Bring that light closer, I think he's got nits.
Ah yes!!! It's my turn to start the next round of silly Bamboozlings
Ya know, ya carn't beat a cool tub on a hot day.
"I see what you did there..."
no, you can't see me at all....
Yes, that was me. I was once head lion at MGM. You know that gorgeous blond young lion who roared at the beginning of every MGM movie. Well that was until I went grey. Women over 40 in the film industry aren't the only ones who have image problems. Us lions have issues to, you know.
You should see me when I put my dentures in
I was recommended by 4 out of 5 dentists, but I think I'd rather date attorneys.
Now presenting guitar-shaped gum pieces!
Have any of you seen my teeth anywhere?
Look at my new dentures. Don't they sparkle and shine.
Sorry hon, but I never share lip balm
I'll be over as soon as I get my boots on.
I just discovered a major didgeridon't.
This is the new me, guys. Love me, hate me....I don't give a hoot.
Interest rates will be kept on hold. The economy is growing.
I had no idea what I wanted my front license's plate to say, so I just used my login's password.
Get off my lawn!
grit my teeth.... don't say it....
Does this go with my shoes?
We will gird our loins and fight for justice!
Is this a loin?
Get in the car? But this is my favorite seat
I was told I needed salt baths post surgery, but in a barrel?
Look out M->-bleeped-<-IE!
Yes this is a suppository.
Just wait until I come over to visit young lady.
If I scratch his thing once more, I'm sure it'll explode.
"You know that's going down on your permanent record."
Honestly officer, it's just a Christmas toy, just a Christmas toy.
Yes, I used frozen instead of fresh. I'm so embarrassed.
I'm gonna count to 10. You'd best run.
And this is why they kicked me out of the Army...
I was going to wear purple lipstick but I thought Cindy would be jealous!
The car is convertible. I am not.
It even fires pink bullets.
Ummmm, I think I'm close enough to the screen already....
I am your worse nightmare. But I have a cute factor!
Nobody mention the Hair Iron
We will punch our own eye out....
...If We Have To!
If only I had a hand bag!
Santa baby, I just want you tonight. Mmmm
I'm in the queue for the next ping pong paddle therapy session
I may look nice and relaxed, but I'm secretly playing ping pong..
Has anyone found my keys yet?
"oh, I found your keys alright. I have them. You're not going anywhere, mister! *I'm* driving."
"Snake? Snake!? Snake--!!!"
ogenki desu ka?
Is that a full magazine or are you just happy to see me?
Hurry up and unwrap your present!
Yeah, a pink gun: deadlier than your standard black gun!
I'm the new wave Christmas elf.
This car's for sale, ......... and so am I.
"Ooooh, I've always waited for the day where I would be the lead-performer on stage!"
I have a lot more gadgetry than what you see, kid.
Last lap! Eat your heart out Herbie.
I said; Put a tiger in your tank!!
Ouch, I found the dilator.
Doesn't look like much, but this car's pumping 450+ Horsepower to the wheels!
I can't believe the realism that goes into these toy race cars these days
Beer me!
It's pronounced, "JILF".
Call me "sir" ONE MORE TIME and see what happens...
pink is the new black
The latest in Barbie accessories. The new Barbies are looking so realistic that the dream house and car had to upgraded to match. Here you can see just how successful those toy makers are.
Winter is coming!
Santa's daughter caught sneaking out of the house.
I am the mane attraction at Susan's Place, and I'm not lion.
Wow!!! I've never heard accordion music quite like that!!! Are you in a band?
Yeah.....that's a perfect photoshop alright.
Sure, I'd understand perfectly if you actually said something that made sense - Would you like another drink?
Damn, I should have put my undies on before my boots
"Honey, I have so much money that I could *OWN* you...."
Have you tried pressing the power button?
I have to put the lotion on my skin, otherwise I get the hose again? This is like the worst date ever.
I've seen my fair share of hypocritical jerks in my day, but you bunch of idiots have definitely won yourselves at least a prize or two
Hmm, boots on (don't want sandy toes), hat on (don't want sunny glare), now how do I get out without getting my boots wet?
Afternoon stubble ladies.
Quote from: Cindy on December 20, 2015, 07:18:40 AM
Afternoon stubble ladies.
All the better to give whisker rubs.
Caption: To remember my name, I put it on my license plates. Good-bye amnesia stuff.
Who's up for gazelle taco night? This guy!
I know Jack.
I see Jill!
Sorry officer, you're going to need a warrant if you want to see who *cough* I mean what's in the trunk.
Its pronounced, "shi-TAYD".
Ugh, I hate bangs. They totally block my view.
You did what to my clothes in the dryer?
Oh, boy.....this car is about to catch on fire. Get out.....RUN!!!!!
You are about to enter another dimension....
SHIPPING TIME!!!!!!!!
Scully! That face has come back- there really is something out there
Sure, I'd love to dance, I'm just waiting for someone to play some dance-able music
This leg isn't connected to anything. Here, let me show you. -PLOP-
Alright now listen here ya' see.
The daily commute is getting worse each day.
Ladies don't fart, it must have been you
Stop staring and bring me a champagne.
Because women can do anything.
I try to be as cute as Portia Porcupine. But, I always fail.
:D :P
(I actually was a Smurfs fan when I was a little kid.)
These buttons are on sale for $2.50 on Etsy.
Is that rat bigger than me?!
I was going to star in the new Colgate Ring of confidence ad, but l ate the dentist.
All right, tell the truth. YOU ate all of cookies!
Do these pants make my tail look big?
Quote from: Tech_Nymph on January 28, 2016, 05:33:52 PM
Do these pants make my tail look big?
:D They are both wearing long skirts.
O.T: Flower Jellyfish
My zoom is broken. ;D
I've heard of rosy dreams but raining roses...?
(I think I need some dental floss.)
Ok who put the bleach in my bath?
I've heard that Princess Leah never actually got laid, that's okay neither have I
What do you mean we're out of water!? Fine!! I'll tan instead.
And when I wake up things will be great!
Okay. Who took my $100?
When I learned 'You are what you eat', I realised I was nuts.
Some folks wonder how someone as blue as me could be so happy and bubbly
"Annnnnd 1, 2, annnnd streeeeetc- OW I pulled something!"
You said cheese?
I was thinking I should house train my dogs not to pee on the floor, but then I remembered that I live alone and have no pets
And where did we even find this metal bin over here? And why is this metal bin just randomly here?
Certainly this must be a hallucination, I've been wondering about this desert for days and the first container of water I find has a cowgirl skinny dipping in it?
So which one of you put glue in my boots?
Deep meditation yo.
Um, this wasn't the version of Jimmy Crack Corn I was planning on learning
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0AK-C0ujQck
"Seriously though, I'm really stuck and no one has helped me yet. Can somebody please get me out? Anybody! Anybody please!
I've got nothing
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fuploads.tapatalk-cdn.com%2F20160206%2F8b7641a4591a9b3d5210c71dc7eab3f0.jpg&hash=cbd03678bc788dc589e8e34d63327009f5946c85)
Sent from my SM-N920T using Tapatalk
"Anything the light touches is yours"
"gazing mysteriously into the distance, thinking about things forever kept silent".
Wanna hear my band's new demo on my boombox?
So these is what our twins look like?
What exactly do you mean by "Limp wrist"?
I was told a milk bath helps with healthy skin. Good thing I chased the cows away first.
No, I have no idea what happened with the powered donuts...
'Sup
"Motorcycle, sword, and a sunset. NOW!"
What the did I come in here for?
Desert Survival Guide 101:
Tip 1: Collect perspiration for drinking water to prevent dehydration.
Tip 2: Boots allow for extra perspiration therefore should be worn at all times.
Tip 3: Unless it's leather no clothing can be worn while collecting the perspiration.
Tip 4: Trust me, I'm not crazy.
How do I know I can trust you without you testing your idea at yourself first? :)
By the way, I'm wondering if I'm going to nail it. Yes, I put a nail through your Survival Guide book. So I think I nailed it? ::) ::) ::)
Hey, bro! I haven't seen you in a since high school. Yeah, that was a long time ago....almost 20 years, but some things never change. I'm still working at the same pizza place I was working at back then. So what kind of pizza can I get for you today? Right, and what to drink? Gotcha! Be back soon with your order, bro!
I'm feeling rather blue today
Are the dress blue and black or white and gold?
That's a pretty hot mannequin on display....
(After being in the sun)
- I'm very hot
- Are you serious?
- Off course!
- Dude, are you going to seek vogue or Vanity fair now since you considering yourself hot? Haha!
In a game where one makes up words for the avatar of the post before them...
Curses to that Little Caesars mascot!! That was my job! Of course, the manager did catch me asleep a few times and stealing pizzas.
With new hope. Taco Bell, here I come!
Enjoying the results of my new floral shampoo "maybe she's born with it"
Your Avatar Here. ( )
"Here is the logo of the new Portia hats I am selling."
You should see the other half of my head.
"Hmmmmm, he's blue just like me!"
Honestly, though, have you seen this new power armor?
"Please put my created character in your visual novel!"
When I shift into... Maximum Overdrive!!!
I've got a ear ache. Yep that is serious!
Go ahead.
Make my day!
No TV. No internet. Gotta do something.
Darned pet squirrel. Gotta keep the pets out of the lab when mixing polyjuice potion!
Dear Doctor, I have a problem. I have this flower growing out of my ass.
Don't look at me. This entertainment center isn't gonna move itself!
Life is pretty rosy these days.
Hey! How's it goin'?
I hate walking across carpet.
It takes all day to get the static out of my fur and lay down smooth again.
Young women at mall kiosk :
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Older Gentleman:
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE YOUNG LADY??
Young Woman:
Sir, We are screening for hearing loss.
Older Gentleman:
WHAT DID YOU SAY???
Young Woman:
Sir, We are screen-ing for hear-ing loss!
Older Gentleman:
WHAT DID YOU SAY???
Young Woman:
We are giving free hearing test today Sir.
Older Gentle Man:
WHAT??? URINE TEST??? MAAM, WHY WOULD I WANT A FREE URINE TEST???
Guy:- I have so dirty mind.
Girlfriend:- Maybe I should brainwash you.
Quote from: Josefa on April 15, 2016, 11:48:41 AM
Young women at mall kiosk :
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Older Gentleman:
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE YOUNG LADY??
Young Woman:
Sir, We are screening for hearing loss.
Older Gentleman:
WHAT DID YOU SAY???
Young Woman:
Sir, We are screen-ing for hear-ing loss!
Older Gentleman:
WHAT DID YOU SAY???
Young Woman:
We are giving free hearing test today Sir.
Older Gentle Man:
WHAT??? URINE TEST??? MAAM, WHY WOULD I WANT A FREE URINE TEST???
"Anna, let it go, let it go! He didn't listening to you and then??? Let it go!!!"
So who stole my eraser?
I've got my eye on you.
Your fur is red
So beautiful
Like an angel in disguise
But if you meet
a friendly horse
Will you communicate by
mo-o-o-o-orse?
How will you speak to that
ho-o-o-o-orse?
What does the squirrel say?
Yeah I play in a band, I don't know if you've heard it, it's called "Three Days Grace"
What did you say about my nose?
What IS that, over there?!
Roses are red,
Violets are red,
Sunflowers are red.
Who murdered this person in my garden?
Love, Sarina!
Roses are gone,
Violets are gone,
Sunflowers are gone.
I never had a garden to begin with.
Love, Sarina!
"
If I move, this wall will fall down."
"Look at me-the new and improved Dashinator!"
The name is Rhodes, James Rhodes.
Does my skin look blue in this
Nothing can harm me as long as I have my purple bear here
Oh boy! :) The cowboy girl from Western is here. Don't mess with her, or she mess up your hair! She has a cowboy hat, not a rat.
As they approached the emerald mountain.......
The big bears gives each other a huge bear hug. :)
"Destroy the Marker, Issac! Wait, that's not the Marker....."
Not the droid you're looking for.
"Whoaaaaa! What's that down there?"