I'm always feeling like i'm constantly on the search to find someone who i can relate to
and someone who thinks about the same sort of things iv'e found a couple people and its helped however its almost like i want to continue to find more. Seeing certain posts and going wow i relate to that person! really helps
but it seems so rare when i do and then i start to question why others seem to find people to relate to so much more.
Its like i am trying to find a validation that isn't going to happen someone can tell me what i am i can tell me what i am but i'm always always worried or scared. Then i wonder and get worried on questions even like am i asking to much? Is me asking others if they do the same a little to constant? I don't know...is this really what it feels like to find yourself? It confuses me sometimes.
Midnight - I too felt the same way, unsure, over analyzing, questioning every step. Then one day I looked back and saw that each step, although totally terrifying, was making me happier and happier. This past weekend was a huge leap for me (I told a large group of friends) and ever since I've felt WONDERFUL. It's unexpected but welcomed relief.
I do know that stopping to second guess every little step was eating me up.
Try to accept who you are. Be happy who you are. You are unique. Think of all the other people you pass in the street with just a boring life. We get the opportunity to see life from both sides of the fence. As soon as I started thinking like that, the dark clouds lifted slowly.
Quote from: pj on May 18, 2016, 04:27:10 PM
Midnight - I too felt the same way, unsure, over analyzing, questioning every step. Then one day I looked back and saw that each step, although totally terrifying, was making me happier and happier. This past weekend was a huge leap for me (I told a large group of friends) and ever since I've felt WONDERFUL. It's unexpected but welcomed relief.
I do know that stopping to second guess every little step was eating me up.
Try to accept who you are. Be happy who you are. You are unique. Think of all the other people you pass in the street with just a boring life. We get the opportunity to see life from both sides of the fence. As soon as I started thinking like that, the dark clouds lifted slowly.
I think for me i'm to locked up in a house with no where to go and zero friends outside the internet to let it go
and understand that its eating me up. Heck that's probably why its eating me up i feel trapped in two places
one in transition and another in a house where nothing happens, where i know nobody. I've been fighting a couple paths to try and go back to Georgia where my best friend is so i can get away from this feeling and try doing what people are basically telling me and that is to get out and see other people and look at life around me. I don't have that option yet though and may not have it for another year and that is the worst timing possible. I don't know what else to do other then wait, or get a job but there isn't a job around me that i can feel safe working at and walking over to instead of driving. Heck i didn't even know what it was like to go out to the movies with friends until i was 18 years old and it was also the first time i ever went out to the movies with friends. When i can i walk outside and down the road to get a ice coffee it takes about a hour but it gives me something to feel something to see.
I feel like if i had that opportunity i could. (Sorry if i'm shooting everything down but that's the reality at the moment) i don't mean to shoot everything down, but at the same time i don't want to i want to live a life i want to
understand beyond my bedroom...i want to see if the outside world lets me understand who i am.
It's just a big waiting game, and im stuck inside a waiting game.
- try to value what you have. Other people live in noisy neighbourhoods and would like some kind of quiet place.
- try to go out a bit. AFAB people usually are socialized to be a bit careful outside. As you come more and more into a male image you may see you can gain freedom.
- don't look outside for validation. Look inside. Try to switch off all sound and distractions and listen to your feelings.
You lkely will feel who you really are ... and there is no need to doubt. Just accept it. Be happy with it. Try to remember that feeling, and get back to it from time to time.
- try to be stable in your actions. Don't hop from activity to activity, do something and stick with it for some time.
- try to validate what you do. Have joy in it, and be happy with it. Validate yourself.
hugs