I guess one question Ihave is how will e effect how I feel about being a girl. I for what ever reason struggle to call myself a woman and use girl. Instead, then again I suppose I am only 20 so maybe I still have a little growing up to do.
I'm a girl
When I took estrogen, I went from feeling wrong to feeling right. I have good days and bad days just like everyone else. However I have more good days and better good days than before. I did have a brief rough patch where I swear I felt genderless. I can't explain it. I'm back to my female self again.
In the early days, I had trouble calling myself a girl while standing in front of the mirror, because that isn't what I saw. I always have been female inside and knew that. It's hard to explain, but I needed to see the right reflection before referring to myself as a girl came naturally. E does have a wonderful calming effect, and felt right.
I am a woman, but I'm also a girl, a chick, and a lady. :)
I think coming to feel comfortable about your female identity is part of the transition process. Both the physical and consciousness transformations take time. For me they occurred in jumps that corresponded to major events in my transition: starting HRT, going full-time, changing my legal name and gender, undergoing FFS, and now GRS. Nearing the end of my transition after 2 years, I have no sense of being a man anymore.
Hmm, I don't really think in terms of man/woman either. I think male/female and boy/girl. So I refer to myself as female and a girl. I really like t-girl too for whatever reason, lol. I've been on E for about 4.5 months now, and I'm 33 years young! Ugh, turning 34 in 3 months.... Hopefully have my SRS when I'm 35 at least! But anyways, off subject...
Your choice of moniker is up to you, whatever you're comfortable with. I also say Ladies Room instead of Girls Room, Little Girls Room, Women's Restroom, etc... for whatever reason.
I don't know if HRT makes me feel like a girl or not. I really have no idea how that's supposed to feel like. Neither do I have any idea what being a CIS male is supposed to feel like.
What HRT has done is helped me feel as one with myself.
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That's all anyone can ask for really. Normally I feel like I'm both but leaning twords female. I recently had a period where I felt no gender at all. I can't even remotely explain what that's like. I'm back to my dual female leaning self.
Quote from: kittenpower on November 01, 2015, 09:18:09 PM
I am a woman, but I'm also a girl, a chick, and a lady. :)
Tell it sister!
I'm on HRT for a while now, and I can't do it either. I do have some female feelings and much more so since HRT, but I'm presenting male and I think that's the main problem. I try not to worry about it. I know I need HRT so the rest doesn't really matter.
Quote from: Deborah on November 02, 2015, 02:53:15 PM
I don't know if HRT makes me feel like a girl or not. I really have no idea how that's supposed to feel like. Neither do I have any idea what being a CIS male is supposed to feel like.
What HRT has done is helped me feel as one with myself.
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I'm right with you Deborah - IMO: If you are really trans you can't feel like a cis male nor can you feel like a cis female. The hormones have removed the anxiety I experienced for so long related to the dysphoria. Now I'm just me.
I have been on estrogen for a very short time post surgical and I have noticed such an improvement even after a few weeks. About 2 weeks ago I was still getting feelings of sadness and thoughts of self-destruction. Those thoughts have gone and I am stable now, or appear so. I would not have believed it a while ago.
As for identification, I identified as a trans woman but now if anyone ever asks, I am just a woman, plain and simple.
Love,
Clare
There are a lot of reasonable ways to approach our gender identity. I raised a daughter and have lived with a woman and worked primarily with women during my career. No one is born a woman or a man but rather a baby. Through growth and maturity we may identify as a girl and that is where i started in my transition, as a girl. Now I do consider myself to be a trans woman but lady might be pushing it still... ;D
I always felt like a girl but we adapt to what we have and can work with eh?
I can accept myself for who I am. I have no idea how anyone else feels. Do I feel like a girl? I don't know. I feel like I'm a Cindi! And the squirrel does backflips!
;)
Cindi
*
I was 10 years post-op when I had an epiphany about my female identity.
I was on Summer vacation at Port Orford, Oregon. I got up one morning, drowsy, entered the bathroom, and was startled by a woman standing there. Then I realised that woman was my image in the mirror.
She is me. She IS me!
Yes! I really am a woman - female - 'girl' - and any other decent word for a then 36 year old adult human being of my sexually anatomic persuasion.
*
One of my excuses for not transitioning was that I never really felt like a girl, even though I wished I did and never identified as male. I therefore wondered if it would feel just as awkward to transition, despite my secret desire to be female. Now I know that so much of what it means to be a girl (nearly everything, in fact) is dependent on estrogen. It makes me more emotional, more social, and happier, in addition to causing nipple arousal; it's like a burst of positive female energy every time I get a dose! For the first time in my life, it gave me a clear sense of who I am. In fact, I had to come out just days after a dosage increase because it gave me such a strong female identity that I could no longer hide it. Still, I prefer not to think of myself as a woman, because to me that implies a level of maturity that I do not feel I have attained after only 14 months on HRT. I call myself 'transgender female'
All I know for sure is that I am not a man. I am also sure of the direction I am going (away from masculinity, towards femininity).
I identity as a transgender woman, not a woman. I do this because I can precisely define what it means to be a trans woman (rejecting my birth assignment) but I cannot precisely define what it means to be a woman.
I don't "feel" like a gender. My feelings are genderless. I have no idea what it means to "feel like a woman". I am starting to identity as a non-binary femme. Neither man nor woman but definitely femme.
Speaking for myself, I usually feel more feminine than masculine, yet outwardly I'm fully masculine. I've not begun my transition yet, I'm still trying to accept what I've always suspected but didn't want to believe. That I'm trans, and not in the right physical body.
I also have a hard time referring to myself as girl, woman or any feminine term, as I don't see it much in the mirror. I know in my head how I look & feel doesn't fit the mirror image.
I don't really think labels help, imo, just be you. Whatever or whomever you is.
For me, that's what I'm working on. Being me and the true me.
I feel like a girl in my sadness and vulnerability, in my excitement and my euphoria, in my hopes and dreams.
I feel like a woman when I deal with other women, and when I am conscious of my sensual expression and the power it brings.
I feel like a lady when I walk down the mall and see my reflection in the shop windows.
I feel like myself when I wake up, look at my body and my life, and realize what I have finally achieved.