Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Female to male transsexual talk (FTM) => Topic started by: lil_red on May 07, 2016, 04:32:59 PM

Title: Will I out myself if I start binding?
Post by: lil_red on May 07, 2016, 04:32:59 PM
So I'm really wanting to start binding but I'm worried that i will out myself if I do.  Right now people just assume butch I guess.  If I start binding will people make the connection? I'm only out to my husband right now and don't intend to come all the way out until I make up my mind if I'm going to transition or not.

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Title: Re: Will I out myself if I start binding?
Post by: Dena on May 07, 2016, 05:00:48 PM
You shouldn't bind for longer than about 8 hours which may or may not work with your job. Wearing a lose shirt may cover the fact that you are binding and people tend not to be that observant. Another possibility is something like  this  (http://www.underworks.com/women/extreme-magicotton-sports-and-binding-bra) which would allow longer wear time and still give you much of what you are after.
Title: Re: Will I out myself if I start binding?
Post by: Peep on May 07, 2016, 05:10:11 PM
no one noticed when i started - or if they noticed they didn't ask - and i wasn't exactly small beforehand. If you're really worried, you could go gradual - start with minimizing bras and sports bras before going for a completely flat bound chest over a few months. You might be able to play it off as weight loss.

It really depends on how nosy people around you are i suppose, and how noticeable your chest already is. If it's quite large, and you can't bind every time you're out, people might notice that it's flat one day and not the other. If you can make it always the same size it'll be less noticeable.



Title: Re: Will I out myself if I start binding?
Post by: Laura_7 on May 07, 2016, 05:12:39 PM

You could additionally layer clothing, and use tops in darker colours...
darker colours tend to hide surface.


hugs
Title: Re: Will I out myself if I start binding?
Post by: CrazyCatMan on May 07, 2016, 05:21:23 PM
I don't think any one would put the two together. no one even seemed to notice when I started binding and if the they did they still thought I was a lesbian.
Title: Re: Will I out myself if I start binding?
Post by: lil_red on May 07, 2016, 05:26:03 PM
Thank you all. Luckily I do have a fairly small chest already, but sports bras don't quite hide it.

Thank you Dena, because my job typically is 10-12 hour days I will try to find one that is safe for long term use.

I will go slow and ease into so hopefully people won't notice.

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Title: Re: Will I out myself if I start binding?
Post by: Ms Grace on May 07, 2016, 05:27:28 PM
The majority of people wouldn't even know about binding or what it "looks like", let alone that it is often used by trans men. I doubt people will make the connection.
Title: Re: Will I out myself if I start binding?
Post by: Daydreamer on May 07, 2016, 07:55:22 PM
I started binding almost full time when I was 16, and nobody noticed. I'm pretty sure nobody would notice, or be staring at your chest looking for anything "different".
Title: Re: Will I out myself if I start binding?
Post by: FTMax on May 07, 2016, 08:59:38 PM
It probably depends how large your chest is normally. People will notice if you're going from a large cup size to basically nothing overnight, but they won't know why and probably won't say anything.

Also, in reference to a previous note, there are no binders that are "safe" to wear for over 8 hours. They all compress the chest, ribs, and everything else in that region in the same way no matter what style, fabric choices, use of velcro/straps/clips, etc. You can certainly wear them for longer, but you risk bruising or cracking a rib, inflammation, pleurisy.

My suggestion would be to ease into it outside of work first. Then you'll be better able to figure out what it does for you mentally, what it does to you physically, and if the benefits outweigh the risks.
Title: Re: Will I out myself if I start binding?
Post by: lil_red on May 07, 2016, 09:43:16 PM
Quote from: FTMax on May 07, 2016, 08:59:38 PM
It probably depends how large your chest is normally. People will notice if you're going from a large cup size to basically nothing overnight, but they won't know why and probably won't say anything.

Also, in reference to a previous note, there are no binders that are "safe" to wear for over 8 hours. They all compress the chest, ribs, and everything else in that region in the same way no matter what style, fabric choices, use of velcro/straps/clips, etc. You can certainly wear them for longer, but you risk bruising or cracking a rib, inflammation, pleurisy.

My suggestion would be to ease into it outside of work first. Then you'll be better able to figure out what it does for you mentally, what it does to you physically, and if the benefits outweigh the risks.
Thank you.  I will definitely  take this into consideration.

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Title: Re: Will I out myself if I start binding?
Post by: Lorlor on May 10, 2016, 12:35:03 PM
I'm gonna say it depends on who you're around. I had a 32 E chest and no one really said anything when I started binding. Im now almost a year on T and passing full time, though so not out to all of my family. I recently attended a family member's wedding wearing a binder and a men's suit. No one said anything. I had one aunt think I was a different person (make cousin, it was delightful), but she immediately apologized.
Unless the people you're around are super trans say I doubt they'll notice. Until you grow a beard or something of course.
Title: Re: Will I out myself if I start binding?
Post by: Remiie on May 10, 2016, 01:21:42 PM
I used to bind before I came out - If anyone asked id just say I was wearing a sports bra that day
Title: Re: Will I out myself if I start binding?
Post by: Kanzaki on May 15, 2016, 07:41:47 AM
I'm pretty sure people do notice if they see you often or know you well, but that doesn't mean they will say something. When I started, nobody said a thing. A while later I ran into an old classmate whom I hadn't seen in over a year, and she immediately noticed it and made a comment about it. She's the kind of person to make comments about anything, so obviously there was no holding back from her side. It kind of surprised me though, since it's not like I was huge before.

I doubt it would out you if you started binding since most people don't even seem to know what trans is. They might assume you're lesbian or something though.