On one of my recent posts regarding my current relationship and its ability to last through transitioning, a user commented that occasionally sexual orientation will change after going on HRT. I really haven't been able to find many cases of this, and the thought of it worries me, especially considering how happy I am with my partner. Anybody had this happen or know more about it? Specifically if your orientation changed on T, but I'd like to hear from anyone who has had to deal with this.
thanks
-- Sebastian
Well, I can only speak for myself. When I started transitioning and got on HRT (estrogen in my case), I vowed I was a lesbian and that I would only be attracted to women. I had been attracted to only women for my entire life and had no interest in men at all. I found the idea disgusting to be honest. After about six months on HRT I noticed the idea of being with a man kept creeping into my brain. Slowly the idea seemed more natural. Now I'm exclusively attracted to men, and while I don't discount that I could be with a woman if she were the one, I don't seek out a relationship with women at all. I'm mostly just envious of them for looking much better than I do, lol. As I understand it, HRT is a giant mystery for each person and there really is no roadmap to follow. Things happen or don't. Your tastes change, or stay the same. It's different for everyone. I also know plenty of trans men and women who's orientation did not change as a result of HRT. I hope this helps somehow. Have a pleasant night!
~Evelyn
no i don't think your sexual orientation would change. but it's more likely that you'll be open to the idea of the sex which you was totally not interested before starting HRT.
i don't think i'm ever attracted to men but lots of gay guys, friends and non friends have been throwing me flirts a lot. they say they would "totally tap that". lol. which sound so funny to me. and now i'm just only 2 months on T, but i finally accept the idea that i'm attracted to feminine gay guys. i'm just not interested in sex with men. but that's me :}
Mine really hasn't changed at all. Since I'm married I don't have any desire to stray outside of that and doubt I ever will. But I have always been attracted to men, but not as a man. I do not find that idea appealing at all. So, it's a complicated and confusing thing.
Sapere Aude
I was not gay as a male and now I'm not gay as a female..can't figure it out but I'm up for whatever happens.
I believe that my orientation developed rather than just changed. Before transition I was a closet bisexual and only openly talked about liking girls. Since beginning transition, I have become more easy going and open about my attraction to guys also. I originally had issues with the male species but I have been learning to be okay with them around, and my sexuality has benefited from it too.
Quote from: Greeneyes on March 16, 2016, 01:45:21 AM
When I started transitioning and got on HRT (estrogen in my case), I vowed I was a lesbian and that I would only be attracted to women. I had been attracted to only women for my entire life and had no interest in men at all. I found the idea disgusting to be honest. After about six months on HRT I noticed the idea of being with a man kept creeping into my brain.
This has been my experience as well. I am seven months into HRT. I don't think HRT can change your sexual orientation, but it can broaden it a bit! :)
~Terri
Mine hasn't changed - but it has become more concentrated and I've found it easier to express it. It's actually quite rare for your sexual attraction to change, but it does occasionally happen so it's best to keep an open mind and just accept whatever happens.
Transitioning has made me more keen to explore my innate sexuality in ways that I never could before. I still like the same sort of stuff I always have, and I'm still exclusively attracted to men - the difference is I now feel much more confident to try out new things and to experiment with whatever (and whoever) takes my fancy. I still have hang-ups (lol) about downstairs, but I'm hoping that bottom surgery will take care of that and leave me even freer to enjoy myself.
Dan Savage once described the closeted teenage years of adolescence and young adulthood as, avoiding staring at or checking out men so much his eyes hurt. For me, it was also very uncomfortable to be in the locker room with changing guys or in the bathroom with them. Before transition, I never let myself entertain the idea of dating or being with a man, I was too busy trying to seem male to everyone. I don't think sexual orientation changes per se, but I never examined my own feelings before I was comfortable in my own skin. Hormones just helped me get to the the comfortable place where I could figure things out.
Before, I dated masculine women, now I know I'm bi but primarily attracted to men. I often say I'm attracted to masculinity, regardless of the packaging.
Hugs,
- Katie
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Quote from: Obfuskatie on March 16, 2016, 07:35:41 AM
I often say I'm attracted to masculinity, regardless of the packaging.
I think this is more what I meant. Thank you for somehow being in my head. Also, the whole I was busy trying to be male also resonates heavily with me. So maybe that is more what happened with me too. Idk.
P.S. I love your username Katie!
~Evelyn
Quote from: Greeneyes on March 16, 2016, 07:42:38 AM
I think this is more what I meant. Thank you for somehow being in my head. Also, the whole I was busy trying to be male also resonates heavily with me. So maybe that is more what happened with me too. Idk.
P.S. I love your username Katie!
~Evelyn
Ty ;)
I will say, I first figured it out because of sex dreams that became a lot more frequent and vivid as I had begun to have a fuller image of myself. It wasn't until I had been transitioning for a while that I remembered dreams I had had a long time ago that I'd buried in shame. I also didn't really understand that it wasn't normal to daydream about making out with your guy friends. Sooooo, yeah I was a bit repressed trying to be "normal."
Hugs,
- Katie
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Pre-HRT, I did eventually consider myself bi, but only slightly. I never got with a guy, and at the time I liked more feminine-looking guys. However my attraction was probably 97% towards ladies, and 3% guys. But then not long after I started transitioning, I noticed guys a lot more. I'm attracted to more masculine men, and like specific features including beards and chest hair. And some guys smell amazing. I first noticed this catching a whiff of a guy walking past me at the gym. This is definitely because of the HRT, because of how pheromones work on me now. I've also been with various guys, talked to zillions of them, and have a much better handle on my sexuality. That said, I'm frustratingly bisexual... like probably in the middle. :-\ A lot of the time I just want to be a lesbian but then I'll fantasize about men or talk to them and become interested... I've considered myself homoflexible, heteroflexible, homoromantic bisexual, and some other things but aside from 'bisexual' as a blanket-term, I can't really define my attraction anymore. It shifts around a bit, probably based more on whether or not a guy has pissed me off recently. :P
So I think it's certainly been a combination of chemical influences from HRT and being more comfortable with myself, my sexuality, and having more experiences.
Quote from: Ashey on March 16, 2016, 04:53:56 PM
So I think it's certainly been a combination of chemical influences from HRT and being more comfortable with myself, my sexuality, and having more experiences.
Ditto.
Anyway I think is more a thing of being comfortable with oneself and being more predisposed to explore and experiment new things. Before transition (and therefore before HRT) people is kind of "closeted", about their gender identity and about their whole sexuality. If you're trying to repress your identity mistmatch, is way probable you're somewhat repressing part of your sexuality, if not the whole.
In my opinion people after HRT broadens a bit their views about sex and about sexual experiences, but I think the core sexuality doesn't change. I always liked men, same type of guys, and that didn't change after being on HRT for years. Furthermore, I'm turned on more or less by the same things.
It's really not an easy question to answer, especially for someone that is non-binary such as myself. I've had dreams for years of myself having a sexual relationship as a woman. Over the years those fantasies slowly started to included more of a focus on having sex with men. The problem is that even to this day I'm not attracted to the male physique, just the male genitalia. I questioned this for many years, & even experimented with a few guys, & it never felt right.
I'm assuming change in sexual preference is from the chemical change hrt causes in your brain, which helps you understand & see yourself more as a woman. That is why I think many formerly straight men, become bisexual, or straight TG women. To put it more simply, it's not necessarily so much that your sexuality changes, since I don't believe your sexuality is set in stone. It's just that your taking on a new set of perspectives, & that makes your ideal sexual partner become more of an open idea.
For me, I think since I've come to understand more about myself, I think I have actually found myself being more attracted to women than I was when I viewed myself as a straight man. I think part of that comes from me being more appreciative of just how beautiful the curvature of the female body is. I'm not sure that will ever change for me.
If anything HRT narrowed my preferences signifcantly, I used to be attracted to lots of different sorts of women now I am very attracted to certain women and not at all to alot of them. I was kinda hoping for that broadening of attraction many talked about since I wanted to increase my dating pool, but I have found someone pretty amazing and there is nothing wrong with being a Lesbian so I embrace it.
Goodness, I hope hrt doesn't alter my sexuality tooo much. I have wanted to be in a lesbian relationship for the last 20 years!!!
Pre-transition, back when I was a dood, I was 100% attracted to women. I never really got with any but I was definitely attracted to em. I never had any attraction to guys back then; the thought of me being with one was as one was totally gross and icky...I just didn't look at guys like that, wasn't even an option.
In all fairness, I was pretty uptight and close minded back then too. I was very distant and walled off to everyone. Being seen as normal, being liked and respected, being seen by everyone in a positive light I guess, and avoiding shame and embarrassing things; those were the most important things to me.
I've definitely changed a lot since then. I have been able to drop much of that baggage I used to carry.
If I had to label my sexuality atm, I'd say I'm bi (not really sure what I am honestly, lol, its complicated..), so it's definitely changed quite a bit for me. I do notice guys more, caught myself thinking that some are even cute, had first kinda boy crush too recently, so ya, definitely different. Yet, still think women are beautiful too so who knows.
I would say hrt def played some role in the change, how much so I can't really say. Also dunno if it was more, "I got the girl juice in my vains, oh hey, look at that hunk, hey baby" type thing, or more indirectly by making me feel better bout myself, thus more open and comfortable with myself, or some combination of that or what.
Try not to worry too much about it. Nothing will happen that you don't want to :)
I honestly couldn't tell you. My sex drive went from 10 to 0 with HRT, so I'm not really attracted to anybody anymore. But I love my wife all the way, so even if it did change, I'd still stay with her. She also stayed with me despite the fact that she's not gay either. Love is love.
Quote from: Emileeeee on March 17, 2016, 09:09:13 AM
I honestly couldn't tell you. My sex drive went from 10 to 0 with HRT, so I'm not really attracted to anybody anymore. But I love my wife all the way, so even if it did change, I'd still stay with her. She also stayed with me despite the fact that she's not gay either. Love is love.
You make a good point. I think it's important to differentiate between love, & sexual desire. They are mutually exclusive to me. The lucky people are the one's that sexually desire, & love each other at the same time. For me & my wife, I haven't felt that for her in years, but I still love her. I'm not sure she would feel the same way about me if I went full transition.
Quote from: Greeneyes on March 16, 2016, 01:45:21 AMI had been attracted to only women for my entire life and had no interest in men at all. I found the idea disgusting to be honest. After about six months on HRT I noticed the idea of being with a man kept creeping into my brain. Slowly the idea seemed more natural. Now I'm exclusively attracted to men,
This topic has come up so many times, there seems to be no pattern to this, but just down to individual experience, before transition being attracted to men was repulsive to me, that slowly changed after HRT, the change was a bit unnerving at first, but as the transition progressed I accepted my new orientation, then when I started dating men, it felt a bit weird the first time holding my boyfriend hand, then that first kiss, not a peck on the cheek, but deep kissing on my lips, the smell of his breath and the stubble on his face, I was like, OMG I'm kissing a man, but it felt right and natural to me, now as a woman.
I think I've always been straight, if I was still a guy maybe I would be attracted to women, but I'm now a woman attracted to men, I'm now married to a man, my husband for 5 years, that's my experience.