My wife just made an extremely nice gesture to me. Our anniversary is Saturday and she bought me a very beautiful set of earrings. She even had our daughters help pick them out. I should be happy, and I am, but I am also very unsettled emotionally by it. I feel bad because I can't take these earrings out for another 3 weeks and I honestly have no clue when I will get to wear them. I'm only out to 3 people, her included. I don't have any really nice clothes to go with them. Even more though I think it's because it is such a touching gesture of acceptance. I only discovered this and came out about 5 months ago.
Not really looking for advice or anything, just an outlet. I've never been good at dealing with anything other than depression and rage.
Can you wear them round the house? Even if you have nothing to match them. I used to have a flatmate who'd wear shiny red high heels and pyjamas in the house. :P
Yes I can. She even told me as much. I think it's mostly just a sort of confusion because lack of sleep, stress, and the lack of experience dealing with people doing nice things for me.
I kinda had to laugh at the irony of this.
How may times as husbands did we buy or persuade our wifes to buy a nice dress/shoes/... but never took them any where to wear it/them! I talked my wife a few years ago into buying an OMG HOT dress LBD while shopping in a small boutique in PA. It took almost a year for us to go somewhere that she could wear it (A night club in Vegas.)
One might say that turn-around is a bitch.
But I agree - wear them around the house or maybe even a dinner and movie theater in some far-away land.
My wife did stuff like that in an effort to be supportive. I think she got the impression that it was go time from the moment I told her rather than planning to go time. It made me a little nervous every time she did that for a few months, but I feel that her efforts there is what got me over a lot of my fear surrounding transition.
Quote from: pj on March 18, 2016, 08:55:24 AM
I kinda had to laugh at the irony of this.
How may times as husbands did we buy or persuade our wifes to buy a nice dress/shoes/... but never took them any where to wear it/them! I talked my wife a few years ago into buying an OMG HOT dress LBD while shopping in a small boutique in PA. It took almost a year for us to go somewhere that she could wear it (A night club in Vegas.)
One might say that turn-around is a bitch.
But I agree - wear them around the house or maybe even a dinner and movie theater in some far-away land.
The irony is not lost on me. I will say that this sort of scenario rarely happened after the first 2 years of dating. She is not the type that enjoys fancy gifts of jewelry and outfits. She is a pretty practical girl. She still has a very nice bracelet I bought her on our one year anniversary that I've only seen her wear about 4 times. I still give her gifts but they tend to be small items I know she wants such as a new game or flowers.
I think I was mostly taken back by the niceness of the gesture and the spontaneity of it. I wasn't planning on receiving anything. She knows I've been interested in getting earrings, but I had assumed that would be for my B-day months from now. The fact that she went ahead and got them shows incredible support and a growing acceptance of my status. I'm just not used to having people do nice things for me randomly. As a guy I would have shunned this sort of frivolous gift. The gesture is touching and I just need to get more experience with this sort of scenario. I was mostly taken aback at my jumbled emotions. I figured I would just be happy, not mixed up.
Quote from: amberwaves on March 18, 2016, 02:06:41 PM
I'm just not used to having people do nice things for me randomly. As a guy I would have shunned this sort of frivolous gift.
Wow - these words struck me. I agree, as a guy I would have just said "thanks" but today I think I would probably cry.
Just more affirmation I'm doing the right thing. Thank you for the magic.