So I've had gender disphoria my whole life, worse at different periods than others, but I've never really had genital disphoria. I've always thought "hey, a vagina would be nice" but I've never really hated my penis though. I've recently began my transition and have started dressing as a woman and acting as one. What I've found though, is the deeper into my transition I get, i developed genital disphoria and it has gotten worse. I look down now and just think "you don't fit, you're ruining everything!" I just wanted to know if anyone else has had this phenomenon happen to them? Is it common? Is there anything that helps ease this disphoria in particular?
My experience is that moving forward with transition can increase all kinds of disphoria. For the longest time I've had no trouble at all with the gender neutral section of my preexisting wardrobe. This morning I pulled a long sleeve t-shirt out of my winter weight drawer and started to pull it on. It had a lingering masculine smell that caused an immediate panic attack! I pulled it off crying and quickly replaced it with my most feminine t, even though that shirt is much too light for the weather. As I progress the remaining things bother me more and more. Before they were too minor to worry over.
Quote from: Jak of hearts on December 02, 2015, 02:35:55 AM"you don't fit, you're ruining everything!" I just wanted to know if anyone else has had this phenomenon happen to them? Is it common? Is there anything that helps ease this disphoria in particular?
I underwent SRS ASAP. Cured my Genital disphoria (transsexualism) on the spot!
Thank you,
Anne 302.50 (CCCII.L) Z87.890
Hello Jak!
Your situation isn't that unusual at all. When I began my transition I hadn't planned on having any surgery as I felt I could live with my genitalia. I didn't like the way my body looked but I accepted it. As I progressed further I became uncomfortable with the way I looked and eventually opted for GCS. Now just because I did, does not mean you will have to have it. It is a matter of acceptance of one's self and I couldn't seem to get over that.
I hope that this helps you feel better about the way you feel.
Love,
Clare
Quote from: Jak of hearts on December 02, 2015, 02:35:55 AM
I look down now and just think "you don't fit, you're ruining everything!" I just wanted to know if anyone else has had this phenomenon happen to them? Is it common? Is there anything that helps ease this disphoria in particular?
While I always despised Mr. Happy, it definitely got worse when I transitioned. It became unbearable.
Works the same way for guys, apparently. I've just about finished transitioning socially, been on hormones for about 20 months, and my dysphoria has increased big time over the past few months. Right now it's about my chest: what the HELL are those things doing there?! But I'm starting to notice more bottom dysphoria, as well. And I won't have access to surgery for either for a while.
My therapist tells me it's really common, but it sucks. I get angry, and I don't like that.
Yeah I've been dealing with this worsening genital dysphoria going on 5 years now. I'm like long overdo for surgery but I've learned how to cope with it for now. It's incredibly difficult at times :embarrassed:
I have a question about this topic. Why does the bottom dysphoria increase during the transistion and how common is it?
Quote from: Sebby Michelango on December 02, 2015, 02:31:57 PM
I have a question about this topic. Why does the bottom dysphoria increase during the transistion and how common is it?
I am going to stay out of this one. Don't want to get banned and sent to 'The Bad Girls Dormitory' again.
Thank you,
Anne (Confirmed Transsexual)
Quote from: OOAnne on December 02, 2015, 02:47:25 PM
I am going to stay out of this one. Don't want to get banned and sent to 'The Bad Girls Dormitory' again.
Thank you,
Anne (Confirmed Transsexual)
I don't get it why you risk being banned and labeled for replying at this questions. Is this a security rule or something?
I'll take a chance and say that a I became more female, my body didn't match my thoughts and feelings. As for how common, I couldn't venture a solid fact but will guess it's not unusual.
Love,
Clare
I've got to admit to this happening to me as well. At the moment it is still managable and lets hope it stays that way.
Sophie
I would guess as your brain changes to whom your are supposed to be, your expectations for yourself physically increase.
I have not noticed any aversion to "down there" and i am in a marriage in which that feature still get's regular exercise. (such that i am able). But i will say this, when i began my HRT and before that as i was slowly transitioning over the years, i always thought " bottom surgery is really cool, but i doubt i will go in that direction" , and now i am thinking " you know, i shouldn't be thinking never " :)
I have heard others express a similar change in sentiment.
I had very little genital dysphoria pre-everything. I disliked the parts I had and felt a disconnect from them, but I wasn't happy with the current bottom surgery options for FTMs (around 2007) so I put it aside. I knew I wanted top surgery and that I would probably want testosterone. I figured those, along with a hysterectomy, would complete my transition.
When I started testosterone I was thrilled with my progress. I booked top surgery as soon as I was able to pay for it. After I had it, I realized that there wasn't really anything left that I hated about my body - except a newfound dislike of my genitals. It was difficult to dissociate because I no longer had other things that I disliked more. As a result, I started researching bottom surgery options and preparing to undergo it.
For me, I ease the dysphoria by reminding myself that this is all only temporary. I have an appointment next week to get my first referral for surgery. Once I have a surgery date, it's all downhill from there. Or at least that's what I tell myself.
I am still pre HRT. However, after nearly a year of self discovery and small steps, I do experience stronger moments of dysphoria. The big difference now is I know what it comes from. I do think the further you progress in this journey, the bigger the reactions to the triggering aspects(hair, genitals, body structure).
I have a question about this topic. Why does the bottom dysphoria increase during the transistion and how common is it?
I think it is really common. As I just mentioned, I think when ticking off things to be taken care of, the biggest, mostly costly, or most symbolic areas are perceived more strongly.
I am still physically pretty early but think that is pretty accurate.
With warmth,
Joanna
Quote from: Joanna50 on December 09, 2015, 09:09:03 AM
I have a question about this topic. Why does the bottom dysphoria increase during the transistion and how common is it?
For me, my bottom dysphoria increased throughout my transition because I was running out of other things that caused me greater dysphoria. I hated my voice, lack of body hair, lack of facial hair, my chest, my hips, etc. To me, those were things that made it evident to the world that I was female. After a few months on HRT, the only thing still in the way was my chest. I had top surgery last April and pretty much as soon as I recovered, I started thinking about bottom surgery options because I no longer had anything else to take my mind off of how much I hated everything downstairs.
This^