so, thankffully at my current job we have a family bathroom i can use but im trying to get myself to the point where i can start using the female bathroom for when it is locked, and for after i transfer in the near future as the store that i am transfering to doesnt have one.
even though everyone at my store is accepting and management is supportive, but i just cant seem to be able to bring myself to actually use it.
im currently ~10 mo on hormones and pass decently.
im not even really sure what it is that is stopping me.
Do you have any work mates who would accompany you the first time? It may feel childish to you but I wish i knew someone just to walk through the door with for the first time, just in case...
it sounds like your work is the best place to get used to using the right room though. if you can be sure they'll be supportive, use the time there to 'practice'
It takes some getting used to as you will always be on the lookout. For me the tipping point was when I started getting bounced out of the men's.
Asking a supportive colleague to go with you is good. I had a few of mine offer to do so but I was already confident enough at that time so I didn't need to.
Now it's no big deal. I especially like that there is a huge lighted mirror that I can do my makeup with or fix my clothing. The men's doesn't have that. I hate that the ladies seems to be less maintained as paper towels run out faster. Then again I've seen most guys not wash their hands after using it. (Yuck). I don't shake any guy's hands now. Washing my hands is one reason I look forward to using the restroom - I can't stand having dirty hands.
It takes the correct mindset. You need to think I am going into the bathroom for only one reason and that is to go to the bathroom just like all the other women in there. Think of your first goal which is the stall. After you made that goal, your next goal is the sink and the last is the door. Try not to think of anything other than the goals and only think about one at a time.
Thinking about the other women in there is what makes you uncomfortable as this wouldn't bother you if you knew the rest room was empty and would remain empty while you were in there.
If you are out as a woman the idea of using the Mens room is far scarier.
Keep your eyes up, back straight and smile at anybody you encounter there.
Don't hunch your shoulders and look down or you look like you don't belong. As I was told early on, you are a woman now. Just own it. :-)
I went through this sorta recently, at first I would only use the bathroom if no one was in there, and was constantly afraid someone would confront me about it. Ok I was read to shout them down with legal defenses but still afraid it would become a issue. Not so much of a issue that I ever bothered to talk to management about it but still.
one sorta reassureing moment came a few weeks after I went full time when a female coworker approched me and said she had some advice for me, turns out her advice was that I should use the ladies room because I might confuse people in the mens room. I told her I had been using the ladies room sense day one of my transision.
Now it took a bit longer before the first time I used a public restroom not at work...and now 6 months later my anxiety over using the bathroom is no higher than it was before I transisioned. so success I guess.
so i guess my advice in short is "just keep doing it, like going out presenting female. At first it will seem scary and difficult but in no time it will get almost boring"
Serena
thankyou all, i managed to survive the whole work week last week without having to resort to the family bathroom. thankfully though it was empty in the ladies every time. till today. someone else was in a stall. so nervous.
i couldnt go XD. i got into a stall and tried to pee and couldnt. till after they got out and left.