I've been going out dressed as a woman in public almost every day for the last month now, and everything had been going so well, until the other day, when a sales clerk called me "sir". Now I just feel devastated I know its minor and will happen many times in my life now but I cant stop thinking about it.
I needed to go to the pharmacy for my medicine, I thought I was dressed in casual female cloths, with my good wig, even if I wasnt wearing makeup, but my cloths and breast(padded) were covered up under a very heavy 3 sizes too big for me male winter coat. When I asked for my medicine I forgot to first say Bobbie, I just lowered my voice to tell her my male name under which my prescription is.
When we finished the transaction she probably had no other clues to my gender but either my birth name or my long hair and said "Thank you, Sir" but I was shocked at first.
I know I made a lot of mistakes with this, and probably shouldn't have expected anything different if Id really thought about my presentation.
But I've lost a lot of my confidence, I'm not seeing the girl in the mirror anymore, and in general not feeling like my feminine self now.
How do you get past these setbacks? Last week I was thinking about when I'd be ready for my RLT, now I'm thinking I'm not strong enough for this.
You've listed quite a few reasons there why you may have been misgendered - especially using your male name. Also, if you are wearing casual clothes, especially ones that may cover up your curves, plus no makeup or other accessories there is always a risk that misgendering will happen. Even when you're going all out it can stil happen. Heck, I got misgendered dressed like this (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,203497.0.html) recently!
How to get past it? Chalk it up to experience, learn from it, and move on. Don''t let it get you down. If it doesn't happen often then see that as a generally positive sign and the occasional is just an anomaly.
Thank you Grace,
Intellectually I know your right, I shouldn't be hard on myself for this. But emotionally it still hurts.
I'm going to dress well today and get back out there.
And No way you should have been misgendered like that, thank you for sharing, I love your dress.
Well I went out over the weekend, at first I was nervous like I was starting over, but that soon passed and everything went smooth. Even went to a couple events with old friends didnt know I'm Trans, felt great to come OUT to them.
Great. See, it hurts at the time but if you don't let it bug you it's pretty easy to move on from it.
And thanks, I like that dress too!! ;D