I have. Over and over again since I was about twelve. Kind of makes you lose faith. Then you find God has a sense of humor when the doctor puts you on spiro for congestive heart failure and end up growing some boobs and losing your sex drive. Now that very same disease is taking away my ability for HRT. I wish I could be fully feminized and a kinder, gentler, and a more caring Dawn appear. I have never been macho. Yeah I played sports, but most girls have too. I think the perfect me would look more like Julie Bowen and less "Green Giant". HO HO HO boy I really need to work on my vocalization.
Well... I don't know. I don't pray in a literal sense, but in a figurative sense... I've often thought (and still think) about my gender identity and am unsure if I'm just a crossdresser who's unhappy for reasons other than gender identity, or a transwoman who still hasn't quite owned up to it. But I've often thought that if I could simply snap my fingers and turn into a beautiful woman without any fuss or complications, I would go ahead and snap those fingers. It's just that I don't feel like I want to go through the whole transition process, and I'm not sure I'd even be significantly happier afterwards even if I turned out quite well.
(Though I'd keep the penis personally. I don't have any sort of dysphoria about my genitalia and I'd prefer to have a penis over a vagina either way. For that matter, I'd also prefer my partners to have one, regardless of their gender and sex, though it is not a dealbreaker or even an important consideration.)
Quote from: DawnOday on April 20, 2016, 01:11:47 PM
I have. Over and over again since I was about twelve. Kind of makes you lose faith. Then you find God has a sense of humor when the doctor puts you on spiro for congestive heart failure and end up growing some boobs and losing your sex drive. Now that very same disease is taking away my ability for HRT. I wish I could be fully feminized and a kinder, gentler, and a more caring Dawn appear. I have never been macho. Yeah I played sports, but most girls have too. I think the perfect me would look more like Julie Bowen and less "Green Giant". HO HO HO boy I really need to work on my vocalization.
It's not about the destination it's about the journey. Life is long so enjoy its twists and turns. You don't allways know you may get. Enjoy your boobs and love who you are. I enjoy your positive and inspirational posts Dawn. Be the person you want to be.
I haves and still pray to become a woman. I'm thankful to Him for the people in my life and the journey. I wish you the best
Deanna
Oh, gosh yes! One of my earliest memories.
When I was in 2nd grade, I think, the teacher in our (private, religious) school had us all pray silently, then went around the classroom asking what we had prayed for. Being the truthful trusting little rug rat that I was, I said "I prayed that God would make me a girl." It turns out that asking God to commit a mortal sin was looked on with disfavor by the management, and I experienced my first broken yardstick across my wrist.
For some reason I eventually developed an iron-clad male persona to hide behind that held up over 5 decades...
Yes, 16,425 or more times. That was daily for 45 years.
Sapere Aude
I did daily for years while I was growing up and still believed in God. It never did anything to help one way or another. It made me realize that either God was unnecessarily cruel or he did not exist. I don't believe anymore for unrelated reasons and now I am much more comfortable about facing this. I'm glad I moved on so I could just be me. Doctors are the ones who can really help me, so I focus more of my attention toward them.
Every night from the time I was around 4 until I was around 14 or 15. And cried a lot of mornings.
Quote from: Deborah on July 12, 2016, 04:30:00 PM
Yes, 16,425 or more times. That was daily for 45 years.
Sapere Aude
I have not prayed "to be female" every day but have done so for more than 45 years beginning when I was around 8 or 9 years old.
Yes! Every night, every birthday, every stray eyelash blown into the wind, every wishbone, every 12:34 and 11:11 am or pm that I've seen, every first star, every time I pray before mass, every time anyone asks "if you could have one thing ...?" or "what super power would you want?", every time I've seen a movie where people switched places, every time I hear a woman say that it would be better to be male and every I look at before-after photos or videos since as far back as I can remember. I never new why until I figured out that I was trans - surprisingly only a few years ago. Always wondered if everyone else was unhappy with their given gender but afraid to ask.
Prayed, asked Santa, made my wishes known to the gender faery and everything else since I was like 10 or so...to no avail, but did not stop me for many years. Finally figured out I had the ability to at least correct some of the cosmic injustice and am now fixing what I can.
Life is a journey and it is good if we, each one, make the best of it! Serenity comes in acceptance and finally work towards what we have control over. The rest, the part we come to understand we have no control over, is our challenge that builds our individual character.
Love you all! <3
>^..^<
Not prayed in the religious sense, but yes, many times I daydreamed myself to sleep with wishing that somehow I would get a sex change. Many, many, many times.
It took decades to realize that I was thinking that because that was really what I wanted. And that the only way it was going to happen was if I started doing something about it.
I can't say that I did - but only because I'm not the praying type. I suspect though, that even had a miracle happened and I'd woken up one morning with a vag my parents would have stubbornly persevered with the whole "you were born a boy" routine regardless.
Never prayed for one, but wish, prayed and dreamed to be female. Hugs
Mariah
Quote from: Mariah on July 17, 2016, 08:47:45 PM
Never prayed for one, but wish, prayed and dreamed to be female. Hugs
Mariah
Yep, same here :icon_chick: Even actually believed I might wake the next day a female
Quote from: V M on July 17, 2016, 08:55:51 PM
Yep, same here :icon_chick: Even actually believed I might wake the next day a female
I can't count the number of times I have wished that.
Many, many times over the years, though it was actually wake up as a girl, but yeah. Always ended up depressed for days each time so I eventually stopped, though the depressed feeling never really went away.
Quote from: Geeker on July 28, 2016, 08:48:01 PM
Many, many times over the years, though it was actually wake up as a girl, but yeah. Always ended up depressed for days each time so I eventually stopped, though the depressed feeling never really went away.
Same for me. I know what that is like; visualizing waking up as a girl and then the reality of it not happening.
Prayed, fantasized, cast magic spells....Everything but doing the only real way to do it, until now.
Still praying for wisdom and guidance. My wife surprised me with a new garment today and was upbeat about the transition. She is also helping with getting my nutrition in order to help get a better figure. Looks like some of my prayers got answered today.
Deanna
I can't say that I have actually prayed. Howeve I don't think there is a day goes by that I don't wish I was a woman.
In general I believe most have dreams, fantasised or prayed for this. I never prayed, only fantasised or block the thought from my brain until one day I simply said it was time to move forwarded and never looked back.
Not totally sure. I've been verbally pummelled by a trans* acquaintance when they asked me this question and I froze. They took a "..." for a "no" and proof of my not-transness.
In my dreams I'm always a man, I see and feel myself as a man so I think that waking up biologically man would be like driving on an empty highway versus being stuck in city traffic.
On the other hand I'm not cool with the beard and loosing my voice range, and given that I'm a passive gay I don't find anything too bad in having an extra option. I would do without periods and breasts and a slightly deeper voice tho.
Also I want to know: do I get to wake up taller? More muscular? Because if I wake up with a Y chromosome and a beer belly on my compact frame, I take objection.
Oh yes, MANY times!! I cant tell you how many times I would wish I would go to sleep and wake up female. How many times I would dress, feel totally feminine and wish it could last forever.
Everyday not a day goes by that I don't fantasize on what it would be like to have boobs curves and a vagina
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