So I started HRT a little over 3 weeks ago and I have to say, the emotional changes really snuck up on me. I was expecting SOME sort of shift, but everything took an unintentional turn for the dramatic over the last week or so. I didn't even realize it was happening. Innocuous comments or occurrences that I rationally have no problem with suddenly feel quite intense, and I find myself responding in not super cool ways. Then I tell myself "whoa, okay chill out it's not a big deal", and then immediately snap again the next time they say something.
Or I see my kitty curled up in the sunshine and it's the most adorable thing ever and all is right with the world. And then I accidentally step on a snail and curse the world for its cruelty and injustice.
I'm pretty embarrassed actually. I'm a bit long in the tooth to be acting like a moody teenager. But that seems to be where I'm at emotionally. Am I safe in assuming others have experienced this too? Does it even out over time as your brain gets used to the changes in hormones, or do you just get better at handling it?
QuoteDoes it even out over time as your brain gets used to the changes in hormones, or do you just get better at handling it?
After almost two years of HRT, I would say that I start getting better at handling it. The intensity of the "sudden" emotions seems to have remained the same, but I am learning to anticipate them and to not be overwhelmed by them.
Have you heard others talk about a second puberty? Here you go.
I have, and I guess I expected something like it but not to this degree.
I didn't have any huge emotional shift other than a feeling of we'll being and a ridding myself of uncontrollable anger. The other things like crying at movies and feeling intense empathy have been there all along. Maybe they are a little closer to the surface now.
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I am not sure hormones have anything to do with it but I allow myself to feel more emotions that I did before. My feelings before treatment overpowered most of what I felt before. Without the noise of the transsexual feelings I can feel the emotions that were once blocked out.
My wife would agree with you. I have a meltdown about once a week lately, lol.
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What it seems to come down to is that everyone reacts differently. You'll have to see how you react. I did notice, in my case, a short period of wild swings but this quickly (within weeks) settled down.
I have been feeling everything more intensely since I started HRT four weeks ago. The last week or so, I have been having horrible mood swings. For instance I got angry with my wife yesterday for trying to help me with a bit of writing I had to do. It was awful! I then apologized and cried on her shoulder for a half hour. Still, I would t trade any of it for the world. :)
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Being 2.5 years in FT for HRT, and about 16 years off and on, I will say that it smooths out. BUT- focus on the internal changes, thought shifts, emotional fluctuation, and how you handle them.
Too often you see people sooooo focused on the external changes they forget about the more important internal ones. I have seen things not turn out well when the internal changes finally catch up, the worst case led to nervous breakdown and detrans. It is absolutely vital. I know it sounds repetitive, buuuuuut I think the jist of it is laid out.
But yes, focusing on them early on is also beneficial as what you get physical will blow your mind once you see around 1.5 years. Document with diary daily how you are feeling, even slightly. Its so fun to eventually sit down and look back on and think "wow, seriously" "like seriously face?" LOL. Physical Documenting is not for everyone. What is that saying? a watched boob doth not grow?
So much truth in this thread! The internals are so often overlooked. My first time, emotions are what brought it too a close. I was nearly overwhelmed by them. I knew they were coming when I started, knew 'when' they started and then was steam rolled by them for a while. It is the one part no one can truly prepare you for.
You'll get to a point really enjoy feeling things. Feeling what people say to you, feeling what is happening to you throughout the day...it is precious to look at the world through one's heart with the mind a distant check system. It is also something new at first.
When feeling overwhelmed, smile...breath in the through nose a long breath and exhale. Several times and I have always found myself back in enough control to keep from throttling the cause of it. ;)