I'm not sure if I'm posting in the right area but I've been hitting a road block. Basically, so far, I've talked to a therapist, I've gotten my letter so I can start HRT, and even have come out to my parents about this at the beginning of the month. So I found a doctor in Florida who does the HRT, and I've been trying to set up an appointment. Problem is, I need my mom to go with me, only because I'm still on her insurance and she doesn't want to give me the information. So yesterday, I was about to call to set up an appointment, and ask my mom what day would be good...and she immediately was like I don't think you're ready. I was like um why? And she says I need more therapy and need to wait a month so she can deal with my father who isn't taking it so well before I start, and she says that asking for me to go through extra therapy (Which she is coming up with issues I don't have to justify it), is perfectly reasonable and that all trans people go through this based on her five minutes of research. She went and said if I want her support I will have to wait and then even said I was making her choose between the man she married and me. She doesn't like how I'm all, this is going to happen whether you like it or not attitude. What should I do? My mom keeps acting like she's okay with this and then goes to this point of not being okay, and I'm stuck here not sure what to do, and the way she is acting makes me feel, rejected. I know it's probably just one of the stages of grief, but still I'm not sure how to deal with her or my father, and what I can do other than having to wait now just to make my mom happy.
It's a pretty tough situation since she controls the insurance. Has she spoken to your therapist? Maybe it would help if you made one more appointment and took her along so the therapist could explain things to her.
Sapere Aude
Quote from: Deborah on January 28, 2016, 06:01:29 PM
It's a pretty tough situation since she controls the insurance. Has she spoken to your therapist? Maybe it would help if you made one more appointment and took her along so the therapist could explain things to her.
Sapere Aude
She tried to email my therapist behind my back and my therapist contacted me, told me what she said. The therapist does want to set up a meeting with the three of us together so that she can explain and help my mom understand. The problem is, she thinks she completely understands what my challenges are and completely understands how I feel, and that I don't understand at all how she feels or my father feels, which simply isn't true. I know that it's hard on my father but is it right for me to sit here and wait until they come to terms and completely accept it, which that could be 1 month down the road or 6 months down the road, so should I have to wait until they are completely okay with it before I get to start, least that's how I'm taking it. My mom also doesn't like the name Scarlet and thinks she has the right to choose my name even though I'm 19, and the only reason she doesn't like the name is because of the book the Scarlet Letter...
Some of your options are to move out and make your own decisions. Get a job. Go to school. Get insurance through an employer. Or you could stay there and negotiate with them and do the counseling with them to help come to beneficial resolution in time. Or you can stay there and do nothing. How would you grade yourself on maturity, self-reliance and determination?
Quote from: genevie on January 28, 2016, 06:38:37 PM
Some of your options are to move out and make your own decisions. Get a job. Go to school. Get insurance through an employer. Or you could stay there and negotiate with them and do the counseling with them to help come to beneficial resolution in time. Or you can stay there and do nothing. How would you grade yourself on maturity, self-reliance and determination?
I would say I am pretty mature, strong determination, and my self-reliance, well I usually rely on myself 95% of the time to get things done. I currently am in college, been looking at jobs, applied to a few places, so I am trying to find alternatives, but I might have to buckle down and come to a resolution, because my mom is not willing to budge, and moving out in the next 6 months isn't viable at the current moment.
4 weeks isn't long. Just make your appointments for then. Having support is a great thing. If she goes back on her word about the 1 month. Then you know you have to take things into your own hands.
Quote from: Serenation on January 28, 2016, 07:31:53 PM
4 weeks isn't long. Just make your appointments for then. Having support is a great thing. If she goes back on her word about the 1 month. Then you know you have to take things into your own hands.
I'll talk to my mother and see if she will agree to that, because it makes the most sense, no reason to say no to that idea. Hugs thank you Serenation. I hope that your idea works :)