Is does it make sense to not want to take E to keep my male sex drive? I mean I've been obsessed with sex since I started puberty. I feel like is if took E I wouldn't have as strong a sex drive. I mean I know I'd have one, but not the one I have where I have to sleep with a guy 2 or 3 times a day .-.
I guess it depends on what you want more... feminisation or sex drive. Also, while estrogen will probably reduce your sex drive it is the anti-androgens that have the greater impact. Do as you want, just don't necessarily expect to get the feminisation results you may want...
I was a transsexual which is a subset of transgender. The transgender family has room for many variations and an example would be cross dresser who only likes to appear feminine from time to time. I don't know enough about you but it sounds like you would be somewhere between cross dresser and transsexual. There is nothing wrong with that as long as you are comfortable there. Depending on the body modifications you desire, taking estrogen at a lower dose but not using the blockers would alter your body without altering your sexual drive but that would be for you to decide.
-your o's are supposed to become more feminine. Meaning it may take longer to achieve, but they may last longer, may be more drawn out and more spread over the whole body. Also the whole skin is supposed to be more sensitive.
-There is one form of hrt which works without anti androgens. With injections the levels of estrogen are kept well in the female range, which by itself drives down testosterone. This is considered safe only with internal application.
This way estro remains well in the femal range which may help with a female libido with some people.
With normal hrt a fine tuning is possible.
Many endos strive for values of e above 180-200 pg/ml and t below 60 ng/dl for feminization.
If t is too low an adaption with the amount of anti androgen might be possible.
Its possible people go through a reduced libido in the first weeks or months ...
Just talk it all through with your doc/endo.
hugs
All depends on what you want.
Your life is yours to live as you wish and not to think you have to restrain yourself to fit one label or another.
If you are true to yourself and happy then good for you.
I was once very afraid of losing mine. Then i lost it and not only was it no longer missed, but i was so glad to be free of it. It was like a controlling beast in me, it demanded my time, hurt my decision making and actually detracted from my ability to truly love my spouse.
So away it went and then it started to come back in much more gentle, feminine way. Now my sexuality is an extension of my intimate mind, it does not lead my mind, my mind leads it.
All very helpful, will take in consideration :)
Why does this sound familiar....
Everyone's different. Some go into complete shut down, others experience a change from the male sex drive to the female drive. It really depends on what you want. Honestly I prefer my current drive and not being led around by this thing that kept telling me "You need this or you're not a man". I'm not. That's not what I want. Wasn't sure at first, but now I'm certain.
However that was what was right for me. This is a thing you need to work through cause ultimately only you know what's right for you. No one should judge you for what you ultimately decide. I know I won't.
My sex drive went down for a while, morning wood is mostly a thing of the past, and as I mention in another thread (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,208527.0.html), erections have gotten painful.
However, my sex drive is coming back. I started out on a low dose, and think I was bottoming out on both E and T. I recently increased my E dose and then my spiro dose, and I'm feeling horny a few times a week. The painful erections are probably due to disuse, so if you continue to stay sexually active then you probably won't encounter that.
Not having libido is a funny thing. The thing's that missing is the drive to have sex, and not the ability to have sex. So, for example, I rationally want to have sex with my wife because it's good for our relationship -- that's a great reason to have sex (the best, really), and we do. It used to be that when my body started battering at my zipper with hourly erections, I'd drop trou and start battering at my wife's zipper. Umm, that was metaphorical. Mostly.
But anyway, it used to be that I'd pursue sex because of a physical urge... and now, I pursue sex because it's something that I rationally and emotionally desire. I like me better that way. And I save like an hour on masturbation, every day. But apparently I should put in some of that time, just to keep the ol' girl standing tall.
Yes, my penis is a girl. "The boys" live on my chest. Deal with it.
Quote from: sparrow on April 28, 2016, 10:25:27 PM
But anyway, it used to be that I'd pursue sex because of a physical urge... and now, I pursue sex because it's something that I rationally and emotionally desire. I like me better that way. And I save like an hour on masturbation, every day. But apparently I should put in some of that time, just to keep the ol' girl standing tall.
Yes, my penis is a girl. "The boys" live on my chest. Deal with it.
This is a great way to articulate the positive change. Now sexuality is fully my choice and for the right reasons. It is not a biological urge that must be satisfied.
Quote from: RobynD on April 29, 2016, 10:41:24 AM
This is a great way to articulate the positive change. Now sexuality is fully my choice and for the right reasons. It is not a biological urge that must be satisfied.
So very true for me too! I greatly appreciate the candor you all are sharing. I remain very happy not to be lead around by that T induced drive. I love intimacy and celebrate without the pressure of what Vanessa describes as an "obsession" and the sense I "have to."
Identity, sexuality, arousal and the ability to remain orgasmic are considerations for many of us in transition. Once again, it really is OK to tailor our transition to our individual needs.
I fully support your need to limit transition, do it socially, without HRT and have a ball. Looks like it works for you. :)
In short, no it is perfectly normal to weigh options! It's not as black and white as you may be thinking. A lower overall does or maybe taking estrogen without an anti-androgen, are all things you can consult with your medical professional about. I've read that you can sort of 'try it' with minimal long term effects, but again you should talk to your medical professional.
I will tell you that I have been happy to lose some sex drive on a medium dose of AA and E. It is less of a distraction/more special to me now, and to echo someone above, it improved my overall relationship with my wife :) It's pretty awesome. And I have noticed a hugely positive difference in the 'O'. It takes a little more coaxing but... dayum.
Hope you find some answers - and I definitely think you should discuss this with your therapist/counselor/whateveryouwannacallthem as well as your doctor. It can really help bring clarity.
J
I can totally relate to this. Even if my wife would be ok with HRT (she wouldn't) I think about the loss or decrease in drive or function. I would love all the other effects, but this effect to me would be difficult for me to deal with. It is a reason I never strongly consider HRT.