I'm considering to come out to my mother that I'm transsexual by telling about my gender dysphoria within 1 or 2 weeks. Although there's no guarantee that I'll succeed with the coming out, but I felt like mentioning this somewhere.
Things related to transsexuality and transgender have rarely been discussed in this household, so it's a little difficult to predict of possibly reactions. I have been told that I would be accepted if I were homosexual, but I don't think anything certain has been said about what it would be like if I came out transsexual. It's likely that my mother would say that it's all right that I'm transsexual, but predictions about this matter are a bit difficult to make.
I doubt that I've showed many signs of being transsexual, but some few signs probably.
Any advice or what I should be prepared of is welcome here. :)
Quote from: Tajgapriroda on February 23, 2016, 12:57:49 PM
I'm considering to come out to my mother that I'm transsexual by telling about my gender dysphoria within 1 or 2 weeks. Although there's no guarantee that I'll succeed with the coming out, but I felt like mentioning this somewhere.
Things related to transsexuality and transgender have rarely been discussed in this household, so it's a little difficult to predict of possibly reactions. I have been told that I would be accepted if I were homosexual, but I don't think anything certain has been said about what it would be like if I came out transsexual. It's likely that my mother would say that it's all right that I'm transsexual, but predictions about this matter are a bit difficult to make.
I doubt that I've showed many signs of being transsexual, but some few signs probably.
Any advice or what I should be prepared of is welcome here. :)
I am a bit biased here because of how things turned out for me. I came out to my mother and Father last September and since then things have been very strained and my mother will only speak to me superficially and then only briefly. She had spun me the same line about if you were gay I would accept you no matter what however being a Transsexual is a huge difference to being gay. I get you may be hoping that blanket "I'll love you no matter what" extends to your situation? Don't be too surprised if it doesn't.
My Parents are in their 70's and they have actually got worse as time has gone along and my father whom I thought was an ally has disappeared from all communication. I would usually skype him once a week but haven't had any contact for the last month which was when I had to explain to him yet again that I was going to socially transition as a minimum and I think he finally understood. My wife and Daughters are hugely supportive which is a real blessing.
I was not prepared for the underhanded rejection by my mother or the later rejection by my Father and it has taken me quite some time to start to get over it and move on. Be prepared just in case their reaction is not what you expect.
Good Luck
Elizabeth K
We have coming out letters in Wiki that you could review and I suggest that you attempt to write a coming out letter even if you don't intend on using it. It will help organize your thoughts and if you feel you need more information, you can return here and ask questions. Any coming out letter I would have written would be really obsolete by now but I needed one for the site when dealing with difficult parents. The link will take you to it. Feel free to borrow from it if you find the information useful.
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,190312.0.html
Sweetie.
Whose life you living yours or your moms? Mom has had the life of her choice. Now it is time for you to live yours. It's not about body parts, and dresses. It's about what is in your heart. You will remain the same person. Hormones will help you look at things from another perspective. Breasts and testicles are not the only differences. Not everything has to be a war or sports contests. Women are just so much more interesting then men. In my opinion. I kept my secret for over 45 years, then I was just so mad at the world. I knew who and what I wanted to be. So I told my wife, told my doctor, talked to a therapist. Planning on going public next month. Really an interesting three weeks. You too will be glad you did. Why feel guilty about being who you are?
I told my mom 16yrs ago and showed her later Cheryl at first she wanted too know who I was told her,your son,she likes Cheryl but my sister's and their husbands don't except. So I know how hard it is too come out5to family.
I could probably start a talk with my mother about transgender-related topics by mentioning a documentary about transgender people which I've watched and then try to tell about what I know about transsexuality.
Quote from: ElizabethK on February 23, 2016, 02:39:42 PM
I am a bit biased here because of how things turned out for me. I came out to my mother and Father last September and since then things have been very strained and my mother will only speak to me superficially and then only briefly. She had spun me the same line about if you were gay I would accept you no matter what however being a Transsexual is a huge difference to being gay. I get you may be hoping that blanket "I'll love you no matter what" extends to your situation? Don't be too surprised if it doesn't.
My Parents are in their 70's and they have actually got worse as time has gone along and my father whom I thought was an ally has disappeared from all communication. I would usually skype him once a week but haven't had any contact for the last month which was when I had to explain to him yet again that I was going to socially transition as a minimum and I think he finally understood. My wife and Daughters are hugely supportive which is a real blessing.
I was not prepared for the underhanded rejection by my mother or the later rejection by my Father and it has taken me quite some time to start to get over it and move on. Be prepared just in case their reaction is not what you expect.
Good Luck
Elizabeth K
I agree that being transsexual is a lot different than being gay, so I have taken into consideration that the blanket might not extend to that situation as well.
I'd describe my mother as a tolerant person and the relations between us are good. It's likely that she would be supportive when I've explained everything needed after when I've came out.
I take into consideration to be prepared of possibly negative reactions.
Thank you! :)
Quote from: Dena on February 23, 2016, 02:58:02 PM
We have coming out letters in Wiki that you could review and I suggest that you attempt to write a coming out letter even if you don't intend on using it. It will help organize your thoughts and if you feel you need more information, you can return here and ask questions. Any coming out letter I would have written would be really obsolete by now but I needed one for the site when dealing with difficult parents. The link will take you to it. Feel free to borrow from it if you find the information useful.
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,190312.0.html
A letter seems to be a very good idea in many aspects, I'll take a look there. It could perhaps be good to write the coming-out-letter and then leave home for an hour or two, so no jumping on conclusions are made. But it might feel a bit better that I'm present at home during that moment.
Quote from: DawnOday on February 23, 2016, 03:24:49 PM
Sweetie.
Whose life you living yours or your moms? Mom has had the life of her choice. Now it is time for you to live yours. It's not about body parts, and dresses. It's about what is in your heart. You will remain the same person. Hormones will help you look at things from another perspective. Breasts and testicles are not the only differences. Not everything has to be a war or sports contests. Women are just so much more interesting then men. In my opinion. I kept my secret for over 45 years, then I was just so mad at the world. I knew who and what I wanted to be. So I told my wife, told my doctor, talked to a therapist. Planning on going public next month. Really an interesting three weeks. You too will be glad you did. Why feel guilty about being who you are?
Yeah, I agree, I'm still the same person, so that might be important to say when I come out. I would be very glad if I came out, so that's a good motivation to keep in mind.
Quote from: cheryl reeves on February 23, 2016, 03:36:42 PM
I told my mom 16yrs ago and showed her later Cheryl at first she wanted too know who I was told her,your son,she likes Cheryl but my sister's and their husbands don't except. So I know how hard it is too come out5to family.
Yeah, it's quite much about hoping for the best reactions when coming out to family.
Thanks! :)
Coming out in person or remaining while the letter is read is the best path because it re enforces how deeply you feel about this. If distance were an issue, then a letter or phone call would be acceptable. It's showing maturity to face an issue head on and that will make your message more effective.
I managed to come out. It went well and my mother was supportive of me. :D
I came out in person by showing her on my computer pictures of other transwomen from Youtube and then I said something that could be interpreted as I have the same gender identity as them. I also showed a part of a transition time line video to show more of what it means having gender dysphoria similar to my case.
I also explained a little about what I know and what processes that are involved in transitioning.
She asked me of how long I have felt this and she might be a bit worried about the physical transition and might find this weird and unfamiliar, but she's still supportive.
I appreciate all your advice very much, thank you! :)