I'm a 26 year old male and I've recently had sort of an epiphany about myself and believe myself to be genderfluid or possibly transgender. I've always played female characters in video games and have done extensive roleplaying online as a female, to the point that I was living a dual life. Lots of people play female avatars, but I would play games where I could obsessively design their appearances and clothing (like the sims). I've always enjoyed shopping for clothes and shoes with my girlfriend as well. I also tend to have very feminine mannerisms. I could go on and on, but basically I had an epiphany the other night where I feel as though these actions, and trying to purchase clothing for my girlfriend that I liked, was me living vicariously through these things. At her suggestion, I've tried wearing some of her clothes and it feels like it fits aside from my physical appearance not being very feminine. But I am still filled with feelings of doubt, uncertainty. She believes I am enjoying exploring my gender identity and feel guilty because of my worry of judgement and societal standards. I'm really unsure, it sounds right but I'm feeling a lot of things right now. It'd never occurred to me that I may be transgender before now. I'm unable to afford a therapist at the moment, but I'm really unsure where to go from here because I have no one in my life that is transgender or genderfluid that can talk to me about this.
If you wouldn't mind posting approximately where you are perhaps someone can suggest some local resources. There's people from all over the world here.
Welcome to Susan's Place. I am pretty sure you are transgender so follow along with my thoughts. I am post surgical 33 years ago and I don't feel feminine most of the time. I feel comfortable in my skin and I no longer have the uncomfortable thoughts I had for many years.
Being transgender can be many things and you can do some exploration now to see where you stand. Our Wiki (https://www.susans.org/wiki/Transgender) has a very good page explaining the variations and the other source is on youtube called "the transition channel" (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCfO3B57E6NpIn-KsVjvmLLw). Both of these will help you learn about yourself.
Some doctors will treat you on a sliding scale and often insurance will cover therapy. Your local LGBT center may have resources that you would find useful. Feel free to ask me anything and I will do my best to respond to you.
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I live in Wichita, Kansas. I am not always uncomfortable with myself as a male, at least I don't feel that way. I dislike many masculine aspects of my body, but I am not at all uncomfortable with my genitals and as of now, don't really feel any desire to change that. I'm not sure I'm crazy about the idea of going full time woman or not. That's why I think I might be genderfluid.
I had a conversation with somebody about that a short time ago. You might want to look at the thread here (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,201219.0.html).
Hi All
I know how hard it must be for you as we have all gone threw this at one time or another. As Dena said there is many place's to look in the threads that may help you sort things out. It is a BIG decision to come out and live as a women for a year or the rest of your life. Go slow we aren't in a race here. Baby steps is how many people here put it. And Welcome to Susan's Place.
Hugs
Lyndsey
Hi TX :icon_wave:
Welcome to Susan's :) Glad to have you here, join on in the fun
Hugs
V M