!Go girl!!
Title: Re: My response to a 'rude' question
Post by: KarynMcD on October 16, 2015, 05:47:30 AM
You're Awesome!
This and the other day with that consultant.
Awesome!
Title: Re: My response to a 'rude' question
Post by: Cynobyte on October 16, 2015, 06:13:09 AM
great job:)  people like that should not be in a position to where they can judge, if they cannot do it correctly. 

Sent from my SM-N910V using Tapatalk

Title: Re: My response to a 'rude' question
Post by: Sandy on October 16, 2015, 07:00:40 AM
Well done, Cindy!
Title: Re: My response to a 'rude' question
Post by: Sharon Anne McC on October 16, 2015, 07:32:47 AM
*
It seems that assessor was 'clueless' in multiple definitions of that term.  She clearly did not know your work team knew of your circumstance; she was 'sick' in a blind scheme thinking she could embarrass you to your organisation.  You are so fortuneate to be employed where you are accepted.

It seems that if her question was real and honest, then she could have approached either you or your supervisor in private to seek clarification.

Congratulations for putting her in her place.  Her mis-adventure calls for further action by her work superiors.
*
Title: Re: My response to a 'rude' question
Post by: Sarah82 on October 16, 2015, 07:36:45 AM
Well-done Cindy!
A good comeback like that is better than physically slapping the hate off their faces. It shows the hater that the rest of the world is not on their side and they have just outed themselves as a hateful bigot.
Hugs,
Sarah
Title: Re: My response to a 'rude' question
Post by: Cindy on October 17, 2015, 02:34:16 AM
I have received an email from her abjectly apologising for her behaviour. It was a nice apology as she did not offer any excuse, but that she was unforgivably rude and she will never act in that way again to anyone anywhere ever again.

I replied accepting her apology.
Title: Re: My response to a 'rude' question
Post by: V M on October 17, 2015, 02:51:57 AM
Oh my... That was so inappropriate, unprofessional and uncalled for, what a wench - I imagine she won't be pulling into port and turning her canons towards you any time soon - Well played
Title: Re: My response to a 'rude' question
Post by: stephaniec on October 17, 2015, 03:10:50 AM
Karma est un fait scientifique
Title: Re: My response to a 'rude' question
Post by: JessicaAlba on October 17, 2015, 03:11:32 AM
Believe me, know your pain! Was working this job where these coworkers would call me 'dude' ,after I had gone full time,daily for express.
Had to fire myself. To bad cause I loved the job and could use the money. Writing a blog about it and probably will also turn my experiences with these folks into a journal. That way those asses at least make me a bit of money for the disgusting time I had to spend with them ;)
Title: Re: My response to a 'rude' question
Post by: Cindy on October 17, 2015, 06:55:38 AM
Quote from: JessicaAlba on October 17, 2015, 03:11:32 AM
Believe me, know your pain! Was working this job where these coworkers would call me 'dude' ,after I had gone full time,daily for express.
Had to fire myself. To bad cause I loved the job and could use the money. Writing a blog about it and probably will also turn my experiences with these folks into a journal. That way those asses at least make me a bit of money for the disgusting time I had to spend with them ;)

Oh Jessica,
My staff have been totally supportive.  Their transition has been far more profound than mine.  They had to deal with their boss who they thought was a guy. They had never met a transgender woman and then I arrive on a Monday morning in a skirt and blouse.

They have utterly accepted me - but they do not accept people who do not accept me.

I love them.
Title: Re: My response to a 'rude' question
Post by: Kylie1 on October 17, 2015, 07:06:21 AM
Cindy,

That was awesome!! You drove her into the ground like a nail! 
:)
Title: Re: My response to a 'rude' question
Post by: Dena on October 17, 2015, 07:46:43 AM
Boss, remind me not to get on your bad side.
Title: Re: My response to a 'rude' question
Post by: Cindy on October 17, 2015, 09:02:32 AM
Quote from: Dena on October 17, 2015, 07:46:43 AM
Boss, remind me not to get on your bad side.

I only have a bad side!

You haven't noticed?
Title: Re: My response to a 'rude' question
Post by: Mariah on October 17, 2015, 09:05:30 AM
 :icon_yikes:
Quote from: Cindy on October 17, 2015, 09:02:32 AM
I only have a bad side!

You haven't noticed?
Title: Re: My response to a 'rude' question
Post by: Dena on October 17, 2015, 09:12:54 AM
Quote from: Cindy on October 17, 2015, 09:02:32 AM
I only have a bad side!

You haven't noticed?
You forgave me one mistake already so you can't be all bad.
Of course then again I still have the marks from the chains you used to drag me into the moderator position but they only hurt when I use the keyboard.
Title: Re: My response to a 'rude' question
Post by: Eva Marie on October 17, 2015, 09:25:42 AM
Cindy - I love your wit and the way you own who you are. You certainly put that person in her place!
Title: Re: My response to a 'rude' question
Post by: Chrissy5946 on October 17, 2015, 07:58:28 PM
Thanks for posting this event..
It's a fear I deal with when presenting female in public, working to gain the confidence to " say/do the right thing" when the need arises.
We cannot change the way some in society "deal" with not normal expectations, I just cannot figure out what is normal?, I haven't met anyone yet who is normal!!


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
Title: Re: My response to a 'rude' question
Post by: JessicaAlba on October 17, 2015, 08:03:56 PM
These types of issues are definitely common to deal with for us transpeople. I got bullied away from my last work where I worked for already more than 3 years. I got insulted for dude everyday and couldn't stand it anymore.
Title: Re: My response to a 'rude' question
Post by: Qrachel on October 18, 2015, 12:00:26 PM
Dear Cindy (and others here):

I was sad to read about the incident and also pleased you were able to be who you are in the face of such behavior.

I was also pleased that the women apologized to you, and you accepted her apology.  That to me is one of the best outcomes that was otherwise possible.  When people can recognize they made a mistake and apologize while accepting responsibility, in this case a public and egregious one, that's a step forward for us all and what may have the most positive impact over time.

The moment must have been uncomfortable in one way or another for all, and out of that moment there may have been a real life changing event . . . at least that's how I see it.  Thank you for being you.

Thanks for sharing,

Rachel
Title: Re: My response to a 'rude' question
Post by: MugwortPsychonaut on October 18, 2015, 03:22:39 PM
Quote from: Jill F on October 16, 2015, 03:16:41 AM
I might have asked her about the quality of the view of the inside of her large intestine.

Hahaha!  :laugh:
Title: Re: My response to a 'rude' question
Post by: BirlPower on October 19, 2015, 01:00:03 PM
I'd echo everything Rachel said and add that if she hnours her promise to never behave like that to anyone ever again, then you have made the world a better place. An uncomfortable story with a heartwarming outcome.
Title: Re: My response to a 'rude' question
Post by: Rachel on October 19, 2015, 07:24:07 PM
Cindy, you are a wonderful and courageous representative of our community. The inspector on the other hand is ratchet. She had an agenda and you called her on it. 
Title: Re: My response to a 'rude' question
Post by: Lady Smith on October 19, 2015, 07:31:42 PM
Quote from: Eva Marie on October 17, 2015, 09:25:42 AM
Cindy - I love your wit and the way you own who you are. You certainly put that person in her place!

This +1

Well done Cindy  ;D
Title: Re: My response to a 'rude' question
Post by: Emocia on October 20, 2015, 05:20:10 AM
That was very influential, Cindy. Especially that forgiving part - I usually struggle accepting apologies. I look up to you for that.  :)
Title: Re: My response to a 'rude' question
Post by: Cindy on October 20, 2015, 05:24:12 AM
Quote from: Emocia on October 20, 2015, 05:20:10 AM
That was very influential, Cindy. Especially that forgiving part - I usually struggle accepting apologies. I look up to you for that.  :)

Accepting an apology takes courage.

Giving a heartfelt apology takes an understanding of humanity. We can never dismiss that.