In all seriousness I need to know what can be done if all options have been exhausted. I've tried and tried and tried to get even the lowest of the lowest job in my area and all in the end nothing will hire me NOTHING NOT EVEN MCDONALDS. What am I supposed to do now since I'm doomed to being unemployable. What other options are there is this where I hope to find a wealthy person to marry? Do I file for disability even though I have no type of disability that keeps me from working? Or do I simply kill myself? At this point do do I really do?
To make things worse and as to why I'm suddenly making this post is my parents have confronted me about things such as college, grades, and the incident last year when I tried coming out. Now I have until Friday to get out I'm about to be homeless and nowhere to go I can't drive and none of my friends are in position to help me. At this point I'm afraid I'm SOL :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(
Military disability pay covers me, with the exception of last month and this month where they have screwed up. I'm one of the lucky ones, though, even if I am struggling a bit. I can understand the trouble other people are having because I am also completely unable to get a job even with the past experience I have in many different areas. I've had one job since leaving the military 5 years ago, which fired me because of my disability. After coming out and pursuing transitioning, absolutely no business will hire me in the first place. The usual excuse is that they hired someone with more experience instead of me, which they still say even when I am extremely experienced in the job. I know they are lying, but I can't prove it. They win and they know it.
I'm sorry I can't help you, but I can sympathize with you. :(
I've been waiting on disability for over two years. I'm bipolar and I also have an eating disorder, but SSA takes forever to do anything, so I've been treading water for a long time.
I haven't been able to do anything in terms of work in the last few weeks, because I relapsed and I'm restricting my food intake a lot. I can't focus on work or much of anything else.
But when I am able to work, I do jobs on Mechanical Turk (mturk.com). I do mainly transcription work where you watch videos and type in what's being said. But there are all different sorts of jobs on there, called micro tasks. In my transcription thing, I'll watch and type out a transcript for a clip that's 30 seconds or so long. I'll get paid $0.15 (15 cents) or so, give or take depending on the length of the clip and the difficulty. If you're a fast typist, it's not a bad way to get some amount of extra money.
Like I said, there are different sorts of things you can do on there. I haven't tried this one, but there is a site called Prolific Academic, where you can get paid to take assessments or surveys for people who are students or academic professionals trying to do studies on one thing or another. It's supposed to be legit.
And then one thing I've used before but not v often has been Fiverr and Upwork. You put in your skills and post about what kind of work you can do and also look for jobs that match up with your skills. If someone is looking for someone with your skills, they'll do a search on the website and if they're interested in hiring you, they'll invite you to apply for their job. That's Upwork.
Fiverr is a bit different. Jobs start out at $5, but you can add on "extras" and potentially make much more than that depending on if someone hires you and what their particular needs are. Basically, for this and Upwork, you're an independent contractor and you negotiate the terms of the work you'll be doing before you agree formally.
That's what I know. Hope it helps!
I'm sorry you are going through that. I haven't been in the same position, but can sorta try and help when I can get the chance.
If there may be a friend that may be able to help with shelter at least until you can get stable in looking for a job, that may help wonders.
If you are having a really hard time getting a job, is ot how you present yourself in interviews, for the specific position.
If that may be a case in point in being underqualified or even overqualified, there are definitely some ways that you can improve it.
If you find yourself overqualified for a position, you can in interview construct yourself in a way that will be not on par to the position but to I guess you could say "sell yourself short" by pointing things out that would excel you in the position but not going all out. If you find yourself underqualified, if there are points in the field you are trying to get into and I wouldn't say to lie, but extend the truth a little bit in things that pertain to the position, ie, if its say a retail job, say that you are a fast learner, always trying to figure new and inventive ways of making certain tasks easier.
If its a restaurant or fast food place, it would be a lot easier to net the job if you have a food handlers license, which is around maybe $20 to $45 which all you need to do is go through some online course and take a test in which that course lets you in on. Once you have that, its three years that you will have the license, and just need to take the test again to renew it.
It may be possible if you may find odd jobs around your town, mowing lawns, doing gardening work around, house cleaning etc... Or if you are still in school you may be able to look into federal work study, in which you would have a part time job in any area of your school that you would be able to work while between classes or even on days off.
There are many ways you could look into things to try and pick yourself up.
I know I did have a bit of trouble while I lived out in Augusta Georgia. I was in the army reserves at the time, part time job with target, no car, and couldn't live out there for too long before I had to get myself and my ex out of that. During that time, while I had my army duties, I was carpooling to and from base, walking to work at 2am, during which I was walking 2 miles each way, when I had to move, I was walking 4 miles each way, and when I had to move yet again going 6 miles each way. Sometimes in the pouring rain, and there were no street lights on the path to work. Had to cross train tracks, walking in unsafe areas and such. A few times while I was walking to work I was pulled over by a police officer, in which took some of my time that I needed to get me there on time, in which after the whole checking if I was drunk, or had whatever, they then had me hop in the vehicle and they took me the rest of the way, only for me to sit and wait in the cold for an hour before the place had the doors opened for us early morning crew.
While I was out in Georgia, I had a small apartment, then when my funds went low, was evicted, then found another place in which was a lot cheaper, and I was able to maintain for a little while before I was evicted yet again. Then moved in a hotel which I was paying week to week. At that point my military position wasn't able to give me my two weeks of work a month because I had maxed out on my days for the year, and during that time, since it was affecting the time I was at my other job, they started reducing my hours. And they kept me short handed. I eventually moved into a room mate situation with the hotel manager due to my ex getting good with her, in which she was able to get a job at the hotel for a little while, and we were able to have a room in a house rather than the hotel, because it was more or so the busy season at the time, until our friend had to essentially kick us out due to her mother moving into town, so then we had to go back to the hotel. During this time was when everything just couldn't work out.
I am truly lucky my mother works for united airlines, and is able to get me flights on the cheap. At first since I was working for target, I went to HR, and let them know of my situation that I was evicted twice, moving from place to place living in hotels just to get by, barely scraping by just to have rent in before being kicked out, with as much pay as I was getting working there. I must have stuck a nerve with them because they were truly sympathetic. Within three days while working, I was called into the HR office, and they told me because I was in very much hardships struck in poverty, as a means to help out in the very least, of having food to he's up in a microwave, they had put together a take home bag of groceries for me, as well as a check for$600.
At this time it was a little too late in which I was getting kicked out of the hotel. So I call up my mom, and say that we needed to get out of Georgia. So packing up what we could otherwise most of my military gear along with a half an apartment worth of furniture and just things that weren't able to be put away. We found a way to get to the airport. With a cat and dog in carriers, we were of course flying standby, so the flights were not guaranteed unless there were two seats available. And so the waiting game had started. About three days later of sleepless nights and moving back and forth between flight gates during the day, we finally got on board, to Southern California. In which was toward my ex's family who was more than welcoming us in.
Needless to say Georgia was one big adventure for me, and as well as my ex.
I can understand where you are coming from. But the option you have right now is to endure this part of your life until you can find a way to get a little something figured out for the time being. There is only a way up from here.especially if your other option is to just end everything, which is never a good thing, it will only stop your own path, your own journey and life, not to mention it will only hurt your friends and family, even if they aren't the most understanding of people, it will always affect them. It will also affect others here in our own family here on Susan's. So please please reach out to anyone here or even if you need to talk to anyone, there are anonymous hotlines you could call, or even try and reach out to your family or extended family. I'm sure someone out there might be able to help you in one way or another.
I hope your journey will not end in a bad way, I hope you can reach out to someone, and get some help with what you need, in what you can do to help yourself and to persist. I would love if you stuck around these parts, and would love to read more on your journey, even if it is on the more painful side. If anything, (talking for myself and others that also look out for others here) we will listen, and even those who do not respond, they may not know what to say, or just may not be their expertise. But in all, we are all a fun bunch, and will help you through anything even if it may be to give you a hug, or a kick in the rear.we are here for support for ourselves and for others, such as yourself.
Kate <3
Please don't kill yourself. I myself am barely employed and still not really able to totally support myself because I have a lot of trouble finding work where I live. So I can relate. thankfully I live with my gran so I'm doing ok. I would keep trying to relate to your parents the position they're putting you in and what you're going through if that's possible. If not, think as hard as you can if you have ANY relatives, friends, etc. that will let you stay even temporarily. There are also women's shelters and homeless shelters.
On this page http://nationalhomeless.org/references/need-help/ there's a list of suggestions specifically for if you are going to be homeless in a few days.
Quote from: EmilyRyan on May 16, 2016, 01:38:58 AM
In all seriousness I need to know what can be done if all options have been exhausted. I've tried and tried and tried to get even the lowest of the lowest job in my area and all in the end nothing will hire me NOTHING NOT EVEN MCDONALDS. What am I supposed to do now since I'm doomed to being unemployable. What other options are there is this where I hope to find a wealthy person to marry? Do I file for disability even though I have no type of disability that keeps me from working? Or do I simply kill myself? At this point do do I really do?
To make things worse and as to why I'm suddenly making this post is my parents have confronted me about things such as college, grades, and the incident last year when I tried coming out. Now I have until Friday to get out I'm about to be homeless and nowhere to go I can't drive and none of my friends are in position to help me. At this point I'm afraid I'm SOL :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(
I agree with Draculess. And I also empathize with you. I can't find work for nothing. But I have SSI and SSD that kinda helps get me by. I think you should file for disability if you cannot find work. It's better than nothing. Aren't you going to school? Your parents won't let you finish first? I wish I could be of more help, but I can't even find a job. I never worked a day in my life and now I am 27 years old.
Quote from: Eevee on May 16, 2016, 01:46:15 AM
Military disability pay covers me, with the exception of last month and this month where they have screwed up. I'm one of the lucky ones, though, even if I am struggling a bit. I can understand the trouble other people are having because I am also completely unable to get a job even with the past experience I have in many different areas. I've had one job since leaving the military 5 years ago, which fired me because of my disability. After coming out and pursuing transitioning, absolutely no business will hire me in the first place. The usual excuse is that they hired someone with more experience instead of me, which they still say even when I am extremely experienced in the job. I know they are lying, but I can't prove it. They win and they know it.
I'm sorry I can't help you, but I can sympathize with you. :(
If you're fired because of your disability, that's a lawsuit right there. This is unethical and clearly violates the American with Disabilities Act of 1990.
"The Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) became law in 1990. The ADA is a civil rights law that prohibits discrimination against individuals with disabilities in all areas of public life, including jobs, schools, transportation, and all public and private places that are open to the general public." (National Network, n.d.)
References:
National Network (n.d.). An Overview of The Americans With Disabilities Act. Retrieved from
https://adata.org/factsheet/ADA-overview (https://adata.org/factsheet/ADA-overview)
Got some good news seems my parents suddenly decided to calm down and let me still live at home as long I make an effort to try and get a job (we'll see how long that goes with my current luck :P).
Wanna thank ya for reaching out as best ya can I appreciate it.
Quote from: King Phoenix on May 16, 2016, 05:41:13 AM
I agree with Draculess. And I also empathize with you. I can't find work for nothing. But I have SSI and SSD that kinda helps get me by. I think you should file for disability if you cannot find work. It's better than nothing. Aren't you going to school? Your parents won't let you finish first? I wish I could be of more help, but I can't even find a job. I never worked a day in my life and now I am 27 years old.
Would it even be possible to get disability despite having absolutely nothing that prevents me from being able to work?? And as for school I actually finished my A.S. in General Studies last year these past two semester I just simply went back to try and get a degree in elementary education but I ended up failing two of the three main basic classes for the major and quickly realized I need to do something else.
Quote from: EmilyRyan on May 16, 2016, 04:15:38 PM
Got some good news seems my parents suddenly decided to calm down and let me still live at home as long I make an effort to try and get a job (we'll see how long that goes with my current luck :P).
Wanna thank ya for reaching out as best ya can I appreciate it.
Would it even be possible to get disability despite having absolutely nothing that prevents me from being able to work?? And as for school I actually finished my A.S. in General Studies last year these past two semester I just simply went back to try and get a degree in elementary education but I ended up failing two of the three main basic classes for the major and quickly realized I need to do something else.
I'm glad your parents came around and decided to let you find work first before removing you, their child, from their home. :)
To answer your question, I'm not sure you could file for one then. Do you have any mental disabilities, like depression? Since you never worked, you could definitely apply for SSI, assuming that you have at least one disability. Even things like depression counts. They don't have to be anything very severe. But if it's nothing bad enough to prevent you from working, I'm not so sure you would qualify then. I think as a last resort, you may want to look into it. But I got SSD through my mom. And the reason I was able to get SSI was because of depression and social anxiety as well as agoraphobia (didn't leave the house for a whole year at one point in my life).
I hope everything works out well for you in the end. :)
I had a period where I just couldn't get a job to save my life, I exhausted my snap (able bodied adults without disabilities only get 3 months of snap of they aren't working unless your locality has a waiver) and I turned to some friends of mine from the video game Eve Online and they got me some food from Amazon of all places (who knew you could get peanut butter delivered) and I kept applying for jobs sometimes even to the same places 3-4 times I also decided to stop including my former name and start also going to temp agencies like labor ready and labor finders, the sort that will pay you $50 for a day's work.
Ofc now I have a job after applying four times to that place and things are looking pretty good (have an amazing girlfriend and I am moving to a part of the country where I can afford to live and even save money).
So really just hang in there and keep applying and calling those places till they give you a job basically is my advice. In the meantime try to leverage your charisma wherever applicable to try and get work or food or housing.
If you do qualify for disability expect it to take a minimum of two years before you start getting paid. If you have never worked and paid into the system you probably won't qualify regardless of other issues.
For SSI, as long as you're living at home I doubt you'll qualify as they count free food and shelter as part of your assets.
https://www.ssa.gov/disability/
Sapere Aude
Quote from: King Phoenix on May 16, 2016, 04:27:07 PM
I'm glad your parents came around and decided to let you find work first before removing you, their child, from their home. :)
To answer your question, I'm not sure you could file for one then. Do you have any mental disabilities, like depression? Since you never worked, you could definitely apply for SSI, assuming that you have at least one disability. Even things like depression counts. They don't have to be anything very severe. But if it's nothing bad enough to prevent you from working, I'm not so sure you would qualify then. I think as a last resort, you may want to look into it. But I got SSD through my mom. And the reason I was able to get SSI was because of depression and social anxiety as well as agoraphobia (didn't leave the house for a whole year at one point in my life).
I hope everything works out well for you in the end. :)
Yeah I'm glad they came around to trust me this isn't the first time they done this and probably won't be the last either.
As for having any mental disabilities I don't have any at all. Also I have worked two jobs in the past I worked at Goodwill from 2012-2013 for about six months as a donations attendant before getting fired and just last year after graduating with my two year degree I worked at Walmart and that lasted only two months before being let go for the same reasons.
Quote from: Hikari on May 16, 2016, 04:28:24 PM
I had a period where I just couldn't get a job to save my life, I exhausted my snap (able bodied adults without disabilities only get 3 months of snap of they aren't working unless your locality has a waiver) and I turned to some friends of mine from the video game Eve Online and they got me some food from Amazon of all places (who knew you could get peanut butter delivered) and I kept applying for jobs sometimes even to the same places 3-4 times I also decided to stop including my former name and start also going to temp agencies like labor ready and labor finders, the sort that will pay you $50 for a day's work.
Ofc now I have a job after applying four times to that place and things are looking pretty good (have an amazing girlfriend and I am moving to a part of the country where I can afford to live and even save money).
So really just hang in there and keep applying and calling those places till they give you a job basically is my advice. In the meantime try to leverage your charisma wherever applicable to try and get work or food or housing.
Wish I were that lucky even the temp agencies in my area tell me I'm not qualified for any of the work their offering.
Quote from: Deborah on May 16, 2016, 04:43:55 PM
If you do qualify for disability expect it to take a minimum of two years before you start getting paid. If you have never worked and paid into the system you probably won't qualify regardless of other issues.
For SSI, as long as you're living at home I doubt you'll qualify as they count free food and shelter as part of your assets.
https://www.ssa.gov/disability/
Sapere Aude
All the more reason to move out and possibly move to Seattle hopefully
Quote from: EmilyRyan on May 16, 2016, 05:02:16 PM
All the more reason to move out and possibly move to Seattle hopefully
Yeah, I heard Seattle is so inclusive. I'd like to live there too someday.
Are you in therapy? I'd encourage it. Not necessarily for the mental health aspects, but they may be able to point you towards local resources or tell you if they think you qualify for some kind of disability based on what you're telling them. Seeing a professional would probably help with establishing a need for disability benefits if you honestly can't do anything else.
Quote from: FTMax on May 16, 2016, 05:20:42 PM
Are you in therapy? I'd encourage it. Not necessarily for the mental health aspects, but they may be able to point you towards local resources or tell you if they think you qualify for some kind of disability based on what you're telling them. Seeing a professional would probably help with establishing a need for disability benefits if you honestly can't do anything else.
As long as I'm stuck living with parents therapy is an impossibility. Even if I were I can't help but doubt they could help in my situation I'm just not that lucky. I also doubt I would qualify in anyway for disability.
In 2003 I was laid off and I could not find a job. I filed 3000 resumes for open positions. I couldn't even get a job interview. I started my own business and was making money at it within a year. Fortunately, I had my engineering experience to draw on to design my telescopes. I had to learn a lot of new skills to build them but I picked them up out of necessity.
I realize that you don't have specific experience to do the same thing that I did, but most small businesses are started by people without extensive education or experience. I offer this as a suggestion. It may not be your gig.
Quote from: Deborah on May 16, 2016, 04:43:55 PM
If you do qualify for disability expect it to take a minimum of two years before you start getting paid. If you have never worked and paid into the system you probably won't qualify regardless of other issues.
For SSI, as long as you're living at home I doubt you'll qualify as they count free food and shelter as part of your assets.
https://www.ssa.gov/disability/
Sapere Aude
They count room and board as income and deduct a third of the SSI payment for it every month but by itself it won't prevent anyone from getting benefits. And as long as you get even $1 a month you get Medicaid with it.
And if you can prove your disability began before age 22 (and I gather you're under 22 now) you can file based on your parents' earnings as a disability insurance claim rather than an SSI claim. Those are so much better in so many ways it boggles the mind. More money, Medicare instead of Medicaid, and no deductions as long as you don't earn whatever SGA is that year.
Also, in all frankness the people who get disability from SSA in more like a six month time-frame aren't necessarily worse off than those who wait a couple of years, but more often than not their conditions are more frequently encountered and easier to define. Psych claims in particular take forever because they're a common fraud situation, half the adjudicators don't believe they really exist, and psych records almost never define a problem as clearly as--by way of contrasting records situations--imaging of a myocardial infarction.
Quote from: EmilyRyan on May 16, 2016, 01:38:58 AMDo I file for disability even though I have no type of disability that keeps me from working?
This is a bigger problem with the disability angle. It's what SSA calls a "Step Two Denial" because you apparently don't have what they call a "chronic, severe impairment." Having said that, there are a lot of people who minimize their problem(s) and who actually do have difficulties bad enough for disability but for whatever reason just don't think their limitations are that bad. Whether or not you are one of those people is the real question answering whether or not you should file for disability or explore other options.
Also, the bar is lower in the 9th Circuit than it is in the 5th, for example. You might consider your circuit's history if in doubt.
Quote from: Colleen M on May 16, 2016, 08:59:39 PM
And if you can prove your disability began before age 22 (and I gather you're under 22 now) you can file based on your parents' earnings as a disability insurance claim rather than an SSI claim. Those are so much better in so many ways it boggles the mind. More money, Medicare instead of Medicaid, and no deductions as long as you don't earn whatever SGA is that year.
Also, the bar is lower in the 9th Circuit than it is in the 5th, for example. You might consider your circuit's history if in doubt.
Actually I'm 24 but hey I get that a lot :laugh:
Anyhow say If I were to move to Washington State and were to be homeless there would it then be a bit easier to file for SSI??
Quote from: King Phoenix on May 16, 2016, 05:41:13 AM
If you're fired because of your disability, that's a lawsuit right there. This is unethical and clearly violates the American with Disabilities Act of 1990.
"The Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) became law in 1990. The ADA is a civil rights law that prohibits discrimination against individuals with disabilities in all areas of public life, including jobs, schools, transportation, and all public and private places that are open to the general public." (National Network, n.d.)
References:
National Network (n.d.). An Overview of The Americans With Disabilities Act. Retrieved from
https://adata.org/factsheet/ADA-overview (https://adata.org/factsheet/ADA-overview)
I'm aware of this. The problem is that there is absolutely no way I can prove it. It's the same problem with not being hired because I'm trans. I know and they know what's really going on, but it will be my word against theirs in court with no way to back up my claim. It would help if one of my coworkers from that job gave a damn about me, but they sided with the boss. Now it's four against one and I have nothing but my empty claim.
Are there any alternatives for people who aren't disabled but simply can't get a job??
I never went long without a job since I was 13,then at the age of 38 my Dr took me off work due to a long standing disability I was making worse,it took me 7yrs to collect and I had a lawyer. Then I got my court date and the judge went nuts, instead of another court date they settled with alot of strings attached,we were lucky for social security settled with my wife and she got 5yrs back pay and that helped us alot. A part time 15-20 hr job came looking for me 5yrs ago and been there since and 10 dollars an hr isn't bad either.
Quote from: EmilyRyan on May 17, 2016, 03:46:49 AM
Are there any alternatives for people who aren't disabled but simply can't get a job??
Could you list all the options you've investigated currently?
Some ideas:
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Job Corps: Job Corps exists in every state. It's a federal program by the Department of Labor. As long as you are a citizen, low income, and in need of assistance to find and keep a job, you qualify to apply. Their upper age limit for admission is 24, so if this is of interest to you, you would need to apply ASAP. They provide you with housing, meals, basic medical care, and a small living allowance while training you in a career field and helping you develop independent living skills. It is self paced and you can remain in the program for up to 2 years. Most important for you, they also offer transitional assistance when the program is over, so they would help you find a job, housing, and transportation after you leave the program. I don't know much about the admissions process, but it is easily investigated on your own if you are interested in it.
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The Military: You couldn't serve openly as a trans person just yet, but they are lifting the ban this year. They would feed you, house you, train you, and give you a job. The environment may also help you build yourself up and develop more confidence. I believe most if not all branches enable you to chat with a recruiter online, so I would consider that.
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Higher Education: Pick a school, apply, apply for financial aid, and move. If you want to move to Washington, that is how I would do it, short of finding a job there and moving. Even if it's a community college, you're still eligible for financial aid. You could take out the student loans, move, look for a job and go to school, and figure out what your options are in a new place. It is a lot more appealing to have a fresh start in a place where you may have options than to stay in a place where you have none, even if it does cost you some money later on.
I want to expand on the post above in reference to the Military option. My qualification for this opinion is 20 years as an Army Officer in the Combat Arms.
Everything said about the Military in that post is true. However, unless you can change your whole attitude and outlook on life I don't think it would work for you. The bottom line is you need to stop looking for the easy way to get somebody else to pay you for doing nothing and step up with an aggressive attitude to succeed at any cost. With your current attitude and outlook I don't think you would make it through basic training, much less in a regular unit.
I know, that's harsh, and maybe mean to say but it's the bare truth.
Obviously all we know about you is what is written in this forum. But unless there is substantially more to the story you bring most of your troubles on yourself by not believing in yourself, not working hard enough, giving up at the first hurdle, and looking for others to solve your problems. The fix to all of that is within you, not outside of you.
If you fail at something you want then you identify why you failed, fix the problem yourself, and try again until you succeed.
For better or for worse this is the USA and unless you can demonstrate some internal fortitude to better yourself and move forward no government or charitable organization is going to do it for you.
Sapere Aude
One job that hasn't been mentioned is the trucking industry,there is quite a few transgender driving trucks across America. My son is trans mtf and has been driving for almost 3yrs now and makes good money doing it. When I was a trucker I came across a mtf in California at a truckstop and she was being put down and made fun of til I said something and the fun and games stopped and they looked at her with open eyes and realized how strong she really is by paying for her transition while trucking.She asked me why I defended her, told her I can relate and told her about me,freaked her out that the big burly trucker was also trans,for I don't look it with full facial hair.
Social services, sell things >.>, make three bucks last a whole week, temp. jobs, meet wonderful people in life whom you feel indebted to forever and you most probaby can never repay so you end up feeling guilty and try to be the best person to them as you can.
I was raised poor so I got used to "surviving" haha.
Quote from: Deborah on May 17, 2016, 11:57:37 AM
I want to expand on the post above in reference to the Military option. My qualification for this opinion is 20 years as an Army Officer in the Combat Arms.
Everything said about the Military in that post is true. However, unless you can change your whole attitude and outlook on life I don't think it would work for you. The bottom line is you need to stop looking for the easy way to get somebody else to pay you for doing nothing and step up with an aggressive attitude to succeed at any cost. With your current attitude and outlook I don't think you would make it through basic training, much less in a regular unit.
I know, that's harsh, and maybe mean to say but it's the bare truth.
Obviously all we know about you is what is written in this forum. But unless there is substantially more to the story you bring most of your troubles on yourself by not believing in yourself, not working hard enough, giving up at the first hurdle, and looking for others to solve your problems. The fix to all of that is within you, not outside of you.
If you fail at something you want then you identify why you failed, fix the problem yourself, and try again until you succeed.
For better or for worse this is the USA and unless you can demonstrate some internal fortitude to better yourself and move forward no government or charitable organization is going to do it for you.
Wow ok....
Umm where to begin. For six years counting now I've done nothing but been my own advocate for bettering my self were I could get a decent job and move out of my parent's without worrying if I would starve the next day. After graduating high school back in 2010 I tried a four year college and in 2012 ended up flunking out cause I had difficulty with the courses soo bad even the tutor I were seeing four days a week wasn't helping. And yes I studied by butt off so please don't say it was my study habits.
After that didn't work out I didn't sit around I looked for work like I'm doing now and got lucky to land a job at Goodwill as a Donations attendant. Let me tell you that job was a total nightmare the Goodwill I worked at had a large volume of donors and all would normally have their vehicles packed full of things and most the time I would be the only attendant on duty and it was overwhelming not able to keep up and running behind when it came to putting everything up. The managers for the most part were nice about it only telling me every now then that I need to step it up but were nice enough to not fire me. The corporate head that checks the store once a month did not like my performance and that I was too slow and shouldn't never been hired in the first place and after six months of that job I was suddenly fired. And yes during that job I never showed any signs of being overwhelmed and always kept a smile on my face even when being disciplined for my slowness.
Fast forward a bit after having no luck finding another job it was decided between my parents and I that I try community college and I was on board despite being scared I would fail again. Best decision ever I was able to earn an A.S. Degree last year.
Then during the summer of 2015 I decided to to work another job instead of sitting around all summer long so I applied to Walmart and got a position working in the back unloading trucks not what I wanted to do but hey I was willing to deal with it can't be too hard to do right? I was wrong turned out to be another job that was fast paced. Despite all my efforts to do better at the job I was suddenly let go from the job after two months. I was yet again deemed too slow and incompetent. Seems having a positive attitude and showing up on time isn't enough.
Thankfully I was returning to school to turn my two year degree into a four year in elementary education. I wanted to be a teacher and for all the right reasons it was a passion of mine just like history, geography, and photography. Unfortunately I learned that even with all the passion in the world it doesn't make up for lack of aptitude turns out I didn't have the smarts to be a teacher and failed two of the three main courses for the major and was basically told in the nicest way possible by my adviser, who is also head of the education program at my school, that it's best that I pursue something else.
So now here I am again looking for work filling out applications daily and getting a ride to town about once a week to visit the local temp agency only to always get told I'm unqualified for the jobs they're offering and not getting phone calls from the jobs I applied for. And what few interviews I have landed I get told in the end they're looking for someone with more qualifications as well and I'm not making this up but I was even told that by interviewer at a fast food restaurant (it wasn't even a management position either) you can doubt me all you want there but I'm being honest.
Sorry that I'm being rude in my response but your post did set me off a bit it did make me cry and feel even more worthless than I already do. It's responses like that that make have a negative outlook.
Yes you're right after all I been through I want it to be easier I'm doing my part in being a self advocate whats wrong with wanting the outside factors to be easy huh?? If things were more affordable like healthcare I wouldn't be looking to getting on medicaid or other forms of assistance.
And sorry but I refuse to join the military I respect all that has been in and currently serving but I know it's not for me and it's not the discipline part either I'm totally unfit for it and plus being trans would make things worse.
That's all I'm gonna say now if you have any more questions or comments please feel to leave and have a good day
Hate to beat a dead horse, especially after you just said it's not an option for you, but the military was a godsend for me. My parents made too much money for me to get financial aid and refused to pay a dime toward that or living expenses, insisting that I make it on my own. I got lucky and had a temp job for $9/hr, which was double the minimum wage, but almost every penny I made went into paying living expenses and transportation to work. I was doing my grocery shopping at the dollar store and still struggling to stretch the money. I can't say it wasn't tough in the military, especially being trans, and I saw some places I never want to see again, but my military service is what put me in the career I'm in now. I work as a consultant now and almost every job offer I got was because the hiring manager liked that I had military experience and in some cases they did the exact same thing in the military. Not to mention I picked up a lot of extra benefits I would not have had if I hadn't done it. If you can muster up the strength to do it, I would highly recommend it. Four years may seem like a long time, but the benefit in the end is worth it in my opinion.
I'm sorry but It's just too tough for me
Like I said try truck driving alot of companies train their drivers and pay your living expenses through training. Besides all your required to do is try to drive 550 miles a day. My son did it and he had the same problem unhireable because of how huge he is 6'4" 385 and wears a size 18 shoe and most places didn't have much rm for him to maneuver,and he is making good money just to go from point a to b in a timely manner. If your single you can love in the truck and watch your expenditures and drive 15yrs with the right company and you can retire in style and be able to transition with no money worries.
I appreciate the suggestion but I can't operate a stick shift or any kind of vehicle for that matter
Okay well this might not help but I have a suggestion. It's complicated, but I've been receiving food stamps in Florida for quite a while now, because I'm disabled. But hear me out, because you don't *need* to be disabled to get them, and it gets interesting.
It gets interesting because, in Florida, they passed a law recently stating that if you are able bodied you can receive food stamps for a certain period of time and then you have to get a job to continue receiving them. I'm given to understand this is happening in other states as well. (Like I said, it's complicated, so keep reading!)
What they do is, you sign up for food stamps. You will get approved for expedited or emergency food assistance benefits if your living expenses exceed your income, which they would for someone with no income. They'll send you a letter in the mail or a notice online (whichever is your preference) stating what you get per month and for how many months you're approved. (Commonly, people have to reapply every four months or so. nbd if you do it in a timely manner.)
Then they'll send you another notice stating you have to work to keep getting your benefits. They'll give you a website to go to and an address to go to if you're unable to do the web orientation. You'll put in your work experience and skills and so on, and they'll help you find a job/get in on some job training/etc. As long as you're *trying* to get a job or cooperating with the program, they'll keep your food benefits going.
Someone else suggested you consider taking college/university courses, which I would second. You can get student loans and grants from the government to help with that. For me, I often got excess financial aid while I was in school, and with that, you can do whatever you like. I also used my aid to find a place to stay, etc, usually on campus but sometimes elsewhere.
With the university stuff, you can just pick whatever major you like at whatever community college or bigger uni type place, and just take gen ed courses at first. Then later you can maybe pick a different major after you've had time to really think about it. Or you could drop out after a semester if your situation changes or you decide that's the thing to do. Like I said, you can get grants and loans or one or the other, and I know having loans is unappealing, but listen, if you can do that, it might be the difference between having a place to stay and not.
And no doubt it be easier to do this in Washington State
Pre-transition I had a decent and very well paying white collar job, then I fell into prostitution. I'm now a luxury escort in Europe. If you know how to do it, there's nothing disgusting. I filter in my ads and say I accept only european men, maximum 40 years and no fatties nor too uglies and it works pretty good. To me it's now fun and earning a lot when I wanna really work. You are your own boss. And everything with condom, even oral, no kissing anything.
eh no thanks
Alot of trucking companies have automatics and they teach you to drive. I've seen people who couldn't drive become good truckers. Don't sell yourself short.
re: what someone said about prostitution... there's always phone work. You could be a phone actress or chat with folks online who are looking for company, without getting anywhere near them if that's not something you're comfortable with.
I've been considering this type of work for myself, actually, especially if I don't get disability. I've been denied already but I have a hearing in September. My situation is complicated, but the point is... you wouldn't have to actually do anything with other people or even be in the same room. You could like do Sudoku puzzles or something while you're pretending to be super into whatever some dude is about. I mean, it's not exactly my idea of a great time, but the option is there.
Or like, I don't know how you'd feel about this, but you could post on Craigslist to clean people's houses and whatnot. I don't know what sort of skills or experience you have in the past, or what hobbies you have, so I would also advise you to consider that. And think about if you have anything worth money that you could sell online or even take to a pawn shop or something. That's a bit more obvious but I'm just trying to suggest anything I think /might/ help.
I give up there's nothing I can do I'm gonna end up homeless, unable to get a job, starve, and unable to get hormones. There's no kind of assistance I can get help from. I'm unable to get the skills needed for the job market because everything is too hard for me. I'm getting to the point where suicide is my only option cause there's nothing in this forsaken country that'll help :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(
You fall into this pattern every time you post these threads soliciting suggestions for what to do next. I understand that life hasn't worked out for you, and there are a lot of things that you feel you can't do or are uncomfortable doing. But that's really what life is. I know very few people who feel 100% that their job is the exact right fit for them, their knowledge, and their skill set. I'm profoundly uncomfortable doing my current job. It requires me to be an expert in things that I am not, to give advice to business owners and speak at length about the changes they should make in order to stay afloat. It has given me a lot of anxiety and is well outside my comfort zone. But it gives me money and it has great benefits. Until my transition is completely over, I will be staying in this job that completely stresses me out that I feel unfit for.
You will not get positive changes in your life if you insist on maintaining the status quo. Everything you have tried so far hasn't worked for you. You need to try something new if anything is going to change for you for the better.
EmilyRyan you want help or a pitty party,I suggested a job where they train you,give you a truck you can live in til you could afford a place. Don't sell yourself short,this career is the easiest but hardest career outside of the military. I've seen women who have never drove before become better truckers then their male counterparts. What type of job you want? A job where you sit around doing nothing and get paid to do nothing. Like I said I never had problems finding work,most times work came to me because of my reputation. Right now I wash dishes 20 hr's a weekend after 5 yrs making 10 dollars an hr doing it, the job came looking for me because of my work ethic,I have this job as long as I want it, the owners don't want me to quit.
There is a lot in this thread that I can relate to with the OP.
I have a disability (mild to moderate) cerebral palsy. Along with limited vision it prevents me from driving a car. but I just applied, and was granted earlier this week, a reduced disability pass for the local transit bus here in NJ. And after doing some calling, I am eligible for the local disabled bus as well. That one has fixed routes (grocery stores, shopping malls etc) and direct door to door services. So I am not stuck for a ride if I need one.
Also if I can, I do not mind walking from place to place.
I also have some learning issues as well. Math and I are never going to be best friends. But I do my best to figure out how to pay for things I want and need within the budget I have, and the money I make.
Also, what about college course online? That is what I did. I went through a university in Virginia, completely online. I used grants and loans as well. So at least school could be doable for you. Also what was is very nice about that is that it completely self done. Yes there is a professor and other students, but you are responsible for learning the materials by yourself. Which is something that helped me immensely with my own education.
Hope you are doing well and please do not beat yourself up too much.
I really don't know what to say. I'm sorry that I feel the way I do :'(
Quote from: EmilyRyan on May 18, 2016, 02:48:00 PM
I really don't know what to say. I'm sorry that I feel the way I do :'(
So your wanting is too feel sorry for you and give you handouts?
I don't know what I want anymore.
As for the trucking suggestion look I appreciate you going out of your day to give suggestions but the best way I can put it it's not a job for me and no I don't want a job where I just do nothing sorry if that's what I implied. Again I don't know what else to say.
Wow people. This is how you scare people off. Sometimes people just need a listening ear to vent to or a shoulder to cry on. They don't need to be talked at so they can hear all the criticism life is already throwing their way on a daily basis. This is exactly how you don't treat someone who has admitted they are in a crisis. I'm starting to think that this is not a good forum to seek at help anymore. :(
Topic locked for review :police: