Hey guys, I have this weird but wonderful phenomenon that in many of my dreams I am female. I had these dreams from that I was a child and it is just shows me more what my internal gender actually is and that it is real.
How many of you experience the same phenomenon?
i change from person to person in dreams, and third person, so i can be running from someone switch to third person, and be watching it, then become the person chasing. so i can be anyone and many people in the same dream.
i had very few of those drrams pre hrt, but now its all there are:) dreams are a way to rehearse something to get it right. sound like your brain knew there would be a time when you were going to transition:)
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I have posted here and other message boards how I have experienced such dreams - as my female self and as other personae. Allow me to re-state to this thread:
- I had a bad nightmare about chaos and murder (1969); one of the deceased in that dream was named Sharon - my female name I presented to my mom (1965). Such dreams have been common because I had been subjected to violence and near-death at the hands of both my father and drunken mother. I originally thought my dream reflected on my own death - literally or spiritually - until certain news of August 1969 and the death of a woman named Sharon.
- On another of similar experience was a violent dream in which I was both victims and the assailant (1994). My male predecessor name was Nick; one of the deceased in this dream had the female variant of Nick. My reaction to this dream was that it graphically reflected the final end to my male predecessor. A few months later came another chill. One of the murder victims in a June crime is named Nicole.
- A less severe dream - series of dreams actually - developed while on high-dose ERT. My first internist prescribed my daily dose all at once with breakfast during early transition while I was still male at work. I frequently became ill but found it difficult to explain to people who did not know my secret. My physician changed my dose to scatter throughout the day and I ceased my sickness. A few years later, a different endocrinologist, and back to full dose in the morning with breakfast. This time transition was completed, I was now female full-time forever post-op. My female co-workers at various temp agency assignments noticed my sickness and asked about my due date, if I wanted a girl or a boy, if this was my first pregnancy, etc. I was not out to them either so I was initially confused. Then it hit me. My feeling sick was 'morning sickness' and the females at work recognised it though they did not know of my transsexual condition. And the dreams I had on days of 'morning sickness'? Why they were dreams of me in various stages of pregnancy.
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You're not alone. I'm my actual gender/sex in most of my dreams, I'm a guy. It's only in terrible nightmares I am the opposite sex. Being the opposite sex in my dreams make it a nightmares, but being opposite sex in real life is much worse. So I can relate much about the dreaming phenomenon.
I believe my brain or DNA is changing subtly in real time. I used to dream I was exclusively female apart form the odd (pleasant dream) where I was male. Now I am always aware in my dreams of a kind of transitional status. I expect in future I will dream as male.
I've had them a only a couple of times in the past. The most recent one I had was solely because I was intensely planning out my transition earlier that day. I can't remember what actually happened in the dreams though, aside from being male.
When I was younger, yes I would dream as about 50% female in them. To this day in about 80% of my dreams I am female, the other 20% is that I am in transition to female.
Kate <3
I've always had cross-over dreams which are mostly (unfortunately), cross-over
nightmares. They usually have the same format or theme ... I start out successfully
as a woman comfortable in the dream but as it goes on I began to look more and more
masculine until often I feel like a guy in a dress and everyone is laughing. These are
very painful. Some of the dreams I don't change and am accepted and they are just fine.
In my dreams there is almost nothing I have not dreamed about as a woman. I have been
married, married with children. I have been married to abusive husbands .. been pregnant
and given birth. In one dream I took over a pregnancy from my aunt about 6 months in
(don't ask me how that works) and then gave birth. I've even had periods.
Since about 2 years ago when I kind of lost it, had a breakdown and been searching for
my real self, my dreams have become really crazy and disturbing (my therapist sees them
as my struggle to deal with my past and make myself right). When I have them, I often have
trouble sleeping any more the rest of the night. Here is one of them:
I am going on this hike in the mountains. There are other parents there which I do not know and
many children ages about 5 - 6 years old. We're milling about trying to get organized with the kids
so we can head out on the trail. When I look and notice that the trail is this narrow path with no
railing or protection with a sheer drop 1000's of feet down to the valley below. I start yelling to the
adults that we can not possibly take all these little kids on this very dangerous trail but they don't
listen and tell me that everything will be fine.
We start out and almost immediately one of the little boys falls over the edge. It's terrible!
One of the fathers goes to where the boy fell and looks down. He then calmly and nonchalantly gives
a play-by-play account of the boy falling down the cliff:
"He just bounced off a rock and now he hit a tree and then tumbled into another rock"
I can't believe what he is saying. I race over to the cliff edge and go down .. I need to try and save him!
Strangely, the mountain side is no longer so steep a drop off, but more of a gradual grassy slope down through
trees which I run and skid over to the bottom. There is a grassy meadow with trees and I yell out for the
boy, but there is no longer a boy but a little girl.
I try to get her to come to me.
"Sweetie pie ... Sweetie pie .. come here" I say but she runs away.
I try again to get her to come to me but she runs.
The dream ends.
I have many dreams like this.
All the best,
Kath
Since I was a kid. I never wanted to wake up from those dreams. Now they are a reality and I love to get out of bed now.
Usually I'm not anyone in my dreams. Like I have no body. But lately, I dream that I'm a man more and more often.
Most of my dreams in the past i was a guy. Ive been estrogen for like 4 weeks now and not only do i sleep better but my dreams are sweet. I am a female all of my dreams now. I used to have this reoccurring dream where i was forced to dress and act like a little girl. I was a girl in that but that seems to have faded away since i started hormones. I love it.