If I take a low dose of testosterone, could I train my voice so it won't sound TOO different? Like as if I were trying to retain my singing voice?
I really need testosterone, and I know my dad would agree to it IF I tell him my relatives won't notice. (Because my relatives would probably kill me)
I look like a guy already, but my relatives probably think I'm just a "tomboy." So I know my voice is the main problem because I'm not gonna try and grow a beard or do anything to make myself look more noticeably manly...
(Off topic, but how long did it take for you to get a prescription of testosterone?
For some guys the drop in voice is more obvious than in others - I know a guy for whom it hardly made a jot of difference even after seven years on the standard dose. Unfortunately you cannot pick and chose body changes and effects through HRT, it's down to genetics.
To be honest I doubt your relatives would notice anyway since the changes take place over time and the very last thing they're going to be thinking is that you're on testosterone.
That's true... They haven't asked WHY I dress like a guy, have short hair, etc.... I've just been freaking out after my relatives had a conversation about Caitlyn Jenner. (They said Bruce...)
Blocker will help keep you from feeling as uncomfortable with yourself. T will bring on physical changes and it's hard to tell how much. I had a natural source and my body wasn't very masculine but my voice was. Some people sprout hair all over and their voice changes little.
As for voice training, we have a section for that but again it's a roll of the dice. Many people can train their voice to sound feminine but I was an exception. My voice was so low that it took voice surgery AND therapy to push it into the feminine range. Also don't forget that often a males voice will break in puberty. You could find your voice breaking in the same way and the only way to get a usable voice will be to remain on T until the voice reached it's final form.
The only way to know what T will do to you is to try it and by the time you know, it may be to late to undo what happened. Getting on T will vary depending on where you live and your therapist. It may take a few months before your therapist will agree to writing a letter.
Even with a low dose T is a powerful drug and will do its own thing. In my honest opinion your dad doesn't sound like a very nice person (mine isn't either). Lie to him about the T changes not being noticeable. You need the hormones for your own mental health, not for other people's happiness. Anyway your dad can't be angry at you for your voice changing as you don't have any control of how the drug affects your body. You need to do what makes you happy.
I agree everybody experiences changes differently. I have certainly seen someone who has been on t for several months but his voice still hasn't dropped significantly.
For me personally and from what I heard for other guys, voice change is one of the very first noticeable changes. But if you see your relatives quite often, the changes may be so gradual that they may not even notice. I have an uncle that I haven't talked to in months, the first time I spoke to him on the phone after I was on t, he asked about my voice and coincidently I was having a cold at that time, so I just told him I was sick. The second time I talked to him, he didn't even think twice and ask me about my voice anymore.
How old are you? It makes a big difference in how to proceed but generally if you have one supportive parent or relative you say screw the rest and they will either accept you or reject you. You just need to be ready for possible rejections and do know that those people might come around later when they see you are happy. The talking about Jenner was probably just those relatives ignorance and minds can change big time once they know someone personally that is trans.
Agree with what Alex said. People's minds usually soften up a bit when they personally know someone who is trans. Before that, they're limited to what they see on TV.
I started on a low dose of T and my voice was the first change that I experienced. It started dropping within the first 2 weeks. You can play it off as a cold for a while, but after a point people start wondering why you're still sick.
And there's really no telling what will happen to you when. I had just as many changes happen in my first month on low dose as some guys have on a regular dose. It's all down to body chemistry.
I visited with a doctor at the end of November 2014, just before Thanksgiving. The soonest follow up appointment they had was December 5th, which is when I got my prescription. Had they had open availability, I could've come back in the following week. But they do informed consent here, which may be more limited or not available for minors.
Alexander,
I am going to be honest and say that I think that you should take caution with people saying that you could possibly explain it away as a cold, or people won't notice as they get used to it.
Your voice WILL change even with low dose. Your voice WILL sound like a male's voice. I have known guys that within a month their voices have dropped like crazy.
I strongly suggest that you do not take any dose of T until you accept that you voice will eventually get into male range (could be a month, could be 3), and that you will need to explain it.
I DO want a male voice. I hate sounding the way I do, I just need to be "stealth" around my INCREDIBLY close-minded relatives...
And my dad's nice... The reason I know he'd only agree to it if I say my relatives won't notice is because he's worried about them asking me all these questions and ridiculing me and everything like that... And he knows that they would NOT accept me...
I really really want testosterone to finally "start my life..." I'm honestly too scared to do anything because I'm terrified of crashing into so much depression I can't function...
I can help you talk in the lower feminine rage which may sound like a young male without using T but there is a limit to how much your voice can be lowered without T. You will have the option of using this voice around the relatives or returning to your current voice when the relatives are around.
Quote from: Alexander2202 on January 09, 2016, 12:22:18 PM
And my dad's nice... The reason I know he'd only agree to it if I say my relatives won't notice is because he's worried about them asking me all these questions and ridiculing me and everything like that... And he knows that they would NOT accept me...
I really really want testosterone to finally "start my life..." I'm honestly too scared to do anything because I'm terrified of crashing into so much depression I can't function...
It sounds like your dad will accept you. He needs to help you stick up to your relatives and tell them that kind of behaviour is not acceptable. It is alright if relatives ask questions as they want to learn but some questions are not acceptable. Those awkward questions can be avoided by just saying that you are not comfortable answering it at this time.
If I were you first thing I would do is look up all the effects that T will have. You need to be prepared for what will happen. Then you need to tell your dad what will happen on T. After that you two need a game plan when relatives find out. You can either tell relatives up front but it sounds like that might not be the best idea in your situation. You can not tell them anything and they will figure it out over time when the visible changes happen.
Since you did not share your age I will assume you are a minor and will need your dad's backing on this to even get the T.
I think this is great advice.
Quote from: Alexthecat on January 10, 2016, 03:21:33 AM
It sounds like your dad will accept you. He needs to help you stick up to your relatives and tell them that kind of behaviour is not acceptable. It is alright if relatives ask questions as they want to learn but some questions are not acceptable. Those awkward questions can be avoided by just saying that you are not comfortable answering it at this time.
If I were you first thing I would do is look up all the effects that T will have. You need to be prepared for what will happen. Then you need to tell your dad what will happen on T. After that you two need a game plan when relatives find out. You can either tell relatives up front but it sounds like that might not be the best idea in your situation. You can not tell them anything and they will figure it out over time when the visible changes happen.
Since you did not share your age I will assume you are a minor and will need your dad's backing on this to even get the T.
Even though my voice dropped enough after two months, only a couple people have actually commented and wondered if I was on T (and they already knew I was trans). I have encountered people I have not come out to and they have made no comment on the fact that my voice is noticeably deeper so I'm guessing they just don't think about it if they don't think it's a possibility I'm trans.
Quote from: Dena on January 09, 2016, 12:24:13 PM
I can help you talk in the lower feminine rage which may sound like a young male without using T but there is a limit to how much your voice can be lowered without T. You will have the option of using this voice around the relatives or returning to your current voice when the relatives are around.
Hi Dena,
From this and other posts, I noticed that you know a lot about voice. I am FTM and I plan to start T in two months. I am also interested in voice projection techniques and speaking from the diaphragm. Can you refer me to some resources that can help learn to control my voice better?
Thanks.
16, I'll be 17 in August.
Personally, voice changes were very noticeable fairly quickly, (within a month or so). The good feelings far outweighed the bad.
Quote from: Alexander2202 on January 10, 2016, 04:47:13 PM
16, I'll be 17 in August.
I don't think you mentioned yet - have you been speaking to a therapist or mental health professional at all? Even with parental approval, as a minor you're going to need a mental health referral to get on T. In addition to providing the referral, they'd probably be a big help in figuring out how to tolerate your relatives or adjust your life so that they are a smaller part of it.
Good luck!