Hello, a quick introduction. I am a natal male who has been in a 3 way relationship with J&M for the past 11 years. J&M have been married for ~25 years. About 6 months ago J came out as Trans to us.
As the 3rd party, and obviously not heavily invested in a
"Traditional " relationship, I am having no problem with J.
For me, it is like seeing a new person come into the world.
Thier wife, however is having a lot of trouble.
She is loosing the man she married, and I have to remember this.
She sees the new "person " as an Evil twin, and wants the old one back.
Things are getting better, with counseling and time. But M. still is far from happy. She is imagining life without J.
For the last decade we have all gotten along together, along with a house full of art, home improvement projects, and animals. We all have our own contributions and the house runs pretty well with the 3 of us.
The dogs and I would be devastated if the house was broken up.
My main reason for joining this group is to help M find a natal female partner of a trans male to female person, so she can talk with them directly. She wants to find out how they have coped with the changes. She has read most of the book "Head over heels - stories of women who have stayed with transgendered and cross dressing men" but wishes to talk with a real person.
So here I am.
I'm a cis female partner of a trans woman, but don't think I'd be the best to talk to as I'm not really coping with it the best either. :( I don't think I will be able to stay with my partner...
but I just wanted to extend my sympathy to M because I know how hard it is for the partner sometimes. She can talk to me about it if she wants though since we are in similar situations (except I'm in a monogamous relationship, but still it's similar).
I hope that you all can find something that works and above all that everyone will be happy.
I'm sorry, but this is somewhat confusing , are you speaking figuratively or literally.
You might look at a lgbt center , there might be support groups for SO's of transgender people.
Same might be true for PFLAG.
There is also a chat on susans, you might talk to a few people there.
Here are a few resources that might help better understand:
http://www.gires.org.uk/assets/DOH-Assets/pdf/doh-transgender-experiences.pdf
http://www.acceptingdad.com/2013/08/05/to-the-unicorns-dad/
the last link is a viewpoint from a cisgender person.
There are studies showing being transgender has biological connections, listed in the first link.
There are differences in brains of women and men so a mistmatch is possible.
There are even substances known to cause a higher rate of transgender people. They are off the market now.
So its nobodys fault and how people really feel.
Its not healthy to hide it. Often depressions etc can be a result
Many transgender people feel more healthy and alive and simply like its who they are if they start to transition.
Well its a process which takes a few months ... so it might be possible to adapt...
and imo best is to talk to each other, about feelings and what really moves each one.
Imo its possible to stay partners ... or friends ...
hugs
Quote from: stephaniec on February 13, 2016, 12:59:15 PM
I'm sorry, but this is somewhat confusing , are you speaking figuratively or literally.
Its a poly relationship :)
hugs
Quote from: Laura_7 on February 13, 2016, 02:19:43 PMThere are even substances known to cause a higher rate of transgender people. They are off the market now.
Can you elaborate on this plz?
Quote from: Lcleo on March 11, 2016, 08:11:10 AM
Can you elaborate on this plz?
You can read more here and on the last page of the thread:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,84224.msg595777.html#msg595777
*hugs*
Quote from: Laura_7 on March 11, 2016, 08:39:51 AM
You can read more here and on the last page of the thread:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,84224.msg595777.html#msg595777
*hugs*
Thankies :)