I had a semi-acepting boss, (still employed). Yet after 2yrs and numerous attempts of explaing it to him I still get gendered incorectly, (even with two decent examples staring him in the face :P). My co-worker was not much better. I had tried everything I could think off sitting down and explaing to them, speaking in the third person using pronouns to correct them. showing them my I.D. none of this was working. What was becoming a problem for me was when they where addressing me around people who had meet me for the first time or new regulars as both would see me as female. Same with my older regulars no matter who many times they are corrected and told. I'm still "Good boy" "Thank you sir", "you're a gentleman" and "Monsiure".
This had me stressing out at work, coming home in an upset mood every other night and making work a place I generly did not like to be
So earlier this month I gave up so to speak (still transitioning, still living full time). I moved to a new location and am now seen as female by everyone :laugh:. Even with my employer checking over my work history, I'm Miss Gypsy to everyone staff and customers alike and my mental health has improved outer sight. I never new being seen as one of the girls at a workplace would be so much fun.
I love a positive story. Good for you!
Good for you Gypsy! It does feel great to be acknowledged correctly. As much as I love my kids and will always be their "Dad," I still love it when they call me Moni instead of "Dad." I will be coming out at work in a month. I am wondering if I will have a similar situation to what you had at work. Did you think it was done on purpose or was it laziness on their part?
Moni
Boss & co worker: Laziness, apathy and a mixture of I just can't be bothered.
Regulars: Ones I was able to tell some used correct pronouns for a while, then changed back to usual bad habits.
Interesting off site help would always use female pronouns (at the place I've left), even after they gave me a look and asked if they had seen me in a previous store from years ago. (8 stores in over 10 years).
I'm glad everything is better for you now; a fresh start at a new job can make all of the difference sometimes.
I'm glad you're doing better and finally having a positive experience. I know how frustrating this can be since I'm dealing with it too at my current job.
This morning my boss misgendered me in a meeting in front of about 10 colleagues, most of which I've been working on to get it right. I'm sure that sent a wonderful message to all of them about how to address me.
I get changing locations completely and am beginning to think about it myself. I'm glad to hear it has worked out for you!
Quote from: Emjay on February 09, 2016, 01:53:31 PM
I get changing locations completely and am beginning to think about it myself. I'm glad to hear it has worked out for you!
If you have the opportunity to, I strongly recommend transferring to a new location. You already know the job, you would just need to learn how the new place is run. (Different people, different area, different dynamic, different building).
I don't think that it is cowardly to move on when the circumstances are not right. If they cannot acknowledge their employees and their needs(within reason) they simply don't deserve their work.
A job like this does not worth the effort in the long run, they won't change and this can bring you down a lot.
Gypsy, I'm happy that you found a better place, Emjay, if you can find a new job I think it's worth a shot to try.
My coming out plans at work changed somewhat so I'm not out yet but I may face the same problem so I'm trying to make sure that I'll have a plan B when the time comes.
The most important lesson I learn about people is "What you see is all there is". People judge only on what they saw and seen... If you were always a woman to them, you'll never be any but that. If they saw you as a man, they think of you as just a man unless they could move pass that.
Quote from: immortal gypsy on February 09, 2016, 03:41:50 PM
If you have the opportunity to, I strongly recommend transferring to a new location. You already know the job, you would just need to learn how the new place is run. (Different people, different area, different dynamic, different building).
I'm considering that option myself. I want my records updated at my current job first, but I can see my coworkers having a very hard time with this. Some of them were friends on Facebook until the Caitlin Jenner thing hit the news and they suddenly turned into anti-trans activists. I'm hoping I can just switch projects in the same company or at the very least retain enough contacts to find employment elsewhere.