So, I went out shopping today with one of my few friends (all cis girls) that know about me being trans (I'm currently pre everything, but have been building up to going out by dressing at hers).
It felt so natural and comfortable being in my girly clothes, but I was constantly aware of what everyone around me could be thinking, despite telling myself no one will notice or care about me! And I don't think anyone did, no one stared, no one said anything, even when I went and used the female loos (which, for some reason didn't feel odd to me either) no one batted an eyelid.
And, best of all, me and my friend got referred to as 'ladies' which just felt so good!
The outing had highlighted my existing worry about my voice though, whilst I can do it fine in private by myself I've never done it with anyone else present and it was such a struggle staying in my girl voice even with just my friend there in the car! So, I just stayed quiet while we were out. Something to work on before next time.
So, really I just wanted to share that, and show others it doesn't have to be as scary as I kept telling myself it would be for the last year!! Big step, finally taken :)
P x
That's great. I'd suggest you follow up this experience with more trips out as soon as possible. It allows you to build confidence in yourself and your appearance and offers opportunities to practice your voice.
exactly, there's nothing like experience in public to boost confidence.
Yay! Congrats! :) I remember when I first went shopping with my cis friends and how exhilarating it felt everytime "ladies" was used to refer to us. I definitely know how you're feeling right now!
Aw thanks for your support girls! Does mean a lot :)
I think it'll take a long time before I feel fully confident because I'm always thinking what other people could be thinking about me (whether in guy or girl mode) so I'm very aware of every part of my body. It doesn't bother me too much in guy mode, as I've had years of knowing how guys should act. But now I've got that same problem but not as much experience to know how to move/act in order to be portrayed as I now want to be. I do so envy those people that don't care what others think!
Was catching a look at myself walking in the shop windows though, and I'm pretty happy with the results! Do so love my legs in skinny jeans :P
But definitely want to get out again soon, at least now I don't have quite the same worry after doing it once and seeing nothing bad happening :)
*hugs*
P x
Congratulations and I know exactly how it feels to be seen for who you truly are - just a woman :)
xo
It seems such a simple thing, but means so much doesn't it :)