After much deliberation and how and when i would come out, the coming out time is upon me. I initially decided i would start HRT first before i come out to my wife, but my therapist has sensibly convinced me otherwise.
This indecision that is a part of coming out is so nerve racking and one tends to want to look for excuses to delay it. As my therapist said. ´´Davina, you are a transsexual woman. I dont want to see you come back to me when you are 70.´´
So yes. In my mind i have finally decided it is time for Davina to live her life. Of course my thoughts go out to my young children and whether i might ever see them again. But i also know that my life cannot continue like this. For the first time in my life up until i decided to transition, i realised i have been suffering from depression without even knowing about it. Since my decision to transition, i cant believe how relieved i feel and how determined i am to improve myself physically and mentally. I have gone on a very healthy diet, i stopped drinking alcohol. I go to the gym every day and am getting myself into shape. Things i havent been able to do for years. I must be doing the right thing then.
I have also started to do subtle feminization changes to myself. Pierced my ears, plucked my eyebrows, growing my hair and nails. Its becoming a little obvious that something is happening with me. If i dont come out, i might be caught out. I have also secretly been using my wifes makeup. I am sure she will notice soon. I have now for the first time in my life bought my own.
When i see my therapist next monday, i will be dressed up and wearing makeup in front of someone else other than myself for the first time. I am really excited about it.
Back to coming out. I wrote my wife a letter and my therapist is reviewing it. We will discuss it together on monday and then it will be time to give it to my wife. Although i am seriously nervous. I dont want to delay transitioning any longer. I am now at desperation point to live as a woman.
Love Davina
Congratulations Davina! I am very happy to hear you are "taking the plunge." Everyone faces the fear of rejection. My past year has been a year of coming out. The first is the hardest, but it does get easier as you go.
You will feel so good to have the weight lifted of keeping the secret. I wish you good luck!
Moni
A) get your own makeup and clothes. Amazon can help if you don't want to shop for it in person. I would never want tosh are my makeup because I'd be sharing bacteria too. And I'd be annoyed if my favorite clothes started getting worn or going missing.
B) congrats! Coming out is a big step, and your therapist is probably right about waiting on HRT until after you have a viable support network to help you through the ups and downs of transition.
C) self care is really important, and I and many other trans people have shifted towards much better care of themselves once we had something we could lose. I personally want to enjoy being a woman for as long as possible.
Hugs,
- Katie
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
A) Totally agree especially at first. But fair warning as my wife got more comfortable with me she now steals my stuff!!!
B) Coming out first seems fair as although you don't need it your wife might give her blessing for HRT making life a lot easier.
C) So true and love your wording "once we had something we could lose" sums it up beautifully.
Sent from my GT-I9195I using Tapatalk