I hardly correct people's misgendering because I can't make them say male since to their binary eyes, I don't look like a typical male (nor a female for that matter) so to cut it short without giving personal details,
I am in a situation where I got referred to as Ms. in an email after meeting the person face to face about something. (By the way, I am already legally male despite 'not looking like a believable one' since fitting in to 'pass' was not my intention to begin with) So I feel like correcting this matter but at the same time I don't want it to look unnatural.
Another person at the same place already refers me as a 'he' but like I stated in my previous posts, my passing depends on the person's perception of what a male and a female is. So it's always fluid with me.
Can I simply say "I am a man" EVEN THOUGH I don't at all look believable. I mean of course they're not going to believe me. If anything, they will 'take my word for it' out of respect and 'accept' BUT the #1 thing I don't want is people questioning me further and the biggest no no would be them mentioning the word 'transgender'.
Quote from: makipu on December 12, 2015, 03:43:17 PM
Can I simply say "I am a man" EVEN THOUGH I don't at all look believable.
Of course. You are a man. You are entitled to inform people of your gender if you think they need to know.
VERY IMPORTANT: There is no minimum standard of appearance to be a man. If you are a man, you are a man, regardless of what people think you look like.
Quote from: makipu on December 12, 2015, 03:43:17 PM
I mean of course they're not going to believe me. If anything, they will 'take my word for it' out of respect and 'accept' BUT the #1 thing I don't want is people questioning me further and the biggest no no would be them mentioning the word 'transgender'.
If they respect you, they will of course refer to you correctly. If they don't, they are rude and boorish.
There is nothing shameful about being transgender. We've endured hardships other can't even understand. Being trans can be a source of pride.
Of course you can. I've done the same (in the opposite direction), sporting a visible five o'clock shadow and no makeup (too poor). What has changed since then? Well, I wear make-up and kind of cover the beard shadow, and I still expect people to gender me correctly and correct them when they don't.
Most of the time no explanation is needed, everything is clear enough. When it is needed, when I've felt the person wouldn't understand transsexuality I've said I have a hormonal and/or genetic disorder (which the way I see transsexuality is true, it's the physical part that's wrong, not the mind), and that has been it. Maybe that would work for you. Probably even better than for me. I think people have an easier time getting a non-passing male, since a lack of facial hair and delicate features are characteristics of pre puberty cis males as well. You've said you don't look like a typical female, so I'm assuming the rest of the body is not an issue.
Maybe when you reply in the email sign off as MR Your Name...
So I did end up saying straight up in the message "By the way, I am a man" in the beginning to get the stress out of my way and went on with my questions. Now after almost a week later, I get no response. I wouldn't be surprised if it was about my gender correction.
hey, if they do question you and it's already legal, just ask them if they'd like to see your ID! or to ask the person who already calls you "he". men come in all shapes and sizes, and that doesn't just go for transmen, so if they can't accept it at that point, it's more on them than you.
that doesn't mean there won't still be people who can't/won't, even with evidence. unfortunately, some people are just rude like that. hopefully this one was busy and not outright ignoring you. i'd contact them again if a week has passed to ask if they received my message.
Quote from: Ms Grace on December 12, 2015, 04:03:55 PM
Maybe when you reply in the email sign off as MR Your Name...
I like this approach myself... subtlety correcting them I think works better. As for no response, they could be embarrassed thinking they said Ms. to an effeminate male, or misgendered a Trans person. Kinda the way someone might be embarrassed saying Mr. to a masculine cis female.
Hi:
I like your approach and it's one I use. I'd suggest you tactfully let the person know that you are 'known' and live as a male and let it go at that. It'll serve little purpose to make anything more out this and creating embarrassment, anger, anxiety, etc. doesn't sound like something you want to create - a good move I think at this time.
The key is to be succinct and tactful, as the person you are communicating with didn't create this confusion nor is there anything wrong that confusion might exist. Life happens . . .
I hope that helps . . .
Take good care,
Rachel
I am certainly not surprised by the way people are hence why I don't want to get involved with people but sometimes I need to work with people solely for business purposes such as this one but I have yet to hear from them. I am not going to make a big deal but it's awfully messed up for people to differentiate just because I am male. I did wonder what they were thinking inside their ignorant heads though. I would never want anyone to know me as and FTM because I have personal issues towards that but I would be completely fine if them (or anyone for that matter) to read me as a bio male who simply doesn't conform the stereotypes of how a male should look like.