Hello everyone!
So the past couple of weeks I've made some serious progress with feeling better about myself, all thanks to my therapist. In a nutshell, I was overwhelmed with so much clutter in my mind and my therapist just kept shooting my worries down, until I had a really bad night about 2 weeks ago and after much tears, and talking with my therapist 2 days in a row.. I'm starting to actually feel really good!
I was able to work up the courage to meet with the LGBTQ Director at my school and inform her of my trans-identity. I actually sat outside her office and decided to reschedule, before deciding against it, it was very difficult for me. I was worried people would see me in the resource center and ask questions later why I was there... But surprisingly, no one even looked at me.
The director was immensely accepting and helped me get signed up with a mentoring program where they will pair me with a transwoman in my area who has already fully transitioned that will meet with me once or twice a week to talk about whatever and ask questions. It may take a few weeks as I guess she wants to pair me with someone that is near my age (27), vice someone younger. She also introduced me to a very cute transman that works on the Staff at my University, who was also very accepting.
I was so worried I would be freaked out after the meeting but surprisingly, I feel an extreme sense of calm.. Like everything was going to be okay.
Next step is hormones- I can't wait!
Glad to hear it went well for you! It's amazing how worked up we can get about those kind of meetings...and then how much better we feel afterwards!
I still haven't yet attended my queer club at school, although I came out to my counselor and advisor when I took care of the administrative part of my name change. Congrats on getting the ball rolling! It's really intimidating coming out at first, but it eventually becomes more tedious than anxiety inspiring.
Hugs,
- Katie
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Yes, I think the biggest thing that I was surprised about was how good I felt afterwards. I was so worried that I'd have anxiety about it later, but instead I was just calm inside. All the sudden I felt like it wasn't just me holding this on my own.
And I just got my letter from my therapist... :)
Congratulations. The hard part is over and that is telling the first person. It does get a little easier each time and eventually it won't be as much of an issue any more.
It sounds like you have a great support system and that will be of great help as you travel further to discovering the real you.
Good luck and peace to you.
Love,
Clare
Sounds like a great program! They sure didn't have that when I was in school!
Thank you all for the kind words!
I'm super-hopeful about everything and I can't wait to come out completely. As of right now, I'm just feeling so good, so I'm just trying to hold onto that feeling for as long as possible.