October was a brutal month for me as a whole... Ever since my care providers told me to wait for HRT I've been trying to set goals for myself and coming out to my family step by step. At first when I came out to my mom when I had an emotional breakdown she thought I was stupid. She thinks I'm making the worst decision of my life and that no one will ever accept me including her. She cares more about my eight year old little brother and is now kicking me out of the house.
I'm both happy and sad because I've been waiting so long to be on my own and not under so much pressure to be the man my father was. Being on my own will allow me to transition without the emotional abuse my mother gives to me everyday. However, I'm still heartbroken because my mom doesn't accept me and doesn't love me enough to help.
I swear if it wasn't for this place I would be dead by now, but I'm still trying to be as optimistic as possible and have hope for a happy life as my true self.
To make this an actual discussion, have any of you guys been kicked out by an unaccepting family? What were some things you did that helped you stay stable once you were on your own?
I'm sorry to hear that.
I'm struggling to stay male even after coming out to my dad, afraid that he might kick me out because of his conservative and intolerant family.
I was older when it happened. I was taking care of my dad full time because he was bedridden and I wasn't going to let my siblings put him in a nursing home, like over my dead body which was literally true. Because of my older sister stealing a lot of money from my dad our lawyer set it up to have my younger sister have power of attorney and executor of his estate. I took care of him by myself because my family basically turned on me. When My dad passed My sister because she was the executor of the estate , just a house me and my dad lived in.had me evicted. I found a job and got and apartment and never looked back. Haven't talked to my family (if you call them that) in over 20 years.
I was living with my father when I came out and at first he (and his Girlfriend) were accepting.
About a week later we got into a massive fight because I didn't go out back to the yard and say hello when I got home from work.(yup that's what it was about ::) ) Ended with me being kicked out in the middle of the night. So began my year of couch surfing.
The worst part was we where working at the same place and he was friends with the boss. Strangely enough I was made redundant a week later, right smack in the middle of the rescission.
We actually do talk now if you'd believe that.
Quote from: Frae on November 09, 2015, 01:45:23 AM
I was living with my father when I came out and at first he (and his Girlfriend) were accepting.
About a week later we got into a massive fight because I didn't go out back to the yard and say hello when I got home from work.(yup that's what it was about ::) ) Ended with me being kicked out in the middle of the night. So began my year of couch surfing.
The worst part was we where working at the same place and he was friends with the boss. Strangely enough I was made redundant a week later, right smack in the middle of the rescission.
We actually do talk now if you'd believe that.
Gosh, how did you make couch surfing work for you? I was too poor to be able to keep living in my house, so I lost it. I couldn't go back home, due to the same thing we're all talking about, so I just... didn't live anywhere. It was strange how so many close friends and cousins suddenly couldn't help me when I needed a couch to sleep on for a night.
To the original poster, one night after work, I just HAD to go out and skate. So I went to this indoor bowl. Some friends let me in for free. Trying a scary trick on something bigger than I'd ever done, I fell on my head from six feet up. I spent the night in the hospital, and the next morning I found out my wrist was broken. That's how I ended up going home and just putting up with the abuse. And from time to time, I still do!
Quote from: MugwortPsychonaut on November 09, 2015, 08:51:30 AM
Gosh, how did you make couch surfing work for you? I was too poor to be able to keep living in my house, so I lost it. I couldn't go back home, due to the same thing we're all talking about, so I just... didn't live anywhere. It was strange how so many close friends and cousins suddenly couldn't help me when I needed a couch to sleep on for a night.
I'm really sorry to hear that :( I was just lucky to know a lot of good people. I stayed with my a friend at first for a couple of weeks, then another friends mum (who was effectively my second mother) let me stay in her spare room for a while. Stayed with my sister a bit. Then off to other friends couches for a while. I moved around lots trying not to overstay my welcome. (I no doubt failed! ;))
Funnily when I found a place I didn't stay there! I got a room in a boarding lodge in the "red light" district of town. But I hated / was afraid of the place (with good reason) and so I basically lived on the living room floor of my friends flat for another year! (and toooootaly out stayed my welcome!)
Eventually actually started living in the lodge and so began perhaps the most storied chapter of my life! The place got shot up with an assualt rifle, I got held up at knife point over a toaster, huge gang fights happened outside, Cannabis protesters turned up in the Cannabus, there where street parties, hookers, profesional boxers from America.... It was a very interesting place to live!
Yes, although I was married and living in my own house at the time so it wasn't as much of a hardship physically or financially.....but emotionally of course it was...and still is.
I talked to counselors, I wrote poetry, I blogged about it, etc. I also tried to surround myself with new friends that (back then in trans circles mostly) would be there for me and could relate to me. It helps to get caught up in your transition , you sometimes forget about the loss of the ignorant parents......but it always comes back, esp during the holidays.
I've made new families since then. Friends that became mothers and friends that became sisters.