Poll
Question:
since transitioning how often have you encountered negativity
Option 1: never
votes: 14
Option 2: an off comment once in a blue moon
votes: 12
Option 3: a weird look or second hand commet once in a few months
votes: 5
Option 4: something suspicious about once a month
votes: 3
Option 5: once or more every couple of weeks
votes: 1
Option 6: every week
votes: 0
Option 7: every day
votes: 2
Option 8: other
votes: 1
just curious without getting personal or into heated arguments about reasons , just some benign data collection to see the Bell Curve produced by our unique little community.
:police: Going to pre warn and advise. Already had to close a similar thread earlier so lets be mindful and respectful of each other and lets please keep TOS 5, 9, 10 and 15 in mind Please. Thanks
Mariah
yes , I have to agree for the advancement of scientific investigation of our wonderful community
I get very few comments or looks at all, and didn't even get many early on on my transition. But here's where I share a valuable lesson I learnt:
"The less of an issue I make my gender. the less of an issue it is with others."
so far with me I've never heard anything, it's mostly my own fears of knowing how certain groups of people can be , but so far I haven't encountered anything other than the sir's .
This was technically pre-transition since I didn't even know it was a thing back then but, back a few years ago when I was starting to let my hair grow I took a bunch of crap from people; friends, coworkers, family. It was pretty persistent for awhile there...Being that I am the type of person who avoids drama, confrontation, and conflict at all costs def didn't help..I just took in and fumed about it on the inside. They eventually stopped, some maybe figured things out on their own too.
Since then, haven't really had any blatant negative reactions, surprisingly. Had a few incidents that may have been negative while out but I can't say for sure or not but ya, I didn't let it get to me. Oh, heard my aunt and cousin for talking smack about me at a family event last year, not on speaking terms with the aunt but other than these, no, no really negative reactions.
It was worse for me back in the early 70's when I was a long haired freak Hippie. I still can't believe this guy getting on a bus back in 1971 as I was getting off looked at me and said there is a barber shop down the block. Then another time I was buying stuff at a hardware store and this guy turned to me and told me to get a hair cut. People can be weird.
So far everyone has be scary good about it, like I was ready to loose my friends, family, job everything. Instead I lost no one made new friends, often with the wives and female friends of previous friends to whom I sorta became part of the club. I am also closer to some friends now than I ever could have been before. I chose never though in truth there is some misgendering, though never has it seemed malicious. In fact the closest to negitive reactions I had was one friend who was clearly weirded out like he thought he was loosing a friend or that we would not be able to talk about things anymore, which is odd given I am way more likely to bring up risque subjects than most people I know. But after a month or so when It was clear I didn't become some totaly diffrent person he came around. There was also one guy who works in another department at work who was bothered by it, never talked to me but I heard that his mother, who works in my department told him "get over yourself, she is brave for doing it" and more recently due to star wars the force awakens we chatted some and he is good now too.
So ya, I keep waiting and preparing myself for someone to say something and instead I get hugs, and "hey if its what you need to be happy, you do you" or "if you need anything just ask". I have in fact had at least 3 people promise to inflict physical harm on anyone who hurts me, which is sweet in a masculine sorta way.
Serena
that's nice, I've gotten quite a few positive reactions from people and a bunch who just want to gender me correctly.
The only thing I have done blatantly is not get a haircut in a year and since I work on a military post with all retired Army guys I have taken a fair amount of crap. But I kind of like the attention and play their game well. When one of my friends said I was looking like a girl I just asked him if he wanted to take me out to buy me a drink. LOL
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
that's a good one
Really good to hear so many of you have had positive experiences <3 That sounds really painful LivingTheDream, I had a similar experience when I started to grow my hair out. Since coming out I have had: death threats, been assaulted, spat on, misgendered, chased, rape threats. I had so much abuse from my family, friends and work, I had to change my surname, move to a different city and leave my job. Starting from scratch is tough. It takes time to trust again. If I'd not had my partner's love and support, I don't think I'd be here today. Since being able to pass these last few months and being somewhere new, I've been fine though. Hope I haven't put anyone on too much of a downer. I've had a really positive experience at Susan's and it gives me hope XXX Hugs
Before passing, I used to get weird looks a lot, scowls, double-takes, and smirks (still don't know what those were about). Now that I pass most of the time, nothing.
I have yet to experience negative reactions since I have been fulltime.
I've been on HRT for almost four years and living full time for a year and a half. Fear of ridicule really is the reason I took so long getting ready to be me, and in fact for a time I really did resemble a dude in a dress. And yes not everyone was kind. There were lots of pointed Sir! responses and I did everything I could to remain a part of the background and kept my mouth shut as much as possible. (I have friends who can attest that is no longer the case)
There was so much to learn, and those times I girded my courage and spent time as myself were both intensive schoolyard and gloriously affirming. Most people were gentle, and there were women who with a smile would even give me a tip or two. In fact I was never mocked nor made to feel stupid by another woman. It was universally the guys who would catcall or make ->-bleeped-<- comments.
The message here is that with time, and confidence that will and does change. It is a joy to live as I've always known I ought to. Makes me grateful to get up and greet the dawn.
Ming
Quote from: Moomin on December 20, 2015, 03:59:33 AM
Really good to hear so many of you have had positive experiences <3 That sounds really painful LivingTheDream, I had a similar experience when I started to grow my hair out. Since coming out I have had: death threats, been assaulted, spat on, misgendered, chased, rape threats. I had so much abuse from my family, friends and work, I had to change my surname, move to a different city and leave my job. Starting from scratch is tough. It takes time to trust again. If I'd not had my partner's love and support, I don't think I'd be here today. Since being able to pass these last few months and being somewhere new, I've been fine though. Hope I haven't put anyone on too much of a downer. I've had a really positive experience at Susan's and it gives me hope XXX Hugs
glad your ok now
No anti Trans stuff just usual sexual harassment. Probably 1-2x per week.
Negative - none at all. Maybe because I pass consistently and all people see is a woman and not a transgender person.
Initially though when I told some of my "friends" they tried to ruin it for me. I held my head up and threw them out of my life. NO time for haters.
I mostly do not make a big deal of my transition with anyone. I tend to basically politely shut down people who say I'm "brave" or something. I tell them I have it easy compared to some girls who are homeless, unemployed and/or face difficulty in their states or countries to access proper medical treatment for their condition. I ALWAYS keep it in perspective. I didn't have it easy but I didn't have it extremely difficult either.
But I also don't make big announcements or anything. I never announced my transition to the world, I only sent a short note to one of my radio clubs because people were a bit confused. I also said don't compare me to a certain former Olympian as we are all unique and different.
I also said my political views aren't going to change (independent/compassionate conservative and libertarian). I still like ham radio. I still like guns. No I'm not gay. No I don't care if you're gay. You want to get married? Awesome. I will dance at your wedding if I'm invited. I believe in you the individual who has equal rights.
Don't really want to talk about the intimate details of my transition; I just want to live my life.
Most people seem to be comfortable with this. They treat me like a human being. That's all I want.
Never!
:)
Only really the amount of sirs I get in a day. Especially while working. I have my manager and some of my co workers that comply to keep mentioning that I am female, but that only goes so far.
I have this one person that refuses to even comply with my name change at work and goes by what my first name tape said even though my nametape clearly says otherwise with my last name.
And then when I ask to see peoples IDs (having state laws and compliance to have to ID anyone and everyone no matter their age) especially older gentlemen, when they buy their whiskey or other alcoholic beverages, then they refer to me as male in the terms of classification, in the whole "I have a grandson your age" so then I retort if they are trying to hook them up with me.
I do get peeved and upset that a lot of people still misgender me, but so I don't ruin my whole day just getting upset, I just try and turn the instances around.
Kate <3
I get the occasional look from a guy that makes me think, "Time to go." I've had a few women sort of jump back when I spoke because I was in guy mode and didn't think I passed. Until the name change is official, I still have certain places I have to go that only know me by my guy side, like the dentist.
Quote from: kelly_aus on December 20, 2015, 01:34:55 AM
I get very few comments or looks at all, and didn't even get many early on on my transition. But here's where I share a valuable lesson I learnt:
"The less of an issue I make my gender. the less of an issue it is with others."
Yup. That's the one we all to have to learn before everything clicks. Accept yourself and go, the world is going to follow your lead. :)
Hugs, Devlyn
couldn't figure what box to check... Not anywhere near full-time , pre hrt, only out to therapist and support group. Been venturing out as ME when I can, therapy, shopping and such. So far no negative stuff from the general public. Yeah ! What is driving me crazy is all the out of the blue hateful anti trans stuff coming out of the mouths of everyone I know. Don't get it and it's starting to really piss me off. Friends , right, maybe not !
The poll results are nothing short of heartwarming.
This thread should be required viewing for all those people who are afraid they're going to be harassed if the transition.
Quote from: suzifrommd on December 21, 2015, 11:28:50 AM
The poll results are nothing short of heartwarming.
This thread should be required viewing for all those people who are afraid they're going to be harassed if the transition.
Ya, I agree. :)
Hugs, Devlyn
I've had zero issues with my trans status (with the exception of my biological father when I came out, but he hasn't been in my life that much anyway since I was 15 when my mother remarried.)
Zero harassment as a trans woman, but some harassment as a women (like the subway incident). I've never had an issues in the women's bathroom or locker room either.
I havent started HRT yet, but I wear makeup etc when im out , I have had no issues, and in fact had a few compliments :)
No negativity due to my physical nature. The only negative was once when someone tried to keep me in a relationship because of it.
Its mostly just weird looks now, and those are few and far between these days.
It's weird - nobody pays me any attention whatsoever. I get no sexual harassment or cat calls from guys. I don't get unsolicited pictures of male anatomy on Facebook, and I get very few friend requests from guys I don't know. I've become invisible it seems.
The only thing I can figure is that people either immediately peg me as trans or as an old ugly woman, or both.
I was taken by surprise when I first wore a dress in one of the restaurants I go to .I was just going to go in and try to hide in a corner , but one of the cooks came out and told me how pretty I looked. I had on my favorite dress.
I answered once in a blue moon.
I started transitioning back in September and I went full time not too long after despite not even being on HRT yet. Somehow in all this time I only had one person make any comments.
If anything I'm quite surprised how often I get ma'am'd while out and about even when I'm being lazy wearing stuff that isn't really too feminine. Quite exciting knowing this will only improve as HRT does its work!
:)