I hope that some of you guys could help me a little.
Almost all my life I've been really boyish.
In elementary school some people thought that I was a boy, and I was happy.
But my parents always reminded me that I was in fact a girl. I never liked it when they did that ( I still dislike it ).
I always played with boys and girls and I always had a male role in whatever we were playing.
Even one time on vacation a few boys thought that I was a boy and I just told them that I was and we ended up playing soccer everyday.
But then puberty came. And it was the most difficult time for me.
I disliked every part of my body that had changed.
I was insecure.
I was still boyish and it was still in elementary school, and people started bullying me for looking boyish.
So I changed myself completly into a 'girl'. I was still tomboyish though.
In secondary school I had lots of friends most of them were girls. I even had a few boyfriends ( that never worked out because I never felt right about it).
But it wasn't the real me. I felt depressed and people didn't like me anymore.
When I was 14 people started bullying me and that was also the time that I thought I was just gay.
Because of the bullying I went to a different school. I could be more myself in that 'new school'.
I came out as lesbian.
And later on I looked kinda like a guy again.
Lately (since 15 months or so) I've been thinking that I've been born in the wrong body.
I mean I hate how my guy friends treat me like girl.
I hate my body. I sometimes want to cut my secondary sexual characteristics.
I feel like my life is going nowhere.
I really want to come out as ftm to my parents but I'm scared.
Scared that I might lose my friends. And also scared about my future.
I just don't know what to do anymore.
So I hope you have some tips.
And thank you for reading this.
( I'm 16 btw)
Here are some resources that could help you:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,197523.msg1756901.html#msg1756901
You might tell your parents you want to see a gender therapist, to help you sort this out.
You might ask plannedparenthood or a lgbt center for a referral, or you might look here:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,162888.msg1400316.html#msg1400316
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,187135.0.html
another option might be to say you want counseling, for emotional reasons (don't make something up... if you are depressed you might say so), and pick someone who has, amongst others, gender on their list... they could help with coming out.
This is a step by step process. Just do the next step. There are many people who have gone through this and succeeded.
Here are other young trans people, maybe you can make some friends there:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,195129.msg1758946.html#msg1758946
*hugs*
That all sounds pretty similar to my journey. Ultimately, you have to decide what is most important to you and your life - being yourself and being happy, or keeping the peace with other people. I know it sounds pretty daunting early on, but that is really what it comes down to.
People are attracted to honesty and authenticity. As someone who wasted almost a decade worrying about the same things, I will tell you that friends come and go and as an adult, family is not as important and present as they are when you're young. You will lose friends and make new ones all the time. You get the freedom to choose who you consider to be your family. If someone is meant to be in your life after you come out and are living as yourself, they will be. Being out and living authentically doesn't mean that you will be alone.
To start, I'd do minor things like changing your wardrobe or cutting your hair if you haven't already. It may help you be more comfortable. Maybe consider choosing a male name to go by online and make some long distance friends. I would encourage you to talk to someone professionally - maybe a school counselor if you feel comfortable with one. You could also ask your parents to help you find a therapist. Ideally you want someone who has an understanding of gender and has worked with transgender young people before.
Welcome to Susan's Place. Coming out is pretty scary and I can't guarantee the outcome but people are much more accepting than they once were. The best possible outcome is if your parents are accepting because you will be able to receive therapy and a transition at school might be possible if you desire it. This site is a good place to learn more about yourself and explore your feelings. In addition there is a youth section where others in your age group post and you might see how others your age have adjusted. I am going to give you two links where you can learn more about what transgender means. The first is our Wiki (https://www.susans.org/wiki/Transgender) where you will learn how transgender covers a number of feelings. The second is "the transition channel" (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCfO3B57E6NpIn-KsVjvmLLw) which targets transsexualism more. It covers the things I explored in therapy 33 years ago and is as true today as it was then. Feel free to ask me any questions you might have.
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Thank you all for the help.
I think that I will leave a coming out note for my mom (my parents are divorced)
And after that we can talk. It will probably very emotional.
I'm sure my mom will always love me for who I am.
And I think that being honest is better for me and my future.
I don't want to end up like my uncle (my mom's brother) who's trans MtF but keeps it a secret and tried to end his life a few times.
I think I can move on.
I still have doubt but that's for the therapist xD
Excuse me when I say this but you are FTM all right imo.
Many FTM people are straightforward and no nonesense and you seem to have this too.
Wish you much luck :)
*hugs*
Well, I came out and it was indeed emotional.
I just told her, and she was in shock and felt really sorry for me.
She also told me that she needs to think about it (she supports me).
It feels like my shoulders are a lot lighter now, and it's just feels like a dream.
Congratulatios :)
Well its possibe some people have second thoughts ... you might show them materials and reassure them it will be all right ... there are a lot of people who have done this too :)
*hugs* and well done :)
Congratulations on coming out to your mom. I'd just like to say that your story is so similar to mine it's almost scary. I'm 16 as well and I've been on T for a little over a year, so if you have any specific questions feel free to PM me.