I hope no one minds me asking this. I never posted in this section of the forum before because I feel like its not my place to do so. Mods, if this is not something that needs to be here from an FtM non-binary guy, such as myself, feel free to have it permanently deleted. Moving along....
I guess I'm asking because truth be told I really don't know what the answer or answers are. I guess its more of a rhetorical question. Like the type of question that could generate an incalculable amount of answers because this question is so ambiguous to me, being someone who does not identify as female to begin with. That's why it feels more appropriate for me to post this here instead of the FtM section of the forum.
Hopefully you ladies do not mind. And if so, please do not hesitate to either PM me or one of the mods to have it taken down forever.
Thanks. ^^
good question, clothes ,mannerisms , perceiving in a different color of the spectrum, attitudes, emotions, relationships. Kind of like looking at daily life through a different prism. I look at men and women differently then I would if I were a man. I personally am attracted to men and woman , but I look at men far more differently than I did before accepting who I was. My mind is just geared towards perceiving life more softly .Pretty hard to describe , but I'm a work in progress.
I used to think it was obvious, but I now feel that was only my ignorance showing.
Now I've considered a lot more seriously, I've no idea.
I think you can only answer it by contrasting male and female, but I've still no idea.
I have noticed a lot of mental differences since starting HRT, and they are stereotypical make vs female things. I've also seen children behave in stereotypical male vs female ways, and I don't think its all social influences. I tend to think that the physical/mental differences cause the social differences, and these reinforce either other to create the binary we see.
Its human nature to conform, and we there's a lot of pressure to conform to your gender. Being different is dangerous, and that's not just some modern intolerance but a fundamental to being human (and many animals).
I have some very female feelings now that I never had before, but in most ways I've not changed. I say these are female as they are stereotypical and new, and I believe entirely caused by HRT. I also have many very stereotypical male feelings and behaviors, but I can't say females don't share these, I've no idea really.
As far as it relates to being trans, I don't care. I am what I am, and giving a name to it doesn't matter. I know what I need to do to keep my sanity and that's all that's important. The rest is just curiosity.
Being Male... or Female... it doesnt have to mean anything. If you feel you are a woman inside then you are one no matter what. Society Stereotypes shouldnt exist.
Just do whatever you want and let the humanity go to hell if it doesnt agree with who you are. You are what you are and you decide what gender you want to present yourself as. What it mean to you to be a male or a female should be your own definition.
It's actually a pretty good question and the answer depends on how you approach the idea of a human being. Most definitions hinge on the reproductive organs and for the vast majority of people that works because their minds and reproductive systems developed complimentarily. For the majority of us though that isn't true. So then it would depend on how you define the essence of a human being. Is that in their reproductive organs or is it in the mind. We can ignore arguments from those who claim that there can be no difference between the two because both science and first hand experience demonstrate their error.
Then there are those who claim that neither biological organs nor mind are the defining factor but rather it's a simple matter of social conditioning. Personally I find this explanation fails completely in explaining either us or the CIS population.
So, take your pick.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Phoenix I feel we are better informed because we share this Place with trans men and gender non conforming people of all kinds. Our knowledge is better informed when we hear from such diverse perspectives.
What does it mean to be a woman? is a very relevant question and one we could write a book to answer. I started transition not feeling I had the answers and endeavored to approach my journey as one would a baby growing thru girlhood, puberty and the flowering of womanhood. Damed if i haven't arrived a bit too quickly at the old woman's campground.
I find it easier to think of being a rather unique kind of woman and not one of the blend in types. Contrasting myself with cisgender woman or anyones stereotypes is pointless to me.
Feel free to contribute on this side too. There are no barriers between the forums. I do peek and write in the boy's corner too as I feel supportive and some things simply have weight shared from a transwoman. Given opportunity to make someone feel better by actually telling them the truth, one shan't miss it.
Feminine, that is me, myself and I. There should be no qualifier or disqualifier for gender identity (e.g. vs gender expression). That is how one feels, and medical transition is something done [by some of us] to be also happy with our bodies and to empower our outward presentation to others.
I do not know about other countries, but in the UK there is no legal definition of "man" or "woman". The difficulty is coming up with a definition that does not exclude someone who was born a male or female as defined by everyone else.
It seems absurd. Everyone knows what a woman looks like or what a man looks like but when you really look into it there are so many variations and exceptions that no legal definition works. This is probably why US bathroom bills run into so much bother. There are men out there with XX chromosomes. They think they are men, everyone thinks they are men and they father kids. There are women with XY chromosomes who everyone accepts are women. There are men with ovaries and women with testicles. There is even one guy who has his unborn brother's testicles so he is actually the uncle of his own kids and his unborn twin is the father.
It is a mess.
So ..."What Exactly Does It Mean To Be A Woman?", well since no one can actually agree what a woman is, I am not sure your question can be answered. All I can say is try and live in whatever way makes you happiest.
I guess its just I'am what I'am and that just so happens to be a female. To be anything else is impossible for me.
That question in itself has many different answers, depending on your culture and who you are as an individual.
Warning, Philosophy! No answers, only questions.
https://youtu.be/p9kCJvfo28w?list=PLghL9V9QTN0jve4SE0fs33K1VEoXyL-Mn
Quote from: Frae on January 12, 2016, 05:45:26 PM
Warning, Philosophy!
Love it, thanks for that link.
Np! Everything on that channel is gold :D
I've struggled with this and honestly I don't know.
It's not clothing. It's not being called "miss" or "ma'am." It's not my genitals. It's not any other features of my body such as breasts and hips. It's not hormones or chromosomes. It's not makeup.
It's honestly just my inner being. My soul if you may.
My outer presentation is just matching that now and that resolves a conflict for me.
This is why it's so hard for cis people to understand us. A lot of them think we just want to wear women's clothing. Far from it. The only reason I wear women's clothing is because it helps my outer presentation.
I remember people telling me how to be a man, it's all sillyness though.
Be strong, don't complain, don't cry, protect those who need it.
So hopefully being a woman doesn't mean, be weak, complain and cry a lot and be a damsel
That's exactly what it means, as traditionally defined. By men.
I struggle with this. As a man, I was often told: "what are you, a woman"? It depressed me a lot, because it's just the way I am
I have all these stereotypical female traits and was frequently laughed at for them: I enjoy being nurturing, love cooking, I'm a danger behind the wheel, like to gossip, am a multitasker, really enjoy men treating me like the princess I am, can sometimes be over emotional, to give just a few out of a long list of examples. To me transitioning is a form of socially adjusting too. Ever since I'm out of the closet, people don't hold these traits against me anymore. I can finally relax.
But I'm aware it's kind of politically incorrect at the same time.
I don't think it really means anything. Gender roles are a social construct... You can be a woman and not ascribe to these roles, so the definition would be pretty broad and abstract.
Most people would define what being a "woman" is by reciting stereotypes... I don't want to fall into that trap...
Honestly, no idea. I'm just me, I had no place in society as a male because I just couldn't fulfill the "role" society expected of me as that... I'm way more comfortable in a female skin, my behaviour and interests are more in line with what society expects of females. It feels right, but I can't really explain why it's right. All I know is I used to hurt inside, and that pain has now subsided...
I can just be, without being made to feel inadequate or out of place... I finally like myself and found a sense of inner peace. The world's no longer ugly, or mean, or cruel... It just is, and I finally just am...
Do I feel like a woman in society? Yes.
What does being a woman mean? I don't know.
But I do believe one can in fact feel gender... I don't really feel my legs when I'm laying down and relaxed, but if someone punched one of my legs, it'd hurt, and I'd feel it. Same thing with gender, you feel it if something's wrong, because it'll hurt...
I really think gender transcends silly stereotypical definitions... It doesn't manifest itself like that. It's not superficial... It is, however, innate, subtle, and obvious only to your own person..
To me it doesn't have anything to do with roles. I didn't have any problem in the male role; I was very good at it. Yet something still never felt right. For me this is something much deeper that what role I can or want to fill and goes far beyond what clothes I can wear. Those things fade into insignificance in my mind. This is something intrinsic to my nature as a person.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Quote from: Deborah on January 13, 2016, 09:43:07 AM
To me it doesn't have anything to do with roles. I didn't have any problem in the male role; I was very good at it. Yet something still never felt right. For me this is something much deeper that what role I can or want to fill and goes far beyond what clothes I can wear. Those things fade into insignificance in my mind. This is something intrinsic to my nature as a person.
Absolutely. I agree with all of that
To me:
Womanhood- A genetic predisposition where the mind and body thrives in an estrogen induced Wonderland of lunacy.
Depends from what perspective you're asking this from.
Purely biological it's in the chromosomes genitalia I suppose.
From a social standpoint. It's up to the person really, because it's a purely subjective thing, as you very well see in this tread already ;)
For me personally I tend not to dwell too much on it cause it gives me a headache as long as people are respectful about other people and their views I don't really care
Quote from: Frae on January 12, 2016, 05:45:26 PM
Warning, Philosophy! No answers, only questions.
https://youtu.be/p9kCJvfo28w?list=PLghL9V9QTN0jve4SE0fs33K1VEoXyL-Mn
Damn, Frae. You got me hooked on that whole channel now! :laugh:
Quote from: King Phoenix on January 13, 2016, 11:46:55 PM
Damn, Frae. You got me hooked on that whole channel now! :laugh:
ditto
Quote from: Harley Quinn on January 13, 2016, 10:04:30 AM
To me:
Womanhood- A genetic predisposition where the mind and body thrives in an estrogen induced Wonderland of lunacy.
I might have to print that out and put it on my wall.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Noooo problem people! My pleasure :D
Quote from: byanyothername on January 14, 2016, 12:33:42 AM
I might have to print that out and put it on my wall.
Awww... thanks! I have the random epiphanies. ;)
I'm not really sure anymore. I used to have a plan based on what I'd seen, but now I'm just being me, i.e. I'm not really focusing on mannerisms or anything, just on what I like and being natural. Seems to work just better than what I had imagined before, so I'm good with it.
Hi Emileeeee (cool username by the way ;)).
I see myself going in that same direction also. I mean, instead of trying so hard to be a man (in my case), I am just wanting to be myself. I find that is much easier and less stressful also. :) So I totally am in agreeance with ya there!^^
As per Miss Universe 1994 said in her winning answer to the question of "What's the essence of being a woman"
Just being a woman is God's gift that all of us must appreciate. The origin of a child is a mother, and is a woman. She shows a man what sharing, caring and loving is all about. That is the essence of a woman.
Quote from: April_TO on January 15, 2016, 02:01:14 PM
As per Miss Universe 1994 said in her winning answer to the question of "What's the essence of being a woman"
Just being a woman is God's gift that all of us must appreciate. The origin of a child is a mother, and is a woman. She shows a man what sharing, caring and loving is all about. That is the essence of a woman.
I rather like that, its very similar to how I've been viewing things.
I have this feeling that men take care of the practical matters of survival, and women give it a purpose.