Hi there,
I am a 26 year old MTF currently in transition. I had been doing really well with transition both physically and emotionally. This past summer, I found out that I am, in fact, intersex. I found out because I was having some medical complications, and began to search further into things. I have always been a very healthy person, so to find this out has been a bit shocking to me, and I'm now still trying to process this.
I grew up in a very religious family: a long line of Southern Baptist pastors. I've been trying to deal with everything as best as I can, but have absolutely no support from my family. Certain members of my family have even made threats, and I have basically ended up cutting them out of my life (and I know this is for the better for now). I've also lost many friends throughout the past couple months on this journey.
I'm really looking to find a community that I can be a part of. A community that doesn't judge me or question me because of who I am. Even though I live in New York City, this has been a harder feat than one would realize. I guess I'm just looking for support... and I don't know where to turn. The one thing I have that I'm holding onto is a loving man in my life... we are for all purposes in an open relationship, but without the title. He has been nothing but supportive, but has never dated anyone transgender or intersex, but has been more than willing to learn and support me in any way he can through the process. This, however creates a problem, because I can't have him being my only support. That's not fair to him, and I just want to have a normal life back again. But I'm feeling a bit like I'm unworthy... I know it's my upbringing playing into this.
I am in therapy working through some of these issues, but would love any suggestions on where to turn to find support right now.
Thanks in advance for your responses.
Hello Jaime and welcome to Susan's. I live in New York City, also. There may some resources here that can help you. You are worthy of being who you are.
:)
Hey there Jamie :-)
Welcome to the family!
Just dropping in to say hi, and to mention that gender-neutral names are great to have. ;)
Hi Jaime :icon_wave:
Welcome to Susan's :) Glad to have you here, join on in the fun
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Hugs
V M
Hi Jamie, welcome to Susan's. Have you tried looking for support groups in your area. This might be away to add to your support system where you live. Congrats on doing so well with your transition so far. Sorry that you have had issues with your family and their doing things that no one should inflict on people. I look forward to seeing you around the forums. Good luck and Hugs
Mariah
Hi Jaime and welcome. I live across the water from NYC in Northern NJ. (10 mins with no traffic, but when does that ever happen, LOL.) I'm in Chelsea quit often and parts of Brooklyn (Park Slope) and Queens (Astoria).
Most of my Father's side of the family is also Southern Baptist so I understand what you are going through. Fortunately my mother is not and remarried to my step father who is Catholic. That side of the family is 100% accepting and supportive.
It's understanding that you don't want to put it all on your partner just as I never wanted to put it all on my wife. It's not fair to put it all on them. There is a transgender support group at The Center (https://gaycenter.org/wellness/gender-identity) on the first Wednesday of the month at 7:30pm. (They don't have the calendar updated for 2016, but the next one should be on Jan 6 at 7:30pm. They also offer counseling services if that helps.
Of course many of us are here as well.
Hi Jaime Welcome!!
You will see from the few posts here that Susan's is an inclusive forum so you should feel at home here.
IMHO, you are right to seek to broaden your support base for both of yours' sake; best to talk your plans through so that your OH knows how much you appreciate his support and seeking additional support in no way diminshes its value. In short, it is a mutual respect thing....
Oh BTW, please remember that you are just as worthy as the next person.... despite one's upbringing or because of it.... xx
Hmm, read the title and the name and had to read. Something about a piano named Jaime. It sounded like a good book.
Instead I find someone worried about their partner. Well, welcome to Susan's. It can be a very good place to find support, and a good laugh now and then. Once in a while, a good cry, too.
33 MTF here and family with strict Roman Catholic roots, so I feel ya. The people here are great to talk to, and it's great you have what sounds like a cool SO. Sorry to hear about how hard your family is making it on you, hopefully time heals, but even if it doesn't, you sound like a pretty strong woman. Hope you stick around, if you ever need to chat, PM me :)
PS - so jealous you live in NYC...