Sorry, I do everything around the wrong way... Post first introduce myself later.
My name is Sara, I am 41 although I am a very young looking 41 year old (have been told I look like I'm in my late 20's early 30's - I love those people). I live in Australia with my lovely wife (doesnt understand any of this or doesnt want to) and son who is growing up fast.
I have been wearing girls cloths for like ages and have been through a bit over the years and am a mess with my emotions but I started HRT over five years ago to treat a libido problem, funny thing is the libido problem was really a gender issue. I just kept suppressing my feelings until now I am an emotional wreck. I think the only time I ever blurted out I wanted to be a girl was to a fiend at a bar one day. Crying I just said it and all he could say was "If you get your thingy cut off then that's the last time I will ever be with you" now I am not gay (not that there is anything wrong with that and I see myself as a girl who likes men and women so I guess I am a female bisexual) and I was a bit hurt by his words as I felt that I had openned up to him and that he really liked girls but apparently not. So anyway that very same year I decided to get rid of my libido and I got a letter of referal to see an Endocrinologist. The Doctor put me on HRT strait away, he kept saying now you don't want to be a girl do you and I knew that if I admitted that then I would be straight off to a shrink (NO THANK YOU SIR) so I said no not me and I continued on the path of HRT.
Down the track a bit I was feeling very dissorientated and couldnt remember if I had taken my pills that day and so I doubled up on my tablets just to be sure but what happened threw me into a gigantic panic attack. I had feelings of pain in my chest in my head and I was really cold, I blacked out for a bit and being scared I thought it qwas the bad tablets that had done this to me so I stopped cold turkey which I should not have done. I must admit my breast did get alot larger in the space of 24 hours and that was good but everything else was not, soooo I am now trying to slowly introduce my body to hormones again and because I had a large rush of Testosterone back into my body I now suffer from panic attacks/breathlesness/sore stomach and palpitating veins so when I take any tablets I get very uptight.
I am slowly increasing dosage again and it is working well and I get to see my endocrinologist soon and have also booked in to see a Therapist because deep down I cannnot keep my feelings locked away any longer and as hard as it might be I have to press on even if it kills me.
There is more but I will not bore you.....
Sara.
QuoteI must admit my breast did get alot larger in the space of 24 hours and that was good but everything else was not, soooo I am now trying to slowly introduce my body to hormones again and because I had a large rush of Testosterone back into my body I now suffer from panic attacks/breathlesness/sore stomach and palpitating veins so when I take any tablets I get very uptight.
Sara, taking proper dosage of HRT medicaions doesn't take any toll on a healthy body, nothing to work up to and other for some side effects that would be explained by your doctor and in the scripture with the medication itself almost nothing would be felt for some time on them. It generally takes a few months to even begin recognizable growth and I've never seen or heard of such in 24 hours or a week or two either. Testosterone fluxations can be a little different. I've been taken off all meds including T blockers a couple of times over medical problems which the docs said were estrogen caused, one problem being a hemmorage in my brain which left my left side somewhat less then cooperativefor a few months and so have had a few times of being jumped from 0 measurable testosterone back to full punch and yes that can be a trama but only in how you feel and relate to other people from my experience in it. At present I am pure estrogen and above high normal for females at that and no matter what happens will never experience T again under any circumstrances and for that I'm grateful.
If you are subject to panic attacks, breathlessness and stomach problems discusss these things with both MD and Psychiatrist as there is something wrong aside from just T and they can provide medication and therapy on the problem.
Anyway, with the HRT, nothing to ease into if you are under proper medical care and following perscribed advise. Nothing to ease into at all, Just take the perscribe dosage and wait and wait and wait until the effects settle in after a couple/few months. In time you will feel better over the changes in your life, both psysically and socially or regret what you have gotten yourself into. Depends on how you adapt to the truth of transition or not.
Terri
I'm sorry the large breast area was the chest expanding due to my heart palpitations. I was thinking that someone would take that the wrong way. When I was little my mum said that it used to do that and the Doctors were amazed at the change in appearance of the breast/chest area.
I didnt get my breast growth until about 12 months into treatment as I was on high doses of Aldactone prescribed by my first Endo and nothing else so then I went to see my current Endo and he put me on the right medication and they started to grow.
I have been on Estrogen/Aldactone and Androcur for five years and have also seen my endocrinologist for that period of time but I dont see him until March as he is booked out until then as for the therapist I have to also wait for an appointment which is in May as they are also booked out.
I am just plodding along until then wasting my time with a GP who doesnt seem to know much of anything when it comes to hormones.
But you are right, if I took the right dosage in the first place maybe this would not have happened to me and because I now know that I really do need to see a shrink I have taken appropriate steps towards that.
I have no problems dressing like the female that I am so there is no issue there but the emotional issues caused by the rapid jump in T has left me a bit jitterish so I guess I will talk about that when I see the shrink.
Sara.
Sounds like you are dealing with some serious issues and some risky medical people. You mentioned heart palpitations. What is the cause of these. Generally with such you should in no way be dealing with estrogens. T blockers wouldn't have much effect in that regard, but there is a worry about potassium levels in your body as depending on the type they can either retain or eliminate potassium and to much or to little can cause sever cramps in muscles, including the heart. I had that problem once from to much potassium and the concern was so very real. It only took a little less then a week to get the potassium back to normal though and no damage was done.
Estrogen though relates to blood clots and can severly affect a bad heart or cause a stroke, and nobody with heart problems should be dealing with them without very careful and frequent supervision which in most cases would be denied because of the medical risks.
Tests can be done to check blood condition for clots, but they can surprise you. I had a a complete physical and blood tests which showed me perfectly normal on all counts, days later I went down hard with a right brain stroke and spent months rehabilitating. I was only able to go back on HRT after first having an Orchie to reduce the amount of estrogen I could take and eliminate the blockers. I started HRT with Hepititus C which is a liver disease and aside from the stroke problem needed to get all extra effort off of the liver caused by both estrogen and spiro anyway. I know what can happen even under the best of care which is completely covered under my insurance and I am a hospital worker and see a lot many people wouldn't. Even women can't generally be given estrogen for menapausal problems if they have heart conditions. The doctors will not perscribe to them.
I don't know what your condition is Sara and there are so few things males are proscribed estrogen for, but usually none who have heart problems. Best advice is seek the best medical advice you can afford or aquire as something isn't right with your presant medical care. check it out as soon as possible and get a good explaination on exactly what is wrong with you to require HRT medication for it and for real, find out exactly what is wrong with your heart that makes the chest expand to any extent.
There are many reasons why Aldactones might be perscribed, but for sure find out why the estrogens were later included if you did not ask for them for transitional purposes, and why they were perscribed at all with heart problems.
Don't worry to much about your MD not knowing much about estrogens. That same MD probably perscribes and monitores many women on them, but may simply not know the limitations or excesses of working with males on them. That is a seperate ball game that takes different experience, thus the Endo's who specialise in hormones and hormone issues.
Terri
Terri, that is the exact same thing I thought of but I had an Xray (one of those imaging things where they shoot you full of iodine) and I also had an ultrasound on both legs and they came back normal, my blood tests show me as normal even my TSH and Prolactin levels were normal, as my Doctor put it your vitals are discustingly great. I have heard that those iodine imaging things can sometime cause thrombosis as well but my Endo feels that everything is ok. So why am I out of breath most days and got bruising of the legs and head stabbing pains, I dont know but it sure did feel like I was dying. One thing I will mention is that when the T came back into my body I felt like masturbating which I havent done a great deal of for 5 years and every time I did it the depression became unbearable and suicidle thoughts jumped into my head and I had to keep telling myself to not be so stupid and get a grip. I have done this a few times and each time the result is the same. I can manage it better if I do not masturbate so now I leave it alone.
I have had to go off my estrogen becuase of the scare and until I get it sorted out I will have to stay off it. The thing I do not like about this is that male characteristics creep back in ( ie) body hair which I do not like and I havent had to have any hair removal ever because my hair dissapeared completely whilst on medication.
It could just all be in my head all this stuff and I guess I will have the shrink find this out or it could just be the extreme levels of T. My brain may also be crying out for Estrogen now that I am not on it anymore - these are the million dollar questions which I hope to get answered soon.
Sara.
Hi Sara,
I have to say I'm with Terri Gene on this, You need to get to the bottom of this soon. Something doesn't sound right. Get with your Dr.'s Tell them this an emegancy you need to be seen by the DR. can they put you on a call you in if there's a canselation type thing. If not I'ld even think of finding another DR. that can help not so busy that you can't get answers when you need them. Your GP should be able to get answers and guidence from your Endo and Therapist. They should all be working with each other for the betterment of your health issues. I am able to get answers bakc through email with my DR. but then he is a very cutinedge kind of Dr. too. Check it out in the email avenue. See if yours is willing to have you keep him abreast on how your doing and feeling through them.
Have a great day.
Smiles,
Peggiann
Peggiann, I have written to my Endo but havent heard a thing, he was in LA a while back doing a seminar so maybe he has been snowed under but I will call him today and see if I can get his email address and see what he thinks about all of this. There is only so many tests you can do and I have had everything apart from an MRI to see if there is a clot on the brain, all other parts appear to be normal. I do however have a slight tender area on both my Testicles as they have dropped back out of the holes since I have been off my medication. There is a dull ache on the top of both of them but if I dont touch them they are sorta ok. I HATE THOSE THINGS and I will be asking the shrink to allow me to get rid of them soon forever (worried that it may be harder to srs/grs if they shrink too much so I will have to talk that over with someone) but I definately want them out. I have been saying to Doctors for years that they have been a problem for me and testosterone and they said was you are young and male you should be out there doing what boys do and all along I said somethings not right.
Sara.
Quoteworried that it may be harder to srs/grs if they shrink too much so I will have to talk that over with someone
don't matter how much the testicles shrink Sara. Just that they can cut them out. The major problem with removing them is the usual method of taking them out through the scrotum which leaves scar tissue that prevents the skin from properly streatching when it is used in the vaginal lining.
I had a long talk with the dr. who did my orchiectomy. What we decided to do was not touch the scrotum at all, rather incisions were made in my lower abdomin and the testicles were removed from the inside out with no cutting at all of external skin on the scotum. There were two incisions, one on each side of the penis and from there, the doc went in, pulled the testicles up and cut them off. I was back at work full time on full duty in a week, though the doc had told me he didn't want me to do any heavy lifting for a month or so, but I had no problems whatsoever.
I would suggest this method of removal for anyone seeking SRS later as there is no skin tissue damage at all, it is untouched. See an Orchieotomist to get it done, these are the surgons who work on such things. the whole operation was pretty simple. I went in, undressed, talked with some of the staff, who all knew me as I work for the hospital and after they took me into the operating room I was given a shot and the next thing I knew I was back in the receiving room waking up.
A nurse was nearby so I talked with her a bit then put my clothing back on and waited for my woman to come and get me and walked out and down the stairs to my car and went home. I had to wait two days before taking the bandages off so I could take a shower. There was never any realistic pain or discomfort except for getting up after sitting down and such things because of the stitches in my lower belly. a couple of weeks later it was like nothing had been done comfort wise. The scars are a little over an inch long and by this time hardly even show, but can be felt easily enough when touched.
Teri
Thank you so much Terri Gene. I was worried that maybe there was a lot of pain involved. I guess it would be good to have it done that way, I dont know who in Australia does it that way but I can ask around I guess.
Were you able to stop taking you Spiro and other antiandrogens?
Sara.
QuoteWere you able to stop taking you Spiro and other antiandrogens?
Spiro yes, no need at all for it anymore. Estrogens no. But my dosage was reduced to a mear "maintenance" type does which drives drown the work on the liver and less as likely to clot, though cloting is always a problem even on smallest workable doses, but I haven't had a problem at all with thrombosis since and it seems all the damage from it is nearly gone it is only notacable in small details and I hope to hell that lasts
About the estrogen dose. The level taken now is far below the former necessary amount and I had my doubts it would continue to work, but my Dr. insisted it would work just finebut gave me a miniscule increase and it seems to be continuing to work as it should, it just feels different.
Before I was on Premarin and Spiro and now only Estrodiol. I'm not sure if it is the lack of spiro or just a difference in the mechanics of the estrogen, but while on the premarin I always had a kind of tingling going on and in the morning when I got up and absolute buzz but now on the low estrogen trip I feel nothing at all, but I can confirm growth in the way my work bras fit me, they are getting tighter toward the top of the cup whereas before they just fell into the cup and the top was always a little loose, but no more.
Terri
Terri Gene,
Are you able to take post op doses or is it much lower than that?
Sara.
What made you think for an instant second it was any good on it's own Sara? it's the estro that does the work, the spiro just justs kicks the T to allow it to work.
No Dr. would try anything like that.
as to comparitive dosage with post-op maintanance? about the same for most I would guess, but I don't know, I'm not post op.
Terri
Terri Gene, I had to remove that post cause I didnt read the rules properly but in answer to the anti androgens being given on their own, yep thats what happened and I knew it was wrong so I left that Endo and went to another who set me straight. I was on Anti Androgens and Estrogen until I had the probs with heart, breathing and vein palpitaions that is why I can only have the anti anrogens at this stage until I find out what it is causing the health issues but in the mean time I am so stressed out from the rise in T that it is causing a lot of problems.
So that is why I am going to ask for the BO before I have GRS/SRS - I simply cannot afford GRS/SRS at this stage yet.
Sara.