How much do you worry about starting transition if your past 25. Are you able to put aside the fact that the younger generation has had far more access to the information needed to be aware of the process of transition. Has age been a major factor in your confidence in your ability to successfully transition. I started at 62 and I'm glad I did and didn't let the age thing block me. I know when I first came to Susan's there was so much talk about the importance of starting early which is true it helps , but its not the total story. The talk isn't around as much as it use to be which helps us old timers.
Well Stephanie,
It is no secret that I began therapy at 58, I'm now 62 and 361 (days).
If I had not transitioned with help I would not have made 60. Actually I had decided to kill myself if I couldn't get a referral, so I'd be 58 and rotting.
What is important is that help is now available, there is this site; there are Helplines for when it gets too much.
There are LOTS of TG people in TV and news. Transgender people may be seen to be 'different' but in most places we are accepted. OK there is still a lot of stupidity in many countries, but we will break that down. We are getting there by leaps and bounds.
Yes, waiting lists are crazy, but we are working on that and I am just waiting for some triggers to the Human Rights Commission - 2016 will be big. The WPATH conference in Amsterdam will be a game changer hitting biological causes. Bringing hard science forward that we will use against politicians.
In Australia we are fighting, we have $2mill funding for paediatric TG services - first time ever. OK adult services are a problem but we won't give up.
I knew I was a little girl when I was 5yrs old. I and you suffered, but our TG children will not and in time the adults will not.
Sorry if this became a rant but lets get over the grief of our past. Lets fight for the future and lets be positive.
We don't concentrate on age, we concentrate on rights.
Trans rights are Human rights.
Simple and obvious.
ok
I'm 44 and my age does affect my confidence in being able to transition. But I'm also hopeful, because I do have some physical traits that already are quite feminine. No bodily hair, a soft skin, my voice already was quite high, I'm often called "Mrs" over the phone. But I do it for myself. Passability is an issue, but the way I don't feel at home in my body is a bigger issue.
So yeah, I'm jealous of younger generations. When I had grown up in this day and age, I would have been recognised as a "genderchild" and be able to transition much more successfully.
No, it doesn't effect my confidence because I don't allow it to. Since there isn't anything I can do about my age I don't let that be a factor to consider. What will be, will be.
If I let myself dwell upon it I can start to feel a little regretful so I just don't dwell on it. I put that trigger away.
Reading what I wrote above it looks a little trite. But it really is how my mind works.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
I do not intend to be trite with this but when all is considered we are the same people as we have always been deep, deep down. I am 46 and will be starting my transition via HRT very soon and I have to admit I wish I had available to me what is available to today's younger people while I also wish the same wisdom and knowledge had been available to me then too. BUT because I am (and have always been) me, age can not stop me! I am now more determined, wiser and financially better off than I have ever been so I will become the beautiful woman that I need to be. While life might throw struggle after struggle at my transition nothing will stop me! If it takes self discipline-I will give it, if I must forge my way through loneliness- I will do so, if I must be physically determined-I will be so and even when it requires surgeries-I will organise them while conquering my fears. In short I will use age to strengthen and guide my transition.
Please forgive if I have offended but it must be considered that the above is only in reference to me and is not meant, IN ANY WAY, to reference the necessities of others. This shows only the direction of the path that I feel I must take and I certainly understand that many other girls and women likely disagree strongly with me however I am merely attempting to communicate that age need not be a barrier when thinking of transitioning. Be strong, be beautiful!
my age has made me far more relentless
I suppose all ages come with their own advantages and disadvantages.
I have no choice. During christmas 2014 it became to clear to me that I am a woman. In the same moment it was clear that I have to transition. I have not the choice between living as a woman or living as a man. I would have had only the choice between suicide or live as a woman (suicide was not an option).
So I started transition at the age of 44.
Quote from: Lara1969 on December 27, 2015, 05:07:07 AM
I have no choice.
Yes, totally can relate... I mean, technically one could say "you chose HRT and chose to live life as a woman". True; guilty as charged. But I didn't choose the catalyst of those actions, which was
being transgender. I didn't choose it or want it.
Sorry, totally sidetracked, but to add to topic:
It was a small barrier, not a big barrier, but a barrier nonetheless.
When I took the plunge at 35 (still young to many, but I think my fellow 30-somethings can relate) I def felt I missed my exit for a successful transition. So that made for many a deep contemplations; balancing the reality of:
A) staying a d00d and keeping everything bottled up to have a semblance of a normal life without ostracism and ridicule, yet living life disingenuously and secretively; because, hey, you're too old now.
orB) doing it all and being internally 'free', yet doing it with the very real prospect of forever being a man-in-a-dress to the world due to (again) starting too late.
I think what pushed me past that barrier is that I knew, KNEW, that I'd still be wrestling with the same dysphoria I've felt all my life, only at 40/45/50 and kicking myself for not doing it at 35 when things would be easier. I basically did my future self a big big favor, hehe.
When the smoke cleared, my fears were unfounded and right now am really just thankful that it all worked out; I realize I will never pass under specific & critical scrutiny, but I got what I asked for: A safe, harassment-free life full of happiness! "It's never too late" is said too often, but there's a reason for that: It's 100% true.
It did a little but more so because I have an established life and family.
I transitioned at 51. My age was absolutely not a consideration.
The only choice in the matter was between transitioning or as Cindy said "rotting" somewhere 6 feet under.
I have to admit at age 66 I'm going to feel a little silly in the Endo's office but I don't have any choice either. I thought the good Lord was going to let me take it to the grave but everything I had buried in my life just exploded on me at the end of October. My therapist said when we were talking that the two times she had seen me socially in the few weeks before our appointment, she could tell something was wrong and I was really hurting. I don't know if it was here on Susan's or somewhere else but someone put up a Chinese (I think) proverb. "The best time to plant a tree was twenty years ago. The second best time is today." Twenty years ago I had the knowledge of how to go about transitioning and the opportunity but didn't plant the tree. I'm not going to miss the second best planting time.
I did to a certain degree in that I had no other path to take , but constantly thinking what's the point at 62 . I mean my life was over either way. I decided to try it out and I felt that this is good. My therapist told me why not at least enjoy what's left.
I was pretty nervous about it. I kept thinking there's no way I'm going to pass, I'm going to be throwing away that portion of my life and by the time I get to enjoy it I'll be too old, etc. I think it may actually be easier now that I've taken that step though. I'm not a young kid so those extra constraints of current styles and perfect makeup and everything don't really apply to me. I almost always just wear jeans and a t-shirt and hardly ever wear makeup. Maybe I just got lucky on my area and nobody else really cares enough to be a jerk though. The city I have to do the name change in is one of the most dangerous in the country though. Not looking forward to that.
There seems to be a consistently seen result and belief that transitioning later in life (from the mid forties on) precludes any hope of being passable. Are there ways of overcoming this? Can one transition and be passable? Could this be achieved by a stringent physical regimen (such as through strict health and fitness regimes) or does it require more severe measures such as FFS to be passable? I know we are all different but I am only seeking a general viewpoint here.
I am starting a journey that must be undertaken in order to avoid becoming suicidal but because I am a newcomer I am still hoping to be widely seen as a woman which, to me, is important to living as the woman I know myself to be and that is from where my question on "passability" arises. Please excuse me if I am ignorant but I will NOT give up transitioning and any help will be greatly appreciated girls. Furthermore I hope my ignorance is not offending anyone and so I ask forgiveness if it has done so.
Be strong! Be beautiful!
hugs Roxanne.
that's what we're all here for is help and education.
In later years the difference in appearance between men and women diminishes. The bar is lowered considerably. A 65 year old transwoman doesn't need to look like a 20 year old cis-woman.
Quote from: roxie rudi on December 27, 2015, 12:31:19 PM
There seems to be a consistently seen result and belief that transitioning later in life (from the mid forties on) precludes any hope of being passable.
I view passing and age like I view exercise: It's much easier for a 20 year old to look toned and fit versus a 40 year old, but you can't extract from that fact that it is
impossible to look toned and fit at 40.
the thing is that the person in the media spotlight right now looks pretty fantastic for a person who's 65.
Okay, I WILL become me and I WILL do so while taking my own exhortations to heart. I will be strong! I will be beautiful!
Thank you so very much for your encouragements girls and I love you for them,
big, big, big hugs,
Roxie.
Quote from: stephaniec on December 27, 2015, 01:31:22 PM
the thing is that the person in the media spotlight right now looks pretty fantastic for a person who's 65.
But then again her face is made of plastic and her hair isn't exactly real either. And I've seen the no make up pictures too - the effect is somewhat lessened without a few hours in the studio and an airbrush before the photos go to print. If I had millions of dollars to create a new appearance I'm sure I'd look even better ;) However I'm less than half her age. I still feel old to be starting this though.
Would it be reasonable to assume that HRT coupled with FFS would allow for a passable face? I also take my health and fitness very seriously. In fact I'm off to the gym in 15 minutes to burn calories while simultaneously doing my best to avoid muscle building because I'm 46 and soon to commence HRT with a hope of being passable when I have transitioned.
Hi All
I have to say that I started at 54 years old and have loved everything about it. If I started when I was younger My Dad would have killed me and even my Mother agrees with that. I had was tortured as a child for not being the stand up man that my father wanted. I have a twin sister and we are both small people I'm 5'-3" tall and 140lbs all my brothers are 6'4" and 220lbs and bald I am the oldest and have a full thick head of hair. I only wear size 8 women's shoes and my brothers are all in mens 14 shoes what the heck I'm the same size as all three of my sisters. I get called my sisters name all the time now as we do look a lot alike. So if you look at my time line I will post below you will see what Hormones can do at any age.
https://www.pinterest.com/burke1060/the-old-me-over-the-years/
Hugs
Lyndsey
Quote from: Missy D on December 27, 2015, 07:02:35 PM
But then again her face is made of plastic and her hair isn't exactly real either. And I've seen the no make up pictures too - the effect is somewhat lessened without a few hours in the studio and an airbrush before the photos go to print. If I had millions of dollars to create a new appearance I'm sure I'd look even better ;) However I'm less than half her age. I still feel old to be starting this though.
Hey sweetie
I don't think that we should be beating her up as if I had her money I would have a lot done. Lets face it we all want to look our best. like I said before the young ones that are transitioning all the power to them.
Hug's and love it what we all need for all of us support all of us.It is a hard road as we all know.
Lyndsey Marie
No, not so much. My life unfolded as it did. I can't change it, and it does no good to look back.
Of course I wish I had the courage to transition when I was in my 20s, but it would have been much more difficult then, in terms of social awareness and medical support. Also, it took this long for me to (1) understand I am transgender, and (2) to find the courage - finally - to transition. I was never in the transition-or-die club, but I got so tired obsessing every single day about being, or more precisely, not being female, that I finally decided to do something about it.
Terri
Yes it drives one absolutely bonkers obsessing about being a woman when you have been born with a willy etc! And at 46 I wish that the awareness that now exists for trans guys and gals had existed for me when I was younger but seeing the beautiful youngsters that are blessed by contemporary understandings and medical knowledge I am finding that I must learn to be much, much more loving and forgiving. I will not be bitter, especially now that my life's redemption is in both reach and clear view. Instead I am happy for ALL those who find this escape from the mistaken bodies with which they have been born because I imagine it is a most beautiful freedom to know.
It really hasn't been a barrier for me. In some sense, i have been transitioning 20+ yrs. The main thing is i now understand fully what i need to do and do it for me, and to do it for my loved ones, such to the extent that they deserve a whole and genuine me. As others have noted too, it really has saved my life from what likely would have been a spiral and early end.
My ability to meet others standards of femininity is pretty low on the priority scale. I want to look my best and at least like my own look. I am really starting to like looking in the mirror more and more. I did not hate the reflection before at all but the person i see staring back at me, finally seems like me and not some other person.
Bye all, I'm off to the gym.
I wanted to find a way to transition when I was 27, but I was not able to due to my family situation. I had access to the Internet in 1998 when I was 35, and I found a therapist and began HRT, but due to my family, and my work situation (I worked with hazardous chemicals, and I was required to shower in an open locker room after work each day), I had to discontinue the treatment after 3 months, and I wasn't able to start HRT again until I was 39, and I didn't fully transition until a couple of months before my 44th birthday in 2007.
Quote from: kittenpower on December 28, 2015, 12:11:40 AM
I wanted to find a way to transition when I was 27, but I was not able to due to my family situation. I had access to the Internet in 1998 when I was 35, and I found a therapist and began HRT, but due to my family, and my work situation (I worked with hazardous chemicals, and I was required to shower in an open locker room after work each day), I had to discontinue the treatment after 3 months, and I wasn't able to start HRT again until I was 39, and I didn't fully transition until a couple of months before my 44th birthday in 2007.
Just a point. I gave a seminar on problems transgender people face in the workplace and shared the stage with the head of HR for Rio Tinto (Australia), who said that any transgender people working for them were supplied with access to their own lockers and showers. He also stated that any discrimination against transgender people was a dismissal offence.
The world is moving forwards! At least in places.
Like most transgender people I wish I had known back in the day what I know today. Yes my life would be totally different but would it be better?? Depending on your situation there are some advantages to transitioning later in life. I was able to have children, and they are the greatest joy of my life. Sure I could have adopted but knowing that these people are a part of me is priceless. I was able to establish a career in a field that is not gender exclusive working for a government agency. I have job security and anti harassment laws in place to protect me at work. If I were to lose my job for some reason, I have a vested pension that would allow me to retire today, at 54, with an income greater than the maximum Social Security benefit available.
So with all of those things in mind my age was not a barrier but an advantage. At my age I know I am not going to, nor do I have to, look like a model. If I ever choose to go into the dating field (I currently have a wonderful girlfriend who has been supportive of my transition) I will be able to hold my own because I am a professional woman with a good salary who isn't going to be dependent on anyone for financial support.
Because of my age I was basically able to say, OK this is the situation, how do I handle it.
It won't go away. OK.
It will get stronger as I age. OK.
Only real cure is death or transition. OK
I wasn't ready to die so I said "lets light this candle and see where this rocket will take us."
So far, as Jill F would say, it has been an "E" ticket ride. I do not want to get off and I can't wait to see were else I am going to go.
wow, I'm 64 and I thought I looked like Greta Garbo , of course I do need to replace my glasses.
Quote from: Cindy on December 27, 2015, 01:14:48 AM
The WPATH conference in Amsterdam will be a game changer hitting biological causes. Bringing hard science forward that we will use against politicians.
Hi Cindy,
Can you expand on this a bit. Is there a lot of new research that hasn't been made public yet? It sounds very interesting.
Thanks,
Paige :)
To me, age was scary. When I transitioned in 1998 there was little information, but I was desparate. I was 23 and was very much scared of getting 30 or older with testosterone and no estrogen changing my body. So I defeinitely wanted to do something sooner rather than later. But of course looking at how it is now - where people transition at 18, 15, 12 or as kids already - that certainly does make me envious too.
I think the later transitioners have some advantages over me or the younger ones - they can have a family and kids already, maybe they have a good job record and get better paid, maybe they already were able to save up enough capital to finance additional surgeries... I am now in my 40ies and have only now the financial stability that I could afford surgeries - at age 23 this was nothing more but a remote idea... of course if you are 12 when transitioning, you do not really need all of that money or surgeries...
I'm 45, and I am seriously considering it for next year. Up to now, I've resisted it - I come from being a conservative Christian, married a Catholic, and spent years trying to live up to the Alpha male mystique. When my wife walked out in August, I decided to see if this was for real and dressed full time at home except when I have my son for visitation. It didn't go away - it confirmed who I am. So yeah, my age sucks - testosterone has made my face masculine, my shoulders broad, etc. I am terrified of being clocked if I transition. But how can I deny who I am? I long to be able to go out as my true self, and age or not, it's something I want and need, so will find a way. About the only thing holding me back now is the fear that my wife will use it to take away the custody of my son from me, but my age is not a factor at all.
Hi Karlie
Don't worry about your wife taking the kids away. I have seen this several times over the years and believe me there is not one judge that will do that as it would be discrimination against you and he could be removed from the bench. When I was a Fed this is the kind of things that I dealt with on a day to day basis. The Judge will not take that chance.
As for your age. I started at the age of 54 and I'm now 58 I feel wonderful. If you decide to do this and go on HRT the changes are amazing that can happen as you can see by my time line link I will leave for you. It is not and easy journey as people may think there is a lot of ups and down. Only you will know if it is for you. what ever you decide to do you have my Blessing. Feel free to PM me if you want. I'm always around. :angel:
https://www.pinterest.com/burke1060/the-old-me-over-the-years/
Hug's
Lyndsey
Hi All
In my opinion the latest age to start transition is when you are dead as in my opinion no age barrier. It is never to late to be happy!! :angel:
Hugs
Lynn