I have feel an emptiness inside me for the last couple of weeks, I feel vulnerable and weak, I never thought I would feel this way, specially since I am finally the person I am supposed to be.
For 35 years I lived in the wrong body, finally 3 years ago I was strong enough to say "no more" and did the most difficult thing I will ever do in my life, I came out to my family and friends.
The first year was the most difficult one, but I felt secured and I knew it was the right thing to do, I hurt others and I was selfish (realistically a transition is a selfish move). It took me a year to go thru the transition, I changed my name and gender in the process, and got a new job as the new me in a place where nobody knew anything about my old self.
At that moment I was happy, I felt full, I felt that finally I would be me!, I felt that if I was able to go thru that type of transition I could do anything with my life.
But there was a problem, a catch, due to my transition I lost the person I loved the most, I lost my wife. Now we are really good friends, we still live together and we have a beautiful daughter, but I do not have somebody to hug or hug me back or somebody to hold me when I need him to.
After my transition I realized that I am attracted to guys, I have been out with a few of them, I even got in love with one, but as soon as I told him about my past he did not want to be with me anymore.
I am wondering, is love even possible for people like us? I cry myself to sleep thinking about a guy holding me and loving me, is that too much to ask for?
Quote from: mzaomz on December 03, 2015, 01:19:16 PM
I am wondering, is love even possible for people like us? I cry myself to sleep thinking about a guy holding me and loving me, is that too much to ask for?
Yes, it's possible. There are enough success stories of trans people finding love that I know it's not impossible. It can be difficult. And frustrating. And take some time. But if you have a winning personality then someone is bound to appreciate that regardless of your trans status.
I should mention that I met someone after my transition and we're in love but they're trans as well so that makes it easier, which is why many trans people end up dating other trans people.
We have to accept the reality that as trans women, it is a *little* bit more difficult for us to find love than cis women, but definitely not impossible. Finding love is already hard enough for anybody, trans or cis, so try not to blame what happened with this man on your gender identity. Men will find a plethora of reasons to want to discontinue dating somebody: they don't agree with the person's politics, religion, social background, personality, skills in bed, and for some women, their sexual and gender identity.
I went into transition fully prepared to be single most of my life. As a straight trans woman, I was convinced no straight man would be interested in me. However I told myself I would rather be a single woman if it meant being myself and not being with a person who loved and viewed me as the completely wrong gender.
I am currently in a committed relationship with a young straight male. But I had to go through hordes to find someone that not only was interested in dating me, but who I was interested in dating as well (remember---do not settle). I dated men who ended up being hateful transphobes and had nothing but mean things to say to me upon finding out my identity, I dated men who didn't have a problem dating me initially but backed out after a while because it got too "weird" for them, I unknowingly dated ->-bleeped-<-s who were only in on it because of my mismatched body, and I casually dated young straight males who weren't ->-bleeped-<-s but were genuinely curious about "experimenting" with me. And then I met my current boyfriend. I've been through it all. Finding the right guy wasn't easy, but the same holds true for any woman regardless of their identity.
Take solace in the fact that it is 2015 and for the most part, men have gotten more open-minded and generally more sexually fluid than they were decades ago. It seems you've only had experience with one male also, and were completely let down by this one experience. You will go through this more than once, or maybe your next date will be your soul mate, who knows? The fact is the love game is a tough one, regardless of identity, but is a game often worth the price.
Yes, it's possible to find someone to love.
I too lost the woman I loved very much. We're still friends and she reminds me of what we lost because of who I am but I can't go back even if I could.
There is a woman I love very much. Right now it's one sided but who knows? If she found love once with a woman, why can't we discover we love each other?
I will agree though that being trans, it is harder for us than cis women.
Love,
Clare
everyone is looking for someone
I hear you.
My gender therapist has been seeing trans people for nearly 30 years. Her claim is that the only relationships that last between trans women and cis men are ones where the man knew from the start that the woman was trans. So I make sure before we date that men know I'm trans.
I hold out hope that I will meet someone. I'm a decent catch, intelligent, interesting, energetic, adventurous. But haven't yet met the right person. I'm working on being OK with being by myself. On some days that goes better than others.
I often wonder but one guy who is interested in me knows my history. So I dunno if anything will come from that.
I think I'm a fairly decent catch. Attractive in an ordinary way, very family oriented, intelligent, and fun to be with.
Hi People
I myself have transitioned over the last 4 years and i knew that it is what I had to do. I lost my close partner as she did not want to be with another women. It has been a very hard road for me to and after SRS i have started to like men too. As you do know as soon as a man finds out you are trans they don't want anything to do with you. I get very lonely and spend a lot of nights crying myself to sleep. Then to top it off as most of us, our families have dropped most of us from the Thanksgiving and Christmas gatherings as they don't want to be embarrassed by our presents or have to try to explain anything about us. I want to find love in my life so much. Someone to hug and hold me as I want to hug and hold them too. Someone I can cook for and have fun with and I love to joke and laugh. I pray very day for this and I'm 58 years old. will i live long enough for this to ever happen. Who knows but even a close friend is a good start. I am Broken Hearted
Big Hugs to all
Lyndsey Marie Burke
Quote from: Lyndsey on December 03, 2015, 06:10:33 PM
Hi People
I myself have transitioned over the last 4 years and i knew that it is what I had to do. I lost my close partner as she did not want to be with another women. It has been a very hard road for me to and after SRS i have started to like men too. As you do know as soon as a man finds out you are trans they don't want anything to do with you. I get very lonely and spend a lot of nights crying myself to sleep. Then to top it off as most of us, our families have dropped most of us from the Thanksgiving and Christmas gatherings as they don't want to be embarrassed by our presents or have to try to explain anything about us. I want to find love in my life so much. Someone to hug and hold me as I want to hug and hold them too. Someone I can cook for and have fun with and I love to joke and laugh. I pray very day for this and I'm 58 years old. will i live long enough for this to ever happen. Who knows but even a close friend is a good start. I am Broken Hearted
Big Hugs to all
Lyndsey Marie Burke
You will :)
I'd say try to be someone who is fun to have around...
relax... be yourself...
and do a few things that bring you in contact with others...
there are cooking courses for singles for example...
or dancing lessons...
hugs
Thank You Laura
Got to keep my head up. Just very emotional today. I love this time of year and Hate being alone during it.
Hug's
Lyndsey
I think the possibilities for love have never been better for us. I had a nice relationship for many years before it went south. His excuse? "I'm a heterosexual man." and "I need a real woman."
I'm older now and it doesn't seem likely that I'll want to sacrifice my solitude to share with someone else. I'm not looking.
It can be heartbreaking, but life without love is better than some alternatives that come to mind.
Cindi
If Justin Bieber and Vaniity could hook up. We can find love.
Hi Cindi
I have to say I do agree with you in a lot of ways but I guess that I'm kind of a people pleaser and love my time with others. But you are right as I myself have lived alone for a lot of years and very set in my ways. I'm a bit of a neat freak as my daughter but i like to live and can clean up after a big putting my self. But I would;d still love to have a man in my life.
Hug's
Lyndsey
Quote from: Roni on December 03, 2015, 01:51:22 PM
We have to accept the reality that as trans women, it is a *little* bit more difficult for us to find love than cis women, but definitely not impossible. Finding love is already hard enough for anybody, trans or cis, so try not to blame what happened with this man on your gender identity. Men will find a plethora of reasons to want to discontinue dating somebody: they don't agree with the person's politics, religion, social background, personality, skills in bed, and for some women, their sexual and gender identity.
I went into transition fully prepared to be single most of my life. As a straight trans woman, I was convinced no straight man would be interested in me. However I told myself I would rather be a single woman if it meant being myself and not being with a person who loved and viewed me as the completely wrong gender.
I am currently in a committed relationship with a young straight male. But I had to go through hordes to find someone that not only was interested in dating me, but who I was interested in dating as well (remember---do not settle). I dated men who ended up being hateful transphobes and had nothing but mean things to say to me upon finding out my identity, I dated men who didn't have a problem dating me initially but backed out after a while because it got too "weird" for them, I unknowingly dated ->-bleeped-<-s who were only in on it because of my mismatched body, and I casually dated young straight males who weren't ->-bleeped-<-s but were genuinely curious about "experimenting" with me. And then I met my current boyfriend. I've been through it all. Finding the right guy wasn't easy, but the same holds true for any woman regardless of their identity.
Take solace in the fact that it is 2015 and for the most part, men have gotten more open-minded and generally more sexually fluid than they were decades ago. It seems you've only had experience with one male also, and were completely let down by this one experience. You will go through this more than once, or maybe your next date will be your soul mate, who knows? The fact is the love game is a tough one, regardless of identity, but is a game often worth the price.
In your case though, you're attractive and passable. That tends to override any doubts about dating a Trans woman.
But someone more mundane looking and not very passable will have a hard time.
Yes, non attractive cisgender women have trouble finding a partner as well but many of them seem to find one. We have to overcome the Trans baggage and stigma.
That said I think things have improved a lot. Janet mock just got married and I believe Keanu Reeves is dating a Trans woman. So very public examples of Trans-cis straight love seem to exist and that lends hope.
In my case I may be single the rest of my life once my current marriage ends. I'm fine with that. I was never one for relationships anyway. Never dated during my teens, met first wife online and that didn't work out so well. This current one was more of an enhanced friendship more than anything rather than what I see many people having in a marriage.
But then again I get a good deal of attention and one or two are persistent so I may not stay single for long.
It's weird today I was in a tech conference and one guy just couldn't stop talking to me, making silly small talk... Not my type though so I kind of just brushed him off after a while and went and got some snacks.
Quote from: iKate on December 03, 2015, 09:28:47 PM
In your case though, you're attractive and passable. That tends to override any doubts about dating a Trans woman.
But someone more mundane looking and not very passable will have a hard time.
Yes, non attractive cisgender women have trouble finding a partner as well but many of them seem to find one. We have to overcome the Trans baggage and stigma.
That said I think things have improved a lot. Janet mock just got married and I believe Keanu Reeves is dating a Trans woman. So very public examples of Trans-cis straight love seem to exist and that lends hope.
In my case I may be single the rest of my life once my current marriage ends. I'm fine with that. I was never one for relationships anyway. Never dated during my teens, met first wife online and that didn't work out so well. This current one was more of an enhanced friendship more than anything rather than what I see many people having in a marriage.
But then again I get a good deal of attention and one or two are persistent so I may not stay single for long.
It's weird today I was in a tech conference and one guy just couldn't stop talking to me, making silly small talk... Not my type though so I kind of just brushed him off after a while and went and got some snacks.
Whoah there... Her appearance doesn't negate her point. Being passable or pretty enough to hit a magical threshold doesn't make straight men not treat you like garbage because of any reason. I'd honestly argue that her ability to blend in is testament to how narrow minded and transphobic some people can be.
In my experience, I've dealt with a mixed bag of straight guys even after I was very straightforward about my status. Although my current boyfriend and I just became Facebook official, it took months of disappointment and frustration with the dating scene to find him and then another few months before making it to where we are today.
IMHO, although being trans necessitates us to communicate a lot off things before and be more open in general, it forces us to create honesty and trust much more than Hetero-cisnormative relationships that don't have to negotiate any of the same body boundaries nor require nearly as much communication. Being trans doesn't make things easy, but it doesn't preclude us from finding love any more than being left handed, having a particular hair or eye-color, or having staunch opinions.
Hugs,
- Katie
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as a transwoman madly in love and dating a transman myself
i can surely say yes love is possible
I've been with my husband for 8 years, and I only dated a handful of guys before I met him; it's partly luck, and being in the right place at the right time to meet the person you are meant to be with.
Hi all
I hope and pray every night that this world we live in will just have some peace. We all need to have someone to love and be loved by. Hopefully education to the world will bring peace to all transgender's all over the world. It makes it real hard when people have to judge you when it has nothing to do with them. To the strait cis women and men we are just as lovable as you. And need to be loved the same. The phobia of a man being with a transgender women is gay is not true. And the same thing for a women being with a transgender man that is not gay. That is why education is so important.
Big hug to all
Lyndsey
Lyndsey Marie Burke
FYI,
HA RISU AND MICKY JUNG CELEBRATE THEIR 7TH WEDDING ANNIVERSARY
http://koreaboo.tumblr.com/post/86310005848/ha-risu-and-micky-jung-celebrate-their-7th-wedding
barbie~~
Relationships are a difficult issue, I'm far from a social butterfly, and not the most confident person around, and am used to being alone. I also am not publically myself, so I never respond to, or take flirtation, or interest anywhere.
I've only had one serious relationship, and only because she worked hard, and initiated everything, and there wasn't a whole lot of risk involved, and me having to put myself out there, and worry about possible rejection. She did eventually get sick of me though...
I do worry that, I may make things even harder for myself if I limit my prospects, as it were, but my therapist said that potential prospects are not prospects at all if I don't put myself out there, and be confident, and myself. She thinks that I'd have a better change if I transition, if I' more social, confident, and happy.
I hope so.
Quote from: Obfuskatie on December 03, 2015, 10:11:18 PM
Whoah there... Her appearance doesn't negate her point. Being passable or pretty enough to hit a magical threshold doesn't make straight men not treat you like garbage because of any reason. I'd honestly argue that her ability to blend in is testament to how narrow minded and transphobic some people can be.
In my experience, I've dealt with a mixed bag of straight guys even after I was very straightforward about my status. Although my current boyfriend and I just became Facebook official, it took months of disappointment and frustration with the dating scene to find him and then another few months before making it to where we are today.
IMHO, although being trans necessitates us to communicate a lot off things before and be more open in general, it forces us to create honesty and trust much more than Hetero-cisnormative relationships that don't have to negotiate any of the same body boundaries nor require nearly as much communication. Being trans doesn't make things easy, but it doesn't preclude us from finding love any more than being left handed, having a particular hair or eye-color, or having staunch opinions.
Hugs,
- Katie
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
My point only was that it's easier when you are attractive. Yes that is true for cis women but for Trans women it seems to be a necessity.
If you don't pass and aren't attractive you will either get Trans attracted people or gay men who view you as a man. I'm not interested in either (the former, maybe but not the latter). That is also true for things like employment and daily life, but seems to be severely amplified for Trans women.
But she makes a lot of valid points, like don't settle, and you'll kiss a lot of frogs before you find a prince. But I don't think it is as easy for many women who don't pass and aren't that attractive. That's just how dating is as a woman but it is also amplified by being Trans.
Some guys also want kids and a family so that can be a roadblock with them since we can't (yet) sexually reproduce.
Quote from: iKate on December 04, 2015, 04:31:37 AM
My point only was that it's easier when you are attractive. Yes that is true for cis women but for Trans women it seems to be a necessity.
If you don't pass and aren't attractive you will either get Trans attracted people or gay men who view you as a man. I'm not interested in either (the former, maybe but not the latter). That is also true for things like employment and daily life, but seems to be severely amplified for Trans women.
But she makes a lot of valid points, like don't settle, and you'll kiss a lot of frogs before you find a prince. But I don't think it is as easy for many women who don't pass and aren't that attractive. That's just how dating is as a woman but it is also amplified by being Trans.
Some guys also want kids and a family so that can be a roadblock with them since we can't (yet) sexually reproduce.
It may seem that way, but I don't believe it is. I think trans people who make it through some pivotal stages in their transition are usually much more kind and happy and generous than other people. With confidence in who you are, you tend to become a compelling person to others. Beauty on the outside is fleeting, and I don't think it makes people better adjusted or more appealing to cis people.
Life can be easier for attractive, wealthy, straight, tall, ethnic majority, male people. And the difference between attractiveness and the other items in that list is that it's immeasurable and subjective. Passing in and of itself is rooted in negative connotations of deception, which is why I prefer to use blending and I don't believe you have to be conventionally attractive to blend in. In some ways I think the more attractive you are, the less able you are to blend in because it attracts more attention and scrutiny.
The beauty standard of every culture tends to favor a minority of women. In American culture we have competing standards that almost require body modification to attain the Kardashian hourglass figure or the tall thin buxom blonde. Misogyny is the culprit when it comes to beauty standards, trans-misogyny is the culprit when it comes to the surgical emphasis on our trans population.
I've never met a gay man that was into my boobs, and I think you may be attributing attention from bi-guys that are out in the gay community. ->-bleeped-<-s and the curious are sometimes initially interested because of our trans-ness, but any relationship you build after meeting them necessitates a personal and vested interest beyond your body. We all have to communicate a lot more initially in the relationship to make sure our partners are on the same page as us, but that can be a blessing in disguise and lead us to more fulfilling relationships in general.
Did you know that ~55% of married trans people stay with their partner through their transition? I just heard the statistic from Parker Molloy on Dan Savage's Lovecast. That statistic is way higher than the national average that cis people are pulling down.
Hugs,
- Katie
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How many who stay with their partners are intimate though? I don't know what that statistic is but I'm betting the number isn't very high. For example I'm still married but there is no touching at all. She doesn't want it and neither do I. Eventually I see us getting divorced. The only thing keeping us under the same roof is the kids.
Quote from: Elsa Delyth on December 04, 2015, 03:32:23 AM
Relationships are a difficult issue, I'm far from a social butterfly, and not the most confident person around, and am used to being alone. I also am not publically myself, so I never respond to, or take flirtation, or interest anywhere.
I've only had one serious relationship, and only because she worked hard, and initiated everything, and there wasn't a whole lot of risk involved, and me having to put myself out there, and worry about possible rejection. She did eventually get sick of me though...
I do worry that, I may make things even harder for myself if I limit my prospects, as it were, but my therapist said that potential prospects are not prospects at all if I don't put myself out there, and be confident, and myself. She thinks that I'd have a better change if I transition, if I' more social, confident, and happy.
I hope so.
Hi sweetie
I have to say that your therapist is right on. After i transitioned it was a new game for me. When i had my male parts i was a striate heterosexual man and after my surgery I have been a lot more attracted to men. I will say you never know till it happens. Right now I have been seeing someone for a few weeks and he completely knows everything about me as he did from a friend before he met me. We have hit things off on a great start but I don't count anything till time goes by.He really seam very sincere to me at this time and things are great. If it is truly what you want to completely transition and you feel that it is right than you will be happier on the other side.If at all you are unsure of your self than definitely wait. always remember if you have SRS it is irreversible. I do know that I'm so much happier than ever in my life after SRS.
Big Hugs
Lyndsey
It is possible. I am married to a beautiful cis woman. It's not easy. But life never is, for anybody.
IT's true that being pretty helps, like someone said above. But one can be pretty in many ways, not necessarily phisically atractive. It depends on the kind of partner that you want for you I guess.
Quote from: iKate on December 04, 2015, 04:31:37 AM
My point only was that it's easier when you are attractive. Yes that is true for cis women but for Trans women it seems to be a necessity.
If you don't pass and aren't attractive you will either get Trans attracted people or gay men who view you as a man. I'm not interested in either (the former, maybe but not the latter). That is also true for things like employment and daily life, but seems to be severely amplified for Trans women.
But she makes a lot of valid points, like don't settle, and you'll kiss a lot of frogs before you find a prince. But I don't think it is as easy for many women who don't pass and aren't that attractive. That's just how dating is as a woman but it is also amplified by being Trans.
Some guys also want kids and a family so that can be a roadblock with them since we can't (yet) sexually reproduce.
Or look very blow up doll and exgerrated features. Some guys like look... But rarely love... But its better to be sexually beautiful than to be non passable (given those two options). Huge implants, injections, pounds of make up, revealing dresses....
Looks matter. Especially to men.
I put on Retin A and sunscreen nearly daily for to preserve my youth... Youth is my weapon of my looks at this point... I blend in with the 18-21 crowd with ease. My eyes are my everything... Without it I have a potatoe face... (pudgy nose.. No define features); my body is shapely but is like a potatoe in big clothing.
But I want to be 26 at 40 and 35 at 50... And end up looking like a Mamie Van Doren.
Not to sound jaded but I am also prepared to be single for the rest of my life. I just try to enjoy my journey and not worry if he comes along or not. I just focus on me and how can I improve the things I can. I noticed I am getting attention. However, I am also worried that once they know my status then they will just leave and run as fast as they can.
Be happy and love yourself so you can attract the love that's meant for you. There's a lid for every pot.
Hugs!
Quote from: April_TO on December 04, 2015, 08:30:33 AM
Not to sound jaded but I am also prepared to be single for the rest of my life. I just try to enjoy my journey and not worry if he comes along or not. I just focus on me and how can I improve the things I can. I noticed I am getting attention. However, I am also worried that once they know my status then they will just leave and run as fast as they can.
Be happy and love yourself so you can attract the love that's meant for you. There's a lid for every pot.
Hugs!
Take this as a grain of salt. But if I was you..
i would have hot men dating me everyday.
You dont have to be a supermodel as a female... Just very pretty.
Youre pretty in a feminine ingenue way. (like Audrey Hepburn... You dont look like her but like in that category)
As women... We hold the ropes to men hearts and souls. I know that I can get 70% of the gay/bi/top/heavier than me population out there.
Quote from: Lyndsey on December 04, 2015, 07:43:22 AM
Hi sweetie
I have to say that your therapist is right on. After i transitioned it was a new game for me. When i had my male parts i was a striate heterosexual man and after my surgery I have been a lot more attracted to men. I will say you never know till it happens. Right now I have been seeing someone for a few weeks and he completely knows everything about me as he did from a friend before he met me. We have hit things off on a great start but I don't count anything till time goes by.He really seam very sincere to me at this time and things are great. If it is truly what you want to completely transition and you feel that it is right than you will be happier on the other side.If at all you are unsure of your self than definitely wait. always remember if you have SRS it is irreversible. I do know that I'm so much happier than ever in my life after SRS.
Big Hugs
Lyndsey
I'm not sure if I'll get GRS or not, maybe sometime, kind of worrying about things one step at a time. I am not completely dismissing the idea, but I doubt that my sexuality will change.
I worry about the nerve, and if my life will be more dangerous, or traumatic if I transitioned, but I don't really have personal doubts about it, and the roles are always reversible, which is really all that's significant to me.
If you get SRS it is not reversible
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I agree with Wild flower!!!
And I didn't think I could ever like men but that took a big change after surgery. And as for sexual feeling down below it is awesome to say the least
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I agree with her too
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Quote from: Lyndsey on December 04, 2015, 08:51:20 AM
And I didn't think I could ever like men but that took a big change after surgery. And as for sexual feeling down below it is awesome to say the least
I had a mild attraction to some guys but after transitioning and setting myself free it is completely in overdrive now.
The feeling I get when a guy tries to woo me is even better than I had when I was dating girls. I feel pretty much the same way, just more intense. The butterflies, warm glow and everything.
For sure! I never in a million year would have though that but all I can say is WOW!! It is wonderful
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Love is only possible when it's in your heart. You have to be open to it to receive it. It happens for everyone in due course. Just don't let life make you callus before it happens. A bitter soul is the least attractive quality. Stay happy in your life and that will shine through to the right person. :)
After surgery I became a much softer and relaxed and happy woman it has made a few change for me in all for the better I am very much happier in my life than I ever had and I only wish no matter what anybody has for decision that it is what they truly want to do the sauce and not be pushed by anybody else that is what's so nice about these four room decision that it is what they truly want to do the sauce and not be pushed by anybody else that is what's so nice about these forums you can certainly get a lot of different opinions which is nice
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It can and does happen. You just cannot allow yourself to get caught up in wanting a man so much that it rules your life. Just be comfortable with yourself and confident and live your daily life. Trust me, it will happen when you least expect it. As they get older, men tend to look for things in women that are not all centered around their beauty. If you project confidence, dress appropriately and handle yourself like a lady you will attract more eyes than you can imagine........and those eyes will, for the most part, be from men that are mature and that you will very much want to be with for all of the right reasons. In short, those qualities that I just mentioned will far outweigh the fact that you got to your womanhood in what is seen as a rather unorthodox manner. I have friends who are in terrific relationships with men, some of which are married, and they get on just as any traditional male/cis female would. AGain, get comfortable with yourself.....go about your life in a proper ladylike manner and good things will seek you out!
Thanks Wild Flower, I genuinely appreciate your feedback. Here's to 2016 to all of us who are still looking for Mr. Right. I'm sure he is looking for us and we just need to find another.
Thinking about it makes me excited :icon_chick:
Hugs
Quote from: Wild Flower on December 04, 2015, 08:33:51 AM
Take this as a grain of salt. But if I was you..
i would have hot men dating me everyday.
You dont have to be a supermodel as a female... Just very pretty.
Youre pretty in a feminine ingenue way. (like Audrey Hepburn... You dont look like her but like in that category)
As women... We hold the ropes to men hearts and souls. I know that I can get 70% of the gay/bi/top/heavier than me population out there.
Quote from: Wild Flower on December 04, 2015, 08:28:38 AM
Or look very blow up doll and exgerrated features. Some guys like look... But rarely love... But its better to be sexually beautiful than to be non passable (given those two options). Huge implants, injections, pounds of make up, revealing dresses....
Looks matter. Especially to men.
Oh dear that sounds like some kind of horror film to me. It's like, nope after nope after nope.
But then, I've always been a les gurl so I wouldn't really know what men are atracted to.
I'd personally prefer to develop a great personality and an interesting mind. I've always been atracted to intelligent people. The way to my heart is definitely through my mind. I know I am not the only one out there.
If I were back in the dating game, i'd much rather date someone interesting AND ugly than atractive and uninteresting (given those two options)
I don't believe that; I mean it sounds good on paper, but there has to be something physically attractive about someone before you find out about their personality and intelligence.
Quote from: kittenpower on December 04, 2015, 03:05:18 PM
I don't believe that; I mean it sounds good on paper, but there has to be something physically attractive about someone before you find out about their personality and intelligence.
I'd disagree...
there are people who have an aura...
of confidence or niceness or whatever...
and its not necessarily connected with outer beauty...
hugs
Quote from: clarabrown on December 04, 2015, 01:08:42 PM
Oh dear that sounds like some kind of horror film to me. It's like, nope after nope after nope.
But then, I've always been a les gurl so I wouldn't really know what men are atracted to.
I'd personally prefer to develop a great personality and an interesting mind. I've always been atracted to intelligent people. The way to my heart is definitely through my mind. I know I am not the only one out there.
If I were back in the dating game, i'd much rather date someone interesting AND ugly than atractive and uninteresting (given those two options)
Fetishes are what drive men crazy. You give a breast-man a woman with Gsize bra and he will go bonkers. Give a guy a Nicki Minaj or Kim Kardashian booty and hell go crazy...huge fish lips might work too... Youre 6'3... Then youre a dominatrix.
Or go Dolly Parton. Or Pamela Anderson...
......
This is all more attractive to a guy than a homely nonpassable transgender woman.. At least in numbers.
A homely girl works with a fetish and shell get that man over a pretty girl who doesnt work it. A guy who likes fat women... Wants a huge woman. Feet fetish.
And yes... Theres a trans fetish too
To a lot of guys.... This hot
http://gistfactory.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/T5.png
And this too (and age group yes)
http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2013/08/20/article-2397843-1B604F9C000005DC-486_306x556.jpg
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Oh... im trying say this is what guys want.... But an UGLY/homely female who works with a fetish... Will beat a pretty girl any day of the week to a guy who loves that fetish. Supply/Demand. There are more booty-lover men than women with Nicki Minaj booty... Im general. Work with the fetish.
Nicki Minaj is not a real beauty... Nor is Pamela Anderson at her peak... Under the make up and all. Hocus Pocus will win the day.
But im not 6'3'' im tiny lol :D interesting!! They look plain creepy to me but each to their own i guess [emoji23]
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Quote from: clarabrown on December 04, 2015, 09:29:03 PM
But im not 6'3'' im tiny lol :D interesting. Ill check that out
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Lol I didnt meant you... i meant ' if youre 6'3...' in general talk... Thats what a guy wants.
I play with fetishes a bit... Even with straight guys, its like the words drip out of my mouth and a guy will sit there and babble about houchie women. Ill just brush against the subject.
This is also why we have ->-bleeped-<- ->-bleeped-<-s in this community... Another fetish.
But never expose it all..... A one unbotton tight shirt, or swinging your legs over but the dress went up to high **accidentally** or have the feeling of fear/humiliation works wonders on a guy. The dumb blonde persona... A guy wants to feel alpha and powerful... Hes sees a desperate helpless woman and shell do it too him.
Quote from: Wild Flower on December 04, 2015, 09:33:06 PM
I play with fetishes a bit... Even with straight guys, its like the words drip out of my mouth and a guy will sit there and babble about houchie women. Ill just brush against the subject.
Haha interesting!!
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