After days, weeks, months, and almost a year I'm thinking about giving everything up. I think I'm gonna go ahead not ever transition, since I can't get access to see a doctor, and just go ahead and live the rest of my days miserable like society wants me to. I'm just gonna go ahead and just give up and sit around and do nothing until I'm miserable enough to go ahead and take my own life. My parents don't give a crap about me and everyone that does support aren't in any kind of position to help me. Even the simplest jobs are impossible to get where I live and that includes mcdonalds. So yeah I'm just gonna do nothing and wait till I have the guts to finally kill myself and end my miserable existence since the U.S. hates us and nobody wants to help.
Wow its your life to do with as you please was bothered by a comment you made that the US hates us.
I'm from the USA, and I don't hate no one!!
Sounds like you got some anger issues.
Sorry for that have no advice for someone who has thrown the towel in.
I strongly believe that there are thangs in this world worth fighting for.
It all depends on how bad you want them.
DREAMS DON'T COME TRUE THEY ARE MADE TRUE
It's not easy to climb up the mountain, but one step at a time and you will get there
I apologize for that last comment I'm not an angry person just depressed :(
And I live in Tennessee
Why are you so down. Isn't something in life worth living for? I don't understand why you are so depressed.
Don't let this world drag you down make it what you want it to be
Doctors are almost every wear what makes your place so remote?
I'm down because I live every day feeling dysphoric and powerless to do anything about it. I can't move out from my unaccepting parents despite all efforts and energy to get a job to support myself it's like nothing wants to give the time of day to hire me even mcdonalds won't and I'm not lying about that. The worst of it is my family's rejection they refuse to love me as their daughter so any support from them is out of the question and that means I can't use my family's insurance plan to get on hormones even if I tried.
Also I face getting kicked out in May which means I'm gonna be homeless soon and nowhere to go except under a highway bridge probably since the area I live has no shelters unless I can hitchhike to Nashville. Healthcare in this country is impossible to get access to unless you either have a good job or lots of money so getting hormones is still gonna be out of the question.
Sorry I feel this way but when everything is against you it's impossible to stay positive and be happy :(
I can see how the deck is stacked against you, but your not alone or the only one who has parents that will not except them for who they are.
I told my dad that I live as a girl got told you are making a big mistake, and was You listen here you will always be my son do you understand that! ! Refuses to look at the pictures as me as a girl.
We so far we haven't spoke again to each other.
I'm almost 47 I didn't start living as a girl full time until January of this year, and I new I was different at 7.
I wanted to be a girl then everything happens for a reason and maybe as bad as I want it something in life wasn't ready for that, and even though you want to change it sounds like you're not ready, but don't give up because one day you will be ready in life.
It's not a cheap road I'm having to pay cash I work alot but the company I work for doesn't carry insurance, and I work 55 hours a week been there for 17 years.
I'm not a religious person, but I do believe God never gives you more than you can handle.
You sound a little young that's not a bad thing it's kinda of good because it sounds like you know what you want to be come.
Keep that iron in the fire, but tend to more important thangs in your life you need to get a job doesn't matter what kind of job realize this the road you want you have to pave it with money it's not given or grows on trees.
Figuring how you are going to pay for all this, and what can be done to make money should be your #1 iron do for your self that's what I'm doing, and if I don't do it doesn't get done I'm doing this with no help no one but my self.
You need to get your life on track before transitioning it will work no other way, and you have to figure that out I can't do it for you
Depression is pretty rough. I can't tell you any surefire way to get rid of it, its always here for me (I don't think its as bad for me, but I wanna try to help). What do you do physically? I've managed to at least get out of bed by jogging (I'm still pretty overweight though, oh well). Sometimes it feels pretty worthless, but sometimes it helps. Once I started doing that for a while, I started taking stuff out of my diet and that helps sometimes a little bit too. It feels like treating the symptoms instead of actually taking the problem head on, but sometimes its all you can do.
Quote from: EmilyRyan on March 30, 2016, 09:04:01 PM
Sorry I feel this way but when everything is against you it's impossible to stay positive and be happy :(
You're right btw, I'd imagine you can't just stay positive and happy, but its not permanent either. Another thing that sometimes helps, I don't try to just not be depressed, that always just makes me feel soooo much worse. Realize that you're in your situation and you're only human, not a freakin wizard.
And I think Kulena is right about getting on track beforehand, I mean, you can only do so much. Maybe you should figure out if transitioning is a goal that helps you stay motivated or if it causes despair. If you think it stresses you out more, maybe think about changing it to be less stressful. (On the otherhand, if you think it actually helps right at this moment, by all means, take any positive you can :) ) Although I wouldn't say stressing to get a job is actually gonna help you get a job, just do what you can, when you can.
I hope you don't think I'm patronizing or anything, its hard to imagine being in your situation, but I didn't want to stay silent either...
Going to Nashville might actually be a good idea. They do have an LGBT center there and transgender support. http://www.outcentral.org/resources/tennessee-transgender-support#.Vvy3TXog6So (http://www.outcentral.org/resources/tennessee-transgender-support#.Vvy3TXog6So)
Why do you think you will be made homeless soon?
Also, I don't exactly know your parents and can't say for sure but just because they don't accept you as their daughter doesn't mean they don't care about you. Sounds like they're like 95% of parents, going through denial and scared of what you might do so resisting with all their stubborn might. Like I say, I could be right off the mark but it could be worth exploring the possibility of getting your depression dealt with on their healthcare. Tell them you are very depressed, that you are having thoughts about death and want to see someone about it. See where that gets you.
Until you at least start to get your depression under control you're unlikely to be able to move forward in a positive and constructive way.
Quote from: keira166 on March 30, 2016, 10:20:04 PM
What do you do physically?
To be more specific I'm a college student trying to work toward getting a four year degree not just for better job options but also as a life fulfillment. I do have a two year degree already in General Studies and want to turn that into a four year after failing my entry level classes to become an elementary teacher and yeah my parents are paying tuition out of pocket, without me ever asking them to and I guess that proves they still love me somewhat, though they still think I'm going into teaching. And why General Studies? Because all the majors that matter in today's job market require alot of hard math that even a tutor couldn't help me get better at. Truth be told I'm not good at anything beyond map reading. Before going to community college I had a job where the work was fast paced and as much as I tried to get good at it I wasn't cut out like the only thing I had going was a good attitude and work ethic but unfortunately I still got fired after six months. Last year in the summer I had another job doing something different but was fast paced yet again and got let go after only two months. Sadly as far was job skills go all I have is good work ethic and sadly that doesn't prevent one from being fired.
Quote from: keira166 on March 30, 2016, 10:20:04 PM
Maybe you should figure out if transitioning is a goal that helps you stay motivated or if it causes despair.
The best way I can put it is that I've been socially transitioning for the time being but I'm ready to be completely full time and that's the cause of any despair I have the fact I'm unable to get hormones and be the girl I'm truly am is upsetting and it only makes things worse when the things that can help make that possible don't work out and causes me to be stuck in an inescapable cycle.
Quote from: keira166 on March 30, 2016, 10:20:04 PM
I hope you don't think I'm patronizing or anything
Nah you're fine I see that you're reaching out and I appreciate it
Quote from: CarlyMcx on March 31, 2016, 12:40:46 AM
Going to Nashville might actually be a good idea. They do have an LGBT center there and transgender support. http://www.outcentral.org/resources/tennessee-transgender-support#.Vvy3TXog6So (http://www.outcentral.org/resources/tennessee-transgender-support#.Vvy3TXog6So)
Will they help with financial support??
Quote from: Ms Grace on March 31, 2016, 02:35:50 AM
Why do you think you will be made homeless soon?
I'm not doing well in my classes and the fact I'm don't wanna be a teacher anymore. When my dad finds out he's gonna be soooo furious and fed up with me still living at home he's gonna kick me out and I've already been threatened before I know for sure this time it's written in stone.
Quote from: Ms Grace on March 31, 2016, 02:35:50 AM
Tell them you are very depressed, that you are having thoughts about death and want to see someone about it. See where that gets you.
I already tried this route and they're not the type to take me to see a professional. All they did was simply try to cheer me up and I just pretend I'm better.
I just need to face the fact I'm never gonna afford hrt and never gonna live life as a woman full-time :'(
Don't even know why I bother trying nothing I've done/tried for the past 10 months has worked out for the better. Still can't get a job, still stuck with parents who are unaccepting, the support network I do have can't help, and I don't understand why we have healthcare when it's unaffordable.
You're how old? Unless you're in your 80s or 90s "never" is a very long time. You have no idea what is just around the corner that could change everything. The biggest mistake that depressed people make is that believing NOW will be what their life will be like forever, and that is never the case. Whether it gets better or worse is up to many different forces and events, some that you have control over and some that you do not - put as much effort into making sure you have as much control over your life as you can and things will change for the better when they do change.
I've been where you are. Tried to kill myself with crack cocaine. If I was going to go I was going to be on top of the world. Then one night at Huntington Beach my then 14 month old son began to walk along the bike path. His first long distance walk. I decided there and then what my higher power is. Thirty years later my son and I are as close as ever. I guess the suggestion is, it's not about you. The sooner you realize, the happier you will be. If you can't even get a job at McDonald's why are you not in school trying for something better? There is a way out where you are there at the end. Start with loving yourself for all your quirks. It does not make you weird. It makes you unique. Good luck and Don't give up. One last suggestion. Your parents decided the path they wanted to travel and thus far they have. Time to start living your life
I felt much the same way. I finished my degree and worked for a while until I started my transition. Had it not been for my education and work experience, it would have been so much more difficult. It all worked out.
Quote from: DawnOday on April 01, 2016, 07:01:56 PM
If you can't even get a job at McDonald's why are you not in school trying for something better?
I'm currently in school and I have a two year degree since May of last year. Right now I'm trying to figure out what I want to major in for a four year. I was wanting to be a teacher but I now realize that's not for me either just like alot of other stuff I've tried. As I've said before there's not a lot I'm good and the skills needed to get a decent job nowadays I don't have the aptitude for. I'm not good at math and science and I'm a crappy writer barely make C's when I have to write a paper. The only real skill I have is map reading.
Your other skill seems to be an aptitude at putting yourself down and undervaluing yourself. If you believe you are not good at something you want to do you need to figure out how to improve that, or what you can do instead. But don't sell yourself short otherwise you've defeated yourself before you even get started.
How do I become skilled to get a job??
Quote from: EmilyRyan on April 01, 2016, 07:35:52 PM
How do I become skilled to get a job??
You go to school. You go to a tech training center. You get work and stick with it. You build a career getting as much experience as you can in your area of expertise.
I've met many people who have no idea what they want to do. Surgery seems to be the only goal. And dysphoria drives that, to be sure. But you must figure out what you are going to do after surgery. Why not work on that part now? Life will not drop a bundle of money in your lap after your transition. Nor will Prince Charming scoop you off your feet. That means you work on it now in parallel with your surgery/transition plans.
You figure out what you want to do and make a plan on how to get there. Talk to school counselors, teachers, professionals in the field of your choice. Ask questions, write down their answers, and make a plan to get there. Then you do it. And as far as that goes.... we have lots of very professional people here in many fields. We are all happy to help. But the first step is up to you.
Quote from: Cindi Jones on April 01, 2016, 08:04:12 PM
You go to school. You go to a tech training center.
And if I'm not cut out for those then what?? I'm already trying those and it isn't working out.
I did crap jobs my entire life , but I'm still alive and transitioning at 64.
There are many ways to become a teacher. I spent the last 20 years as a part time corporate trainer. Here is an invaluable web site provided by MIT, HARVARD, Stanford and another 50 colleges. All courses are on line and all are based on in classroom curriculum. These are undergraduate and graduate courses. You can earn certification for most. The website is http://ocw.mit.edu/courses/ and I noticed they had courses on Womens and Gender studies. Why not become an expert at your passion? You are in control. No one else. When the top colleges want to give you free stuff it is in your interest to investigate. MAS.712 How to Learn (Almost) Anything
Are the courses free and if I do enough will I get an actual degree??
Not very long ago I was in a position where I probably would've been dead if it wasn't for good friendships (From susans) and people who decided to stick with me even though I didn't think there was anybody left. Part of it was because I was a very lonely person in another part of it was because I was transgender and I didn't know how to deal with anything. I still feel lonely and sometimes I still feel like I am a very misunderstood person I still "sometimes" feel like testosterone is a long ways away and like nobody cares. (Not saying your experiences are like mine exactly, but its just a example) Truth be told that is just our minds in a breakdown people do care! about you! and people love you even if they don't necessarily always understand it takes a long time for people to get it.
Some never will, but in the end a lot of people who you don't expect end up caring, even if there on the other end of the computer. The people who helped me was on the other end if it wasn't for them I don't know how it would have ended. So maybe it feels horrible, but don't let it be the end. Because even these people far away from you care and they're doing all they can to give you the support you need that's why places like this exist. Keep walking and keep looking forward please because no matter who you are life is worth it even when it seems like the future is invisible. Remember it isn't, life it is worth it.
I just wish more can be done besides getting a job or a better education.
At age 13 my transition was impossible. At age 30 I had surgery finishing the process. The process is much easer today and with what I know and in todays climate, the process could be done in two years. To transition is a big commitment both towards constructing a new life and toward the process of transitioning. Few if any get it handed to them even if they are young with supporting parents and all the money/insurance that is needed.
It's up to you to decide what your goals are and make every effort to reach them. If you do so and don't quit, you will reach your goal. Maybe not in the time frame you desire but some day. Break the problem into small bits. Currently your main goal should be a job. If you need an education for that, work towards that goal. Once you can keep and hold the job, you move on to the transition and the many tasks involved in that. It's far from impossible and many have done it.
You need to take that attitude that there is nothing you can't do. I have always had that attitude and sometimes it takes longer than expected but I don't give up until I have finished what I started.
Is there a way to get by without a job?? At this point I think it'll better if I didn't worry about trying to get a job it's taking a bad toll.
First off - please don't off yourself. I've lost too many friends and people I know who have - and I've been at the lowest point of my life where I thought that myself. It does get better - but YOU need to start the ball rolling. First off, move away from Tennessee - do what I did - come to Washington State. It's beautiful, people are so nice, kind, welcoming, and oh yeah - you can get a job at McDonalds for $15 bucks an hour. Do what you can and get over here!
Second - male or female - whatever you identify with - find peace within yourself. You are worthy of friendship, acceptance, and respect. If you can't find it with your current family or friends - move somewhere else where you can. I found when I moved from Texas, it was like starting over from scratch. A new me. I did that 13 years ago and it was the best decision I ever made. Clark College is paying for me to go to school - and I'm studying for an AA in Health Informatics which pays starting at $30 to $50 an hour! So yes - you can go to school, for free - granted you maintain a C, and there are better places out there.
Don't give up. I'm proof there are better places in this country.
Jessica
Quote from: Jessica_W on April 02, 2016, 07:17:21 PM
First off - please don't off yourself. I've lost too many friends and people I know who have - and I've been at the lowest point of my life where I thought that myself. It does get better - but YOU need to start the ball rolling. First off, move away from Tennessee - do what I did - come to Washington State. It's beautiful, people are so nice, kind, welcoming, and oh yeah - you can get a job at McDonalds for $15 bucks an hour. Do what you can and get over here!
Second - male or female - whatever you identify with - find peace within yourself. You are worthy of friendship, acceptance, and respect. If you can't find it with your current family or friends - move somewhere else where you can. I found when I moved from Texas, it was like starting over from scratch. A new me. I did that 13 years ago and it was the best decision I ever made. Clark College is paying for me to go to school - and I'm studying for an AA in Health Informatics which pays starting at $30 to $50 an hour! So yes - you can go to school, for free - granted you maintain a C, and there are better places out there.
Don't give up. I'm proof there are better places in this country.
Jessica
If I where to move to Washington would I be eligible for Medicaid there and will it be easy to get financial if I need it??
I don't know I have my doubts I could afford to live in Washington State. The costs of living there looks astronomical even with a $15 an hour job.
Something to think about. Lets say that somehow you get through the next couple of years and complete your transition. What do you want to do with the rest of your life? The bills will keep coming in and it will be desirable to eat and have a roof over your head. My before life left me able to support myself and save money after surgery doing a job that I enjoyed. What will you do for a living?
sorry, I'm a little confused as to way you don't want to work. are you physically disabled or mentally disabled. If your physically disabled or mentally disabled or both and it can be verified by a doctor and or therapist you wouldn't have too much of a problem getting SSI. or Medicare.
Quote from: Dena on April 02, 2016, 08:47:56 PM
What do you want to do with the rest of your life? The bills will keep coming in and it will be desirable to eat and have a roof over your head. My before life left me able to support myself and save money after surgery doing a job that I enjoyed. What will you do for a living?
Honestly I don't know. In the time I graduated high school and been doing college classes and the limbo in between I haven't got a clue what I want to do and frankly what I could do in a job. The two jobs that I did have taught me a couple things: Having a good attitude and work ethic doesn't make up for incompetence and I can't handle fast paced work evidently. I couldn't tell how many job interviews I blew due to lacking skills the employer was seeking or because I scored poorly on a test required for the job. I've been trying to be good at something but in the end I lack the talent most jobs are seeking. I'm only good at one thing: Map Reading and last I check there isn't a market for that unfortunately otherwise I would apply right sway.
Quote from: stephaniec on April 02, 2016, 08:53:22 PM
sorry, I'm a little confused as to way you don't want to work. are you physically disabled or mentally disabled. If your physically disabled or mentally disabled or both and it can be verified by a doctor and or therapist you wouldn't have too much of a problem getting SSI. or Medicare.
I do not have a physical or mental disability but just for the sake of being honest I do have a documented learning disability since I was like in 2nd grade and have been in special education till I graduated high school. And to answer the other part I do admit, after endless job searching for almost a year since my last job, I am wanting to give up as stupid as that is. For everytime I apply for a job and get no phone call or a notification saying I don't qualify what little hope I have dies and just makes me think it be better if I just stopped looking/applying and don't work all together. I know it's stupid of me to do that but the way things are going what more can I do??
Hello Emily. As a fellow person who has suffered from depression, I sympathise with you.
I suffer from dysthymia (long term chronic depression) for a host of reasons and have also suffered from clinical depression in the past. I have lived with depression for at least 16 years of my life (noting that I'm 31 now) and first attempted suicide at 10.
I'm new to the forum so I might not be the best person to talk to in regards to the problem you face, but I would like to think that I at least understand what it is like to suffer from despair and depression... And how to live with it and survive despite it.
Remember that as long as you are still alive, anything is possible. This means that that as long as you dare to dream, dare to do something about it, one day, you can turn your situation around and attain what you want.
Making a rough guess that you are around 21, I'm certain that you hate being told that you are still young. I know that I did. Haha... And at 31, I still hear it being said to me.
The truth however is that at 21, your life is only just truly beginning.
At your age, for no reason other than being born male, I was forced to serve two years of compulsory military service during which I greatly suffered and sustained a list of injuries. I even suffered from clinical depression and unknowingly nearly threw myself off a building in a bid to get to the first floor... And after climbing halfway over the ledge did I suddenly realise what I was doing. Both of us have been dealt a bad hand by fate and the governments that oversee us.
The thing is, fate is what you make of it. Do not let it govern your life. Dare to dream. Dare to realise that as long as there is a tomorrow, you can overcome your circumstances. Even if it means you have to start off by crawling towards your goals, little by little, you will find that things can get better and better.
But for now, don't look at all your future problems at one go; that will stress you out. If you try to plan too far ahead, you will find yourself trying to micromanage each problem. Give yourself vague future goals, then proceed to deal with each day by each day. Bid your time if you have to. Patience and waiting for the right opportunity and timing helps a lot. If it is possible to come to a compromise with your family, my advice is for you to do so... For now. Once you are fully financially independent, you will be able to do as you wish. Patience and timing.
Once they no longer have financially control over you and you have full independence, how can they stop you?
Work hard at your degree. If you feel that your government doesn't do enough for you as I have, then look for opportunities overseas. Globalisation means that if you have a degree, you can always try to find work overseas. But as I said, one step at a time. Don't try to run while looking too far ahead. Tripping and falling (into depression) hurts after all.
Exercise. I'm not saying to hit the gym or something but... I'm certain you will continue to face anguish until you are able to start on therapy. Exercise helps to counter stress hormones and combats depression. Remember as I said, as long as you are alive, there is hope.
Finally, love yourself and know that holding on to your dream will give you greater happiness in the future. *hug*
One of the reasons I have hated to lose a job is because I need to send out hundreds of resumes to find a job where they want my skills. Once I find that job, I am like gold to them as I am able to do whatever they need. Many people are in the same boat that I am in and when a company has an opening, often they have a pile of resumes to select from to fill an opening. Job hunting isn't easy and the only way to find a job is by not giving up. I would suggest you spend as much time as possible figuring out what you can do. If your school has a career consoler, spend some time and take any test they might have to discover your abilities and likes. I sort of stumbled into computer programming but it turned out to be something I loved for over 40 years.
Hey Emily... (this will be long but bare with me)
I can see myself in what you describe, I know what you mean. I know how you feel, really. Been there.
I think your writing is pretty good.
Now really. You might have many more skills than you think.
You can think. Obviously...
The explanation of your situation seems well structured. I'm not a native English speaker but... I can see... the ideas are well presented and structured
Hey I know how you feel 'cause I've been like that all my life: no skills, life too fast paced everywhere.
Gender dysphoria too, but I didn't exactly know... It was way before Internet so how to know... I mean I can't even remember how we got information back then. You had to know someone who knew someone... (I mean for everything), or read, read, read...
So no information available, transitionning was like outer space back then, some weirdos did it, we heard... Someone knew someone who knew someone... It was not even possible for me to imagine that I could go this way, I mean I knew it existed, I knew I could but... socially? Socially unthinkable then, so...
I felt so bad in that body but that's the one I had...
So I resigned to forget about any idea that I would maybe actually be a woman and tried very hard to be a man.
And no skills. Too slow. Not very enthusiastic... never. Depressed (or perceived as such). I smoked pot (I still do)
I went to pick apples out west in BC, I was 19... cool times...
I sucked at picking apples...
other pickers even laughed at me (well everyone always laughed at me everywhere anyways, I dunno, I'm clumsy, you know...)
Managed to find a desperate farmer, finished the season with a little money then headed North to see my brother whom I had not seen for 7-8 years (I'm from the East of Canada.)
He got me a job as a taxi driver in his small BC town. But you know, I sucked at that too, I got my taxi in the ditch a few times and... bye-bye. Meanwhile my brother had moved away, so I went back East. What did I do then?
No skills, too slow...
I managed to find a job delivering pizza. I did that and other deliveries for, what 3-4 years, then went back to college (I had quit high school at 16, so I went to adult school and...)
My post was getting too long, I cut here and try to summarize and get to a point (I'm not that well structured haha, chaos sometimes rules my head).
yes, I was a total drop out but ended up in university at 28 and loved it.
I'm a thinker, not a doer.
University is the place for thinkers, I was very well there, I stayed 6 years, almost had a masters.
And yeah, I couldn't achieve whatever in high school, like really nothing appeared almost like a dumbhead, which I was not. There was a reason...
that's one thing I wanted to tell you, maybe you're a thinker, not a doer, and that's why you think you have no skills (which is untrue since you can think and write, and hey, I didn't know how to write that well until I got to U. and earned a living writing (somewhat) afterwards).
the other thing I wanted to tell you is that
Things turned around for me when I understood why I was like that. It's like... somewhat a condition, you know, or many conditions twisted together and linked, being trans being one of them. I claim they are linked and related, I will demonstrate how, just give me a little more time to study and think. There are many conditions... depression is not the cause, it's the consequence of...
It's been a few years all the pieces got together, I wish I would have known that when I was 20, the perception of things, of life, is different when you know why.
I invite you to read Wikipedia and other relevant sites, and books, get to the library and search for yourself, find yourself. Get information it's all there.
Get guidelines, please find a good psychologist ASAP, another one then... oh another one (psychology is far from being a firm domain, search, try...).
The best person to know about yourself is yourself but you're young and don't have all the information so you need guidelines, start somewhere... why am I like that? There has to be a reason. There is a reason Emily. Gender dysphoria doesn't explain everything and HRT isn't the solution to all your problems. It could be, but if you have unsolved hidden parts of the reason you're like that, chances are very good you will hit another wall. Transitionning can actually worsen things up you know, for jobs and other social stuff...
If you build on soft soil...
You need guidelines, seek help, but remember you know best about you. Only you. You have to use your intelligence to gather all information from external sources and mixed that up with your internal information. What do you feel? How is this maybe related to how I feel?...
Let time work.
I know you're in your early twenties, you want everything now. I was like that too, I remember. I'm still like that. I'm still 20 years old. But now I know... decades after. Time does erode mountains (of troubles...).
It took me a long time for I had no clue... But you're into a good start, you know your trans, that's one thing. But why the rest, too fast, everything is too fast, why? Sounds like me. I have a good clue. You need to find out.
Also I realized the environment we're in is major. It took me so long to realize that...
You are what your environment makes you. They see you unskilled, so you see yourself unskilled. Listen, the greatest move I made in my life was to leave home town and move to the big city where life is very different. Never going back. You can be slow, weird, trans, whatever in a big city. Or out West as suggested to you earlier. To Canada where you get your meds for almost free (yes you could... become canadian).
Somewhere else.
The world is yours. Don't just stay there, you know... I don't know Tennessee ... maybe you'd be different if you were elswhere, idk... maybe, don't you think? If you're ready to transition, are you ready to leave everything behind and move away? Which is more difficult, you think?
Transitionning is not something you can buy at the store or an app. It's a process. Just like life, Emily. A process. Takes time. You have to live life, and that's Time.
Take your life into your own hands, no one else will do it for you, just like no one, no doctor, no psychologist nor psychiatrist will give you an all wrapped solution. The truth is here and there and within you, you have to grasp the pieces.
Time... (think, that's what we have, us humans, that's our skill)
and oh I forgot to say Emily, I care and worry about you :icon_hug: :icon_pelvic_thrust: :icon_hug:
Quote from: EmilyRyan on April 01, 2016, 07:35:52 PM
How do I become skilled to get a job??
Something I noticed about your work history...you get let go even though you have a good work ethic, which is probably the #1 complaint employers have about young workers. They don't just let people go without reason. And McDonald's isn't usually picky about who they hire.
Did they tell you why?
Quote from: EmilyRyan on April 02, 2016, 08:13:19 PM
I don't know I have my doubts I could afford to live in Washington State. The costs of living there looks astronomical even with a $15 an hour job.
Unless you are buying a house, Washington is like anywhere else except the citizens are mostly educated. With Boeing and the tech companies not everyone has to work at Mc Donalds. There is no income tax in Washington.
As to the MIT courses, yes they are free. Yes you can get certified completion. No you cannot get credits. So in that regard the are like Devry, ITT and UOP. You might need to learn how to put a resume together. But once you get into a interview situation where the MIT information has helped you walk the walk. For example I have taken the Six Sigma and TPS courses and I have just as much knowledge as anyone who has actually taken classes at MIT. Yes I had to earn my black belt but it was a whole lot easier with this information behind me. It's up to you to convey your expertise. Nobody can do that for you. When I hear someone say something is too hard, my lazy meter starts going off. If you want it bad enough, nothing will stop you.
Quote from: EmilyRyan on April 02, 2016, 09:30:04 PM
Honestly I don't know. In the time I graduated high school and been doing college classes and the limbo in between I haven't got a clue what I want to do and frankly what I could do in a job. The two jobs that I did have taught me a couple things: Having a good attitude and work ethic doesn't make up for incompetence and I can't handle fast paced work evidently. I couldn't tell how many job interviews I blew due to lacking skills the employer was seeking or because I scored poorly on a test required for the job. I've been trying to be good at something but in the end I lack the talent most jobs are seeking. I'm only good at one thing: Map Reading and last I check there isn't a market for that unfortunately otherwise I would apply right sway.
I do not have a physical or mental disability but just for the sake of being honest I do have a documented learning disability since I was like in 2nd grade and have been in special education till I graduated high school. And to answer the other part I do admit, after endless job searching for almost a year since my last job, I am wanting to give up as stupid as that is. For everytime I apply for a job and get no phone call or a notification saying I don't qualify what little hope I have dies and just makes me think it be better if I just stopped looking/applying and don't work all together. I know it's stupid of me to do that but the way things are going what more can I do??
I lost my job of twenty years because I got sick and over 50. It took over 2000 applications and resumes but I finally got hired by Boeing where I put in another 10 years as a Systems SME. The week I got the job is the same week I had exhausted my pension and I had to borrow money for the first time ever to get housing to start the job. Boeing eventually paid for my move. One more benefit was that Boeing and other large companies will pay for you to complete your education in any subject you choose. Home Depot where my daughter works has a paid education component online. Want an accredited course? Try WGU.edu Its online, Has a flat rate of $6000 per year. And they offer teaching education.
Quote from: DawnOday on April 03, 2016, 09:46:50 AM
Unless you are buying a house, Washington is like anywhere else except the citizens are mostly educated. With Boeing and the tech companies not everyone has to work at Mc Donalds. There is no income tax in Washington.
As to the MIT courses, yes they are free. Yes you can get certified completion. No you cannot get credits. So in that regard the are like Devry, ITT and UOP. You might need to learn how to put a resume together. But once you get into a interview situation where the MIT information has helped you walk the walk. For example I have taken the Six Sigma and TPS courses and I have just as much knowledge as anyone who has actually taken classes at MIT. Yes I had to earn my black belt but it was a whole lot easier with this information behind me. It's up to you to convey your expertise. Nobody can do that for you. When I hear someone say something is too hard, my lazy meter starts going off. If you want it bad enough, nothing will stop you.
I want to thank Silrevia, Soli, and others for the uplifting comments ya are a reminder of why I joined here :)
Quote from: Beth Andrea on April 03, 2016, 04:24:17 AM
Something I noticed about your work history...you get let go even though you have a good work ethic, which is probably the #1 complaint employers have about young workers. They don't just let people go without reason. And McDonald's isn't usually picky about who they hire.
Did they tell you why?
The first job I had was working as a donations attendant for Goodwill. It started off good then it got to where I couldn't keep up with the number of people coming to drop off donations and after six months the corporate head that watches over the store and the managers finally got fed up with me not being able to keep up and told the store manager to fire me. Fast forward to summer of last year I got a job at Walmart working in the back unloading trucks. My job was to pick up boxes and place them on pallets sounds simple right I mean how could I possibly screw up there?? Unfortunately management considered me too slow for that job because I was always having to read the signs and labels constantly so I wouldn't be putting stuff on the wrong pallets. Within two months of that job I was suddenly let go but the management there felt sorry for me enough to make it look like I just quit instead of having a termination.
And Tennessee is a so-called right to work state meaning that employers can also fire people without reason like I can be fired for being a brunette and do nothing about it.
Quote from: DawnOday on April 03, 2016, 10:06:09 AM
I lost my job of twenty years because I got sick and over 50. It took over 2000 applications and resumes but I finally got hired by Boeing where I put in another 10 years as a Systems SME. The week I got the job is the same week I had exhausted my pension and I had to borrow money for the first time ever to get housing to start the job. Boeing eventually paid for my move. One more benefit was that Boeing and other large companies will pay for you to complete your education in any subject you choose. Home Depot where my daughter works has a paid education component online. Want an accredited course? Try WGU.edu Its online, Has a flat rate of $6000 per year. And they offer teaching education.
I would love to be able to work for Boeing, considering I do love aircraft with a passion but don't they only hire STEM majors??
Quote from: EmilyRyan on April 01, 2016, 08:17:14 PM
And if I'm not cut out for those then what?? I'm already trying those and it isn't working out.
Hi Emily,
I am an employer and I hire people on attitude. I have a person coming today that cannot read or write and is 22 years old. If his attitude is good then I will look at giving him part time work and work around his disability. From here it may turn into a full time position. Some people just need someone to give them a chance.
What I am trying to say is there are industries that will give anyone a go you just have to have the right go forward attitude to try anything.
My business is Sandblasting and Industrial Painting and is very male orientated with me a cross dresser at its helm that is not openly out.
My life started from digging chook poo out from under factory hen sheds, picking fruit to cleaning Sewage tanks.
If you are willing to try anything and be positive, you will be amazed what jobs you could get and then you can start to choose jobs that will get you to where you want/need to go.
Be prepared to get dirty and do work that you don't like to start your life rolling.
Good luck and I hope you find something in your area.
Cheers
Sue.
Quote from: SueNZ on April 03, 2016, 03:34:56 PM
Hi Emily,
I am an employer and I hire people on attitude. I have a person coming today that cannot read or write and is 22 years old. If his attitude is good then I will look at giving him part time work and work around his disability. From here it may turn into a full time position. Some people just need someone to give them a chance.
What I am trying to say is there are industries that will give anyone a go you just have to have the right go forward attitude to try anything.
I wish more employers were more like you :)
I'm considering that move to Washington State. Heck I could get a one way plane ticket right now I have enough in my savings to do so. Only problem would be what to do when I get there but hey it'll still beat being where I am now.
:eusa_clap: :eusa_dance: yea, you sound much sunnier than the other day :eusa_clap: :eusa_clap:
way to go!!!
but you don't have to rush there next week, Emily, do you?
If do decide to move it probably be after I turn 25 which is this August. Till then it's more of a wait and see. I mean does someone with just a two year degree got a better chance in Washington State??
Quote from: EmilyRyan on April 04, 2016, 01:22:10 AM
I mean does someone with just a two year degree got a better chance in Washington State??
I have no idea but it's not really important, what counts really is your drive, your will to see... yourself
Quote from: EmilyRyan on April 04, 2016, 01:22:10 AM
Till then it's more of a wait and see.
hmmm, no, if I may... the action has already started. Time to plan, get info, contacts...
have a nice day :-)
One job option for you is temporary work I work for Labor Ready there in just about every state/city in the us. It wont help with healthcare but if your motivated and can atleast get to the local office when a job comes up you'll have work. Its the type of temp work where if you cant do a job that day or dont want to you dont have to I get up to 20 texts every day for all kinds of stuff i've done dishwashing, handy man, sorted at a factory, unloading/loading for several companies, secretary, and several other jobs over the year i've been with em. Its only usually minimum wage bit it can help get you in the door and help you find something you might like to do full time. All you really need to work for them is a cell phone that's how they contact you.
If your committed to moving to washington try to move to one of these cities they all have a office.
Bellingham, Bellevue, Bremerton, Centralia, Everett, Kennewick, Kent, Lacey, Lakewood, Mt. Vernon, Puyallup, Seattle, Spokane, Spokane Valley, Tacoma, Vancouver, Wenatchee, West Seattle, Woodinville, Yakima
And in your home state here's there locations
Chattanooga, Clarksville, Jefferson City, Johnson City, Knoxville, Madison, Murfreesboro, Nashville, North Memphis,
South Memphis
Quote from: EmilyRyan on April 03, 2016, 07:06:35 PM
I wish more employers were more like you :)
There are lots of them. just not in your neck of the woods. When you submit a resume you are selected in the first 6-8 seconds. First thing the recruiter does is check your spelling. Misspelled words mean your resume is going to the trash can. Next they look to see how you fit in. A positive attitude is key If people like you and you are a good fit for your coworkers, employers often look at this fit as being more important than education. Being a blank slate that gets along means they can train you in their own image. Always be on the lookout to improve processes and policies. If you can quantify your accomplishments. Bosses are always looking for initiative and ways for them to look good. Employer don't hire for experience but potential. If you can make me money, If you get along with coworkers, If you come up with ideas to limit expenditures, time, processes. You will always be hired before the lump that comes in looking for a job. By the way. Clean up any tattoo's. studs. nose rings, pink hair. If you think you will be given a test. Study. Investigate the company you are applying to. Find out their stock price, CEO, the product line, why employees like working there. Why did the last person leave. Ask questions. Remember that lump? They don't ask questions they say dumb stuff like I need a job. Duh. Finding a job is like anything in life. You need to work at it and it is hard work. Imagine creating 2000 cover letters each one addressing specific positive aspects of each employer. and job. One last bit of advice is always reminding your employer you are anxious and willing to pursue education that complements your work position. Remember this word and live it. Initiative. You don't have to be the smartest person but you do have to learn to enlist the smartest person in solving your tasks. I learned to write computer programs because I enlisted the help of the IT manager in solving some production metrics. He was more than happy to sit down with me and show me how to do it. Why? Because it relieved him of having to find time each month to run my reports.
Quote from: Soli on April 04, 2016, 04:14:48 AM
hmmm, no, if I may... the action has already started. Time to plan, get info, contacts...
I really wouldn't know what to do if I truly moved to Washington I don't know anybody there and I doubt anyone that I meet over the internet would be willing to take me in till I'm on my feet no matter how nice they be. But hey I at least would be automatically eligible for their state medicaid (and yes it cover trans related care) since I make well under $16,000 for a single adult with no kids. But really I can deal with being dirt poor as long as I can get hormones.
Going off topic I just like to share that I'm considering getting back into a forgotten passion of mine: Photography. I always liked taking pictures since I was a kid and ever since I got my first smartphone over a year ago I been snapping pictures like crazy and sharing them. I would like to hopefully turn that passion into some sort of career even if I don't make much and I already know the hard work and dedication (and money) photography takes and I'm prepared (maybe expect the money part lol).
Try selling photos on Shutterstock. It may not be much, but every little bit helps.
Quote from: CarlyMcx on April 05, 2016, 12:53:38 AM
Try selling photos on Shutterstock. It may not be much, but every little bit helps.
I just looked into Shutterstock and reading about what kind of photos are most likely sell on there I might have a chance especially if I do make it to Washington State that's like photo paradise.