Have you ever wondered if you're talking to much about your transgender problems or life experiences
so much so you've become repetitive along with this wave of what's next? What is it that you use to brake out of that cycle that your brain puts you in while you're trying to comprehend things others may already.
Quote from: Midnightstar on March 06, 2016, 02:52:01 AM
Have you ever wondered if you're talking to much about your transgender problems or life experiences
so much so you've become repetitive along with this wave of what's next? What is it that you use to brake out of that cycle that your brain puts you in while you're trying to comprehend things others may already.
A trans friend and I came up with a name for this. We called it "Gender Identity Preoccupation". It's the gendered part of your brain asserting itself and making itself heard in ways you can't ignore.
It may help to get involved in stuff you like to do or finding ways to bring joy to others. It also may help to keep a list of the next steps you plan to take in your transition, and every time you feel yourself stuck, think of this list and remind yourself you're on the path you need to be on.
I hope this helps.
I think it is typical early on in transition or soon after you've realized that you're trans to struggle to think or talk about anything else. It's difficult because once you realize and have a word that explains things, you want to shout it from the rooftops and learn everything you can about it.
What I found worked for me was to do research - learn about what was available to transmen who were transitioning in terms of hormones, surgeries, etc., and make a general plan for my transition. It alleviated a lot of stress and worry, as I knew what I needed to focus on at each phase.
I also found it helpful to get connected with other trans people who were further along in their transitions and were happy to answer questions. Forums like this, support groups, other online groups, or just other people you know - all good resources. I've found that talking to people who are further along keeps me grounded in the present and provides a sense of hope when things look bleak.
It was really simple for me in hindsight.
In short after six months of obsessing I finally started doing something else (underdressing all the time by that point). Those things and journaling my thoughts let my mind be free of how trans was affecting me. Still somewhat of an obsession but it's not everything I think about.
Boys or girls are great distraction. Lol
With Love
Ashley.
At a point I realized I needed to fully transition which I knew would mean divorce. I am transitioning and in the process of divorce. I used all the information I learned obsessing on trans and scheduled 2 surgeries. Things are getting better all the time. I'm am incorporating different thought processed from obsessing to planning and doing.
Quote from: suzifrommd on March 06, 2016, 05:19:15 AM
A trans friend and I came up with a name for this. We called it "Gender Identity Preoccupation". It's the gendered part of your brain asserting itself and making itself heard in ways you can't ignore.
It may help to get involved in stuff you like to do or finding ways to bring joy to others. It also may help to keep a list of the next steps you plan to take in your transition, and every time you feel yourself stuck, think of this list and remind yourself you're on the path you need to be on.
I hope this helps.
Thank you, this helps a lot. I tend to get stuck in cycles of preoccupation where all I can think about is how much longer I've got to go [with things like electrolysis, voice training], before I feel comfortable presenting as a woman in public. I'm sure it will help to keep my mind not just on what's next, but also on the steps I've already taken successfully.
Like many others... I started working on the problem, and that made the pain go away. Transition seems to be the right choice for me, so I'm transitioning. I'm rather genderfluid, but at least that doesn't hurt most of the time now.
That's a good term. preoccupation. I'm working through therapy, and have not decided to transition yet. I've been challenged with co-managing these thoughts with business, family and being "in" the present with people I'm around, etc. It seems like some times are more intense than others, but I'm trying to identify what triggers the different thoughts to help maintain some balance.