So I decided to finally go to the corner gas station store down the street from my house for some booze right before dialysis, just to ease my nerves. Alcohol is a lot more accessible, so that's my choice of "drugs," when I want to escape reality and ease my crazy ass social anxiety.
So something happened that I never expected at the gas station. I ran into the manager and she actually refused to give me my beer/liquor in exchange for my money even after displaying my I.D. card to prove my age. I must have made quite an amazing transition, even without a drop of Testosterone in me. That kinda made me feel good but at the same time I started walkin' away thinkin', "I don't give up easy."
That's what I told my social worker one time about getting on hormones. I walked right back in there and showed the manager my recent bus card which had a picture of me and my deadname. She couldn't help but make the connection and finally relinquished the beer unto me.
Yeah, I don't give up easy. I really need to ask my therapist for a carry letter and while I have that, I need to update my picture. This is kinda confirming but at the same time, it's a problem. Anyone else ever had this issue, especially as in the pre-transition stage? The manager seemed so impressed with how I looked, that it made me feel like a real king in the end!
Mod Edit- Illegal drug talk is against TOS 5
A King with beer as well, can life get better?
That is one of those situations where you are jazzed because you are seeing a lot of change, but mayb1e a little annoyed with the hassle of having to explain. At any rate, good for you, glad to hear things are working out well
Letter from a therapist might not be too bad. Liquor store is no biggy, but I wouldn't want to have that happen after waiting 40 minutes at the DMV :P
Quote from: kelseygal on May 05, 2016, 10:56:11 AM
That is one of those situations where you are jazzed because you are seeing a lot of change, but mayb1e a little annoyed with the hassle of having to explain. At any rate, good for you, glad to hear things are working out well
Letter from a therapist might not be too bad. Liquor store is no biggy, but I wouldn't want to have that happen after waiting 40 minutes at the DMV :P
Yes! Exactly. It really sucks to have to explain every single time; "Well, I'm going thru alot of changes. I'm just being who I am..." I shouldn't have to explain. I should just be able to get what I I have money for with no hassle whatsoever. This deadnamin, misgenderin is literally driving me nuts. And I swear to god I hope that getting my license updated at the DMV won't be an issue. For Pete's sake, I don't need that.....Nobody does. In fact, I'm gonna text my therapist right now for the carry letter. He was supposed to generate it last month before he went on vacation. But, hell, we both forgot about it. Now I see why it's a really good idea!
Quote from: meganjames2 on May 05, 2016, 10:35:05 AM
A King with beer as well, can life get better?
I hope it can, Megan. I really hope it can....
On the one hand glad that another person saw you for the man you are :). On the other hand yeah; the awkwardness of I'D is awful. I don't buy alcohol as a habit but decided to once pre T because I was depressed. Which ended in me standing hoping he didnt 'mistake' me as a guy before handing over my ID and standing there awkwardly as he commented how young I looked ::). Then another time when I think I was coming up to 2 months on T. So I worried if my I'D would still be accepted. It was but I went to the same shop and the same guy from before was there and recognised me :P. I think I may wait until I'm 7 months on T to change my I'D.
Anyway, it sucks that you the DMV makes it so hard for you to get a new license. Heres hoping the therapist gives you the carry letter :)
Quote from: Elis on May 05, 2016, 11:13:16 AM
On the one hand glad that another person saw you for the man you are :). On the other hand yeah; the awkwardness of I'D is awful. I don't buy alcohol as a habit but decided to once pre T. Which ended is me standing there awkwardly as he commented how young I look ::). Then another time when I think I was coming up to 2 months on T. So I worried if my I'D would still be accepted. It was but I went to the same shop and the same guy from before was there and recognised me :P. I think I may wait until I'm 7 months on T to change my I'D.
Anyway, it sucks that you the DMV makes it so hard for you to get a new license. Hears hoping the therapist gives you the carry letter :)
S'up Elis?
Yeah, this whole I.D.drama makes me kinda not want to get beer as much. It's not really a habit. More or so like a hobby. I like and appreciate beer when its drunken responsibly. But yes, it was to help me deal with being around people today. I'm usually trapped in the house all damn day and not at all accustomed to socializing. Yeah, when I lost all this weight, I look even younger than I did when I forcefully dressed as female and really hated every fiber of my being.
I had the manager giggling because I really look like another person. She asked me to smile because I think she wanted to compare that to my I.D., in which I am making a big fake smile, lookin' like Shrek with lipstick. Then she apologized and was like, "I am sorry but I can't let you have this. It's hard to believe that's really you in the I.D." Thank god for my bus card. That is what saved the day, as well as my persistence. :)
Yes we can have pretty drastic changes in everything even without HRT or the likes.
I know on my instance a few time where I almost was unable to get a beer at a local burger place, or when the time I almost was unable to purchase vape juice.
Like at the burger place, at the time i just wanted to just get a beer with my meal, and when prompted to show my ID I did so, then at first I was refused then they got the manager to look at the ID and after a bit of time they were able to give me the okay. The last time I went to the place, I warned the bartender that my ID is very old and well there are other differences that I do not look the same, but when I introduced my military ID in the slightest they just figured and not quite need to be as thorough with that.
With the vape shop, the guy who was checking my ID, told me that I need to update my picture but otherwise his words was that my eyes gave my the clear.
I'm glad you are still around and hopefully doing well Phoenix. Well to make an idea of your prospect of King is that you need a goblet now, in which to drink your elixir from.
Kate <3
Quote from: King Phoenix on May 05, 2016, 10:17:06 AM
So I decided to finally go to the corner gas station store down the street from my house for some booze right before dialysis, just to ease my nerves. I would get high off of some weed or coke if they weren't so damn illegal. Alcohol is a lot more accessible, so that's my choice of "drugs," when I want to escape reality and ease my crazy ass social anxiety.
So something happened that I never expected at the gas station. I ran into the manager and she actually refused to give me my beer/liquor in exchange for my money even after displaying my I.D. card to prove my age. I must have made quite an amazing transition, even without a drop of Testosterone in me. That kinda made me feel good but at the same time I started walkin' away thinkin', "I don't give up easy."
That's what I told my social worker one time about getting on hormones. I walked right back in there and showed the manager my recent bus card which had a picture of me and my deadname. She couldn't help but make the connection and finally relinquished the beer unto me.
Yeah, I don't give up easy. I really need to ask my therapist for a carry letter and while I have that, I need to update my picture. This is kinda confirming but at the same time, it's a problem. Anyone else ever had this issue, especially as in the pre-transition stage? The manager seemed so impressed with how I looked, that it made me feel like a real king in the end!
I really happy for you Phoenix! Since I've followed a lot of what you've been through, your post put a smile on my face. :)
Thanks Katie. Thanks Autumn....
Mod Edit:Edit illegal drugs
Refused a beer because of what? I don't get it. Picture being different from what you look like now?
It's late here so I might just be confused lol sorry
What happened to me is that when I used to smoke and went to buy cigarettes some people asked about my age cause sometimes people think I'm a teen guy. But I'm 23! But I'm not on hrt yet so I guess that's why. I just look younger :embarrassed: :(
Quote from: jossam on May 05, 2016, 09:06:22 PM
Refused a beer because of what? I don't get it. Picture being different from what you look like now?
It's late here so I might just be confused lol sorry
What happened to me is that when I used to smoke and went to buy cigarettes some people asked about my age cause sometimes people think I'm a teen guy. But I'm 23! But I'm not on hrt yet so I guess that's why. I just look younger :embarrassed: :(
Well, the topic was about exactly what I said in my title and first post. I was refused some beer at the gas station because the way I look right now does not match the picture in my I.D. My I.D. was taken two years ago when I was living more like a woman than a man.
The manager at the gas station seemed so fascinated, interested and impressed with my transformation that she constantly asked, how I did it, with her hand to her chest as if it was the most amazing thing. Honestly, her reaction made me feel good but the issue here was that she was not going to sell me the beer at first because she just couldn't trust that the I.D. was really representing me, until I showed her a bus card that had a picture of me taken very recently.
Does that help explain things any better?
Sorry if my previous posts seemed so vague. I was in a rush. I had to get ready for dialysis and I was very drunk, lol!
I really need to change my name legally because people look at me strange when I show my ID. They give me a puzzled look and ask if that's my name.
Quote from: stephaniec on May 06, 2016, 10:58:50 AM
I really need to change my name legally because people look at me strange when I show my ID. They give me a puzzled look and ask if that's my name.
Yeah, Stephanie, you get how I feel......What about your picture? Is it updated? My name and picture still represent me as female so I always get alot of 'WTF' from it.
I have a state ID . just got it updated with the picture , but not the name.
Quote from: stephaniec on May 06, 2016, 11:38:46 AM
I have a state ID . just got it updated with the picture , but not the name.
If I may ask, how come you haven't updated your name yet for your I.D.? I haven't because of money, basically.
Quote from: King Phoenix on May 06, 2016, 11:45:49 AM
If I may ask, how come you haven't updated your name yet for your I.D.? I haven't because of money, basically.
money and procrastination
Quote from: stephaniec on May 06, 2016, 11:47:31 AM
money and procrastination
Yeah, I feel ya Stephanie. In Florida, it's like freakin' $400 just to change my name! Bad enough I won't be able to change my gender marker anytime soon.
I'm on welfare , so it's hard to do anything that pertains to forking over money.
Quote from: stephaniec on May 06, 2016, 12:16:17 PM
I'm on welfare , so it's hard to do anything that pertains to forking over money.
I'm not on welfare, but I am on SSI and SSD (off of my mom's). My Ndad has full control over my money and only gives me a $50.00 allowance once a month. I am unemployed but am trying to get through online school. I am hoping so hard that I can get a job and pay off my loans. It's just all this waiting for my transition to really begin is starting to get to me and its making school very difficult to focus on.
totally understandable
Ohhh ok I get it now haha sorry.
All of this name changing and legal stuff scare me. Well I can only do that when I start transition (don't know when, I just can't right now). It scares me cause it might take too long and who knows what else. But it's necessary. I already get weird looks after I show my I.D now that I am pre everything (I pass well as a young guy). I cant even imagine the funny looks I will get when I start hrt ;D
For anyone who is low-income and needs a name change: Look into fee waivers in your area.
In California, my buddy was making very little money and met a certain income cut-off so that his court/legal fees were free. He had to pay for advertising (I don't think CA requires that anymore). If you are on financial aid or public assistance of any kind, you should be able to get a fee waiver if your jurisdiction has one.
You might have a hard time getting information about it, though. I was trying to help out someone on financial aid and thought, "I'll just look up the fee waiver and send her the link." Boy, my city's court system goes out of its way to bury that information so that it's practically impossible to find.
I still get checked and I'm 27.
On the topic of ID's and beer.
Seeing as I work in retail, and dealing with high volumes of people buying beer, liquor, and tobacco products. I was trained in which if someone does not present an official document, I must refuse their transaction. Also as well I need to card anyone and everyone, no matter what age they are. Even if say they are 100 years old, they must produce the ID.
But in the grand scheme of everything else involved. I have had many transgender individuals presenting themselves in a way that their pictures do not match at all, and then the proper way that it is supposed to be handled is to ask them questions asking simple tasks about either their full name, or address, or about anything that is on the ID. But since I know the deal with that, I just see everybody as they are and don't really question or invalidate them, but rather just let the purchase pass.
Anyways, that was my little bit on the matter of IDs and beer.
Kate <3
All I can really say you are soooooo lucky.
OK pita about the beer initially but must have been awesome having a stranger look at her and say "Nope sorry but you are definitely not her".
But hey that plus getting the beer defo feel like a king.
Quote from: Arch on May 07, 2016, 09:15:21 PM
For anyone who is low-income and needs a name change: Look into fee waivers in your area.
In California, my buddy was making very little money and met a certain income cut-off so that his court/legal fees were free. He had to pay for advertising (I don't think CA requires that anymore). If you are on financial aid or public assistance of any kind, you should be able to get a fee waiver if your jurisdiction has one.
You might have a hard time getting information about it, though. I was trying to help out someone on financial aid and thought, "I'll just look up the fee waiver and send her the link." Boy, my city's court system goes out of its way to bury that information so that it's practically impossible to find.
Hey Arch.
You brought up an awesome idea. I never thought to really look into that. I am on public assistance (SSI or Social Supplemental Income and SSD or Social Security Disability). Do those count at all? I hope so. I'm gonna look into this, seriously.
And why would they want to make this information hard to discover? That's really selfish of them. Probably for the money, I bet. Because at this point in my life, there is no way I will ever get a name change if I have to spend $400 just to do that.