Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Hi Members,

My name's Rebecca and I wanted to introduce myself to this forum.  I'm a life-long older tgirl (51) who unfortunately is just now starting her journey.   I've been married and have kids,  one who is still in school and I'm sure like many others I've been hesitant to pursue this with school age children.   But its been difficult and I've decided to at least begin hrt and see how far I can go before the physical effects become apparent.   I am still living with my wife and she's supportive but understandably is no longer interested in a loving relationship.

There's so much to say and I have so many questions to ask,  but I think that's it for now.  I'd love to chat with others on this board.   I can IM or email.  I wish I could upload my photo but not sure how.   If interested to put a face to the name I have flickr or tumblr pages I'd be happy to share

Bye for now
-Rebecca

Hi Rebecca, welcome to Susan's. I can totally understand why you waited as long as you did. It's wonderful that your wife is supportive. Her response is common for man wives. You should have a descent amount of time before it becomes to apparent especially on low dose. I look forward to seeing you around the forums. Good luck and Hugs
Mariah

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Hi Mariah,

Thank you for the kind and supportive response.  I see you are much more advanced in your journey,  I'm so envious..  I look forward to seeing more of you on this forum and I'll try my best not to break any rules!   

- Rebecca

Hi Rebecca   welcome!

Hi Rebecca  :icon_wave:

Welcome to Susan's  :)  Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Hugs

V M

Hello Chrissy and VM.   Thank you for the warm reception! :-*

- Rebecca

Dear Rebecca;

Let me also add my welcome to Susan's Place!

As you can see, there are any number of people like yourself on here and you are certainly among friends here. You are not the only lady who is looking to find herself at a later stage in life. I began my journey when I was 58.

It is good your wife is supportive but I can understand her reluctance to have a loving relationship. It isn't that uncommon although inside you are the same person she fell in love with. Oh well, who knows, maybe in time?

Please feel free to ask any questions that you may have as there is bound to be others who can help answer them. Don't be afraid to ask anything either. By asking we learn and as I was told a long time ago, the only foolish question is the one that is never asked.

Take care and again, welcome.

Love,
Clare

Hi Clare,

Thank you for the sweet note,  its so wonderful to hear from another mature tgirl!  Honestly I feel so much more at ease already from just knowing there are others like you who have been through this.   I'm really looking forward to corresponding with everyone here, it feels like such a warm and welcoming site. 

And perhaps I should clarify since I mentioned her,  I don't expect my wife will change the way she feels,  nor should she. Clearly I am taking steps to fulfill my needs and I know she will need to do the same.  And if I proceed in the manner I feel I want to, we are just delaying what we know will come.

Anyway,  I've likely already shared more than anyone cares to know,  but I really do appreciate yours and the others notes.   Would love to chat sometime

Take care!
-Rebecca
   

Hello Rebecca and welcome to Susan's. I was fifty-six when I came out as transgender to my wife. It took time but she is accepting and supportive. My son and granddaughter are okay with it. I told my sister the other night. I'm going to tell my younger brother.

:)

Hi Gennee!

Thanks for the kind greeting.   Honestly I can't tell you how comforting it is to hear from you and others about coming out or transitioning as a mature tgirl.   You know you see all the pretty young girls posting online about transitioning in their 20s and you really start to think that you don't belong or your past your time.  But as you and others are helping me see,  thats definitely not the case.

I'm also so happy to hear you accepting your family and wife has been.  You seem so fortunate.  Would love to chat more sometime

Bye!
-Rebecca

Hi, great name   ;)

I am a bit younger, I will be 41 in February, also married and have two kids, one is 18 the other is just 2.  It is not easy with my wife who seems to change her opinion from time to time, sometimes she is very supportive,  right now she is in a "do whatever" phase which is almost impossible.

I think at some point I just got to a a state where I have to do this or I am going to burst   :)

Anyway I hope it all goes well..take care.

Hi Becca

Likewise!.:laugh:    And oh those days of having a two year old...  I know its easy to say now but I truly miss them!

Actually concerning your wife,  (and I didn't meant to make my post about mine),  I think my experience is similar.  Quite passive/aggressive.  One day she sympathetic and supportive, and another hurt, resentful and angry. But as I see it,  she is still trying to process all this and it will be a while before she is able to.   For me I've learned the best I can do is to let things go and give her the space to express her frustrations.   

Thanks for the note and I wish you the best

- Rebecca

Welcome Rebbeca. I'm 42 right now and i'm trying to start the journey too.

Add another one.

I'm 51 too. Just started therapy a year ago. Married for 25 years with a supportive wife and 3 girls. Only the wife and oldest know. I hope to be starting HRT in a month.

It is a bit overwhelming and can be like an obsessive condition. Good luck. Keep posting when/if you need to. If you want to touch base, feel free.

With warmth,

Joanna

Hi Joanna & Cloejade

Thank you for the posts.  Not that you were waiting but sorry for the late response,  seems like anymore I'm falling behind on everything.

Joanna,  would love to chat sometime.  Our circumstances seem so similar.   I still haven't figured out the best way of handling the situation with my kids.  They both are aware of of my circumstance as far as being tg,  but do not know any more then that.   My older one in college seems almost indifferent,  but I can tell my younger one who is still a teenager is struggling some but doesn't say anything which I know is not good.  Its making me wonder if I should put off moving forward a little longer. 

Anyway I wish you both the best and hope to correspond

- Rebecca

Rebecca,

PM me whenever you need to. I work in theater and sometimes the hours are weird and long but I will get back.

I find the truth of the world our kids are growing up in is typically more accepting than when we were that age. I don't know how progressive your school district is but there are support groups in many high schools. My oldest is a leader in the Gay/Strait Alliance(she has many friends on the spectrum both sexual and gender ID wise). They are open to trans kids as well. Perhaps there is a group at the school...? If so, it is easier for some teens to talk to their peers than their parents. The only problem I have run across is the teens think they have all the information but occasionally it is wrong or skewed. Is your youngest male or female? Compromise is good, but this does not go away. Eventually they will have to experience/work through this too.

I am one to talk. While my oldest knows, I have held off talking to the younger two(13 &15). I will tell them but am waiting a little(I suspect both will be wholly supportive- they are very much a trio and may be angry I didn't tell them when the oldest was informed). However, as parents, we have decided to hold off on them for another year. I told the oldest so when she comes back from college on breaks next year, it won't be a surprise.

I wish you luck, love and acceptance.

With warmth,

Joanna