This isn't a catastrophic end of the world conundrum , it's just a minor wrinkle in the asphalt of life. Why do some people who have known you for years though only superficially as an acquaintance from the neighborhood , seem to steadfastly refuse to acknowledge your changing in my case toward the female side of the road. There are a few store clerks from the block I've lived on for 20 years have seen me transition from presenting male to female with dresses and make up and the whole shebang who will consistently emphasize guy or dude; Instead of just totally ignoring the pronouns out of nothing else but courtesy , they have to emphasize their speech to make me aware that I once totally presented male. I don't feel an obligation to tell them to refer to me with female pronouns , but out of common courtesy you would try to avoid using the wrong pronouns. I really don't care , but I was curious if others had this happen from an acquaintance and what do you think their motive is. It's just annoying like Others from the stores have either avoided the pronouns or have asked me about it.tonight a barista who has known me for like 10 years on just a customer basis called me guy tonight even though my avatar was taken tonight at that Starbucks. No big deal just a curious situation.
Ignorance partly. To feel superior. Some people have low self esteem and just want to hurt people because their life sucks. I hate to bring up pop stars... But Christina Aguilera was heavily hated by the world when she gain extra weight, Kelly Osbourne was like .."Maybe she is just becoming the fat b---h she was born to be," Osbourne said of Aguilera during a segment on E!'s Fashion Police. "
Christina did not care about her weight because she believe in her music alone. She was beyond image at that point, and told her record label what they have on their hands. She feels confident fat or skinny.
You want to see fat shame... Watch Howard Stern abuse Anna Nicole on his 2002 show. He wanted a weight contest with his staff and pleaded Anna to go on the scalel... He thought she was way over 200 lbs.
People literally want people to suffer, to feel better. To get a kick out of it. To be superior.
Look at people hating on women on natural aging alone. Madonna for instance.
Being transgender is something society dissaproves on and ia ammunition to get abuse.
Extreme versions of this would be slavery on blacks in pre abolition days or on the Jewish people suffering in the Halocaust. Its about feeling superior...and looking at something as one dimensional. Objectify.
Once we get a label we lose our individualism... And branded as the steriotype. Especially to people who didnt care about us to begin with.
I worked with a group of guys for 10 years and not a kind word about anyone else came from their mouths.
I Haven't the foggiest. I know some people have religion as their excuse. Others feel that womanhood is some exclusive club I don't belong to because I don't have a uterus. One or two I feel are shielding themselves mentally from being attracted to me physically and need to reinforce their homophobia.
This is why I am to a large degree stealth in daily life. Only people I tell are trusted allies, other trans people and those who need to know like medical practitioners and people who are romantically interested in me.
I don't tell anyone myself , it's just that I've lived in the same apartment building for 20 years in a busy downtown area it not easy to be oblivious when your changing.
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All of the above. Haters will hate. Anything that disrupts the balance in their fragile worlds will be met with ignorance and condemnation. It's not their fault, some of them are merely lack the cognitive capacity to fully function in a world that doesn't mirror their own views. When that happens, their minds desperately grasp for any emotion it can before it shuts down. Negative emotions are usually the most prevalent in their fight or flight reaction for survival.
If you ever read comments below articles (a silly idea I know) you'll see that there's usually a group of people who will frame transgender people as some kind of affront to their 'factual' worldview, and that its disrespecting their beliefs to expect them to play along with someone's 'delusion'. They will then usually make a few references to the liberal/pc 'fascist agenda' that's going to apparently destroy society.
So they take anyone living in a way that they disagree with, whether it be trans people or homosexual people, as a political challenge, whereas most of us just see it as living our lives as who we are. But that's why they are so firm in their misgendering.
As ever, it's intolerance, and a complete lack of empathy.
They just don't get it, honestly. I'm a very emotional person, like I always have been, but when I hear how my dad associates my identity with having a sexual fetish he thinks I should practise at home behind closed doors so that "nobody else is bothered by it" (his words), I still get very insulted and sad. My mom also told me that I have "zero feminine qualities". Things like that really hurt, but my boyfriend also explained that this is also their way of dealing with it because they simply don't know any better. They are ignorant on the subject, and when people are told to relate to something they don't understand, they often get angry. I'm trying to ignore the negative reactions as much as I can and try to be at peace with the fact that they simply don't know any better.
The real reason is that the less . . . Intellectually robust . . . a person is, the smarter they think they are. Only intelligent people seem to be able to look at something and realize they don't know or don't understand.
No cure exists for this condition.
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Terminal head up butt syndrome......
Quote from: Deborah on December 19, 2015, 09:34:21 AM
The real reason is that the less . . . Intellectually robust . . . a person is, the smarter they think they are. Only intelligent people seem to be able to look at something and realize they don't know or don't understand.
No cure exists for this condition.
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;D
Quote from: Ms Grace on December 19, 2015, 02:48:15 AM
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fcdn.meme.am%2Finstances%2F56704880.jpg&hash=dcd893926966ab3a056ab14ec78275208f569259)
^^^^^^^^^ this sums it up nicely. I don't have the foggiest clue. stubbornness maybe why people do. Hugs
Mariah
Well at the end of the day we are asking a lot from people. We are asking them to acknowledge an identity that cannot be seen.
This freaks some people out. I think Political correctness has in some ways gone too far. You know it has when a great scientist breaks down in tears, Because of what people said to him across the internet over a T-shirt that a female friend bought for him. http://thefederalist.com/2014/11/17/its-time-to-push-back-against-feminist-bullies/ (http://thefederalist.com/2014/11/17/its-time-to-push-back-against-feminist-bullies/)
->-bleeped-<- is a condition and the more people understand about it the easier it will become to accept the people with it.
Education is the antidote here I think.
Quote from: highlight on December 19, 2015, 11:02:12 AM
Well at the end of the day we are asking a lot from people. We are asking them to acknowledge an identity that cannot be seen.
And yet they believe unquestioningly in an invisible and mute God who hasn't made any sort of appearance for 2000 years!
No, this really isn't asking that much when the weight of modern science testifies to it.
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:police:
No bashing of people's religious beliefs thanks.
Quote from: Wild Flower on December 18, 2015, 10:25:06 PM
People literally want people to suffer, to feel better. To get a kick out of it. To be superior.
And somehow this seems to be getting worse...quite worrying really.
Life is too short, just let them go & meet new people that see you better. It's not there fault if they knew you as one gender, then you change. They will never see you as you truly are. It's too stressful to be nice & ask them to treat you with your correct gender they never will..............
It's not there fault nor is it your fault. They knew you as one gender I guess so to ask them to know you as another gender is impossible. Just move on to new people & if the older ppl eally want to get to know the new you let them but if not don't worry over it......I have a good friend from first grade in grammer school, she knew me as female/a girl in school so she's OK with seeing me 100% as Francis however even then it's tough for her. We are going shopping next Wed. she has excellent tastes & picks out the nicest colors & dresses than look good on me......But for the most part it's very hard for ppl to accept the new you. Good luck to everyone with this issue, it's certainly a problem.
If someone intentionally won't gender you correctly then getting body parts removed isn't going to change their mind.
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Quote from: Deborah on December 19, 2015, 06:04:22 PM
If someone intentionally won't gender you correctly then getting body parts removed isn't going to change their mind.
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Indeed it won't, which is why those people are best to avoid / ignore if possible :P
Thread locked. It is clear we can't discuss this topic like civilized people and after the TOS 2 violation we have seen enough.