Grace recently posted a thread about getting called sir. Well tonight I went out to dinner with my girlfriend for a romantic pre-valentines day dinner. After dinner I had to stop at a store to get a couple of SD cards for my camera so I can take pictures for an AIDS charity tomorrow at the Los Angeles Marathon. I walked up to a couple of clerks who were talking to each other to ask where the SD cards were located. The female clerk looked in my direction and said "can I help you sir." I'm sure I had a very surprised look on my face and she quickly corrected herself, but it left me feeling that maybe I'm not looking as female as I think. So here is how I was dressed. What do you think, am I not looking female?
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi79.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fj142%2FJessie-Ann15%2FMobile%2520Uploads%2F6AF707E3-F70E-4A0B-8037-7DEFD102D1CB_zpsweiway9o.jpg&hash=232493bd20aac5f6f4f5e241cf4dc80b4c6717a6) (http://s79.photobucket.com/user/Jessie-Ann15/media/Mobile%20Uploads/6AF707E3-F70E-4A0B-8037-7DEFD102D1CB_zpsweiway9o.jpg.html)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi79.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fj142%2FJessie-Ann15%2FMobile%2520Uploads%2F3E22BFA0-7D74-47D8-9C4F-46B103D83D69_zpsj3j4ou8m.jpg&hash=8d5fe84cbe5882aed6a5fd76ff4f7276d6644b4d) (http://s79.photobucket.com/user/Jessie-Ann15/media/Mobile%20Uploads/3E22BFA0-7D74-47D8-9C4F-46B103D83D69_zpsj3j4ou8m.jpg.html)
That is unbelievable!
There was a movie called 'Dumb and Dumber' maybe they were making a remake?
is there a medical marijuana store nearby
At least she did apologize. But that doesn't rectify that she did have the slip to begin with.
Kate <3
Yep, join the club!
Ummmmmmmmm.................very strange. I'm sure an eye test could put things right....
:'(....
you look great to me!
Sir? Only though in my head is a blind associate... At least they corrected their self but the damage is done.
You look good so don't worry about it to much. Sometimes people make honest mistakes.
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Quote from: Jessie Ann on February 14, 2016, 01:14:25 AM
What do you think, am I not looking female?
Well, I'm an honest B and you're looking for honest answers Jessie,
As I've even said in this (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,203450.msg1809346.html#msg1809346) thread, to quote myself, "You're completely and unquestionably passable now" and I don't ever lie about someone passing and your face and presentation look good but in the second pic here your frame does indeed look masculine; broad upper body. The shawl may have accentuated an area that you (we, really) don't want to accentuate. IIRC, you are pretty tall too?? So I think at a quick glance the cashier may (just like I think what happened in Graces thread too!) have just made an abrupt judgment call.
So sorry this happened; it can be a crushing feeling :'(
I'm sure it was my size that caused the comment. She corrected herself quickly and even came back by the register while I was checking out to say she was sorry. I joked that she probably didn't see 6'2" women in heels everyday and we both laughed. I know who I am and I know that I will probably always be misgendered every now and then. As long as it's not malicious I won't let it bother me too much. Thanks ladies! ❤️
U look great hope I can get so passable :/ also over 6 foot makes me afraid of heels though
I think either she realize you were trans and wanted to insult... Or stupid. You look like Jessica Rabbit.
Honestly, you look fab, there could be a strong possibility that it was a non t related slip up. When I was in basic training I slipped up and called my very very muscle bound DI "ma'am". I was just jumbled and didn't think before I spoke. Needless to say I was in the pit for a few hours. But to sum it up they could have just made an honest to goodness slip of the toungue.
signed~
♤Kirsten Danielle xoxo
Unbelievable.
Honestly I think you simply can't pass for a man right now even if you try very hard to. You look female 100%.
You completely pass. They must have been half awake or something. Hugs
Mariah
Hon,
I'm sorry you went through that. It can feel a bit defeating, I'm sure. But I think you handled it correctly. And there are many tall women...maybe not in L.A. as much but they do exist! There are so many parameters that may throw people off. For instance, when I didn't have my voice down, I was constantly being sir'd even when I was in full girlie mode while transitioning. Or sometimes, I was clocked (this was like my first year out), because of my stride and posture. And then sometimes, it was because people wanted to be wankers. Luckily, I haven't been clocked in a few. But as some of the girls say here, it might have been they were not paying too much attention to you and honestly screwed up. Still, it can hurt a little and for all it's worth I'm sending my own hugs your way.
Remember YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!
By looking at you no way would I see anything but woman all the way. You look great. Could your voice have thrown her off?
No way it was my voice because I hadn't said anything yet, I just walked up to the counter where they were standing. It has to have just been my size. With my heels I was probably 6'5". I'm pretty sure that's what threw her off.
Quote from: pj on February 16, 2016, 08:01:08 AM
By looking at you no way would I see anything but woman all the way. You look great. Could your voice have thrown her off?
OK Jessie Ann, come clean. How tall are you? Wearing 6 inch F*** Me heels?
You have a very pretty face. But very tall folks like us just stand out.
I went through an awful period getting sired even after giving people my name 'Anne'.
My deep stealth friends tell me it's all about hiding the mass. At times they too struggle to blend in so they don't get sired.
So (a needle pulling tread), it's black, black and more black for me.
When an incident such as this occurs it might be time to evaluate what might have outed you rather then blame them for noticing something might have been off.
You are younger in your transition then me. I find I'm still learning a ton everyday.
Thank you for sharing,
Love,
Anne
Added: Here's a look at how ->-bleeped-<-ty my sired problem got before it got better: youtu.be/l7R7TQhISSo
EOM
Lol no 5" heels for me that night. They were only 4" :o It was the black sweater, my massive shoulders and my height that caused her to say what she did. I wear what I like and sometimes that requires me to pay a certain price.
I know I have a lot of weight and muscle mass to lose before I will feel fully comfortable (and not to mention a certain appendage also). But all in all I am gendered correctly 99% of the time. There are cis women who probably get misgendered more than me.
As I said, I am comfortable with who I am and how I appear. I know I can be better and with time that will come. Thanks everyone ❤️❤️❤️