Before I ask my question a quick backstory. I am in my early 30's. I have felt I was transgender since I was around 9 (Even though back then I didn't know what was going on till about 15). I have kept it in all this time and only recently told a family member after starting therapy ( I could not take it anymore). This has been on my mind everyday. Sometimes I would be walking down the street and see a women I would think to myself why could I not have just been born a women and would have to keep myself from crying.
It all seems pretty clear from my point of view that I am transgender and a lot more supports that I didn't put in the quick backstory. But here is my problem... I can't really talk about or listen to videos of others talking about these issues without getting somewhat aroused. This could be slight. There is nothing sexual or am I thinking about anything sexual. It just happens. I would feel weird bring this up to my therapist especially now, when I see my therapist next I have good news that after 20 something years I finally told my family how I feel. Now that my family has accepted me I want to transition but going forward this scares me. It makes me question everything. Any help would be appreciated.
Hi Snowsong,
My theory is that when you talk about or listen to videos of others talking about these issues, you become aroused because you are imagining being transitioned. I don't think this is anything to feel weird about, because imagining the things you would have, and thus how they could be used, seems to me a fundamental part of arousal.