My first thought of dressing the way I should be dressed in public was at the age of 4 years old. It took me until I was around 35 years old to actually step outside the door and into bright day light as my self. I was in hiding since 4 years old to 35 years old. I hid from everyone and was brutally ashamed , but now I'm free and it's so good. I felt like a criminal , but committed no crime.
I cant say when my first thought was... I used to try on my moms clothes when I was less than 10... but I had no reference to know what I was thinking. I first went out at 34 or so. But I cheated... it was at night to a alt bar on trans nite. I drove my car from my garage and at night.... so no light of day. Two things happened that night. I ran into a gay man who worked at my small towns only grocery store and who saw me every day or so. I also locked my keys in my car in front of the bar, so at closing when everyone is leaving, Im outside in a dress and huge heels which I had no business wearing, trying to kick my window in so I could get off the street, I never went out again dressed until recently 14 years later... now I go out a couple times a week, but usually 30 minutes plus from home.
that's definitely a bummer
Quote from: stephaniec on February 12, 2016, 06:15:08 PM
My first thought of dressing the way I should be dressed in public was at the age of 4 years old. It took me until I was around 35 years old to actually step outside the door and into bright day light as my self. I was in hiding since 4 years old to 35 years old. I hid from everyone and was brutally ashamed , but now I'm free and it's so good. I felt like a criminal , but committed no crime.
I know it isn't a competition but I think I have you beat. I figure about four years old as well to start. Fast forward 54 years to this year. After multiple partially dressed attempts I finally committed to what I call the "full Moni." This meant carrying a purse. To me, this was a declaration that I was owning it. It feels good doesn't it girls! My mountain of shame has been replaced by a little caution (eye toward safety) and a whole lot of joy. I surprise myself with how fast I have progressed. Last week I walked through a festival with a few hundred people and was fine. You are right Stephanie, we committed no crime.
Moni
I can't say for sure when my first thought was, but when I figured out what was happening, it took about 2 months. Just to therapy, a drive thru, and home..m but it was pretty great and terrifying.
the first time is a bitch
The dressing aspect has never featured much in my identification as female. From an early age... 5 or 6... I just knew I didn't identify as a boy and didn't want to treated or segregated as such. But too bad for what I wanted, right? Anyway, the first time I did go out in public dressed female would have been sometime in 1990, age 24... I went out with a group of gal pals. It was a fairly awesome night, not that I can remember much of it. But the awesome factor had more to do with feeling like one of the girls than it did with what I was wearing.
Omg, years and years. Maybe 20? I tried on my mom's dress when I was a teen. I was disappointed by how masculine I looked in it, so I didn't do that again. But then one day, I had to borrow my wife's clothes. They felt 'right' in some way I couldn't describe, but when I looked in the mirror... disappointment was the most dominant emotion I felt. Again. Weird.
As an adult, it didn't take me long. I dressed cute around the house some, but then my wife wanted to go out on a walk. I didn't want to change, so I didn't. I don't remember if I was considering it crossdressing or genderbending at that point, but it had only been a few weeks... all I remember is hating the idea that I should be ashamed.
I wasn't ashamed, so I didn't act like it.
The first time i actually womaned up was when I was married. My wife helped me into some skinny jeans, and I had a hello kitty graphic tee and all that.
Well that only really lasted a week and partially due to not identifying myself female as of yet.
Other than that, it was about the time I was finding myself out, as to when I started small with a few pairs of skinny jeans, then added more wardrobe, had and still have skirts though I don't wear them much outside.
Currently I double bra to get my shape, and other then that, and I have about 99% of my wardrobe female wear, the one suit I do have that's not female is one that cost nearly $3000 so I can't just toss that out.
The time I did go out in a skirt, well didn't really go too bad, but I disliked the reaction from a few co workers that they had compared me to the Tongan men, that have their cultural wraps and all. So as per that situation, I dont go out in my skirts anymore.
And this all started when I was 28, and if I remember right when I did dress, when I was married, that was I think when I was 26.
Kate <3
I been stealing and wearing mom's stuff since early elementary school, secretly ofc. Went on to start wearing her underwear, bra and panties, round the house and out in the yard prolly a few years later till I sorta got caught (I know my brother found out but he swears he doesn't remember the incident).
Around 20, maybe a bit before or after not sure, started undressing again, usually in winter (easy to hide under big heavy coat).
Wasn't till round 25 or so that I got the idea to go out in public dressed as a girl. Bought a bunch of cheap stuff, drove like 1600 miles away from home (so wouldn't be found out bout back home, lol...), then chickened out cuz I looked and felt like crap.
I was 30 or 31 before ever went anywhere in public or let anyone see at all that way..
Took me about a month to month and a half.
I started with dressing neck down, kinda in stealth. Women's clothes breast forms, but bulky male jacket so I could shop. Only ones who "appeared" to notice were sales persons I interacted with.
First time truly out was going through a drive through dressed including wig, makeup and a skirt. For some reason I was terrified. They noticed, but didn't say anything.
Now, I've been out several times, including in a nice skirt and heels, and love every minute of it.
First time just last year. Encouraged to do so by some wonderful ladies I met online. We went out for dinner and to a CD frindly club. After a while I stopped worrying about how I looked.
In the context of the club that was easy. I am far from RLE or full time but those little outings help build my confidence no end.
When out I attracted the attention of a guy on the street who was interested in me. After that I started wondering what I was looking for in a partner. Now though I would be wary of men who are attracted to trans women.
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I started dressing in private around 2007 - 2008 and switched from male daily wear to female daily wear last summer.
I never identified as male, I just felt that I should have lived as a girl not as a boy. However, unlike most of you girls I never had the urge to dress as female until a year and a half ago. At that time I realized that I could not continue to live hiding myself behind the role which had been assigned to me when I was born and which I had played all my life. I then began to buy female clothes and to dress as a woman at home. The first time I went out in public dressed as a woman was a few months ago some time after starting HRT. It was great!
I was 9 when I first realized something was up. I was 50 the first time I went out in public. That's 41 years..
Jen
From when I first figured out that I needed to transition to when I went out (with my wife) dressed as a woman for the first time... was about three months, I think. But I moved fast once I realized what I wanted; I was fully transitioned 11 months from that first moment. I guess I didn't want to waste any more time.
Privately, I would occasionally dress. I hadn't even done that for probably 15 years, until the fall of 2014. In late December 2014 I went out for the very fist time in my life as female. I was 53. In February I started counseling, March hormones, May name and gender change and by June I was full time.
Does anyone else get angry about the job the world does on our brains that the world will collapse if we go out in public as ourselves? I get upset with myself for not realizing that the shear terror I felt the first few times would dissipate so quickly. To all you people out there thinking about going out as yourself, "DO IT." It is wonderful. Life is too short, live and breathe as your authentic self.
Sorry, I am now breathing in a bag. Calming... calming! Agh crud, "DO IT."
Moni
it took me way too long
From age 4 to age 48 so it was 44 years. Second day ever in public and I was walking into the Hard Rock Cafe on Peachtree Street in Atlanta. I was with a large group of transgender people from Southern Comfort and the Hard Rock knew we were coming. In fact, a lot of the wait staff was crossdressed for the evening. Some of them were way too good at it! ;)
Quote from: stephaniec on February 13, 2016, 07:16:11 PM
it took me way too long
This. True that.
I could claim I did it twice before but they don't count. I was tempted and borrowed stuff since 8-9 but did not clearly understand why.
1- when I was 16ish (it was the middle of the night and no one was around)
2-late 30s went to a party dressed in a beautiful black lace overlay dress. the under layer was red satin, pumps, and a barrette(my hair was below my shoulder at the time- I was part of 2 couples who had been tricked to cross dress by my brother-t almost counted when I realized how much I loved it but I did not have the realization at the time)
Now I am hoping to within the month.
Ultimately, yes, too long.
Joanna
Figured out at 15 I wanted to be female went in to self denial untill 30 then truer to be gay that was empowering and helped for two years then dressed for pride in Vancouver felt so uncomfortable I left to soon and cried went out a couple more times all night Vancouver has a big q munnity was incredibly frightening but also great, heartbreaking to think I could stop and how hard this will be makes me want to