Has your social life changed at all since the actual start of transition. The taking of hormones and living properly or just living in proper attire without necessarily stating hormones. Has friends changed much or dating or parties or other social activities. For me it's just more of willingness to think of doing things. For a long time I just shut myself away and worked on things that I'm planning on publishing at some point. I never did anything socially except working . I'm making plans to break free of the solitude a lot more often. I still haven't conquered the social dilemma , but I'm far more closer than I was pre HRT. It's a quite different realm to continuously present female. My social life isn't much , but I have far more hope than I ever did. I needed to cut all past ties with people because it just didn't give me the freedom I needed to create a new life.
I'm more outgoing and I am once again hanging out more with women than men.
I'm a vert... neither introvert nor extrovert. I enjoy social outings but only in the right circumstances and only so much of it. Sometimes it feels like I don't have enough, sometimes it feels like too much. I was like that pre HRT and transition...and while I still am, I do find myself a lot more social than before. Unbelievably for me, I have even instigated some of those outings too, including most recently a dinner with seven women I used to work with. It was an awesome evening. I still have some guys in my social circles but increasingly it is women - both cis and trans - who I hang with.
sounds good. That's what I'd like to get back to, I use to have a group of girls I hung out with. I cant do the all guy thing anymore iit just wouldn't make sense.
Mine still consists of solitude, I did a girls nite with my wifes friends, but so far thats it. Im more open to doing things, but frustrated that I wont do it as Rita.... that Im working on... but we all know how that feels
The amount of socializing hasn't changed, but I'm much more willing to make a fool out of myself in public now. I was too worried about self-image before.
Quote from: Emileeeee on December 18, 2015, 05:08:46 PM
The amount of socializing hasn't changed, but I'm much more willing to make a fool out of myself in public now. I was too worried about self-image before.
***rubs up against Emileeeee*** can some of that rub off on me.... please? ::)
I've always been most comfortable in the company of women and with women as friends.
Now, being with me seems natural with them too. Everything just falls into place. When I go to a social gathering, I hang out with the women and everything is as it should be. I can make social overtures toward women I want to be friends with and not sound like I'm asking to have an affair.
I have to bat my social life away these days. Pre-HRT I never had trouble making friends but I was much more introverted and quiet. Now I've become more extroverted, talkative, etc. But I'm still an introvert at heart, so I enjoy my alone time when I get it, but I feel I have to really make time for that now because I have a lot of friends and a lot of people that want to be my friend (or more). It's a bit frustrating really... and I almost feel obligated, not only to others but to myself to get out of the house sometimes, because I can. And another thing is, now that I know I'm attractive, comfortable in my own skin (for the most part), and that I get attention from a wide variety of people, my confidence has gone way up. And even more than that, I've gotten attention from quite a few people that I would have previously thought were out of my league. Now I realize that all that has just dissolved. People are just people to me now. I can get along with almost anyone, talking to people is easy, and I don't feel that anyone is really above me anymore. It's made me a lot more sure of myself and more likely to speak my mind. If people disagree with me, tough. I don't feel like walking on egg shells for most people anymore, and I'm not afraid to lose 'friends' (not close friends anyway) because I know it won't leave me friendless. It's a good place for me now, because I want to start a business and I'm going to have to be tough and confident in my professional dealings, and I feel like I can actually deal with people when I need to. Still, there are times I get anxiety, or just don't want to talk to people.. times when I stress about my appearance out in public, or when I notice people looking at me. Not because of passability concerns, but just being noticed, almost like I have a spotlight on me sometimes. I'm sure it's just my own paranoia and crazy brain, lol. Something I still have to work on... Again, I don't care much what people think, but I care what I think.. :/
Yep. I used to be a complete introvert. Playing computer games, etc.
When I came out, I wanted to GET OUT and be seen for who I was. I was much more active and made new friends.
Old friend circles went away and new ones appeared. Over the years, those circles have faded and new ones have appeared even still. Kinda funny how life changes in general, even after transition.
Nowadays I find a happy medium between introvert and extrovert. I like both my alone time and my out and about time.
Pre transition social life was a big zero.
Now? I'm thinking of employing a social secretary to handle it.
I'm loving it! Even if I don't have enough time for my commitments.
I know I haven't achieved it yet , but I definitely sense the possibility whereas before the yellow brick road there was just an endless falling into a black abyss . I even had a bad knightmare about it right before I started HRT , I falling and trying to reach out for anyone's hand , but there was no one. Now it's so much different where the circle of people is expanding like the story Buddha tells of the stone thrown into the pond and the ever expanding rings reaching out and touching
I had the ability to have a social life before, but chose not to pursue it. Now I'm to busy for my own good. Social circle has certainly changed a couple times. Hugs
Mariah
I used to be more readily accepted by people. I used to look a bit odd, but an amount that people didn't react to. I notice people avoiding looking at me, being less welcoming. I've noticed people observe my presence and try to play off like they didn't. I've become a little more introverted than before. Perhaps all of the above is anxiety. People are nice when I approach them... I just feel like I have to do more approaching now.
Quote from: RitaChans on December 18, 2015, 05:24:43 PM
Quote from: Emileeeee
... I'm much more willing to make a fool out of myself in public now.
***rubs up against Emileeeee*** can some of that rub off on me.... please? ::)
Well, there's a start... ;)
Quote from: stephaniec on December 19, 2015, 01:20:49 AM
I know I haven't achieved it yet , but I definitely sense the possibility whereas before the yellow brick road there was just an endless falling into a black abyss . I even had a bad knightmare about it right before I started HRT , I falling and trying to reach out for anyone's hand , but there was no one. Now it's so much different where the circle of people is expanding like the story Buddha tells of the stone thrown into the pond and the ever expanding rings reaching out and touching
But now you are talking about relationships and have strong relationships with many of us!
Now that isn't that a big improvement?
yes it is , honestly I had no one. for a very long time other than my beautiful Belgium German Shepard that protected me.
Quote from: stephaniec on December 19, 2015, 01:43:53 AM
yes it is , honestly I had no one. for a very long time other than my beautiful Belgium German Shepard that protected me.
And now you reach out and support and offer love to others. Stephanie you are a pretty remarkable woman. And my life, and those of many others, are enriched by knowing you.
thanks
Total opposite from pre-hrt to the female me...
In the dark days when I was still a guy. I was very quiet and was not very sociable. I did not really worry about my looks and did not have really any friends.
Now... i am an outgoing woman, life of the party. I spend way to much time grooming myself and making sure my outfit is perfect. I have a close circle of "girl friends". I also have a wonderful boyfriend.
A group of us have been going out for drinks two nights a week, we've been doing this for many years. We always end up with the guys on one corner of the bar and the girls on the other corner. I never really talked very much, I guess I was just kind of there.
After coming out to them all a couple of months ago I've mostly moved over to the girls corner.
I don't know if its the hormones or a combination of that and finally getting my "secret" out in the open, but I talk now. Sometimes they can't shut me up! I'm definitely having a lot more fun and really look forward to our nights out. My friends say they have seen a good change in me.
I can't wait to start appearing as Charley.
Girls trust me more and talk with me more often :-*
I was already last in male social hierarchy but it seems i've dropped a few more notches even more.
Quote from: Charley on December 19, 2015, 09:30:14 AM
A group of us have been going out for drinks two nights a week, we've been doing this for many years. We always end up with the guys on one corner of the bar and the girls on the other corner. I never really talked very much, I guess I was just kind of there.
After coming out to them all a couple of months ago I've mostly moved over to the girls corner.
I don't know if its the hormones or a combination of that and finally getting my "secret" out in the open, but I talk now. Sometimes they can't shut me up! I'm definitely having a lot more fun and really look forward to our nights out. My friends say they have seen a good change in me.
I can't wait to start appearing as Charley.
that's good
Since transitioning, my social life has become infinitely better. I have more friends, especially closer, more sincere ones, and I find myself going out and doing things far more often. It's fantastic! :)
Quote from: in.Chains on December 19, 2015, 10:21:38 PM
Since transitioning, my social life has become infinitely better. I have more friends, especially closer, more sincere ones, and I find myself going out and doing things far more often. It's fantastic! :)
double good
Quote from: suzifrommd on December 18, 2015, 05:40:23 PM
I can make social overtures toward women I want to be friends with and not sound like I'm asking to have an affair.
I totally know what you mean here. It was so hard to get close on a social level without it seeming like I was hot for them or trying it on or something. I was able to form reasonable social and platonic friendships but since I've transitioned I've found the bonds with my female friends has gotten stronger - definitely wouldn't have happened if I was still a "guy".
Quote from: Ms Grace on December 20, 2015, 02:02:56 AM
I totally know what you mean here. It was so hard to get close on a social level without it seeming like I was hot for them or trying it on or something. I was able to form reasonable social and platonic friendships but since I've transitioned I've found the bonds with my female friends has gotten stronger - definitely wouldn't have happened if I was still a "guy".
Heh... this is quite true. Socializing with other women is totally different now. Like, I could see someone looking at me and leaving their kids with me for a moment. It's a bit strange, though nice that I can watch kids out in public without it being weird or creepy. The other day I was in a restaurant and playing with a baby sitting near me. Nothing wrong with it and her parents just smiled and encouraged it. As a guy? It'd just be weird and awkard at best... An unfair double-standard for sure, but I'm glad I'm on the other side of it now. Other women also talk to me easily, though that can have it's drawbacks. I don't need to hear some lady I don't know going on about her life story while I'm ordering a coffee, lol. Complimenting each other randomly is nice though. However, there's the other side of it all, like when I WANT to come across as flirty! All like 'Hey you're lookin' goood..
homo intended..' :laugh: My stupid bisexual scale has been shifting weight towards women lately, and it's frustrating in a lot of ways, but especially because I don't know how to lesbian or how to pick up ladies. Nothing other gay women don't face, but I'm not really used to it yet and don't know what to do.. ::)
I myself didn't find many differences now that I am open about being trans than when I was secretive about it. My friends who are all straight males keep saying they always saw me as some kind of angry, androgynous folk with a quick wit and a general unwillingness to socialize outside my small circle of friendships. Family wise, they all act the same about me, might be because I have never been one to let anyone make me feel like dung, but I can sense some uneasiness from some relatives. Anyways... it's good, not radically different, but good.
I have a whole lot better outlook on my future encounters with people than I did pre HRT.
I had little social life before and little social life now and that's just fine with me. It matches my personality type.
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I am much less social than I was before transition, but the connections are more genuine. Before transitioning I was essentially a politician. I worked with the chamber of commerce and lobbyists. I was on a first name basis with mayors, city councilors, and a couple of congressman. I hated every single minute of it. I'm much happier with a much smaller social circle.
Not much at all. I'm not the most sociable person, I don't need a lot of social contact all the time, but among friends, nothing's really changed. I think it would be very strange if I began acting differently toward all my friends due to their or my gender, like I was putting on an act. Although I have basically treated all people as the same/equal in my friendships, male or female, and I don't intend to change that.
But since I started the journey, I do feel less like socialising. I feel as though I might be more ready to do it when I'm done, but that is some time off. Maybe it's just that I still feel like I'm in pre-life mode, and when I'm done I'll be in life mode and able to go out and do things without constant discomfort or awkwardness. Maybe I'll be more social then.
guess I need to get a social life....... I'll report back here in a couple of years.....
Hi Everyone. I am new to the Susan's. Thought I might share my pre and post transition social life experience here as well. :)
Its been pretty much the same for me. I went out with my friends before transitioning and I am doing the same now. Only change for me was the first year in my tradition. After I came out to my friend I was little bit nervous to meet my friends in a large group. But as time passes by I was became more comfortable in my own skin and my friends became more comfortable reacting to me as a girl. at the end everything worked out well and my social remained the same or may be little bit improved after I transition. I think because finally I am being who I am and people see me as who I am inside