Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transgender talk => Topic started by: Maddie on March 23, 2016, 01:49:38 PM

Title: Unsure about counselor
Post by: Maddie on March 23, 2016, 01:49:38 PM
This past fall, I started sessions with a counselor that works with transgenders.  In fact, I relocated to the area because she took my insurance, and because they offered a small transgender group meeting!

Sounded really nice, however I am unsure...

This counselor doesn't seem to know a whole lot about the transgender issue more than I do...(I could be wrong). 

She refers to me and the other trans in the group by our born genders... 

She makes it very clear that I cannot get hormones/blockers without a referral letter from her (although I haven't even asked, since I am currently not in a big hurry to start these).  In fact, none of the trans group members that are her clients have ever gotten this referral from her for hormones (the members who are on hormones/blockers have gotten the referrals because they see different counselors apparently).  My perception is that this counselor has never helped anyone get that far, and that she may be unsure of her own position on the issues or steps to take.

Glad to be where I'm at, just questioning things...any ideas?
Title: Re: Unsure about counselor
Post by: Laura_7 on March 23, 2016, 02:03:17 PM

You can look here for other counselors:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,162888.msg1400316.html#msg1400316

here are experienced online counselors:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,187135.0.html

and you might ask at lgbt centers or plannedparenthood ...

here are a few additional materials:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KfXQxn98Q6I&feature=youtu.be


*hugs*
Title: Re: Unsure about counselor
Post by: purplewuggybird on March 23, 2016, 03:05:37 PM
It is possible that she does not know anything about what she is talking about. If she markets herself as aiding transgender people and fails to do so I believe that you can submit a possibly anonymous complaint with the state department of health. This doesn't sound right in my opinion


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Title: Re: Unsure about counselor
Post by: suzifrommd on March 23, 2016, 08:10:30 PM
Quote from: Maddie on March 23, 2016, 01:49:38 PM
Glad to be where I'm at, just questioning things...any ideas?

I highly recommending reading this thread: https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,162266.0.html

The fact alone that she pronouns trans men and women incorrectly causes me considerable concern.
Title: Re: Unsure about counselor
Post by: itsApril on March 23, 2016, 08:12:20 PM
If she's not helping you with your issues, ditch her.  Your counselor works for you, not the other way around.
Title: Re: Unsure about counselor
Post by: RobynD on March 23, 2016, 08:27:48 PM
From the way you describe her and particularly the respect involved with pronouns, i would also run not walk in the other direction to a new therapist.
Title: Re: Unsure about counselor
Post by: Jacqueline on March 23, 2016, 09:09:14 PM
Maddie,

I agree with the others. Working with a therapist is like working to grow a relationship. Some work from the first step, others take faith and slow growing, others just never work out. It is your dollar. You can have a say in what you do with it. It must be disappointing to think you moved to the area for this counselor.

Maybe you should try a general therapist and they can usually help you find one that specializes. It sounds like you wouldn't be a whole lot worse off. That is from my view. Do what is right for you .

Good luck. I hope you find what you are looking for.

With warmth,

Joanna
Title: Re: Unsure about counselor
Post by: KathyLauren on March 24, 2016, 05:37:02 PM
Your post raised a red flag for me.  Just because she "works with" transgender clients doesn't mean she helps them. 

Don't assume that she is unsure of her position.  She may know exactly what her position is.  If fact, she may have an agenda that is the opposite of yours. 
Title: Re: Unsure about counselor
Post by: Maddie on March 25, 2016, 12:48:49 PM
Thanks everyone.

I knew I'd have to move on sooner or later. 
However, I am in rural area without many options counselor-wise, and I just signed a lease where I now live. 
Also have been doing regular appts with an electrologist in the area who is working with me on a partial barter system.  Still a long ways to go there....but seems like another good reason to stick around for a while.

Might have to ride out this local counselor thing for a little while, while making contacts outside of my area to see where it leads.  I'm not exactly relying on this counseling anyway - it just seemed to be a step that is recommended for people going through this.  I've seen and read it over and over in trans advice forums:  "work with a counselor"...
Title: Re: Unsure about counselor
Post by: Laura_7 on March 25, 2016, 12:57:18 PM
Quote from: Maddie on March 25, 2016, 12:48:49 PM
Thanks everyone.

I knew I'd have to move on sooner or later. 
However, I am in rural area without many options counselor-wise, and I just signed a lease where I now live. 
Also have been doing regular appts with an electrologist in the area who is working with me on a partial barter system.  Still a long ways to go there....but seems like another good reason to stick around for a while.

Might have to ride out this local counselor thing for a little while, while making contacts outside of my area to see where it leads.  I'm not exactly relying on this counseling anyway - it just seemed to be a step that is recommended for people going through this.  I've seen and read it over and over in trans advice forums:  "work with a counselor"...

Its a suggestion not a must.
It can be helpful .
Especially if its a person knowing local resources like endos etc ...

Is there a lgbt center anywhere in your vicinity ?

How would you feel about an online counselor ?


Barter system sounds good to me  ;)


*hugs*
Title: Re: Unsure about counselor
Post by: suzifrommd on March 25, 2016, 01:43:40 PM
Quote from: Maddie on March 25, 2016, 12:48:49 PM
I've seen and read it over and over in trans advice forums:  "work with a counselor"...

There are counselors who will work through skype.
Title: Re: Unsure about counselor
Post by: Maddie on March 27, 2016, 07:25:32 PM
Hmm..i might be able to work with an online skypey counselor.