Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transitioning => Coming out of the closet => Topic started by: KathyLauren on February 21, 2016, 08:15:43 PM

Title: Plan B
Post by: KathyLauren on February 21, 2016, 08:15:43 PM
I was planning to use the showing of The Danish Girl at the local theatre as a starting poing for my coming out conversation with my wife.  Having a specific date was helping me to get psyched up for it.  Now they have cancelled the showing.

So, I'm going to have to wing it and just jump in out of the blue.  That's going to be much harder.  *sigh* I am afraid I will procrastinate.
Title: Re: Plan B
Post by: Jacqueline on February 22, 2016, 12:33:00 AM
Want us to pester you till you do?

I can be very helpful ;)

Joanna
Title: Re: Plan B
Post by: Ms Grace on February 22, 2016, 05:03:27 AM
It may be for the best, I can't comment on how good a talking point that movie might be since I've not seen it... but even so there's a good chance it might not have been the springboard you were looking for. Plus it might have led to your wife feeling ambushed or manipulated. Better to just be out with it.
Title: Re: Plan B
Post by: Claire_Sydney on February 22, 2016, 06:17:54 AM

Quote from: Ms Grace on February 22, 2016, 05:03:27 AM
It may be for the best, I can't comment on how good a talking point that movie might be since I've not seen it... but even so there's a good chance it might not have been the springboard you were looking for.

[ Spoiler Alert ]

Well, I guess there are pros and cons.

Pro - it proves how love can indeed transcend all gender and sexuality.

Con - I'm not sure if the finale involving the painful  death of a trans individual in a failed SRS surgery is the best precursor for a coming out conversation with a loved one.

Still, the movie is a bit less harrowing and morbid than the book !
Title: Re: Plan B
Post by: Ms Grace on February 22, 2016, 01:19:15 PM
Yes, that's what I thought was the case.
Title: Re: Plan B
Post by: KathyLauren on February 22, 2016, 02:22:25 PM
Good points, all.  I know what I have to do.  Just gotta do it...
Title: Re: Plan B
Post by: Claire_Sydney on February 22, 2016, 04:17:34 PM
Let us know how you go Kathy.

Best of luck.
Title: Re: Plan B
Post by: Lilian J on February 22, 2016, 06:00:04 PM
I tried to passively get a conversation going for nearly 6 months with no success then wrote a detailed coming out letter and carried it in my pocket for 2 weeks building myself up then being relieved when a distraction came a long .

Finally I broke down in tears on new years eve and had a full on anxiety attack and my wife overheard and came to see what was wrong. Not how I'd planned it but she's been super positive and supportive.

Best of luck.