I know this is a 'piece of string' question, but I'm sure newcomers would like a rough ballpark on what to expect. Have you been on hrt for five years and still fly under the radar? Did you get outed after three weeks when someone exclaimed "He's a girl!!!!" Any and all experiences most welcome :)
As a side question you can mention whether or not you were TRYING to go stealth :angel:
Quick reply here. I was able to make it about 8 months before some (not all) people would assume I was a woman as long as I didn't speak. After that I started trying to present as female.
~Evelyn
You could go forever around people you know if you wanted to. It's all in how you dress and present yourself. If a random stranger genders you opposite of what you desire . . . it doesn't matter.
Sapere Aude
I've gone about 6 months before the guys I cycle with noticed that I was much slower and started asking what was up.
From a looks perspective it depends what i am wearing, if I am in guys clothes I still don't look too feminine- if I wear androgynous clothes I am mainly taken as a woman.
Dana
Within months of starting HRT and laser hair removal, I couldn't pass any longer as male (I also had long hair and androgynous features). Had I not done any hair removal, I think I could have passed as male for longer.
I'm at four months; I'm growing my hair out, and three sessions into laser beard removal, but otherwise people are still surprised when I come out to them.
8 years
I made it about a year before I was being occasionally gendered female by strangers. But passing is an overall thing. If you really need to hide it, you can.
I don't look very masculine or androgynous most of the time. If i chose to dress/present that way, and shortened my hair etc i agree that i could do it indefinitely in most situations. Some clothes would require some sort of minimization of my bust though and athletics/swimming would be hard to say the least.
Hi,
I'm just on spiro for the last 6 months. I'm very stealth. Have had people telling me my skin looks softer. Some who have touch me say it's softer. I've even had one guy tell me in the middle of a conversation that I should grow my beard back because it looks better. I definitely got the impression he thought something was up.
Take care,
Paige :)
The beard is a huge disguise. As long as I hide my breasts no one can see past the beard. Luckily I don't have any problems with it.
Quote from: Deborah on April 13, 2016, 07:12:53 AM
You could go forever around people you know if you wanted to. It's all in how you dress and present yourself. If a random stranger genders you opposite of what you desire . . . it doesn't matter.
Sapere Aude
I have heard this before, it will be interesting to see how it works out...
Quote from: KayXo on April 13, 2016, 09:06:05 AM
Within months of starting HRT and laser hair removal, I couldn't pass any longer as male (I also had long hair and androgynous features). Had I not done any hair removal, I think I could have passed as male for longer.
Looks like the 'mones like YOU! Mebbe your bod sucked them up like they'd been missing for some reason ;)
Was the laser that effective?
Quote from: MeghanMe on April 13, 2016, 11:13:12 AM
I'm at four months; I'm growing my hair out, and three sessions into laser beard removal, but otherwise people are still surprised when I come out to them.
Sorry, but do you mean when you reveal you were born male, or when you tell them you're female? Not sure what you're coming out to ???
At 5 months, cannot pass in "T"shirt , boobs way stand out.
In a jumper, they are now visible and nips are prominent.
I'm getting very close.
My shirts are maxed out in size.
I have super puffy areola, AWESOME!!!
Quote from: Deborah on April 13, 2016, 07:12:53 AM
You could go forever around people you know if you wanted to. It's all in how you dress and present yourself. If a random stranger genders you opposite of what you desire . . . it doesn't matter.
This has been my game plan so far. I have been on HRT eight months. I have shoulder-length hair that I keep in a ponytail. My ears are double-pierced, and I wear small studs in my ears. I have almost no facial hair, since I have been doing laser/electrolysis for a year and-a-half.
My only problem is that my breasts are becoming quite noticeable. I work at a DoD facility, and the dress is casual. I usually wear a polo shirt and cargo pants. I thought about wearing a sports bra under my shirt, but that may even be harder to explain if someone notices. Right now I just have big man boobs.
So far I don't
think anyone suspects anything, lol. For all I know, there could be whispers. In a way, I don't care. It could actually make it easier when I finally come out as trans.
~Terri
I started presenting female full time five months before starting HRT. I was passing maybe 70% of the time (either that or I lived in an extremely supportive community).
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
I made it three months before I had to come out at work; six months before I categorically could not pass as male even to strangers. Realistically, I'd say I had hit the point where I had trouble hiding it ("male fail") by around that 3-4 month mark. I too had waist-length hair and had already done laser, though. Maybe with a buzz cut and a beard I could have stretched it a little longer. :)
So far going five months strong mostly undetected.
However I'm certain I'm running out of time before male fail occurs.
I know for certain a few people are suspicious.
But being the free spirited type I can play off any accusation.
My face and skin texture has changed substantially however. I think my saving grace is the shadow of hair on my upper lip since I haven't done any hair removal from my face.
I might have two more months or so at best.
After about 3 months I really had too much breast tissue to comfortably hide.
I said earlier you can go forever around people you know. I do get male fail all the time around strangers. But people you have known a while will see what they expect to see. On the occasion that one of them does say something I just laugh at it. No problem.
Sapere Aude
well I'll find out ...my experience will be swayed tho because I am bald. so unless I start showing up in a wig, or develop significant breast size, it may not be noticeable at all. But I've a feeling my self perception will be different and I will come out at work long before I needed to :D
Quote from: Marlee on April 14, 2016, 11:49:17 AM
But I've a feeling my self perception will be different and I will come out at work long before I needed to :D
I think this is an important statement, because a lot of the initial changes from HRT usually go unnoticed by everyone, but we blow-up everything exponentially in our mind, and tend to think the effects and changes are greater than they actually are (be aware of the rapid onset of placebo effect from HRT "pink cloud" syndrome). 🎀
I think the HRT has had very noticeable effects on me. I can wear female clothing a lot more comfortably and well-fitted to my body. I don't see very much of a man or a boy in the dress anymore, and I am sure that I would pass if I went public.
I'm still presenting as male for social and family reasons, but strangers often guess female... but my family and friends have not said anything nor imply it. Nobody has really said anything, but maybe I am being too overly analytical when I think that some coworkers may be probing a little bit. In general... I think people see what they want to see.
If you're prepared to give people something to feed their preconceptions, you can go a long time. Google "invisible gorilla" for a big lesson on people missing what they're not looking for.
So I'm now 14 months into HRT and have been on a low dose the whole time.
Even on the low dose I've had noticeable breast development since I was 7 months in and now I'm up to a 38B.
The last time I had a hair cut was January of 2014...
I'm not publicly out yet, although I've morphed my wardrobe over to 98% female pants and a mixture of male and female tops that all lean to the androgynous.
I've been careful to pick my work clothing such that the tops are over-sized and baggy enough to hide my chest. My changes have been slow and steady, and thank god I work with a bunch of male engineers who are oblivious.
I'm out to one female coworker and as she says, Joan of Arch could ride through the building naked and these men won't notice. From my experiences to date, the men at work who have known me for many years see what they want to see.
As for outside of work, shopping and at restaurants I'm gendered female more and more no matter what I wear.
I know my time is limited and I plan to fully transition this year, but I've been able to get by for the past 14 months anyway.
Not sure if any of this helps...
Four years and running. Careful wardrobe selection helps.
Invisible gorilla indeed.
Quote from: luna nyan on April 15, 2016, 12:33:26 AM
Four years and running. Careful wardrobe selection helps.
Invisible gorilla indeed.
In your case Hon it isn't the invisible gorilla, it is because the female gorilla in the room hasn't been noticed for some reason :laugh:
I think you are a classic case of people see what they are use to seeing. I think that is important, I was seen as male, when I outed myself and returned dressed and acting as me, people saw female. That was in a two day time line. Accepted as male on Friday, OMG why didn't we realise on Monday.
Quote from: Cindy on April 15, 2016, 02:22:03 AM
In your case Hon it isn't the invisible gorilla, it is because the female gorilla in the room hasn't been noticed for some reason :laugh:
I think you are a classic case of people see what they are use to seeing. I think that is important, I was seen as male, when I outed myself and returned dressed and acting as me, people saw female. That was in a two day time line. Accepted as male on Friday, OMG why didn't we realise on Monday.
As I say. Running. ;)
People see what they expect to see. I've always favoured dark and loose clothing so no obvious changes there.
Misdirection, bluffing, all that goes a long way. I got away with electro because I had that done first and long before HRT otherwise there'd be a lot more questions asked.
Quote from: luna nyan on April 15, 2016, 05:18:02 AM
As I say. Running. ;)
People see what they expect to see. I've always favoured dark and loose clothing so no obvious changes there.
Misdirection, bluffing, all that goes a long way. I got away with electro because I had that done first and long before HRT otherwise there'd be a lot more questions asked.
This is a treasure trove of information.
I've started low dose and laser last month. I plan on changing my presentation in the middle of next year for professional and personal reasons. The replies above indicate that this will be possible although the tenderness in my chest starting last week indicates that some breast development may be coming.
I've also not had my hair cut for almost a year and it's certainly provoking comments from my personal friends. I manage to swat them away with a joke or two. Fortunately no one I deal with professionally has said anything as I couldn't adopt the same approach.
Julie
After three months HRT and 1-2 laser sessions, I hit male fail. However, the biggest contributing factors for me were waxing my eyebrows and carrying a purse, and maybe wearing female clothes. I had this cute punky purse with me one day, but wasn't really wearing lady clothes. My hair was already shoulder-length. Even talking (briefly) and not trying to pass, I still got a ma'am from some guy. I don't think he was paying much attention, but still, I knew I was hitting male fail pretty solidly. Voice caught up after six months HRT. I wasn't trying to go full-time so quickly, but four months in and it was becoming as difficult to try passing as a guy as it was a lady. So full-time quickly became the easier and more preferable option.
Once you start HRT and beard removal, hair and brows become important markets for male fail.
In my own case, if I'm late on a haircut I definitely start looking girly.
I think I can agree with most, that the people closest to you see you as who you've been. For me I was on HRT the first time for 5 months. I enjoyed this second-first "puberty" quite a bit. The soft skin, tingling body and arm hairs that were slowly diminishing, and the throbbing soreness that pulsated in my nipples. And then when the nodules started forming, and the nipples retracted, and I started to see substantial growth, I got scared, and decided to stop. The urge and need drew me back time and time again. Now after coming out to my wife (after I had made my own decision to try HRT without her knowledge-which I would not recommend doing) she has come around and at least been able to understand what I have been going through. Our conclusion was that it is best for me emotionally to remain on a low dose of estrogen, but the problem is the continued breast growth. I assume that this is a major point of contention that I would believe all transgender people experience on their journey some time. That's where I am...my paths are converging whether I like it or not. This is what is the most troubling part of my dysphoria, and I am right in the middle of it. I want to hide my transition until I'm ready, but my physical changes are at the point where I can't hide them very much longer. This is a struggle, and a predicament, when you are not in control of when you are ready to transition. I imagine the reality is that we all don't have much of a choice after a certain point. So my two cents: be very sure of what you really want before you test the waters. I think if you have taken any step towards HRT, then I believe your path is pretty much a given. It's really only a matter of time before you transition fully, and you quit trying to be someone you are not. TBH, I'm tired of wearing spanks, and I find myself not caring as much about hiding all the time. After going around several times with this, I've made the decision to continue the low dosage regardless. I'm growing tits, and I guess me and everyone else who notices will just have to deal with it ;) This is a great post topic. I really enjoyed many of your comments.
Jimmie
Quote from: Ashey on April 15, 2016, 08:33:37 PM
After three months HRT and 1-2 laser sessions, I hit male fail. However, the biggest contributing factors for me were waxing my eyebrows and carrying a purse, and maybe wearing female clothes. I had this cute punky purse with me one day, but wasn't really wearing lady clothes. My hair was already shoulder-length. Even talking (briefly) and not trying to pass, I still got a ma'am from some guy. I don't think he was paying much attention, but still, I knew I was hitting male fail pretty solidly. Voice caught up after six months HRT. I wasn't trying to go full-time so quickly, but four months in and it was becoming as difficult to try passing as a guy as it was a lady. So full-time quickly became the easier and more preferable option.
Almost exactly my story. :)
Mannerisms, dress and hair make a big difference. Interestingly my first male fail came when i was carrying a purse as well.
Only 3 months in on HRT but swimming is no longer an option due to breast growth until I get my hair and voice acceptable for a swimsuit. It's a sacrifice I'm prepared to make as I do love my breasts.
Given how much I've changed over the past 16 months coworkers just accept I'm still working on being "healthy" and regularly express their approval of the new me. With how I dress and generally am now though it would not surprise me if there were suspicions.
Regularly get double takes in public as people try to work out what I am. Even caught a few going as far as the package check (TG I learned to tuck lol).
Taking it all as signs of progress. A long way to go but I'm having fun being me.
Once the world can see me I'll change my name and keep doing what I'm doing.
Whoa kinda ran away with myself there but yeah for anything that's not topless you could crossdress as male indefinitely. Funny eh
Quote from: Jerrica on April 21, 2016, 05:50:57 PM
Only 3 months in on HRT but swimming is no longer an option due to breast growth until I get my hair and voice acceptable for a swimsuit. It's a sacrifice I'm prepared to make as I do love my breasts.
A competition bikini and a rash guard/swim shirt took care of that problem for me.
The bikini flattens you out and the shirt covers it up. It might not look right if you are indoors though.
Thank you for your idea but unfortunately it's indoor swimming here with rather close proximity in the showers.
In just shorts I'm a far easier read as a mismatch.
A top of sorts could be an option but I'm not really sure.
I rarely went swimming tbh but did love the steam room.
Will just have to wait until my hair gets long enough to style then that should be enough to tip the balance in a swimsuit as long as I don't need to speak. All I'll need then is the courage to actually do it ofc but worries for another day.
Have heard of tight tops etc but I'd be scared of somehow damaging my breasts or changing their growth pattern.
Still totally worth it though as I am coming to love my body as it continues to heal.
I've gone a couple years stealth among people I have to see every day like for work. It's very possible but requires commitment. I haven't started on my face yet so that's been the biggest mask for me until I live completely alone again and can get started. I have a very manly beard, but most people would be amazed what's underneath my clothes.
If you are lucky you live up north where it is cool most of the time. If you are lucky. Otherwise prepare to be hot and uncomfortable until you are in the privacy of your home/bedroom.
I live in Florida.... So commitment for me is wearing t-shirt + medium women's compression shirt at ALL times. No compression underneath and the tits are immediately BAM unavoidable. Very obvious they are not mens breasts in just a shirt. So get used to the feeling of a tight compression tank top. For me it really helped to put it over a normal shirt, felt much better.
I think I saw someone mention the pool in a post? Forget it. Beach and pools are off limits until you are presenting as female unless you like non stop staring. I lived directly on the beach when I began, it was a hard transition there.
That said, the layers of compression help maintain a bulkier "manly" build. On hormones my figure has definitely changed but the clothes mostly hide it. If you have to be outside then you are going to sweat. A lot. Learn to deal with it and learn to be uncomfortable. For me it had been an amazing motivation to keep my ass working to the finish line.
Apologies for going a bit offtopic but if you don't mind my asking how did your breast development go while compressed for so long?
Just started growing recently so always worry I can somehow accidentally break them or otherwise mess up their growth.
I don't compress in any way just a comfort bra 24/7ish though probably a bit more worried about things than most.
Quote from: Rafaela on April 13, 2016, 06:42:12 AM
I know this is a 'piece of string' question, but I'm sure newcomers would like a rough ballpark on what to expect. Have you been on hrt for five years and still fly under the radar? Did you get outed after three weeks when someone exclaimed "He's a girl!!!!" Any and all experiences most welcome :)
As a side question you can mention whether or not you were TRYING to go stealth :angel:
I think that if you just take hormones you can live as a man forever as you will have facial hair and you can easily hide breast (if you ever get some) if you do not live in a tropical country and wear a jacket all the time.
Unless they get huge they look like developed pecs under a loose shirt if you have an athletic frame.
Sapere Aude
What about hiding nipples?
I normally wear somewhat loose button shirts and it's not an issue. It would be with a tight polo shirt.
Sapere Aude
Quote from: rochyrob on April 29, 2016, 11:12:21 AM
What about hiding nipples?
My nipples got really big, but I was able to conceal them with a bandaid, and I wore a tight t-shirt as an under garment as well.
Quote from: Rafaela on April 13, 2016, 06:42:12 AM
I know this is a 'piece of string' question, but I'm sure newcomers would like a rough ballpark on what to expect. Have you been on hrt for five years and still fly under the radar? Did you get outed after three weeks when someone exclaimed "He's a girl!!!!" Any and all experiences most welcome :)
As a side question you can mention whether or not you were TRYING to go stealth :angel:
My chest growth, as well as passing as a woman without meaning to, outed me at work after five months of hrt. I was young, though.
Quote from: Jerrica on April 29, 2016, 03:04:42 AM
Apologies for going a bit offtopic but if you don't mind my asking how did your breast development go while compressed for so long?
Just started growing recently so always worry I can somehow accidentally break them or otherwise mess up their growth.
I don't compress in any way just a comfort bra 24/7ish though probably a bit more worried about things than most.
I've been very happy with my development. Using the ace bandages trick can and probably will cause damage or detriment to growth so I wouldn't touch that, but compression gear is safer. I can't say for sure 100% but in my experience the growth has been great anyway and any athletic girl is using a compression tank or bra for support. If anything would out me it would be my breast growth so personally I don't think the compression has hindered at all.
Just get one that fits though, dont downsize for tighter fits. You wanna breathe lol
This is what I use. It's available on Amazon and it comes in a variety of colors to match whatever you are wearing over it. I've tried different shirts and tops but I have lots of these! By far my favorite =]
Game Gear Women's Compression Support Fitness Odor Resistant Top
as far as nipples - if compression doesn't cut it and you are lucky to have giant nips then literally search "nipple cover" on amazon, you'll find many many choices lol
Thanks Lexi :)
Always good to have that extra bit of reassurance to fend off the fear of somehow sabotaging my own future.
My old body and mind were almost complete destroyed by ignorance, definitely not taking any chances.
6 months, my boobs were out in full force and me being as thin as I'am, it was impossible to hide with sports bras by then. I was forced to come out to my best friend when he visited, couldnt hide it anymore.
Managed about 18 months before anyone noticed. I did a lot of electrolysis and grew my hair out at the same time, people often thought I was starting to look younger!
I don't really know if it counts but I've taken low does hormones very sporadically for the best part of 5 years, but probably equal to about 8 months when totalled up as consecutive doses. I'm 100% stealth and have never been noticed to my knowledge. Once or twice girls in the office commented on my 'man boobs' which put the fear of God into me. I now wear a compression vest to work and along with having lost weight, nobody seems to notice my (small) breast growth.
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I'm 5 months in and if I wanted to it would be easy to hide, but I'm presenting full time and haven't tried it out yet. I'd say if you haven't done facial hair removal yet that is a way to hide as a beard is pretty obvious!
I look forward to the day I can reach male fail, if that happens. Most people here are reporting similar time-scales to me or shorter so not feeling too confident :(
However, I suppose if you really worked hard at it you could hide it forever, but it would probably end up being quite uncomfortable due to needing a binder and such.
can i ask how old are you, the younger it will be harder to hide
I'm MTF and pass with zero problems. That being said, I can go out in guy drag, turn on the awkward clomping about, put the 1000 mile stare on, dial the monotone guy voice down and presto, I'm a skinny guy and no one would even question it. Just as I'm able to do the opposite and achieve the opposite goal. People see what you show them and they know what you want them to know. I suspect much of that is because most people simply don't care. If you want to know if you pass either way, get around a pack of children. They're brutal! lol
Quote from: bubblegum90 on December 28, 2018, 03:43:38 PM
can i ask how old are you, the younger it will be harder to hide
Hi, Bubblegum90!
Welcome to Susan's Place.
Thanks for jumping in. The post(s) that you are commenting on are a couple of years old, so the member might not be around to reply.
I started at age 62, and after three months, the changes were getting hard to conceal.
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