To those who have gone through therapy for any period of time, do you feel there's an inclination of the therapist to encourage transition to those who have identified any hint of transgender feelings? Or would they be inclined to recommend not transitioning if they identify indicators that the person isn't truly transgender or shouldn't transition? Or is the bias towards maintaining status quo?
The three that I went to were pretty neutral, if they were supportive at all, they were no matter which way I was leaning. I explored all options with them, from doing nothing all the way to all available surgeries.
Any path you take is ok, as long as you are honest with yourself and your therapist.
I started with a generalist 7 years ago and for the past 3 years have been seeing a for real gender therapist. In both cases neither pushed me at all towards a full transition. We, of course, explored all the pro's and con's whose weighting factors vary a lot depending on other life events.
Full disclosure, I don't really want to fully transition. I see it as putting too many of other very important aspects of my life at risk. I'm lucky in that there is not an overwhelming need to transition.... most days. In a more perfect world I would in a flash. If the need to became overwhelming I would. But for now I can manage my GD in other ways
I think there are some gender therapists who are biased towards transitioning, but since GID can only really be diagnosed by the person (we know what the truth is), you can tell if you are being told the truth, or if you are being told what you want to hear.
I have had 2 therapists. Each perfect for my needs at the time. Both are/were neutral on what I wanted to do. They asked some questions and helped me go in the direction I wanted to go.
All therapists ought to be as neutral as possible and make sure ultimately it is your choice to move forward or not, but the truth is all therapists are human and have their own biases both for (it would be easy to develop such a bias if previous patients were happy with results and let The therapist know) or against (which is especially an easy bias to develop if the notion of chcabing gender makes the therapist uncomfortable).
In the end only you can decide what is right for you.
I have been seeing my therapist for about two years now. She specializes in gender issues and family counseling, which is perfect for me as I am separated from my wife and trying to maintain a connection with my children. She has never had any kind of agenda. She just listens and tries to offer support or resources. She also never acted as a gatekeeper. When I decide I was ready to start HRT, she supported that decision, offered me a list of local trans-friendly endocrinologists and wrote a referral letter. She has been nothing but helpful.
~Terri
Thanks everyone for the responses. I've only been to my therapist once, but it was certainly a great experience. I just wish that she'd be able to "diagnose" me and just straight up tell me, yes, you need to seriously consider transition, or no, you will likely regret transition and need to find ways of coping with what you're feeling.
I assume they don't operate like this...?
They don't operate that way. You have to make them understand what you feel and to do that you need to decide what you want and ask for it. If a doctor ever pushes something on you, you should consider another doctor.
I didn't see a bias in either direction from either therapist I had. They were focused on helping me and not on any agenda based on bias. They let me chart my own course and where that took me. Hugs
Mariah
My therapist has been supportive of transition, but downright encouraging about alternatives to transition. Any time I expressed doubts about transition, they persistently asked me questions about the doubt. I've come away from that experience with the confidence that if I wasn't transgender, they'd have guided me around to deciding not to transition. But... every time we explored that, my anxiety level went through the roof -- how would I even live? I made up my own mind, and I'm more sure of myself as a result of the process.
Quote from: Mariah on May 14, 2016, 05:20:41 PM
I didn't see a bias in either direction from either therapist I had. They were focused on helping me and not on any agenda based on bias. They let me chart my own course and where that took me. Hugs
Mariah
I suppose it isn't necessarily an "agenda" I'm asking about, where therapists try to transition anyone that walks through the door, but instead maybe an inclination to push someone in a particular direction based on conversations during therapy sessions. I mean, gender therapists have probably seen tens or hundreds of folks, and I'm positive patterns and commonalities exist...can't a gender therapist make an educated assessment based on an individual's thoughts, feelings, and even responses to questions or scenarios? And wouldn't you welcome an educated (and professional) assessment of your situation?
I've had two therapists and a psych who took a therapy approach. None of them pushed me anywhere. One therapist perhaps did suggest I needed to do something, but that was true enough, I was in a bad way doing nothing.
Mainly it's just me talking and them being fairly neutral. I did occasionally ask them what they think of me and how I compare to others. I can't recall the answer now so I guess it wasn't important.
Quote from: KelliHu on May 14, 2016, 05:04:42 PM
Thanks everyone for the responses. I've only been to my therapist once, but it was certainly a great experience. I just wish that she'd be able to "diagnose" me and just straight up tell me, yes, you need to seriously consider transition, or no, you will likely regret transition and need to find ways of coping with what you're feeling.
I assume they don't operate like this...?
I'm no pro at it but first of all only you know what is best for you to do, Today. Life is not static. It is always growing and changing as so it is with you may feel that you need vs want. Like seeing a therapist for the GD ;D
I've always seen the therapists function as someone who will listen to you. "Hear" what it is that you are saying. Ask the right questions to make sure. Ask the questions you just may not have thought to ask yourself, or were too afraid to think about. Plus explore all the other possibilities you may not have really thought about or knew of.
My wife says there are always at least 5 possible solutions to every problem. I'm a you always have to have a Plan B, maybe a C sort of person. In other words a good two, maybe 3.
Having GD is the same. What needs to be done to "Manage" it? Believe me, after two failed transitioning experiments in my early 20's, I can say without a doubt I was ill prepared emotionally to take on the task. This time, after a few years of very hard work if I really needed to, I know I will and that I can make it work for me. But I don't need to, just want to. Many things go into being Me. As much I would love to think of myself as Binary, I am not. If I try to hammer this square peg into a different binary hole.... Well, I sort of have an idea how it worked out in the past :(
I will have my second meeting with my therapist tomorrow and will probably lay it out that I'd genuinely prefer she be more direct and prescriptive...we'll see how it goes...
But from my interactions with my wife and reflecting on my situation, I will likely ask my therapist for ways to cope with these feelings and repress thoughts of transition...
Quote from: KelliHu on May 15, 2016, 02:52:07 PM
I will have my second meeting with my therapist tomorrow and will probably lay it out that I'd genuinely prefer she be more direct and prescriptive...we'll see how it goes...
I think you might be misunderstanding what therapists do. They basically help you understand yourself, then you tell them if you're trans or not.
There are. But more in the states and Scandinavia.
In the UK they certainly never diagnosed me with gender identity syndrome. I told them, albeit with some self denial, that I wanted to be female. I was a woman online for five years prior. Told them that. Told them I was obcessed with living through my own female character. So barely went outside.
They said I had Aspergers and the beginnings of psychosis and assigned me this huge male mentor. With no more followup appointments. I had panic attacks and they gave me 3 CBT sessions a few years after.
They don't like diagnosing gender issues on the NHS. Unless you're crossdressing, or willing to hammer at the door to get yourself heard, my experience is, they'll ignore you. The wait for a gender therapist is like a year. And I live a short bus ride from one of the few clinics in the country.
That aspergers syndrome diagnosis was a controversial one as far as I'm concerned.
Quote from: AnonyMs on May 15, 2016, 02:59:52 PM
I think you might be misunderstanding what therapists do. They basically help you understand yourself, then you tell them if you're trans or not.
There is certainly a lot I don't understand, both about therapy (in general) and about being transgender...
Mine listened to my needs and believed me. I did go into it with a clear idea of how I needed to proceed though. Idk how it would have gone if I didn't know.
I have always wondered about there being a bias towards transition. After all, my therapist has a business of treating trans people. I started seeing her more than 2 years ago after I began to wonder if I might be somewhat trans. She assured me that I was and we talked about my options that ranged from doing nothing to full transition. I saw her numerous times during that first year.
I took a rather long break from seeing her but decided to go back earlier this year. I brought her up to date on everything since my last visit and towards the end of the session she asked me why I came back. Down deep I knew it was time for me to begin HRT and that is what I told her. She wrote the letter and now I'm on HRT.
I still tend to question if I really am trans, but yet the estrogen in my system feels so good and so right. I guess I really am trans.
But back to your question. While gender therapists make a living by treating trans people, they should be professionals like doctors, who also make a living by treating people and not prescribe a course of action or a drug treatment unless they honestly feel it is in your best interest.