Okay, i basically already understood i was transgender
but i don't often read however i read a book that reminded me of myself and even gave me another idea to part of identity. I feel like iv'e never been hit with the overwhelming wave of you're trans but i was just hit with that wave iv'e been hit by things like this relating to this but not this. It actually scared me i didn't realize how close i would be to that how close my thoughts related to others not in this extent never in this extent.
I know what i'm going to do, i'm already getting down that road but for some reason my brain is behind
and only now yelling at me "What am i going to do" "What am i going to do" like some type of freak out.
It's to much, and its scaring me
where am i going to go to escape being considered "She" i'd have to escape where i was born for sure.
And how am i going to escape where i live when i don't have the items and knowledge to do that yet.
And then i think to myself i'm going to be stuck, this wont end.
How am i going to live that life when im already skiddish in my nature and scared to speak out.
The reality iv'e known hit me late
really late for some reason....and its a lot.
I think it comes to many of us like that. My feelings, fears and thoughts continue to evolve. I put on a decent act like it is all together for me, but it is not and may never be completely.
I do know that i am happier and healthier now and that i am better for my loved ones around me. I don't have to put on the façade of being a man of any sort anymore. Maybe i am not 100% accepted by everyone in society and in my circles of life, but then again most people can say that about a whole host of individual things such as spiritual beliefs etc.
There is still a lot of unknown for me, but one strategy i do apply as much as i can is to count the positives (blessings) as my Mom and Grandmother use to say all the time. That helps drive the fear away..
Hi,
Like anything large and overwhelming when you look at it all at once. Stand back and take it one step at a time. Make a plan and get help from a gender therapist.