I apologize if this thread is in the wrong place. I don't know where else to put it.
A friend of mine from church contacted me and offered me some job training with an odd job. I thought we would just be buddies. Then he wanted to go shopping and I wanted to make it clear that it wasn't a date by inviting another trans friend of ours along because she doesn't get out much. He said "She's too confused"
He told me he was secretly a cross dresser. It is well known that I am asexual and don't like any touch and he kept telling me when he last saw me at church over a year ago he wanted to kiss me and when I told him I was flattered, but wasn't interested. He also tried to present himself as "submissive".
He told me about how hard it was to be a man because money had to do with whether or not he got enough sex, and it would be easier for him to get sex if he was a woman.
I said that if he did that as a woman men would treat him like trash.
He said women shouldn't let that happen. I said they have no control over that. He asked several times, and wanted to know why. [I wouldn't kiss him]
I said "Because I don't like to be touched and you should respect me." and I got annoyed he told me I was "a strange little man".
I said "Sure am. Cold fish." Then I said "Learn to control your urges. I told you I was asexual and you didn't respect me."
Here I thought I had a good friend who was going to teach me some new skills and I feel sexually harassed before the job started. All this in a few text messages. At least I didn't meet him and then this happen.
Don't you hate it when someone tries to underhandedly manipulate you while pretending to submit?
My friends in the BDSM community tell me that typically the subs call the shots so I can't really say I'm surprised. Sorry he's latched onto you, though. Some people seem to take "no" as just a bigger and more attractive challenge.
Ms. Dee speaks the truth about the BDSM community and who really calls the shots. But there's something about this guy that doesn't scream BDSM to me.
It sounds like he's really horny and is aggressively pursuing that in any way possible. I personally would not hang out with him or accept any kind of work from him. He definitely isn't a good friend and in general doesn't sound like a good person either.
Quote from: Dee Marshall on March 24, 2016, 08:51:14 AM
My friends in the BDSM community tell me that typically the subs call the shots so I can't really say I'm surprised. Sorry he's latched onto you, though. Some people seem to take "no" as just a bigger and more attractive challenge.
I'm not into BDSM, and was not seeking any romance is the point. This feels like a friend betraying me. That's the only time I get aggressive with someone is when they won't take no for an answer. I'm hoping if I was physically male they would be less apt to ask me. Does anyone find that to be true or am I living in the dark ages?
Quote from: FTMax on March 24, 2016, 09:22:16 AM
Ms. Dee speaks the truth about the BDSM community and who really calls the shots. But there's something about this guy that doesn't scream BDSM to me.
It sounds like he's really horny and is aggressively pursuing that in any way possible. I personally would not hang out with him or accept any kind of work from him. He definitely isn't a good friend and in general doesn't sound like a good person either.
Thank you Max. You give very good advice. I most definitely agree. Then again I'm not into BDSM. This was a friend from church.
..."I can make a hat, or a brooch, a pterodactyl"
-Johnny from the movie Airplane 😊
Quote from: FTMax on March 24, 2016, 09:22:16 AM
It sounds like he's really horny and is aggressively pursuing that in any way possible. I personally would not hang out with him or accept any kind of work from him. He definitely isn't a good friend and in general doesn't sound like a good person either.
Well sometimes people mix phantasy and reality.
He is transgender himself and the OP is transgender ...
adding in some hot phantasies and its possible his wishes got the better of himself.
It might be possible he is ok otherwise ... intution might tell that.
It might be possible to tell him to pusue his wishes in other venues.
There are bars and meetups and lgbt places, to meet and learn to know other transgender people, also for partnership purposes.
You might simply make it very clear it does not fly with you.
If its better to stay completely clear of him or if he might come to his senses well I'd say its up to you...
*hugs*
Quote from: alienbodybuilder on March 25, 2016, 08:55:14 AM
I'm hoping if I was physically male they would be less apt to ask me.
Hm I'd say they would be less pursuing maybe.
*hugs*
Quote from: kittenpower on March 25, 2016, 09:38:19 AM
..."I can make a hat, or a brooch, a pterodactyl"
-Johnny from the movie Airplane 😊
I've never seen that movie, what does the reference have to do with this?
Quote from: Laura_7 on March 25, 2016, 09:40:07 AM
Well sometimes people mix phantasy and reality.
He is transgender himself and the OP is transgender ...
adding in some hot phantasies and its possible his wishes got the better of himself.
It might be possible he is ok otherwise ... intution might tell that.
It might be possible to tell him to pusue his wishes in other venues.
There are bars and meetups and lgbt places, to meet and learn to know other transgender people, also for partnership purposes.
You might simply make it very clear it does not fly with you.
If its better to stay completely clear of him or if he might come to his senses well I'd say its up to you...
*hugs*
Good observation. Yes I have made it perfectly clear and he has said he will remember and respect me, but I don't trust that, and still will not work for him or go anywhere with him because he sees me as more than a friend.
Quote from: Laura_7 on March 25, 2016, 09:46:42 AM
Hm I'd say they would be less pursuing maybe.
*hugs*
That's good to hear. You're very insightful, Laura.
Quote from: alienbodybuilder on March 25, 2016, 10:49:37 AM
Good observation. Yes I have made it perfectly clear and he has said he will remember and respect me, but I don't trust that, and still will not work for him or go anywhere with him because he sees me as more than a friend.
Its possible he also sees you as kind of idol.
As said you might tell him there are venues where he can meet other transgender people, also for relationship purposes.
This might relieve some of the fixation he has on you.
*hugs* and trust your intuition ;)
Quote from: alienbodybuilder on March 25, 2016, 08:55:14 AM
Quote from: Dee Marshall on March 24, 2016, 08:51:14 AM
My friends in the BDSM community tell me that typically the subs call the shots so I can't really say I'm surprised. Sorry he's latched onto you, though. Some people seem to take "no" as just a bigger and more attractive challenge.
I'm not into BDSM, and was not seeking any romance is the point. This feels like a friend betraying me. That's the only time I get aggressive with someone is when they won't take no for an answer. I'm hoping if I was physically male they would be less apt to ask me. Does anyone find that to be true or am I living in the dark ages?
I thought I was a lesbian before I was trans, and I had a lot of friends in the LGBTQ community in college. You'd be surprised just how many not-straight men are interested in FTMs. They all came out of the woodwork once I'd come out and gotten on T. They were very interested in experimenting if I was up for it. So that could be what you're encountering. They all cooled off considerably when I made it public that I was pursuing bottom surgery.
Quote from: alienbodybuilder on March 25, 2016, 10:47:41 AM
Quote from: kittenpower on March 25, 2016, 09:38:19 AM
..."I can make a hat, or a brooch, a pterodactyl"
-Johnny from the movie Airplane 😊
I've never seen that movie, what does the reference have to do with this?
It means EVERYTHING after you ask "What do you make of this?"
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
Quote from: FTMax on March 25, 2016, 11:11:52 AM
I'm not into BDSM, and was not seeking any romance is the point. This feels like a friend betraying me. That's the only time I get aggressive with someone is when they won't take no for an answer. I'm hoping if I was physically male they would be less apt to ask me. Does anyone find that to be true or am I living in the dark ages?
I thought I was a lesbian before I was trans, and I had a lot of friends in the LGBTQ community in college. You'd be surprised just how many not-straight men are interested in FTMs. They all came out of the woodwork once I'd come out and gotten on T. They were very interested in experimenting if I was up for it. So that could be what you're encountering. They all cooled off considerably when I made it public that I was pursuing bottom surgery.
Wow. So they wanted a "mangina" instead of a man that appears normal? I'm not sexually open at all.
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on March 25, 2016, 11:22:27 AM
I've never seen that movie, what does the reference have to do with this?
It means EVERYTHING after you ask "What do you make of this?"
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
I still don't understand what you ladies are getting at.
Whippersnappers....<wandering off muttering>.......<calling over shoulder> "Google is your friend!"
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on March 25, 2016, 12:00:16 PM
Whippersnappers....<wandering off muttering>.......<calling over shoulder> "Google is your friend!"
Are you saying that there are too many ways to interpret it? It's not that I haven't heard dumb excuses before for men to get into my pants if that's what you're getting at. That he will try to be anything to get sex because he's promiscuous?
...looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue...
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on March 25, 2016, 12:17:06 PM
...looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue...
You are all movie enthusiasts ... another hint to the same movie .
OP try to relax.
It was simply a joke imo.
You ask "Re: What do you make of this?" (headline of your thread)
They answer anything ... just meaning to be funny ..
here is the original dialoge:
McCroskey: Johnny, what can you make of this? [hands Johnny a map]
Johnny: This? Well, I can make a hat; I can make a broach; I can make a pterodactyl!
he does not answer the question just says he can make something else of it.
Don't take it literally.
I had the same problems understanding when at school by the way.
Try to stand above it and ask a few questions ...
*hugs*
Quote from: Laura_7 on March 25, 2016, 03:24:27 PM
You are all movie enthusiasts ... another hint to the same movie .
OP try to relax.
It was simply a joke imo.
You ask "Re: What do you make of this?" (headline of your thread)
They answer anything ... just meaning to be funny ..
here is the original dialoge:
McCroskey: Johnny, what can you make of this? [hands Johnny a map]
Johnny: This? Well, I can make a hat; I can make a broach; I can make a pterodactyl!
he does not answer the question just says he can make something else of it.
Don't take it literally.
I had the same problems understanding when at school by the way.
Try to stand above it and ask a few questions ...
*hugs*
So are you saying that I am overthinking this?
Quote from: alienbodybuilder on March 25, 2016, 11:13:51 PM
So are you saying that I am overthinking this?
Yes.
I'd say try to see it a bit more relaxed and from a distance.
Of course your feelings were hurt because your friend had other motives.
But imo it does not have to be really bad intentions.
Maybe they hoped you would have feelings too.
You gave your point of view and now its up to both of you what to make of it.
Wish you a nice easter weekend :)
*hugs*
Quote from: Laura_7 on March 26, 2016, 06:13:51 AM
Yes.
I'd say try to see it a bit more relaxed and from a distance.
Of course your feelings were hurt because your friend had other motives.
But imo it does not have to be really bad intentions.
Maybe they hoped you would have feelings too.
You gave your point of view and now its up to both of you what to make of it.
Wish you a nice easter weekend :)
*hugs*
Thanks for explaining. Happy Easter, Laura.
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on March 25, 2016, 12:17:06 PM
...looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue...
Now I have something for the "what made you laugh today" thread
that movie is funny.
Now you all want to make me watch the movie Airplane. I normally like military spoofs, and this looks similar.
Quote from: alienbodybuilder on April 01, 2016, 06:47:37 PM
Now you all want to make me watch the movie Airplane. I normally like military spoofs, and this looks similar.
"Lighten up Francis" ;D
-Sgt Hulka from the movie Stripes
Quote from: kittenpower on April 01, 2016, 09:00:09 PM
"Lighten up Francis" ;D
-Sgt Hulka from the movie Stripes
And yet another recommendation. I take it you like the same kind of movies?
Quote from: alienbodybuilder on April 01, 2016, 09:03:17 PM
And yet another recommendation. I take it you like the same kind of movies?
You could have a look at youtube.
If you enter "trailer" and the name of the movie there should be preview videos available.
*hugs*
Quote from: Laura_7 on April 02, 2016, 07:48:28 AM
You could have a look at youtube.
If you enter "trailer" and the name of the movie there should be preview videos available.
*hugs*
Bless you and Happy April.