Hey everyone
Many time I see statements ect IF YOU WANT TO PASS IN LIFE YOU HAVE TO TRANSITION BEFORE THE AGE OF 20
well im at the start have check outs for HRT
and am in my middle 20s, i know bones etc HRT will not change but statements from people (OH ITS TO LATE ASTER 20 YOU people never pass and looks like crossdressers) such words make me very depressed
just wanted to share my feelings and fears ???
I went full time at 51. I pass in public all the time.
Of course if I had an intimate partner, I'd have to take off my wig and he'd see I was trans, but I'd want him to have known that long before we get to that point.
Quote from: RUBYYY on May 19, 2016, 05:59:27 AM
Hey everyone
Many time I see statements ect IF YOU WANT TO PASS IN LIFE YOU HAVE TO TRANSITION BEFORE THE AGE OF 20
well im at the start have check outs for HRT
and am in my middle 20s, i know bones etc HRT will not change but statements from people (OH ITS TO LATE ASTER 20 YOU people never pass and looks like crossdressers) such words make me very depressed
just wanted to share my feelings and fears ???
Lol don't look at those statements.
Its generalization and not true for all people.
Many trans people were kind of made for this. Many FTM people have high testosterone, etc.
I'd say try to use what you have ... and its simply difficult to say what results hrt will have. But many people had changes.
You may look up pictures of Isley Reust, she for example has a hairstyle to cover brows and forehead.
There is a thread where you can ask for other peoples opinions and hints for improvement:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,193485.msg1857126/topicseen.html#msg1857126
hugs
I started HRT a few months before turning 23, and I turned out fine. I'm not going to lie, starting earlier does tend to lead to better passing. However, in the grand scheme of things, and relative to a lot of people, 25 is still very, very young.
I hope not I haven't started yet and I'm 33. Try checking out this youtube channel it helped me a lot, she started when she was 31 (or 32 I don't remember)
https://www.youtube.com/user/Charlie247Girl
You're talking to the wrong people. I went fulltime at 40 and pass just fine even without makeup, although my pass rate rises with it. I don't have the chest I wish I did, but they are still noticeable enough for passing with the right clothing on.
Thank you
Yes im 27, and all the time it goes through my mind is it too late, its from the optical and visual point of view or as many say PASS
Its very frustirating, i have bright shoulders and im 5.8 tall
Today i became more depressed again about that when i read the suicide letter from teenager teen trans girl Leelah Alcorn, 17 where she wrote: I'm never going to transition successfully, When I was 16 I realized that my parents would never come around, and that I would have to wait until I was 18 to start any sort of transitioning treatment, which absolutely broke my heart. The longer you wait, the harder it is to transition. I felt hopeless, that I was just going to look like a man in drag for the rest of my life. On my 16th birthday, when I didn't receive consent from my parents to start transitioning, I cried myself to sleep.
It broke my heart and also opened the fears that i also have with my middle twenties, she has them allready by 17y
I can't imagine what's it's like for a kid these days. I had no idea I wasn't the only one or even that there were options available until after I moved out of my parents house. To know it was possible and be blocked on it, I'm not sure how I would handle that.
I have 3 parents and 2 of them are very strict gender nazis. For me personally, I think the easiest time to transition was right when I did it. Sure I had to tell half the state because of all my creditors, but I was mentally prepared to not care what other people thought and I never had that mental fortitude until very recently.
Being young may probably would have helped with some of the physical changes. I may still have my hair, but the best time to transition is when you are ready to do so. I was 60 when I came out to my partner of over 40 years, and for me that was the right time. Social, family and work conditions were not right for me to come out any earlier. Be it for lack of courage or what ever, I didn't. Do I dream about what it would have been like to have lived most of my life as the woman I am, you bet. I realize that it doesn't matter. My life made be the woman I am today and that is totally OK. I am out full time and with the help of a wig and very light make up, I pass almost 99%! I even pass on the phone! I look forward to my life ahead knowing that those close to me are totally supportive of me! I don't know if anyone can alway be totally prepared for what we face, and this is different for everyone, but you need to believe in who you are! There will be many who don't and you will need to decide how and when to deal with them and ultimately whether they matter to you.
I knew when I was 13 but I couldn't start hormones until I was 26 years old. If you look through this site you will find many who started much latter than I did. Be careful about what you read on many of the other web sites because they contain many untrue and sometimes dangerous information.
The moderator staff on this site is very active and we attempt to provide the most accurate information possible. Should we encounter anything that is questionable, a report is generated. If the first person viewing the report is sure of the issue, correction or rejection of the report will take place then. If there is a question about the report, several moderators and administrators many comment on the report before an action is taken. Some of the other sites have brutal names for this site but that is the price we pay in order to maintain a safe and truthful medical information site.
Yes, the ideal transition would be to start puberty blockers at the start of puberty and then start HRT around 18 but very few on this site have had that luxury. I suggest you look at the before and after thread (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,168444.msg1464419.html) to see what's possible and you may discover you are at the ideal age to start your transition.
Thank you all my girls it help alot sharing your opinion
I think it's just a matter of what you need.
Quote
IF YOU WANT TO PASS IN LIFE YOU HAVE TO TRANSITION BEFORE THE AGE OF 20
I sure hope that's not true. I started HRT at age 62.
I don't expect to be able to go stealth, but then, to go stealth, I'd have to move to somewhere where nobody knows me and make sure nobody knows anyone from any of the other places I've lived.
Nope. Not gonna happen. I'm not even planning to change jobs. So everyone who knows me is going to know I used to be male.
I only have to "pass" to casual strangers. And a lot of people have told me that's quite doable. If anything, it's easier at my age, since when you get old and shrivelled like me, the men start looking like the ladies and vice versa. Nature's own non-binary!
Passing's overrated, anyway. Bad girls have more fun, and what's badder than being a "trannie"?
Another advantage to super-late transitioning: I don't give an <expletive deleted> what people think any more. They could kill me, but so what?
Life is going to kill me in, what?, 20 years, if not sooner. As for anything less, they've done their worst and I'm still here (well, most of me, anyway. Ya know, I could have sworn I used to have
two hands at one time. :) )
Disclaimer: I seem to be in one of my "up" moods. Who knows what I'll say tomorrow?
Quote from: RUBYYY on May 19, 2016, 05:59:27 AM
Hey everyone
Many time I see statements ect IF YOU WANT TO PASS IN LIFE YOU HAVE TO TRANSITION BEFORE THE AGE OF 20
well im at the start have check outs for HRT
and am in my middle 20s, i know bones etc HRT will not change but statements from people (OH ITS TO LATE ASTER 20 YOU people never pass and looks like crossdressers) such words make me very depressed
just wanted to share my feelings and fears ???
If you're
lucky, you'll look like a crossdresser. :)
Signed, a beautiful crossdresser. 8)
Hugs, Devlyn
Quote from: Asche on May 19, 2016, 09:33:18 AM
I sure hope that's not true. I started HRT at age 62.
I don't expect to be able to go stealth, but then, to go stealth, I'd have to move to somewhere where nobody knows me and make sure nobody knows anyone from any of the other places I've lived.
Nope. Not gonna happen. I'm not even planning to change jobs. So everyone who knows me is going to know I used to be male.
I only have to "pass" to casual strangers. And a lot of people have told me that's quite doable. If anything, it's easier at my age, since when you get old and shrivelled like me, the men start looking like the ladies and vice versa. Nature's own non-binary!
Passing's overrated, anyway. Bad girls have more fun, and what's badder than being a "trannie"?
Another advantage to super-late transitioning: I don't give an <expletive deleted> what people think any more. They could kill me, but so what? Life is going to kill me in, what?, 20 years, if not sooner. As for anything less, they've done their worst and I'm still here (well, most of me, anyway. Ya know, I could have sworn I used to have two hands at one time. :) )
Disclaimer: I seem to be in one of my "up" moods. Who knows what I'll say tomorrow?
Nothing is! I fly my freak flag high. ;)
Hugs, Devlyn
I don't know who these cruel people are, but they're wrong. Go look in the "Before and after" thread for lots of examples of lovely women who started later. :) Starting younger *may* help, but so much of that is up to individual variation (some cis men are more masculinized at 18 than others are at 30, for example) that there's no way to know whether it would have been different for a specific person.
I started HRT at 32 (and 5'8"). Within three months, I was read as female most of the time except by people who knew me before; by six months, I could not convince anyone that the male ID I still had was actually mine, and that includes when I was dressed as a guy and had no makeup on. I won't say I ended up pretty - on my best days, I think I look vaguely like a potato - but I definitely am not mistaken for a man.
Bullpoop. I started hormones at age 27, I haven't had any body surgery or face surgery, and not only do I pass as female to the point that I'm stealth at work, I'm unable to pass as male anymore, even if I tried. (I did try a couple of months ago during the primary elections, because I forgot to change the name on my voter registration. And I was still called "she" despite showing up in a baggy t-shirt, chest bound, trying to speak in a "male" voice, and using my old male name when they asked me what my name was.)
And I was definitely NOT a twinky feminine-appearing person pre-transition. I didn't transition or start hormones for my entire adult life, from age 14 to age 27, because I believed that I was just too big and too masculine to ever pass, under that exact same wrong assumption that I'd never be rid of my big neck, big shoulders, "I'd just look like a man in a dress," etc. Here I am now, post-transition, stealth, and unable to pass as male even if I tried.
Also, most of my closest trans friends didn't transition until their late 20s / early 30s, and my reaction to pretty much all of them when I first met them was my mind being blown by how feminine they all were.
There's no such thing as "too late." A better question to ask would be what are you missing out on in life by staying in a form that makes you hate yourself?
I started ar 75 give or take a few years and I think I look all right
I haven't transitioned and really trying to figure out if that's the route I would want to go. I can't right now anyways. Life is really complicated.
I'm 44. 5'11 ish. Large hands and in my opinion, large-ish head.
Is the concept of it being too late because the HRT won't have as much of an effect? I thought it has a lot to do with genetics.
Is it unreasonable to think that in mid to late 40s, a transition could yield passable results with HRT alone (no surgery)?
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Quote from: Amber42 on May 20, 2016, 07:02:02 AM
Is it unreasonable to think that in mid to late 40s, a transition could yield passable results with HRT alone (no surgery)?
Nope.
Definitely a girl can transition after age 20...yikes... of course YES.
I'm in my 50's. This is a lot more years of testosterone poisoning to overcome. Yet, I have worked as an actress "extra" (for transportation expense reimbursement only but yeah that's real money isn't it? :) ) on nationwide television with millions of TV viewers in Europe as well as actress "extra" on Internet TV with over 170,000 youtube views. And my photos to millions of nationwide newspaper readers.
Now, certainly it would have been much better for me to have transitioned to JENNIFER when I was 21 years old. Likely I could have been a model. Oh, well, but still better late than never. There was no Internet then with trans info and things were less socially accepted then. So I didn't know how to deal with my dysphoria issues at that time.
One downside that later transitioners should be aware of that can be difficult to handle emotionally is intentional misgendering and bullying due primarily to physical appearance. This can come from cis (non-trans) people and from other trans girls. Bullying and intentional misgendering is more deplorable coming from other trans girls since they too are a very small minority and might have faced many of the same bullying issues earlier in their transitions. I mean, at that time I still had to use a wig (I never use a wig now) and the wig hairline was sometimes a little obvious. Anyway, I kept working at passing as even more cis beautiful and now I feel this has been accomplished. I rarely get misgendered now in face-to-face real life. But last year I almost did suicide because of so much bullying against my physical appearance from both cis (non-trans) people and some trans girls. In real life now, most people who didn't know me before I transitioned to JENNIFER just take me as a beautiful older woman.
Now, in real life face-to-face I just "go stealth" meaning I live 24 /7 as full-time, legally and medically hormonally Jennifer and I don't even tell people I am a trans girl unless absolutely necessary.
Quote from: Amber42 on May 20, 2016, 07:02:02 AM
Is it unreasonable to think that in mid to late 40s, a transition could yield passable results with HRT alone (no surgery)?
There are lots of people that transition much later than that where HRT was sufficient. I'm not one of them. I was 40 when I started HRT and within a few months went fulltime because people were calling me ma'am more often than they were calling me sir and I was still presenting male. I have no intentions of getting any surgery except the bottom one and that one's not visible, so it really has very little to do with passing unless you plan to wear bathing suits and stretch pants a lot.
Well. I'm 51, started DHT blockers at 43 without anything further in terms of HRT (primarily because that's the compromise I and my spouse can both live with), am 6'2", and non-binary (so trying to pass is not really a priority). A couple of years ago I figured enough people had tried to kick me out of a men's loo that it might be more prudent to start using the ladies'. Haven't had problems there.
So no, 20 isn't too old.
Hi,
I am 53 and have been on hrt almost 3 years. People keep saying I am losing weight (I am not it is shifting and I am adding muscle) and look you are really showing (boobs). My face looks different too. I am having surgery in Sept to remove male makers in my face to help. I presently get mam and she sometimes.
Quote from: Seshatneferw on May 20, 2016, 03:31:27 PM
Well. I'm 51, started DHT blockers at 43 without anything further in terms of HRT (primarily because that's the compromise I and my spouse can both live with), am 6'2", and non-binary (so trying to pass is not really a priority). A couple of years ago I figured enough people had tried to kick me out of a men's loo that it might be more prudent to start using the ladies'. Haven't had problems there.
So no, 20 isn't too old.
Since going full-time female, I have used ONLY women's restrooms/toilets and women's fitting rooms when buying bras or skirts or blouses or whatever. I have never been asked for ID (although my USA Passport is female gender were I to be asked) and never given a second look = no issues from the female attendants in fitting rooms and no issues with any other women in the restroom/toilet or fitting room.
I would be afraid of arrest upon arrival at the toilet at the airport in Charlotte or Raleigh/Durham though currently due to that state's Neanderthal bathroom laws. >:(
Transitioned at 48 with generally no problems passing in public. Age isn't the real issue, it's how much damage testosterone might do to your overall physicality in terms of bones and muscles that will generally be more the issue. And as we know those things have usually happened before you turn 20 if they're going to happen. In some cases HRT may not be "enough" but that is purely a personal choice. If you want to transition don't let fear of age hold you back or before you know it you'll be 37...47...57 and wishing you'd done it when you were the age you are now.
I passed about half the time before I started hormones. I was living full time 6 months before I started HRT at 56. I did not really care at that point in my life if I passed, was just doing what I had to do to stay alive.
Hard to believe looking at a still picture me that I pass all time. There is more to passing than how you look , demeanor is important as well.
If you feel you need to transition do it, this gender thing does not heal on its own it festers and poisons your life. I convinced myself to not transition in my 20's, to say that I have regrets is an understatement.
Thank you my girls, you dont know, how much your words and sharings have helped me and gave me hope. thank you soooo much :-*
I just love the positivity and support that comes from this group! Boy do I wish this existed 25 years ago.
Your answers are giving me hope.
Quote from: Seshatneferw on May 20, 2016, 03:31:27 PM
Well. I'm 51, started DHT blockers at 43 without anything further in terms of HRT (primarily because that's the compromise I and my spouse can both live with), am 6'2", and non-binary (so trying to pass is not really a priority). A couple of years ago I figured enough people had tried to kick me out of a men's loo that it might be more prudent to start using the ladies'. Haven't had problems there.
So no, 20 isn't too old.
So you have been on DHT blockers only? What are the changes you've experienced on that alone? This too is a topic of conversation in my life now. Seems like a compromise position.
Quote from: Stevie on May 20, 2016, 06:31:29 PM
I passed about half the time before I started hormones. I was living full time 6 months before I started HRT at 56. I did not really care at that point in my life if I passed, was just doing what I had to do to stay alive.
Hard to believe looking at a still picture me that I pass all time. There is more to passing than how you look , demeanor is important as well.
If you feel you need to transition do it, this gender thing does not heal on its own it festers and poisons your life. I convinced myself to not transition in my 20's, to say that I have regrets is an understatement.
Agreed! I estimate that demeanor is 30% to 40% of passing. And that's right. When one feels that death is preferable to staying in the wrong gender, it is time to transition.
+1 to your reputation for this post. :)
Quote from: RUBYYY on May 21, 2016, 02:11:22 AM
Thank you my girls, you dont know, how much your words and sharings have helped me and gave me hope. thank you soooo much :-*
You are very welcome and good luck. xx
Quote from: Amber42 on May 21, 2016, 07:56:00 AM
So you have been on DHT blockers only? What are the changes you've experienced on that alone? This too is a topic of conversation in my life now. Seems like a compromise position.
Let's see...
1) General thinning of body hair. These days, I run an epilator across my legs every couple of weeks, not because I need to but more because I can. The little chest hair I used to have has disappeared pretty much completely, and I've got no new beard growth after electrolysis. But I wasn't all that hairy to start with.
2) Hair loss from my forehead has stopped, but what was lost was lost so I wear a scarf. Still, it's possible to have a hair style that doesn't scream 'middle-aged man here'.
3) Some breast growth, enough that I've had a mammogram (turned out to be nothing malign; whew). They are rather shallow and as an additional complication I've got a small bony ridge between them where the wire of a full-cup bra would go, so the best fit seems to be a 36D / 38C push-up bra. The cups are full enough to support me and not feel loose but I don't get the kind of cleavage one would expect just looking at the sizes.
4) Perhaps some general softening of facial features, although I think this is more a result of electrolysis. Getting rid of beard shadow makes a big difference, and the loss of hair roots changes the shape of the upper lip.
5) Loss of most unwanted erections and weakening of those that are actually related to sexual arousal. It's hard to say how much of the change from male towards female sexuality is a result of changes in the hormonal balance and how much of it is psychological.
Quote from: Seshatneferw on May 20, 2016, 03:31:27 PM
Well. I'm 51, started DHT blockers at 43 without anything further in terms of HRT (primarily because that's the compromise I and my spouse can both live with), am 6'2", and non-binary (so trying to pass is not really a priority). A couple of years ago I figured enough people had tried to kick me out of a men's loo that it might be more prudent to start using the ladies'. Haven't had problems there.
Wow what it must be like living with enlightened people. Stay away from North Carolina.
So no, 20 isn't too old.
Quote from: DawnOday on May 22, 2016, 09:56:49 AMWow what it must be like living with enlightened people. Stay away from North Carolina.
Yes; the last time I visited the US, I was still passing as male. I guess you can understand hoiw happy I was when the Finnish gender equality act was amended, at the start of last year, to explicitly give trans and intersex people essentially the same protection that cis people have. Of course, that isn't the whole truth; there is still quite a bit of anti-trans sentiment, and right-wing populists are much more prominent in politics than they were a few years ago.
Quote from: Seshatneferw on May 22, 2016, 07:36:40 AM
Let's see...
1) General thinning of body hair. These days, I run an epilator across my legs every couple of weeks, not because I need to but more because I can. The little chest hair I used to have has disappeared pretty much completely, and I've got no new beard growth after electrolysis. But I wasn't all that hairy to start with.
2) Hair loss from my forehead has stopped, but what was lost was lost so I wear a scarf. Still, it's possible to have a hair style that doesn't scream 'middle-aged man here'.
3) Some breast growth, enough that I've had a mammogram (turned out to be nothing malign; whew). They are rather shallow and as an additional complication I've got a small bony ridge between them where the wire of a full-cup bra would go, so the best fit seems to be a 36D / 38C push-up bra. The cups are full enough to support me and not feel loose but I don't get the kind of cleavage one would expect just looking at the sizes.
4) Perhaps some general softening of facial features, although I think this is more a result of electrolysis. Getting rid of beard shadow makes a big difference, and the loss of hair roots changes the shape of the upper lip.
5) Loss of most unwanted erections and weakening of those that are actually related to sexual arousal. It's hard to say how much of the change from male towards female sexuality is a result of changes in the hormonal balance and how much of it is psychological.
Thank you for the info :-)
I was talking to my doctor about Finasteride (propecia) for hair loss. I'm not sure about what the dosage I would need to see any of the changes you experienced. He did not prescribe anything because he wanted to start discussions about the GD I'm going through. I'm going to see him in 2.5 weeks again.
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Quote from: Amber42 on May 31, 2016, 07:51:49 PM
I'm not sure about what the dosage I would need to see any of the changes you experienced.
That varies a lot. I started with finasteride at a regular dosage for hair loss, and my nipples started aching soon afterwards. I eventually switched to dutasteride, mostly because its half-life is much longer, so one day of forgetting to take it won't make a difference. But the effects are very individual.
One of the best things I ever did was start watching YouTube videos and reading these forums. I was also under the impression that it was just too late for me to start transitioning. I started 6 months ago on my 43rd birthday. Right now I am not living as female and I do my best to hide my 36A's and all the other body changes that have taken place. I usually wear short hair and more masculine clothing. I'm just not in a situation where I can go full time and most of the time I'm fine with it. Mostly people tell me that my skin is amazing and that I look much younger than my 43 years. So, that's a huge benefit I have received from HRT. Of course, I probably would have done better if I had started in my teens or early 20's when I had less muscle development and more hair... but I know I wasn't ready back in the day. Hopefully HRT will soften the muscles. Not sure it will help with the hair, but wigs are fine with me.
The biggest thing you need is confidence. I know I'm still working on my confidence. It's never too late to become you.
Michaela, I agree, there is so much info nowadays. So nice to hear your happy and doing well with your progress. We are essentially the same age. With my situation, can't do the full time thing right now.
Are you on full HRT, with Tblocker?
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Quote from: Seshatneferw on June 04, 2016, 05:29:16 PM
That varies a lot. I started with finasteride at a regular dosage for hair loss, and my nipples started aching soon afterwards. I eventually switched to dutasteride, mostly because its half-life is much longer, so one day of forgetting to take it won't make a difference. But the effects are very individual.
Thanks for info. I'm seeing my doctor next week. I might try Finasteride first, but will discuss the dutrasteride option.
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Since we can't really say dosages... I'd say I'm on a low dose of both estradiol and spironolactone compared to what I know of some other transwomen. That will hopefully change to full dose after the 14th when I see my doctor again. I'm also going to talk about adding finasteride or dutasteride to my regimen to see if it helps with the thinning I have. I was trying to be patient enough to see if just estrogen and spiro would help but it really doesn't seem to be doing too well on my head.
I just think it's awful how so many will tell you that transitioning after a certain age is worthless. There are younger transwomen who have had a more difficult time than some of the more mature transwomen I know.
Quote from: Amber42 on June 05, 2016, 02:43:07 PM
Michaela, I agree, there is so much info nowadays. So nice to hear your happy and doing well with your progress. We are essentially the same age. With my situation, can't do the full time thing right now.
Are you on full HRT, with Tblocker?
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